Bu bu bu bu...twitter says good men don't exist.
Imagine being married to a woman who admits that you’re physically not her ideal man
- Thread starter Standing on business
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I understand where you’re coming fromFair enough.
Height isn't that big of a deal to me. In the grand scheme of life, being with a man for his height and height alone is something that never interested me. It doesn't even make sense.
I had no aspirations for marriage in my future, yet I became his wife fresh out of college because I saw value in our relationship.
Since we have talked it to death at this point, I'll say in many ways, my husband is the antithesis of the ideal I had. Perhaps this will clear this up.
I like "nerds". Always have. From the time I was old enough to notice the opposite sex, this always my preference. From all the guys I've liked over the years, only 2 were taller than 5'10. Most were my height, one was even shorter. What they all shared was they were extremely smart.
With regards to my spouse, he is my height, not taller. He is muscular, not thin and gangly; staying in shape is very important to him. He is not nerdy, bookish nor understated; actually, when he walks in a room, he grabs attention with ease. He laughs and smiles all the time; he is hardly ever stoic, if ever. He is very physically strong, but you might not think it to look at him. He has charming eyes and a bright smile that lights up a room. He has an array of life experience I myself lack, and with it, he has taught me, and uses it to protect myself and our children..
Does this sound like someone I settled for...because he wasn't 5'10 or 6'2?
Come on now
Just like my name on here says, I am a square. Always have been. I found equally square guys attractive...yet, I married someone who is my complete opposite and has the style, swag and groundedness I lack. But I settled and he ought to be resentful...because he knew I liked guys taller than him?
Him being that height never stopped him from getting women before getting with me and it didn't stop me from finding him attractive either.
Based off what you said you’re marriage seems fine but it’s a fact that most relationships and marriages fail. And most wives believe they settled. Being physically attracted to your partner is important to
So a comment like In The OP is a red flag because it makes it seem you’re not physically attracted to him
I know if i was ABC and my girl said she preferred XYZ but still liked me for other qualities, I’d dub her.
I want to be with someone who likes me for me not someone who likes me despite of XYZ and I think most men agree with me. Why be in a relationship with someone not attracted to you, that’s Bad for both parties IMO
1LurkerChick9
All Star
Fair enough.
Height isn't that big of a deal to me. In the grand scheme of life, being with a man for his height and height alone is something that never interested me. It doesn't even make sense.
I had no aspirations for marriage in my future, yet I became his wife fresh out of college because I saw value in our relationship.
Since we have talked it to death at this point, I'll say in many ways, my husband is the antithesis of the ideal I had. Perhaps this will clear this up.
I like "nerds". Always have. From the time I was old enough to notice the opposite sex, this always my preference. From all the guys I've liked over the years, only 2 were taller than 5'10. Most were my height, one was even shorter. What they all shared was they were extremely smart.
With regards to my spouse, he is my height, not taller. He is muscular, not thin and gangly; staying in shape is very important to him. He is not nerdy, bookish nor understated; actually, when he walks in a room, he grabs attention with ease. He laughs and smiles all the time; he is hardly ever stoic, if ever. He is very physically strong, but you might not think it to look at him. He has charming eyes and a bright smile that lights up a room. He has an array of life experience I myself lack, and with it, he has taught me, and uses it to protect myself and our children..
Does this sound like someone I settled for...because he wasn't 5'10 or 6'2?
Come on now
Just like my name on here says, I am a square. Always have been. I found equally square guys attractive...yet, I married someone who is my complete opposite and has the style, swag and groundedness I lack. But I settled and he ought to be resentful...because he knew I liked guys taller than him?
Him being that height never stopped him from getting women before getting with me and it didn't stop me from finding him attractive either.
Anyone whose been in a serious relationship knows what you mean. I'm seriously laughing at these comments, it's so obvious many of them lack relationship experience
I also have never had a height requirement. I've dated taller ,shorter, same height and my current is shorter. He's the best guy I ever dated hands down. I love his short ass
They probably don't understand that you can be short and still attractive and just want to wallow in their self pity. Love yourself brehs
Why do people do this? Nobody is out there marrying Jason Mamoa, Idris Elba and Ashanti clones. Most people get with regular degular normal people like themselves. That's b/c what it takes to make a relationship work goes waaaaaaaaayyyy beyond looks.
