How many of you have no desire to get Married?

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1. You'll lose respect. A couple of generations ago, a man wasn't considered fully adult until he was married with kids. But today, fathers are figures of fun more than figures of respect: The schlubby guy with the flowered diaper bag at the mall, or one of the endless array of buffoonish TV dads in sitcoms and commercials. In today's culture, father never knows best. It's no better in the news media. As communications professor James Macnamara reports, "by volume, 69 percent of mass media reporting and commentary on men was unfavorable, compared with just 12 percent favorable and 19 percent neutral or balanced."

2. You'll lose out on sex. Married men have more sex than single men, on average - but much less than men who are cohabiting with their partners outside of marriage, especially as time goes on. Research even suggests that married women are more likely to gain weight than women who are cohabiting without marriage. A Men's Health article mentioned one study that followed 2,737 people for six years and found that cohabiters said they were happier and more confident than married couples and singles.

3. You'll lose friends. "Those wedding bells are breaking up that old gang of mine." That's an old song, but it's true. When married, men's ties with friends from school and work tend to fade. Although both men and women lose friends after marriage, it tends to affect men's self-esteem more, perhaps because men tend to be less social in general.

4. You'll lose space. We hear a lot about men retreating to their "man caves," but why do they retreat? Because they've lost the battle for the rest of the house. The Art of Manliness blog mourns "The Decline of Male Space," and notes that the development of suburban lifestyles, intended to bring the family together, resulted in the elimination of male spaces in the main part of the house, and the exile of men to attics, garages, basements - the least desirable part of the home. As a commenter to the post observes: "There was no sadder scene to a movie than in 'Juno' when married guy Jason Bateman realized that in his entire huge, house, he had only a large closet to keep all the stuff he loved in. That hit me like a punch in the face."

5. You could lose your kids, and your money. And they may not even be your kids. Lots of men I spoke with were keenly aware of the dangers of divorce, and worried that if they were married and it went sour, the woman might take everything, including the kids. Other men were concerned that they might wind up paying child support for kids who aren't even theirs - a very real possibility in many states. On my blog, I polled over 3200 men to ask how they would react to finding out that a child wasn't theirs after all. 32 percent said they would feel "anger and fury at the mother," 6 percent said they would feel "depression," 18 percent said "anger and depression," 2 percent said "none of the above," 32 percent said "angry at the system that forced them to pay," and only 2 percent "didn't care." One man commented that his ex-wife had taunted him with the knowledge that his 11-year old son wasn't actually his: "I was angry at the mother...I severed all ties to the boy. Some may see this as a failing. I see it as self-preservation, and to those that ask the question of whether or not the courts will make a non-biological parent pay child support, pay attention: YES THEY WILL! They see you as nothing more than a source of cash for the child. It seems that a person in these situations should be able to sue the real father for child support."



6. You'll lose in court. Men often complain that the family court legal system is stacked against them, and in fact it seems to be. Women gain custody and child support the majority of the time, as pointed out in this ABC News article: "Despite the increases in men seeking and receiving alimony, advocates warn against linking the trend to equality in the courtroom. Family court judges still tend to favor women, said Ned Holstein, the founder of Fathers & Families, a group advocating family court reform. "'Family court still gives custody overwhelmingly to mothers, child support overwhelmingly to mothers, and courts still give almony overwhelmingly to mothers and women,' he said. 'The family courts came into existence years ago in order to give things to mothers that mothers needed," he said. 'The times have changed and the courts have not.'"

7. You'll lose your freedom. At least, if you're charged with child support that you can't pay, you can be put in jail - and if you can't afford a lawyer, you don't have the right to have one appointed because, according to the Supreme Court, it's technically a civil matter, never mind the jail time. Fathers and Families found that it's the men who are jailed rather than women: "A new report concludes that between 95% and 98.5% of all incarcerations in Massachusetts sentenced from the Massachusetts Probate and Family Courts from 2001 through 2011 have been men. Moreover, this percentage may be increasing, with an average of 94.5% from 2001 to 2008, and 96.2% from 2009 through 2011. It is likely that most of these incarcerations are for incomplete payment of child support. Further analysis suggests that women who fail to pay all of their child support are incarcerated only one-eighth as often as men with similar violations."

