If you are over 35, why are you single?

[cocoabutter27]

Got a friend who is going on 38...she told me the other day 'being a strong independent woman is getting old'



Got a homie from college...37....makes 6 figures a year BEFORE bonuses, home - 2 cars and travels out of the USA at least 2-3 times a year. He's running through young and old ladies at a blinding pace in the last month he's brought 6 different over for dinner with me and my wife

So is he looking to get married or stay single? I think for a lot of women and men..they get tired of just running through folks, even if they can easily.

 

[cocoabutter27]

Your friends feel that way because marriage, for women, is a major GOAL in life. THey have been programmed to feel that way since birth. So when they go through 10,15 of their prime years (ages of 20-35) and it hasnt happened they start feeling like they have failed to reach one f their primary goals in life.

On the other hand, men tend to view marriage as a "LIFE EVENT" or a "SACRIFICE/COST". Not a Goal. We get married because marriage is what it's gonna take to keep that woman we want to be with. If we could be with her without being married we would. But we know thats what she wants and until we do it she'll never be happy. So in order to keep her happy we marry her.

So When we (men) get married we're doing it FOR YOU. It's our gift TO YOU to KEEP YOU and KEEP YOU HAPPY.

Dont get me wrong there are men out there who get married because they dont wanna be alone too. But the majority get married because they, at the time, couldnt see themselves without said woman they love and they only way to lock her in is marrying her.

So men are doing women a favor by marrying the woman they love?

 

[The Fade]

She just had this look on her face like she got me. Like it was a game she won. I felt like she only wanted the baby and she didn't really care about the relationship. That shyt hurt man. I gave in cause everyone I knew had a kid already and felt like I had to do it cause my mom always tells me she wants grand kids. We broke up in April (stopped sleeping together in Dec).

This is what I'm trying to avoid.

 

[Serious]

Not over 35 or over 30 yet but I can second this

Too much money to be made out chere

 

[intruder]

So men are doing women a favor by marrying the woman they love?

No. It's the PRICE we pay, the sacrifice we must make for the woman we love.

Dont't get smart trying to put words in my mouth

 

[Serious]

Constant sex and companionship is all it is some days. People have to be okay with routine. I had a girlfriend who grew up in an abusive household. Her mom verbally, emotionally and physically abused her daughters. Her dad would try to calm her down and then gave up and would go for a drive because his wife would abuse him as well. Anyway, my friend associated drama with love. All her relationships were like that. Her first husband was a cheater and abuser. When she finally divorced him and met her now second husband, she constantly tried to pick fights. She planned on breaking up with him multiple times because "he won't argue with me". Told her to stop being silly and settle down and let him love her. She finally got with the program and they have been married about 5 years now...she is deliriously happy. She is highly intelligent, but definitely had to adjust her idea of normal.

Glad to see women finally admitting that they like to argue over bs

 

[Cynic]

So men are doing women a favor by marrying the woman they love?

Marriage has nothing to do with love ... it's a business contract

 

[Cynic]

She just had this look on her face like she got me. Like it was a game she won. I felt like she only wanted the baby and she didn't really care about the relationship. That shyt hurt man. I gave in cause everyone I knew had a kid already and felt like I had to do it cause my mom always tells me she wants grand kids. We broke up in April (stopped sleeping together in Dec).

Not enough people talk about this.
Mothers are still women and can be selfish so you got ya girl and ya moms pressuring you .

My own is hitting me with the grandkids talk and I told her IVF is still available if she wants toddlers

 

[intruder]

Marriage has nothing to do with love ... it's a business contract

It SHOULD NOT but in most cases it does because people love one another and wanna be together and decide to use said love as an anchor to the marriage.

But how old are you and why are you single, @cocoabutter27 ? If you already answered that question feel free to link me to the post.

 

[Tom Foolery]

This is getting mind-boggling to me. And this question is ONLY for people who don't want to be. Not the GMB crew . I have male and female friends over 35 who are attractive, intelligent, kind, don't have kids, are settled in their careers, have homes, cars...I mean I don't get it. I have introduced some of the males to the females ...ummmm that didn't work though. I know everyone has quirks, but these men and women are sane and have healthy self-esteem. Could just be the timing in their lives or something else. Why do you think you're single?

Not over 35 yet, but I'll be straight with you. 30+ is too late to play matchmaker for people, unless they are desperate.

Why were you not introducing these good women to good men while they are in their 20's?

You're bringing these people way too late to the dance. Trying to make up for lost time on the back end.





Now be honest with me here:
What were the men's dating history like
and what were the women's dating history like?

 

[Cynic]

It SHOULD NOT but in most cases it does because people love one another and wanna be together and decide to use said love as an anchor to the marriage.

But how old are you and why are you single, @cocoabutter27 ? If you already answered that question feel free to link me to the post.

You can't use "love" in divorce proceedings



Word to my username ​

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

This is getting mind-boggling to me. And this question is ONLY for people who don't want to be. Not the GMB crew . I have male and female friends over 35 who are attractive, intelligent, kind, don't have kids, are settled in their careers, have homes, cars...I mean I don't get it. I have introduced some of the males to the females ...ummmm that didn't work though. I know everyone has quirks, but these men and women are sane and have healthy self-esteem. Could just be the timing in their lives or something else. Why do you think you're single?

Honestly dating someone and knowing them is sooo completely different things. A lot of people look great on paper but are bat shyt crazy, dirty or insecure. shyt is hard to cope with that shyt especially if you have your owe shyt going on.

 

[Ghost Utmost]

Just be with someone who is equally yoked to you in all areas, especially when it comes to Finance. If all you have is looks, than all I have for you is The D. If you coming with way more than that(looks, education, career, money, great personality), than we can talk marriage(with a prenup)

Prenup = we may be getting divorced soon

So therefore, you're wasting your time.

Marriage is for two super gung ho people who know for sure they want to be together. Forever.

If you are 99% sure then you are wasting your time.

99% doesn't heal up and become 100%. It becomes 95%.

90%

75%

Until you admit that you're not feeling it anymore.

So unless you know in your bones that this is it, don't bother.

 

[RebelX]

They didn't prioritize or they don't want to "settle" for someone on their level

 

[BrokePhiBroke]

Uhhhhh it's hard to say...

I'm a busy guy, so having a few things in common would help. I'm kind of a nerd so scifi, action movies, kung fu, cars, politics. I am a virtual cornucopia of many things. Alot of times women don't have any outside interests that intersects with mine. I don't watch love and hip hop or much reality tv. I'm not into much music nowadays cause it's corny. But also now that I've aged I find myself wanting to accomplish my goals more than ever you know. You cannot bring nothing to the table anymore. I think for alot of men women need to bring more than just sex now. You gotta have brains, common sense, some sexiness but a little ambition doesnt hurt. Also having respect for what a man is doing goes a long way. If you not on board to help me accomplish my dreams and goals and mock them, your mocking me. Alot of dudes have these chicks clowning on them. I'm like...

All in all that's who I am.

Rep