Good movie, but the last five minutes is some Hollywood bs
yeah, was embarrassing actually
I just watched Marriage Story on Netflix...
- Thread starter semicko82
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yeah, was embarrassing actually
Seeing two people tear themselves apart over shyt they could have worked thru affected me tremendously. Namely they were dealing with his ego, her lack of communication skills and psuedovictimhood.
Add the lawyers and it’s a completely unnecessary clusterfukk.
First off both of them were right and wrong. She was feeling resentment and a loss of identity from being an extension of her man instead of an actual autonomous being which is SO common with women in marriage. That’s where so many men fukk up. So much of that hit home for me b/c I’ve been in that situation and seen women go thru that my entire life. It’s a very dark place to be in and terrifying and depressing.
But instead of communicating how she felt, she allowed her resentment to make her shut down and shut him out.
I felt bad for the husband b/c he honestly had no clue what the fukk he was doing wrong. And how can u fix something when u don’t even know what the problem is. But he fukked up b/c when she tried to explain he would cut her off or disparage her or ridicule her which obviously plays a role in making it harder for her to communicate her needs to him. His ego and arrogance was his worse enemy.
By the time he was ready to humor her and listen to her in counseling, it was too late. She was mentally checked out. And confirming his cheating took stuff over the top and all but ensured that she was NOT gonna be cool parting amicably.
I think the argument was so hurtful but the most cathartic part of their relationship b/c you can’t fix things until you reach that point of PURE honesty.
That’s when they were at their MOST purest honest selves with each other. He felt like he was better than she was. She knew that, went along with it fooling herself that it would be or should be enough. When he started telling her she should be grateful b/c he had given up on all the p*ssy for her, it let her truly confirm her worth in his eyes.
If she had stayed he would never seen her value. The look of shock on his face when she said she was a director. There’s nothing worse than somebody not acknowledging ur potential. And to raise a family and see that person day in and day out and lay down next to them everyday...It’s grueling.
So on one hand a lot of this shyt could have been avoided. But on the other hand, I think they had to go thru this process to grow...just without the costly divorce. He needed to confront her with that bullshyt to let her know it’s unacceptable to punish somebody u claim to love for a problem you don’t even have the courage to articulate. Meanwhile, he had to know that he was being a hypocritical, overbearing a$$hole whose disdain for her as an inferior was written into the fabric of every decision made in their relationship. Her leaving taught him her value. And also taught herself what she was capable of. I just wish they’d acknowledged more of her character flaws with communication. I’m unsure if she has learned what she needed to learn from this which is how to open ur mouth and use ur damn words without flying off the handle or shutting down. shyt was irritating. It’s obvious they still love each other and might even get back together in the future.
But it didn’t sit well with me that her character didn’t take accountability for her communication issues. He is making amends and even moving to Cali and ultimately repented by having his entire life uprooted. She hasn’t evolved from this process to me which isn’t satisfying.
As for acting, he was light-years ahead of her to me. And I agree with @Nicole0416 about the female lawyer. When she broke that shyt down about motherhood, I was like DAYUM!
Overall I give it a 8/10.
Add the lawyers and it’s a completely unnecessary clusterfukk.
First off both of them were right and wrong. She was feeling resentment and a loss of identity from being an extension of her man instead of an actual autonomous being which is SO common with women in marriage. That’s where so many men fukk up. So much of that hit home for me b/c I’ve been in that situation and seen women go thru that my entire life. It’s a very dark place to be in and terrifying and depressing.
But instead of communicating how she felt, she allowed her resentment to make her shut down and shut him out.
I felt bad for the husband b/c he honestly had no clue what the fukk he was doing wrong. And how can u fix something when u don’t even know what the problem is. But he fukked up b/c when she tried to explain he would cut her off or disparage her or ridicule her which obviously plays a role in making it harder for her to communicate her needs to him. His ego and arrogance was his worse enemy.
By the time he was ready to humor her and listen to her in counseling, it was too late. She was mentally checked out. And confirming his cheating took stuff over the top and all but ensured that she was NOT gonna be cool parting amicably.
I think the argument was so hurtful but the most cathartic part of their relationship b/c you can’t fix things until you reach that point of PURE honesty.
That’s when they were at their MOST purest honest selves with each other. He felt like he was better than she was. She knew that, went along with it fooling herself that it would be or should be enough. When he started telling her she should be grateful b/c he had given up on all the p*ssy for her, it let her truly confirm her worth in his eyes.
If she had stayed he would never seen her value. The look of shock on his face when she said she was a director. There’s nothing worse than somebody not acknowledging ur potential. And to raise a family and see that person day in and day out and lay down next to them everyday...It’s grueling.