8. Single life is better than ever. While the value of marriage to men has declined, the quality of single life has improved. Single men were once looked on with suspicion, passed over for promotion for important jobs, which usually valued "stable family men," and often subjected to social opprobrium. It was hard to have a love life that wasn't aimed at marriage, and premarital sex was risky and frowned upon. Now, no one looks askance at the single lifestyle, dating is easy, and employers probably prefer employees with no conflicting family responsibilities. Plus, video games, cable TV, and the Internet provide entertainment that didn't used to be available. Is this good for society? Probably not, as falling birth rates and increasing single-motherhood demonstrate. But people respond to incentives. If you want more men to marry, it needs to be a more attractive proposition.
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reincar is the ultimate troll :blessed:

Dude like does want to get married but is probably so deformed (28 THOUSAND posts breh?! :dahell:) that he can't find a desirable mate.
 
Ashley Banks

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His_Excellence_Reincar said:
most women want to get married
most men don't

100% of broads out there can find a dude to smash them but finding a dude to commit that will marry them? :heh:

the older a broad gets teh less likely she will be married
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So not getting married = there's something wrong with them? Maybe the men they were with think there's no benefit to marriage.

Most men don't want to get married, so how is there something wrong with a woman that doesn't get married? Doesn't that just mean that men don't want to get married?

Does that mean there is something wrong with you too? Since your Fiance left you and according to you most women want to get married. Most women want to get married but a woman didn't want to marry you...
 
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Juicy said:
So not getting married = there's something wrong with them? Maybe the men they were with think there's no benefit to marriage.

Most men don't want to get married, so how is there something wrong with a woman that doesn't get married? Doesn't that just mean that men don't want to get married?

Does that mean there is something wrong with you too? Since your Fiance left you and according to you most women want to get married. Most women want to get married but a woman didn't want to marry you...
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1. my fiance didnt leave me, other way around.

2. there is not a abundance of men out there on talk shows talking about how they cant find a good woman to marry

3. women waste their youth and prime years when guys are not as wise on vagabonds and clubbing living a ratchet lifestyle, then after they want their fun they want to settle down but gasp cant find anyone. Or they are the "career orientated broads"

4. nope nothing is wrong with me, if i wanted to get married i would have a long line up. See im a 28 year old handsome black male with no children, a career, a car, assets/
 
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amaury136 said:
thats just stupid. NOBODY believes marriage will be perfect. at least not any rational adults. OF COURSE its gonna be a risk and OF COURSE its gonna require alot of WORK. but if u honest to god fall in love with someone and you feel she is your soulmate and this soulmate's DREAM has always been to get married and you yourself have always looked up to all the married couples in your family and look forward to being a father, the WORK should not SCARE you. neither should the risk. im getting married in november and when i think of the money and time that have gone into this, the practical side of me says :whoa:. but when i see how happy my fiancee is i know that i would do it over and over again cause i LOVE her and i cant wait to face the good AND the bad with her.

its not about rainbows and peaches and honey for the rest of your lives. its about choosing somebody to face the tough times ahead with. i WANT to be a father and choosing a good mother is very important in that decision. are we gonna fight? hell yea! am i gonna get pissed and wish i hadnt done it? most likely. is she gonna nag me to death about my messiness? DAMN STRAIGHT. is she gonna be a wonderful mother? undoubtedly YES. does she make me want to be a better man? HELL yes.

but thats just me :manny:

now if u with a girl and u scared to marry her cause u believe she is capable of cheating on u, then she not the one for u. thats why i say the quality of women ya deal with has alot to do with ya opinion.
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i'm not talking about having a marriage that isn't challenging i'm talking about the marriage itself actually failing. all marriages pose challenges and difficulties. my parents have been married about 35 years and still are and i've seen first hand the challenges and problems they faced.

Its funny you consider the anti-marriage stance as fear. i consider it looking rationally at an unnecessary risk and asking yourself what's the worst case scenario and admitting to yourself that if you can't accept that you shouldn't do it.

i'm also of the mind to say that conditional love isn't the most stable foundation to base a life long contract with harsh penalties upon exit on. romantic human love is the ultimate form of conditional love.

choose your good mother and marry her and know that if the marriage fails you'll likely get your kids a handful of days a month and they'll primarily live with her. you'll have to make monthly payments to her for them and when they're with her she could actually date another man that has more access to your kids than you do. that's not even getting to his character but still some random man may very well end up spending more time with your kids than you.
 
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PoPo said:
reincar is the ultimate troll :blessed:

Dude like does want to get married but is probably so deformed (28 THOUSAND posts breh?! :dahell:) that he can't find a desirable mate.
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1. not a troll
2. does not want to get married
3. deformed? funny
 
BlvdBrawler

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amaury136 said:
but when i see how happy my fiancee is i know that i would do it over and over again cause i LOVE her and i cant wait to face the good AND the bad with her.
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I don't know why but I always thought you were a female. :manny:

Actually I think I know why. I think I mixed you up with Aroman or something. Similar name or something.

Anyway, hope it works out breh. Good luck. :tu:
 
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