Somebody can look good but be dumb as fukk, sukk in bed, not be relationship material, be dysfunctional as fukk. You end up with somebody u feel, who feels u that u can grow with.
I will say that recent generations have become way more shallow these days and in our community, AA self-esteem is so low that people feel like they gotta have dymes to prove their self-worth. Meanwhile nobody is thinking about whether the person is a good person or relationship material. Getting a GOOD PERSON who may not look like ur fantasy isn't settling. It's called growing up.
B/c chances are the fantasy ain't as good as u think they are anyway.
Somebody can look good but be dumb as fukk, sukk in bed, not be relationship material, be dysfunctional as fukk. You end up with somebody u feel, who feels u that u can grow with.
I will say that recent generations have become way more shallow these days and in our community, AA self-esteem is so low that people feel like they gotta have dymes to prove their self-worth. Meanwhile nobody is thinking about whether the person is a good person or relationship material. Getting a GOOD PERSON who may not look like ur fantasy isn't settling. It's called growing up.
B/c chances are the fantasy ain't as good as u think they are anyway.
I'm a dime so I better get a dime
Im sure you did:Keyword is "perhaps".As the child ofman her husband proved she didnt really know what she wanted or how a womans mind works. Salute to the husband for for guiding her in the right direction.When you meet a woman you just need to make the p*ssy jump and nature will take its course from there. Dont worry about shyt else,get out of your head,just make the p*ssy jump
One person's dime is somebody else's penny.
Just make sure they are your match. Everything that glitters...
Elle Seven
Superstar
I understand where you’re coming from
Based off what you said you’re marriage seems fine but it’s a fact that most relationships and marriages fail. And most wives believe they settled. Being physically attracted to your partner is important to
So a comment like In The OP is a red flag because it makes it seem you’re not physically attracted to him
I know if i was ABC and my girl said she preferred XYZ but still liked me for other qualities, I’d dub her.
Why be in a relationship with someone not attracted to you, that’s Bad for both parties IMO
That's the thing. I only said my husband was not 5'10. If someone could point me to where I explicitly said "a man must be x height in order for me to consider him", I'd certainly appreciate it. Perhaps I wrote something that betrayed me I do not remember.
Interestingly enough,I never said he wasn't attractive though. How do posters keep arriving at this conclusion? Can someone point me to this post, or am I merely arguing against the deductions of others?
When I say I found a multitude of other things attractive, I am believed to be lying. When I say I am with the man I truly want, I am thought to be lying even more...because he is 3 inches shorter than what I find attractive.
However, an entire thread was made off an assumption and the progression of it all has been astounding.
I just hate when stuff doesn't make sense. I'm a stickler for logic, I guess.
TaxCollector13459
2018 Coli Rookie of the Year
Elle Driver
Veteran
Thought it was Durango.
I Really Mean It
Veteran
Most people are probably married to significant others who aren't their physical ideal. Love isn't a Hollywood movie. 
Y’all think Jay z was Beyoncé type physically?
ThrobbingHood
Breh&Breh Associates™
I think his wallet and status was her type. Nothing wrong with that.
Eternally Jaded
Superstar
This type of thread only reinforces the need for both people in the relationship to be their best selves, physically, mentally, financially and emotionally.
You can't worry about the phantom nikka, chick who might come along. You can't control that person's movements or atmosphere.
All you can do, is make sure you yourself are top shelf, and let the chips fall where they will.
Be your best self, and if your significant other disrespects you by stepping out, be your best self by yourself.
If she/he quality, even tho they might see physical "perfection", if they're smart they won't risk everything for a maybe.
This "supernikka, superdime gonna getcha" scariness is ruining relationships these days.
Be better than that.
You can't worry about the phantom nikka, chick who might come along. You can't control that person's movements or atmosphere.
All you can do, is make sure you yourself are top shelf, and let the chips fall where they will.
Be your best self, and if your significant other disrespects you by stepping out, be your best self by yourself.
If she/he quality, even tho they might see physical "perfection", if they're smart they won't risk everything for a maybe.
This "supernikka, superdime gonna getcha" scariness is ruining relationships these days.
Be better than that.