So on one hand a lot of this shyt could have been avoided. But on the other hand, I think they had to go thru this process to grow...just without the costly divorce. He needed to confront her with that bullshyt to let her know it’s unacceptable to punish somebody u claim to love for a problem you don’t even have the courage to articulate. Meanwhile, he had to know that he was being a hypocritical, overbearing a$$hole whose disdain for her as an inferior was written into the fabric of every decision made in their relationship. Her leaving taught him her value. And also taught herself what she was capable of. I just wish they’d acknowledged more of her character flaws with communication. I’m unsure if she has learned what she needed to learn from this which is how to open ur mouth and use ur damn words without flying off the handle or shutting down. shyt was irritating. It’s obvious they still love each other and might even get back together in the future.
But it didn’t sit well with me that her character didn’t take accountability for her communication issues. He is making amends and even moving to Cali and ultimately repented by having his entire life uprooted. She hasn’t evolved from this process to me which isn’t satisfying.
As for acting, he was light-years ahead of her to me. And I agree with @Nicole0416 about the female lawyer. When she broke that shyt down about motherhood, I was like DAYUM!
Overall I give it a 8/10.
Lol thxDap and rep, you ever thought about being a movie critic
At this point I’m a marriage critic...
On the real tho it just really underscored to me as a female to use ur words. Chicks be playing perpetual victim, ready to shoot somebody, never experiencing orgasms, just taking shyt and hating people instead of communicating and confronting shyt.
My friend and I LITERALLY had this conversation a couple of days ago at a park.
Communication is everything.
Dallas' 4 Eva
Superstar
@Booksnrain I pinpointed what their problem was through the dialogue, they got married way too young. She constantly mentioned how she never figured out who she was as a person, and when he brought up all the p*ssy he passed up on in his 20s it all clicked to me. They got married far too young, they both needed to live a little bit first.
That too! And he told her SHE pushed for it so quick which is something a LOT of chicks are always guilty of even when it’s not good for anybody.
Dallas' 4 Eva
Superstar
Yup and I mean I don't think she thought things through. He directs plays, everyone knows the place you wanna be to do that is in NYC, why would he want to move to LA, he clearly had no interest in television or movies. Getting the lawyer was over the top too, she expected him to still be amicable, once you bring the law into anything civility goes out the window.
He didn't listen though. She may have communication issues, but when she did finally start communicating he would disregard it. She doesn't communicate with any type of conviction which is why he always just looked at it as a regular conversation between them. This marriage wasn't that bad though(even his 'cheating' came after she had put him on the couch and the shyt was pretty much done), thry EASILY could of fixed this, but they both got married too young and honestly were acting childish as hell to each other and just about everyone else which is why the judge treated them the way he did.
Oooooh that’s another theme...thinking somebody is gonna change for u. Ur right. And a lot of chicks do that too. They go along with the flow thinking they can change somebody. Which is another characteristic of being too young to make rash decisions.
I feel u. U can tell the love is still there but they were being childish.
Goat poster
KANG LIFE
Best movie I’ve seen this year.
Love the reviews/analysis in this thread.
Guys
Love the reviews/analysis in this thread.
Guys
This is SUCH, a good summary. Wow, Books!!!!! What a dope write up. I felt this so much -I don’t like feelings or feeling too much
No but on the real- truer words beautifully spoken off your post.
I’m the type to shut down and emotionally check out when I feel like what I’m contributing is not reciprocated. There’s only so much talking that I will do - so what you said (and Scar Jo’s role) about internalizing and restricting contact is a coping mechanism - way to protect. This is the first romance/drama that I’ve seen in years- no exaggeration. I’m all for horror movies, mystery or documentary/historical period movies so even watching this was so far outside my comfort zone. But this movie almost forces us to analyze and evaluate past situations and self reflection. I remember exes of mine saying that I don’t talk enough about how I feel when it comes to interpersonal intimate relationships - that they’re used to females breaking down or overly communicating. But I’m like this - I’ll tell how I feel and expect it to be received for how it is. I’m not begging anyone to understand how I feel or repeating myself over and over. It’s counterproductive. If a person really cares - they will know or comprehend. If they don’t - then it’s not meant to be and move on. I know other environmental factors and situations contributed to how I move but I don’t like wasting time and I hate conflict in relationships. If we can’t resolve within the right boundaries, then instead of continuing in the cycle. I’m out. Rather not deal, there’s enough negativity outside the home to deal with. That’s why I relate to her lawyer in this and Scar Jo as far as “enough is enough”, i don’t like the selfishness especially when I’m with someone, I’ll be totally selfless. it’s sad but necessary to move on and find contentment within, if that what it comes down to. Focus on other Ish- like how the women became established in their careers. If there’s an impasse in a relationship, then it’s either they have reached the point of no return or work it out.
Idk - Do you think that’s too harsh? I’m about conflict avoidance in my personal life bc I deal with conflict resolution and risk avoidance at work, with family members, kids lol; therefore I’m like F coming home and dealing with more of the same from a S.O. that is there to provide comfort/companionship. I just want to come home to my S.O. , laugh, talk about real talk ( news, current events, life.. ) hang out. I hate relationship complications and if it starts becoming more of a burden than beneficial - I don’t see the point of complaining about it, rather just close off and not deal.
