I just watched Marriage Story on Netflix...

[phcitywarrior]

Will give this a look tonight.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

I feel like I lot of women want to get married because they feel it gives them a higher status in life. Showing off the ring, the wedding, the pictures. They are given this vision of Prince Charming, and thinking marriage is picnics, and flowers all the time. Marriage is about life with a partner. Everything you go through as a single person, you will go through married. Finances, issues at work, health, loss. And if both people’s needs and wants aren’t met, it doesn’t work.

A lot of times, both people will see things that bother them, but not speak up, because they think love will conquer all. It takes more than love to make a marriage work.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

I think 26 and up is the sweet spot.
My parents married at 27 and there still together.
I think from the women's aspect the longer you wait, the harder it becomes especially once you hit 33 and up, no one I know at that age that is not married yet is even close to getting married regardless of looks and money.

I think the economy has a large role also since money or lack of is the demise of most marriages.

Maybe right after college is too soon but it depends on how old you are when you graduated, also debt and career aspects play a role too

If you meet the right one, the right person to build with, unless your under 24 age shouldn't be a factor but like I said, finances and career goals play a role

Maybe for women, but there is NO WAY I could have been married at 27. The women I was attracted to, my values, my world perspective. I would 100% be divorced if I got married back then.

But I’ll be 36 next year. Finances are good, got my own home, no major stress. I’m going to be serious about finding my wife next year.

 

[ultraflexed]

Maybe for women, but there is NO WAY I could have been married at 27. The women I was attracted to, my values, my world perspective. I would 100% be divorced if I got married back then.

But I’ll be 36 next year. Finances are good, got my own home, no major stress. I’m going to be serious about finding my wife next year.

Men dont have a biological clock so you looking for a wife at 36 is typical...However


What will the age of your future wife be...


I'm guess between 26-30

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

Men dont have a biological clock so you looking for a wife at 36 is typical...However


What will the age of your future wife...


I'm guess between 26-30

I’m thinking 28-32.

My main FWB is 35, and is a decent woman. BUT, I’m concerned about those eggs.

 

[ultraflexed]

I’m thinking 28-32.

My main FWB is 35, and is a decent woman. BUT, I’m concerned about those eggs.

Exactly

 

[phcitywarrior]

I'm sure this has been said before but it's interesting how Netflix has assumed the role of distributor of "indie" type films and the box office is now for cookie cutter reboots and franchises.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

I think 26 and up is the sweet spot.
My parents married at 27 and there still together.
I think from the women's aspect the longer you wait, the harder it becomes especially once you hit 33 and up, no one I know at that age that is not married yet is even close to getting married regardless of looks and money.

I think the economy has a large role also since money or lack of is the demise of most marriages.

Maybe right after college is too soon but it depends on how old you are when you graduated, also debt and career aspects play a role too

If you meet the right one, the right person to build with, unless your under 24 age shouldn't be a factor but like I said, finances and career goals play a role

Tbh- I think people with established careers and financial security are not out here rushing to get married. I know it seems more conducive for people with stability to marry but mentally and financially stable people are more in demand, less restricted in their choices, and more options. On average most marriages these days only last 5-7 yrs. Our parents’day and age of marriage is much different than today. I Literally know more people in my circle, both male and female that are either in trial separations, never been married, divorced or miserable but stay together for comfortability or convenience, finance. But they’re bored or bitter af bc they still feel alone in their marriage. I look at what the elders in the community dealt with - and you would be surprised what they had to tolerate behind closed doors under the guise of “happy marriage”. I think all that “good ole days” talk is smoke and mirrors bc I know for a fact my grandfather had multiple kids not by my grandmother, which I recently put together not too long ago and my grandmother wasn’t there exactly the image of sanctity they like to project bc my mom has a different father, she has a younger brother that’s not my grandfather and there’s more stories. Just like our parents - realistically they are not going to make us aware of all the details about their marriage dynamics but the difference is today, people are so open with putting their personal business and magnifying lens on their relationships. Back then, much more private and less disclosed- same problems but I think people have more of a tendency to not tolerate or have less of an incentive to stay in that type of position. The stigma was there back in the day - I also think 2 unhappy people in a marriage has a serious detrimental affect on the kids. If you have find someone special then of course - make it work but I think people have more objectives than seeing marriage as their sole purpose for existence. There’s so many aspects of life - this one catch all method doesn’t work for everybody. In this movie - you can tell the father was falling out of touch with his son bc the dad was so preoccupied with his own feelings. That’s an even worse scenario to me- losing touch or that bond with your own flesh and blood that you created and are responsible for - a whole other life of a child dependent on you ; time that you can never replace or get back.

Taking him to trick or treating, dragging him around when the kid is exhausted when I’m sure the son in the movie would have been just as happy with him ordering a pizza, playing a game. There were too many times where he took his frustration out on his kid. That was tragic.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

Men dont have a biological clock so you looking for a wife at 36 is typical...However


What will the age of your future wife be...


I'm guess between 26-30

Men don’t have a biological clock?? Lol - I’m not looking at a 40-55 yr old man with kids of various ages. Adult kids and possible grandkids as a prize catch to lockdown either - the same way I wouldn’t expect to be a prime candidate with 2 kids at 35. It is what it is.

