If you are over 35, why are you single?

[Commish]

This is getting mind-boggling to me. And this question is ONLY for people who don't want to be. Not the GMB crew . I have male and female friends over 35 who are attractive, intelligent, kind, don't have kids, are settled in their careers, have homes, cars...I mean I don't get it. I have introduced some of the males to the females ...ummmm that didn't work though. I know everyone has quirks, but these men and women are sane and have healthy self-esteem. Could just be the timing in their lives or something else. Why do you think you're single?

I am single mostly by choice. I choose to be single because I refuse to settle.1

This is getting mind-boggling to me. And this question is ONLY for people who don't want to be. Not the GMB crew . I have male and female friends over 35 who are attractive, intelligent, kind, don't have kids, are settled in their careers, have homes, cars...I mean I don't get it. I have introduced some of the males to the females ...ummmm that didn't work though. I know everyone has quirks, but these men and women are sane and have healthy self-esteem. Could just be the timing in their lives or something else. Why do you think you're single?

People choose to be single. Their reasons may vary, but being single should not taint someone's worth or desirability.

As someone who is middle aged, singlehood works for me. Dating isn't as pleasant as it should be and I decided to fall back and take care of me before getting back into the game.

I may go into detail about my situation depending on mood and whether the person inquiring about my reasons isn't going to make accusations and be disrespectful.

In conclusion, choice and timing are key factors. When it is meant to be, then it will be when it is supposed to be.

 

[TNOT]

Y'all nikkas need to go ahead and settle and get it over with.

 

[The Fade]

Cool to see dudes in this thread not scared of dying alone and working in their dreams. Don't cuff just to cuff or cuz of societal pressure

 

[Eddie_1100]

I thought it dropped already

If it had this place would be a ghost town

 

[intruder]

This is getting mind-boggling to me. And this question is ONLY for people who don't want to be. Not the GMB crew . I have male and female friends over 35 who are attractive, intelligent, kind, don't have kids, are settled in their careers, have homes, cars...I mean I don't get it. I have introduced some of the males to the females ...ummmm that didn't work though. I know everyone has quirks, but these men and women are sane and have healthy self-esteem. Could just be the timing in their lives or something else. Why do you think you're single?

See you women approach the shyt wrong. It's at least different than how we (men) approach things

You women want to be married and spend your life searching for someone you feel is compatible and who'll marry you and whoever it is you'll somehow "learn to love "him and make it work. That's why you all says things like "relationships takes work" and go from "I want a 6'8 baller who knows how to dress etc..." In your twenties to "ok, as long as he's not shorter than me and loves me for me" by your mid thirties OR if that's the dude that proposes first. You want that ring no matter what package it eventually comes in.

We (men) tend to take the opposite or different' approach. We want and look for someone we love and that works for us and we'll marry them if that's what it'll take to keep her.

 

[cocoabutter27]

For a lot of people (I'd venture to say most?), their careers/jobs hold them back from a blossoming social life in general.

I partially agree, but then a lot of people met their husband/wife at work. Very convenient obviously. I told a few of them that finding a significant other does take energy and a fair amount of work.

 

[cocoabutter27]

My mom told me the other day i was too picky

Guess social media and youtube has my mind warped

You aren't alone. Women and men need to balance their expectations WITHOUT feeling like they are settling.

 

[cocoabutter27]

I almost had a baby with my ex and when I decided to do it her whole personality changed (she didn't get pregnant, but we tried). It made me look at woman and marriage different after that. I wanted to wait until we were more financially stable (she had debt too), she wanted to have one right away and figure it out as we go. Don't know if I will ever get married, might have a kid in the future. Some of these women expect everything from you and bring nothing to the table so some people just feel like they have to chose wisely. The divorce rate is higher now too so if it doesn't work out and you are a man everything will be in her favor (alimony, kids, etc). Then there is a fact that some people come from single parent households so they can see first hand what happens if it doesn't work out.

What would you like a woman to bring to the table? I think a job, vehicle and her own place are the bare minimum for people. What do you need to maybe feel ready?

 

[cocoabutter27]

I almost had a baby with my ex and when I decided to do it her whole personality changed (she didn't get pregnant, but we tried). It made me look at woman and marriage different after that. I wanted to wait until we were more financially stable (she had debt too), she wanted to have one right away and figure it out as we go. Don't know if I will ever get married, might have a kid in the future. Some of these women expect everything from you and bring nothing to the table so some people just feel like they have to chose wisely. The divorce rate is higher now too so if it doesn't work out and you are a man everything will be in her favor (alimony, kids, etc). Then there is a fact that some people come from single parent households so they can see first hand what happens if it doesn't work out.

Double

 

[cocoabutter27]

Too busy focusing on my work, my day job. my dreams of working in hollywood having my own media company... graphic novels, video games, merchandise... I feel my time is valuable and I don't have much of it to waste... women take up alot of your time emotionally and mentally.

So what could a woman do to get some of your time?

 

[Anerdyblackguy]

I’m just Picky in the type of woman I want.


But I’m not that attractive either so it’s a double problem.

 

[cocoabutter27]

35 speaking here and I'm a keep it 100. I have to work on myself first before I think about any woman. I don't date/put myself out there. It's not much out here that garners my interest.

I like women I find interesting & attractive at the same time but it's just a lot of variables to it, and being attractive alone isn't going to win me over. Also, I don't believe in settling just for anyone.

I feel a lot of people need to work on themselves before getting with others. Glad you recognize that... people need to be really self aware to have good relationships.

 

[cocoabutter27]

got 3 businesses now so i have to split my time now between seattle and sf so i dont know what woman would put up with 2 weeks in WA and 2 weeks in cali for now.

kind of odd seeing how SF really handed me a defeat but now im back as a champ.

now im very shy around women as I don't know how to let someone in who can really be with me and not hurt me. so i act very quiet and aloof around women but strangely enough that draws them in

Is that self-esteem talking? Bad experience? Relationships take courage, that's for sure. I think they are worth the risk though.

 

[cocoabutter27]

I aint to this point yet but I can see it happening. My longest relationship close to a year but that ain't really that long if u think about it. I loved her or thought I did but it didn't work out, I was hurting but then I got over it and looked at myself in the mirror like

because if I can get over her that quickly then it probably wasn't really love at all.

someone else will come along. And we rationalize things when we are hurt to feel better. Doesn't mean we didn't love....

 

[cocoabutter27]

I am single mostly by choice. I choose to be single because I refuse to settle.1


People choose to be single. Their reasons may vary, but being single should not taint someone's worth or desirability.

As someone who is middle aged, singlehood works for me. Dating isn't as pleasant as it should be and I decided to fall back and take care of me before getting back into the game.

I may go into detail about my situation depending on mood and whether the person inquiring about my reasons isn't going to make accusations and be disrespectful.

In conclusion, choice and timing are key factors. When it is meant to be, then it will be when it is supposed to be.

Right, wasn't saying that. The people I am talking about don't think that...just tired of waiting. They feel like it's never gonna happen for them. I tell them the same thing about happening when it should, but some days I question when it will happen for them.