Is it a sucker who accepts his wife doesnt have his surname or times have changed :

[levitate]

Marriage in a nutshell for a man tbh...

Taxation.

 

[Cereal_Bowl_Assassin]

I honestly don't care if she takes my name or not...the child on the other hand us a different case. I used to he 50/50 about the child inherenting the fathers last name because the woman does carry the child but since the father is the person that determines the sex of the child then its only right for the baby to have the fathers last name imo

 

[born of fire]

if i get a phd & publish things... i'm hyphenating. did way to much work to just toss it to the side

 

[born of fire]

Uhh...yeah?

PhD research on cutting-edge pharmaceutical drug development. She literally has people people in her field looking her up, reaching out to her, and referencing her work. Those potential connections would be lost had she changed her name.

I don’t believe in “luck”. But, thanks - we’re doing well.

this is exactly what i meant. you get it!

 

[Action Mike]

Mary Barra CEO of General Motors and the most powerful business executive in the US took her husbands name....

And if you go down any female power list for the majority its the same thing. In nearly all cultures that function, a woman joins a mans family. With no question.

Yet here we are having extra ordinary folks arguing about this? We're in a downward slide into a matriarchal community that hasn't benefited from becoming so, and were marriage is declining and isn't an easy sale...but adopting a family name to move as a unit is what some are against from the jump?

These women don't want husbands but want wives, that they'll end up resenting anyway. Twisted.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Land, that's it. I still havent changed that over yet, probably never will.

So you didn't even do all the paperwork yourself...do you see where I am going with this?

 

[devizelle]

The best news about conversations like this is that any man who demands I take their name is a man I would never want to be with in the first place. Everybody wins!

Pick me's are still keeping their husbands' last names? I didn't know that was a thing anymore. Most women I knew kept their names and added their husband's name. Hell, my best friend is Nigerian and married to a Nigerian man, and *she* didn't even change her name!

Precisely. People should do what works for their relationship.

 

[Maxine Shaw]

People get too tied up in the idea of the man as the leader of the house. None of that shyt needs to be stated. You both work together and lead in your own way.

You know how Tywin Lannister (Game of Thrones) said "Any man who must say, "I am the King", is no true king"? Same here. Any breh who has to keep screaming I AM THE HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD...isn't.

 

[jwall123]

Yeah I definitely agree that the two should operate as one team. And protecting each other when possible should definitely happen. Just growing up my father aways took this lead on most major things/decisions with the advice and support of my mother on everything also. They been together for awhile so I figure they gotta be doing something right.

No doubt, no doubt. That is the structure that worked for your parents. Since they agreed on that structure and work together, it makes sense. I never understand a man who says "follow my lead" and is not a leader. Some men don't have a strategy to move forward in life. As a woman, why would you follow that? They both should come together and and experience all the things together, working with one another to advance whatever goals they may have. No person should succumb to the roles involved in the "I am the man, I am the leader" stuff. You could simply be more effective by working together.

I do not personal stuff here but I will give an example from my life. My wife and I met in 2008. We have been together for 12 years (married 2.5yrs). During that time, my credit was shot due to students loan missed payments, collections, etc. My wife has always had great credit (because her parents set her up and she takes care of her bills). My credit was at mid 500 level. She and I devised a plan. I stuck to the plan and now my score is just under 750. I have about 80k in credit and 1% utilization. With her, I faced my credit and it worked out beautifully. Some people would keep that to themselves and bring the family unit down by having poor credit. Now we are buying a house and getting 2.6% interest. It is all about doing what works best for the unit.

 

[Luke Cage]

Marriage is a traditional union. If she doesn't want to follow tradition, it tells me she doesn't really want to get married. Because thats all it really is, a tradition. if you don't like the tradition, then we don't need to pretend.
we can still co habitate, have kids and file taxes jointly without walking down the aisle. You not gonna get a scarlet letter.

 

[King Poetic]

For me

a chick needs to have my last name, if not it the streets

 

[datnigDASTARDLY]

Speaking from personal observation because I know somebody is going to get emotional and quote me with some bs.

A woman who doesnt want to to take a man's last name thinks of dude as beta full stop. For all the disadvantages of marriage presented on here, its makes even less sense to go through with it and then pick and choose the parts. She wants to keep her name, but then wants every other benefit of marriage? Marriage is 'until death do us part.' But she doesnt want to fully commit? Why get married?

Bringing kids into it. Would an actual man let his kids have hyphenated names? Or her name? As a man you have to draw lines with all things in life that you dont agree with because if a woman can browbeat you into allowing the name deal, minus well start planning for that divorce.

Both are true.

My wife and I sat down and talked about our situation, one part based on the amount of time it takes, plus her profession...having to get all that shyt changed is a pain in the ass. And lastly, I had more pressing shyt to worry about at the time. We got to changing her name eventually, but the important part is it was 100% full disclosure between us.

Her cousin, however, was on some try hard shyt and wouldn't accept her husbands last name....ever. Hell, she don't even want to combine income, yet they hurt for money and always arguing.

The utter disrespect she shows that breh is damning, word to #GMB... Dude is soft af tho and deserves every ounce of ridicule

 

[BaileyPark31]

I'd rather hyphenated my name. Only because my last name ties me to my father..

However I'd change it if my husband insisted.

Actually I'd just add his name. Name would be long as hail, but oh well.

 

[BruhManFromTheFifthFlo]

Marriage is a traditional aspect of society. If you wanna play in traditional roles then you go all the way.
Besides, as many have pointed out; if she’s not taking your last name then she’s clearly not all the way in it and you share your wife. But go ahead and let nikkas like dude on the first page convince you otherwise

We will see you after ya divorce

#GMB

 

[DrBanneker]

Marriage is a traditional aspect of society. If you wanna play in traditional roles then you go all the way.
Besides, as many have pointed out; if she’s not taking your last name then she’s clearly not all the way in it and you share your wife. But go ahead and let nikkas like dude on the first page convince you otherwise

We will see you after ya divorce

#GMB

My wife took my name but hyphenated would have been fine with me though. I would not have been thrilled for her to not take my name at all and my children not having my surname was not even brought up (and would have been a no go for me).

Of course famous folks are an exception and Chinese women keep their maiden name by cultural default.

Almost all the Black folks married Black I know, professional or not, the woman took her husband's name and a few hyphenated.

Interestingly, almost all the Black women I know that kept their name are married to non-Black men.

@ThrobbingHood what your fiancee say?