I just believed life wouldn't be as difficult if I had one woman that was there for me.
I would say this is where you're going wrong.
The secret to life is this. Nobody else can make you happy. It has to come from within. The second part (the unspoken part) of this knowledge, is that while someone else can't bring you happiness, they can
absolutely take your happiness away. Nobody talks about that part.
If you're miserable now, adding someone else's insecurities and the endless obligations that come with a relationship surely won't get you there.
I know you think I don't know what I'm talking about.
But I know what I'm talking about.
Seek your own happiness first, otherwise you're just going to drag some poor girl down with you.