Clash of egos and lack of maturity.
I think dude had serious control
Issues - for the first time he had no control over her or her decisions. Her hiring the lawyer was her first decision outside of him - that’s why she was so obsessed about serving him the papers at her mother’s house (lmao- that scene with her sister was hilarious btw) and he was in pure denial about how serious she felt.
Facts to both. 20s is way too young to be making life defining and altering decisions. If I had it over again - I would never have been in a serious relationship right after college. Too much, too soon. After 31- is usually more realistic, your world view is different , establishing the foundation for career and life goals. Interesting to see the stats on people who get married in their 20s and divorced or in dysfunctional situations, maxed out at 35-45. About 80% of people that I know are dealing with that who were married early. Worst thing to do is get married when either person is not ready or men feeling pressured by women in a rush to get married bc it’s status quo or time constraints. I felt pressured by my man, my man’s mother, my mother, following behind him and what he wanted to - needless to say, it didn’t work bc I just ended up feeling very resentful and unfulfilled.
I’m like that too. I’ll shut down completely. If anybody knew my exes they’d tell u I’ll do anything to avoid an argument. I HATE arguing.This is SUCH, a good summary. Wow, Books!!!!! What a dope write up. I felt this so much -I don’t like feelings or feeling too much
No but on the real- truer words beautifully spoken off your post.
I’m the type to shut down and emotionally check out when I feel like what I’m contributing is not reciprocated. There’s only so much talking that I will do - so what you said (and Scar Jo’s role) about internalizing and restricting contact is a coping mechanism - way to protect. This is the first romance/drama that I’ve seen in years- no exaggeration. I’m all for horror movies, mystery or documentary/historical period movies so even watching this was so far outside my comfort zone. But this movie almost forces us to analyze and evaluate past situations and self reflection. I remember exes of mine saying that I don’t talk enough about how I feel when it comes to interpersonal intimate relationships - that they’re used to females breaking down or overly communicating. But I’m like this - I’ll tell how I feel and expect it to be received for how it is. I’m not begging anyone to understand how I feel or repeating myself over and over. It’s counterproductive. If a person really cares - they will know or comprehend. If they don’t - then it’s not meant to be and move on. I know other environmental factors and situations contributed to how I move but I don’t like wasting time and I hate conflict in relationships. If we can’t resolve within the right boundaries, then instead of continuing in the cycle. I’m out. Rather not deal, there’s enough negativity outside the home to deal with. That’s why I relate to her lawyer in this and Scar Jo as far as “enough is enough”, i don’t like the selfishness especially when I’m with someone, I’ll be totally selfless. it’s sad but necessary to move on and find contentment within, if that what it comes down to. Focus on other Ish- like how the women became established in their careers. If there’s an impasse in a relationship, then it’s either they have reached the point of no return or work it out.
Idk - Do you think that’s too harsh? I’m about conflict avoidance in my personal life bc I deal with conflict resolution and risk avoidance at work, with family members, kids lol; therefore I’m like F coming home and dealing with more of the same from a S.O. that is there to provide comfort/companionship. I just want to come home to my S.O. , laugh, talk about real talk ( news, current events, life.. ) hang out. I hate relationship complications and if it starts becoming more of a burden than beneficial - I don’t see the point of complaining about it, rather just close off and not deal.
It just feels horrible. My soul is literally oriented towards reconciliation. But the danger for me in that is much like this character, u end up making small issues bigger by not saying anything.
As women we are notorious for doing that. I think fear plays a big role in it. When we are in love, we want shyt to be perfect. Perfect. We don’t wanna fukk anything up. So we just automatically get into the habit of sacrificing and staying silent. But the issues we needed to fix don’t go away just b/c we aren’t talking about them. That resentment gets built up and starts seeping out in unhealthy ways. Like not wanting ur partner anywhere near you physically. Or getting fed up and leaving.
When she was talking to the lawyer about being a wife and mother and thinking that was enough and how she couldn’t even remember that woman’s name—that shyt was RAW.
As for us I think communication is a skill set that u have to work at for the rest of ur life. And sometimes, we gotta learn to say the hard truths even if we don’t want the heat. But no I TOTALLY feel u.
ultraflexed
Superstar
I think 26 and up is the sweet spot.
My parents married at 27 and there still together.
I think from the women's aspect the longer you wait, the harder it becomes especially once you hit 33 and up, no one I know at that age that is not married yet is even close to getting married regardless of looks and money.
I think the economy has a large role also since money or lack of is the demise of most marriages.
Maybe right after college is too soon but it depends on how old you are when you graduated, also debt and career aspects play a role too
If you meet the right one, the right person to build with, unless your under 24 age shouldn't be a factor but like I said, finances and career goals play a role