If you are over 35, why are you single?

[cocoabutter27]

See you women approach the shyt wrong. It's at least different than how we (men) approach things

You women want to be married and spend your life searching for someone you feel is compatible and who'll marry you and whoever it is you'll somehow "learn to love him" and make it work. That's why you all says things like "relationships takes work" and go from "I want a 6'8 baller who knows how to dress etc..." In your twenties to "ok, as long as he's not shorter than me and loves me for me" by your mid thirties OR if that's the dude that proposes first. You want that ring no matter what package it eventually comes in.

We (men) tend to take the opposite or different' approach. We want and look for someone we love and that works for us and we'll marry them if that's what it'll take to keep her.

Relationships DO take work, but most women marry someone they love. The married women I know (including myself) didn't just settle. They looked at it from what you stated was a man's perspective. Desperate women/men settle or give up.

 

[cocoabutter27]

I’m just Picky in the type of woman I want.


But I’m not that attractive either so it’s a double problem.

Attractive is always subjective. Do you approach women confidently? Picky in how the women look, act, what exactly?

 

[ORDER_66]

So what could a woman do to get some of your time?

Uhhhhh it's hard to say...

I'm a busy guy, so having a few things in common would help. I'm kind of a nerd so scifi, action movies, kung fu, cars, politics. I am a virtual cornucopia of many things. Alot of times women don't have any outside interests that intersects with mine. I don't watch love and hip hop or much reality tv. I'm not into much music nowadays cause it's corny. But also now that I've aged I find myself wanting to accomplish my goals more than ever you know. You cannot bring nothing to the table anymore. I think for alot of men women need to bring more than just sex now. You gotta have brains, common sense, some sexiness but a little ambition doesnt hurt. Also having respect for what a man is doing goes a long way. If you not on board to help me accomplish my dreams and goals and mock them, your mocking me. Alot of dudes have these chicks clowning on them. I'm like...

All in all that's who I am.

 

[QuintessentialMan]

Maybe they are scared of it going South and thus losing all that time and money.
Maybe they're afraid of commitment subconsciously.
Maybe there are things they are not telling you.
Maybe they're already in a set routine and just cant adapt so every potential partner fixxles out.
Maybe they're thinking I need a house first or a 2nd car first or this amount of money first, alot of people are like that, just cant pull the trigger
Maybe they're playing for the other team
Maybe they're waiting till 36 because they think thats the best time
maybe they dont want kids and a marriage usually means kids so..... ehh

 

[King Jae]

Just got out of a bad marriage...aint in no rush to get into another one just to be married...learned a lot about what I want and don't want...that societal pressure don't matter..not gonna get married again until its right..don't care if I don't get married again...just have girlfriends...it aint the be all end all of life like ppl make it to be...she gotta be some kind of special for me to jump the broom again...

 

[mbewane]

They're probably just used to doing things their way and like it like that. With relationships you have to accommodate a whole new person. Some folks can't do that.

This is basically me, I mean I've been on my own since like I was 15 (left home, very few friends) so at some point you just have your "alone" routine. Neither good or bad, it's just what it is. So obviously I end up meeting fewer women, of which fewer women I like, of which fewer women that like me and even at that point she might just stop answering texts out of the blue (happened to me just a couple months ago). Add in shyness/low self-esteem, and there it is.

Also to be totally honest, the current climate and speaking with various female friends, as a man you know that damn near anything that goes wrong/is complicated in a relationship is gonna be "the man's fault". So obviously you think twice before getting in a relationship. With my two exes it was exactly that, so I had tons of pressure to be there for them, listen to them, console them whenever, etc etc etc...and they still complained and blamed me for the most random stuff. One female friend of mine was honest enough to admit that while she could indeed say those girls were stupid for doing that, she did the exact same thing with her boyfriend

 

[intruder]

Relationships DO take work, but most women marry someone they love learned to love. The married women I know (including myself) didn't just settle. They looked at it from what you stated was a man's perspective. Desperate women/men settle or give up.

Fixed

 

[SchrodingersStrapped!]

Financial security.


At 35 I can only imagine the existential clarity....


Seeing the game for what it is....

 

[cocoabutter27]

Uhhhhh it's hard to say...

I'm a busy guy, so having a few things in common would help. I'm kind of a nerd so scifi, action movies, kung fu, cars, politics. I am a virtual cornucopia of many things. Alot of times women don't have any outside interests that intersects with mine. I don't watch love and hip hop or much reality tv. I'm not into much music nowadays cause it's corny. But also now that I've aged I find myself wanting to accomplish my goals more than ever you know. You cannot bring nothing to the table anymore. I think for alot of men women need to bring more than just sex now. You gotta have brains, common sense, some sexiness but a little ambition doesnt hurt. Also having respect for what a man is doing goes a long way. If you not on board to help me accomplish my dreams and goals and mock them, your mocking me. Alot of dudes have these chicks clowning on them. I'm like...

All in all that's who I am.

Thanks for that response!

 

[MikelArteta]

Financial security.


At 35 I can only imagine the existential clarity....


Seeing the game for what it is....

Financial security is a mirage, you can be injured on the job or lose your job and have nothing once your savings max out.

 

[Mr. McDowell]

There is something to be said about living a simple life on your terms. I have no interest in compromising based on other people's desires.

 

[Wiles]

If a man don't have no problems smashing females

Why get tied down in a relationship

This but simps will deny and say thr is only one p*ssy in the world.

 

[SchrodingersStrapped!]

Financial security is a mirage, you can be injured on the job or lose your job and have nothing once your savings max out.

Sure ....but less people drawing from the well was kind of the point there.....theoretically your earning potential should be going up as well.....

 

[Dad]

was married once, not in a rush to repeat it again.

 

[ImGucci]

I'm 32 about to be 33, my issue is I don't find a lot of black women in my field. Or in my work circle, I work in advertising and its a mostly white field.
And I'm not trying to marry a White woman, the club scene is not a thing anymore since most of my homies are too tired from work or in a relationship, most of my homies have married or started a kid out of thier race which I think is sad Not even Latina, my best friend from college just got his white gf pregnant and I think he;s going to marry her.


My only option for meeting a black queen is by luck, or online dating, and these women in online dating be having their heads in the clouds. I get so many many messages from females on match, who get upset if you call them sexy , like bitcchhh why did you like my pic , and you want to have a convo on some deep emotional level when all I can go by is your looks