And I can’t see a 40 -45 yr old man wanting to be a father at that stage. Realistically - 33-35, is the optimal age. Anything after 40 - I truly don’t see the point other than having a close friend or company from time to time. Barely can find anyone with decent looks to have a half decent convo, and halfway enjoy their company that’s not all over social media and shares the same mindset as you, that’s not looking for attention or doesn’t have a closet full of skeletons. No disrespect to you of course but that bio clock doesn’t mean shyt when the majority of society is in a state of mental atrophy or regression.

 

[ultraflexed]

Men don’t have a biological clock?? Lol - I’m not looking at a 40-55 yr old man with kids of various ages. Adult kids and possible grandkids as a prize catch to lockdown either - the same way I wouldn’t expect to be a prime candidate with 2 kids at 35. It is what it is.

And I can’t see a 40 -45 yr old man wanting to be a father at that stage. Realistically - 33-35, is the optimal age. Anything after 40 - I truly don’t see the point other than having a close friend or company from time to time. Barely can find anyone with decent looks to have a half decent convo, and halfway enjoy their company that’s not all over social media and shares the same mindset as you, that’s not looking for attention or doesn’t have a closet full of skeletons. No disrespect to you of course but that bio clock doesn’t mean shyt when the majority of society is in a state of mental atrophy or regression.

Believe it or not my boy is 41, makes 80k a year, owns his house.......NO KIDS either.
He loves kids, he dates women with kids. Problem is he has bad taste and is still single
Really really really great guy...I stay trying to hook him up....this is him
He's black, Puerto rican, jamaican
But he really just looks like a light skin black dude.

But yes, you can be a man an have all together an still struggle

 

[ultraflexed]

Tbh- I think people with established careers and financial security are not out here rushing to get married. I know it seems more conducive for people with stability to marry but mentally and financially stable people are more in demand, less restricted in their choices, and more options. On average most marriages these days only last 5-7 yrs. Our parents’day and age of marriage is much different than today. I Literally know more people in my circle, both male and female that are either in trial separations, never been married, divorced or miserable but stay together for comfortability or convenience, finance. But they’re bored or bitter af bc they still feel alone in their marriage. I look at what the elders in the community dealt with - and you would be surprised what they had to tolerate behind closed doors under the guise of “happy marriage”. I think all that “good ole days” talk is smoke and mirrors bc I know for a fact my grandfather had multiple kids not by my grandmother, which I recently put together not too long ago and my grandmother wasn’t there exactly the image of sanctity they like to project bc my mom has a different father, she has a younger brother that’s not my grandfather and there’s more stories. Just like our parents - realistically they are not going to make us aware of all the details about their marriage dynamics but the difference is today, people are so open with putting their personal business and magnifying lens on their relationships. Back then, much more private and less disclosed- same problems but I think people have more of a tendency to not tolerate or have less of an incentive to stay in that type of position. The stigma was there back in the day - I also think 2 unhappy people in a marriage has a serious detrimental affect on the kids. If you have find someone special then of course - make it work but I think people have more objectives than seeing marriage as their sole purpose for existence. There’s so many aspects of life - this one catch all method doesn’t work for everybody. In this movie - you can tell the father was falling out of touch with his son bc the dad was so preoccupied with his own feelings. That’s an even worse scenario to me- losing touch or that bond with your own flesh and blood that you created and are responsible for - a whole other life of a child dependent on you ; time that you can never replace or get back.

Taking him to trick or treating, dragging him around when the kid is exhausted when I’m sure the son in the movie would have been just as happy with him ordering a pizza, playing a game. There were too many times where he took his frustration out on his kid. That was tragic.

Alot of truth in this post .
I think people marry for different reasons, some for love, or security, or to build with an get ahead.
The best marriages are a combination of all mentioned, in love, with financial security and someone you can build with. So when one thing fails you still have those other connections to build on, nothing is perfect all the time.
Hopefully you haven't given up hope

 

[Bless't]

Even without watching it the movie gives off the same vibes as Revolutionary Road

Great movie.

I'm gonna watch that shyt tonight, matter'fact.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

Alot of truth in this post .
I think people marry for different reasons, some for love, or security, or to build with an get ahead.
The best marriages are a combination of all mentioned, in love, with financial security and someone you can build with. So when one thing fails you still have those other connections to build on, nothing is perfect all the time.
Hopefully you haven't given up hope

I haven't given up hope - at this point in my life, I'm good with what I have -what works for me and my family. Just like I wouldn't judge other people for their relationship or status. I'm realistic enough to know my boundaries and expectations. I know that I can't be responsible for another adult's emotions 24/7 day to day or sharing the same space all day, every day. I would lose my mind trying to cope or manage that and I don't have the patience of tolerance level for it- so it would be selfish of me to even attempt that type of situation. Right now, my safe space is my own space in my own place.

 

[ultraflexed]

I haven't given up hope - at this point in my life, I'm good with what I have and what works for me and my family. Just like I wouldn't judge other people for their relationship or status. I'm realistic enough to know my boundaries and expectations.

Good, it sounded like you were throwing in the towel, I'm glad you haven't. Sh#t is hard though.
Like my friend, I had his video posted in my post yesterday.
Making close to 6 figures, no kids, owns his house and he looks like he could get any women he wants, and yet he struggles to find a quality women and he wants a family.

It's not just you...

 

[Easy-E]

Fam, WHAT. THEE. fukk.









One thing I'm seeing is these judges are evil. I didn't know they are basically God in Family Court..

And prenups ain't shyt