Is it a sucker who accepts his wife doesnt have his surname or times have changed :

[Cereal_Bowl_Assassin]

Every man in here on some: 'It doesnt matter, there's no household leader, we're all equal.' Wave go ahead and let her refuse to take your name. Then she's going to override you on whenever you decide to move, on what last name the kids have, how the money is spent, she'll be going on frequent "girls' night out" trips and supercede you on that, tell you exactly how to raise your kids and override you if you refuse, etc etc.

A man sets the direction ultimately, and if a woman isnt so smitten with you that she doesnt tell you directly she wants your last name, kids, etc then you're probably a beta ass provider mufugga.

I mean, all of this stuff should be laid out before a couple gets married...it doesn't a lot of times though

 

[KingFreeman]

I mean, all of this stuff should be laid out before a couple gets married...it doesn't a lot of times though

Too true. Ive been guilty of this in my younger days, but alot of men will overlook red flags and let behaviors slide to "keep the peace" or because the woman is attractive just as women will do the same for a man they view as alpha.

 

[Sandy_Cheeks]

Interesting responses.

 

[Ohene]

if a girl doesnt take my name, I'm not marrying her...period

my ex girlfriend said she'd want to keep her last name, which was her dad's first name ...mind you her dad was abusive to her mother and estranged from the family. That shyt was just disrespectful to me and proved it was based on some egotistical, feminist bullshyt

if homie making the sacrifice to marry a woman, the least she could do is take a brothers last name

 

[Ohene]

Her wanting to keep her last name isn’t always about the man. What if she really respects her dad, her last name and wants her Dad’s legacy represented in her last name! I see nothting wrong.

bet her mom took her dad's last name though

 

[JerseyFinest!]

Times have changed.

My wife didn’t “take” my last name. We both thought logically about it and said...why?

My Question is....why not?

 

[Ozymandeas]

fukk i look like being hard pressed about a slave name?


I dont even want this shyt im not gonna knock another man for not caring about it but I'll be damned if a nikka tries to convince me to be about my last name

Just comes off as blindly following a tradition without thinking about what it really is

You getting lost in the weeds here. Think about it abstractly. Regardless of where it originated, she’s rejecting YOUR NAME and choosing to keep HER FATHER’S NAME. That’s completely antithetical to the idea of marriage. If you’re religious, that’s completely antithetical to God’s instructions to become one. Any women deeply in love with you should want to take your last name. Girls be imagining themselves with their boyfriend’s name since grade school. It’s very atypical to find a girl who is the opposite and it’s not a good sign at all.

 

[Action Mike]

she can marry her daddy then.

in all seriousness, women can do wtf they want. I personally wouldn’t marry a woman who can’t let go of her last name. I’m actually engaged right now and that was one of the first things I discussed with my fiancée while dating.

If a woman mentions her dad as the reason, she aint ready to start a family with you.

Its the worst excuse out of them all.

These sorts of marriages are starting with women taking the lead, in a community were male leadership is badly needed. Out here adopting white women shyt takes.

God help us.

 

[1LurkerChick9]

fukk i look like being hard pressed about a slave name?


I dont even want this shyt im not gonna knock another man for not caring about it but I'll be damned if a nikka tries to convince me to be about my last name

Just comes off as blindly following a tradition without thinking about what it really is

That’s exactly what it is
Just like slaves had to take the name of their master,women had to take the name of their husbands because they were considered property too

I’m really conflicted

Pleasantly surprised at some of these responses tho

 

[levitate]

My Question is....why not?

Because there is no practical advantage to do so?

Because the wife’s name may be important to her (in my case my wife wrote numerous research papers under her given/maiden name)?

Because one likes to ask why something is done before blindly doing it?

 

[Astroslik]

The best news about conversations like this is that any man who demands I take their name is a man I would never want to be with in the first place. Everybody wins!

Pick me's are still keeping their husbands' last names? I didn't know that was a thing anymore. Most women I knew kept their names and added their husband's name. Hell, my best friend is Nigerian and married to a Nigerian man, and *she* didn't even change her name!

Was with you until the second paragraph. Just scream jadedness and bitterness. Can’t take a woman seriously who uses terms like “pick Me” as an insult to other women who don’t live the way they do smh

 

[JerseyFinest!]

Because there is no practical advantage to do so?

Because the wife’s name may be important to her (in my case my wife wrote numerous research papers under her given/maiden name)?

Because one likes to ask why something is done before blindly doing it?

So a logical reason for your spouse not taking your last name is because of written research papers?

Best of luck to you fam..

 

[DapMeUp!]

Because there is no practical advantage to do so?

Because the wife’s name may be important to her (in my case my wife wrote numerous research papers under her given/maiden name)?

Because one likes to ask why something is done before blindly doing it?

Marriage in a nutshell for a man tbh...

 

[DrHackenbush]

Whats the point in even getting married if she won't take your name?

 

[levitate]

So a logical reason for your spouse not taking your last name is because of written research papers?

Best of luck to you fam..

Uhh...yeah?

PhD research on cutting-edge pharmaceutical drug development. She literally has people people in her field looking her up, reaching out to her, and referencing her work. Those potential connections would be lost had she changed her name.

I don’t believe in “luck”. But, thanks - we’re doing well.