So what's the reason why u don't talk 2 your pops? What's the issue?
yeah my pops...It was stupid though. At the end of the day, he provided for my brothers and sister. He did his job. I had no reason to feel some type of way cus he never felt some type of way when he had to get up in the morning to take care of us. Alot stuff that I done in the past was stupid. I appreciate them both.
I havent talked to my dad in 3 yrs , nicca remember he had a son and wanted to build a relationship when i was 25yrs living on my own, I told him it was too late he wasnt there when I needed him to guide me
You can't be f***ing serious?
This is your damn father were talking about, the one who made you, raised you, clothed you, fed you etc and you can't even pick up a damn phone?
I couldn't imagine how heartbreaking it would be for me if my son practically ignored me after he moved out. This s*** should be a crime 4 real
You people are disgusting. I talk to my moms atleast once a day and i'm at her crib every Sunday eating. I chill with my pops atleast once every couple of weeks. Me and my parents are very close and my mom is my everything.
These are the people that gave your weird muhfukkas life, the least you could do is check on them and tell them you love them as much as possible.
As much as i understand where some of you are coming from, everyone's situation ain't as clear cut as that. I love my family to death and I couldn't fathom the thought of not speaking to my moms for x years. My dad is a totally different story as we're both apathetic towards each other. Y'all gotta understand that everyone's situation ain't the same. Some people got hurt by their parents, some it would probably take a death for them to realize their loss, and then there's some who even death won't phase them. Everyone's pain threshold or ability to handle it ain't the same. That's just how it is.
This
We could easily play the "I'm your first child/oldest/only boy/girl" card
Parents need to stop usin' "I took care of you" as an excuse to mistreat their children...especially once we become adults
I thought parents did that because they loved us...
By the responses in this quotes and just the thread in general you can see how different the mindsets of each person is. Some people feel that your forever in debt to your parents just because they had sex at one point and created you. Others see it further that if they were there for you you owe it to them. Whilst others feel that the parents just did their job etc,
My reasoning or my attempts to rationalize arent/werent easy. This is many years in the making. I will attempt to say it in a way that makes sense (if possible).
My pops was there. Always was, but he's a business first type of man. I remember when I was like 2 or 3 it was the only time in my life I ever saw him work. I say work because at that time he had just started his own business and has owned it and runs it and still does. Other than just providing, making sure I had a full stomach and clean clothes, handling the 'business' as I call or or the just responsibilities, I dont feel I had a connection with him at all. He did more than make sure I was fed, clothed and sheltered, I was enrolled in sports throughout my life and even went to Disney World for a family reunion. So on the outside it looked like I was just a normal kid.
I started to see at a young age, maybe 11 from when I would go over to friends house and the relationship they would have with their pops. Their pops would 'talk' to them and joke with them and it was more than just the bare responsibilities of being a parent.
Real talk I dont ever in my life remember hugging or being hugged by my pops. Ive shaken his hand like ive done the person at the bank or a job interview but when I was down and out like a kid gets, he never put his arm around me and told me everything was going to be ok.
The extent of all of our conversations from 7th grade to graduation were about my grades and if im passing or why did my teacher call, or where was my report card, how come I got a C when I could have shouldnt have been playin nintendo and gotten an A or B...the nikka was never 'interested' in me. I know he was lookin out cause he didnt want me to fail school and be a dummy or a bum. But because he was always on my back about school I didnt give a shyt for about 2 years whether I passed or failed.
I was about 13/14 when I made a decision, (pops always said to stand by your word) my word was if our relationship doesnt change by the time I graduate or shortly after then its over. It was such a business type relationship, I still played sports and did shyt throughout high school, I just stopped telling him when the games were and shyt because I didnt want him there. He was never the type to ask about what girls I was seeing or interested in but quick to say "Dont be out there fukkin with those white girls" or "How come your always with (insert homies name) and never with a girl ya'll aint fakkits are you?" That one always made me go
cause I think it was his way of inquiring who I was seeing or what not.
I dont know, the only way I can attempt to rationalize it was that me being the 4th kid he was burned out. My oldest brother is 12 years older than me so by the time I came he had been to all the sports practices and games, he had done it all and seen it all and just seemed to be going through the parenting motions with me.
He taught me mad independence, I cant hate on him for that, he didnt do it to be mean but to show me how the world works. He straight up said Im not gonna buy you a car because you wont appreciate it. I thought he was cheap at the time, but when I saved up 2g and bought my own whip, I babied the hell out of it, took wayyy better care of it cause that was my money. So in a way father does know best. But like I said, I still see it today when I kick it with my friends and we meet up with their pops, they have normal conversations and shyt, but it isnt new they didnt just start having those conversations after they graduated HS or college. They've always had them. They have all these inside jokes and shyt. When I graduated HS I damn near had to tell my pops I told you so, I told him time and time again I was gonna graduate and i'd take care of it, but no matter many times we had the same arguement about grades and progress reports and shyt. He was like a boss that gets on you about stats or sales or some shyt, like damn I know what the fukk im doing, let me do me and you do you.
But yea, after I graduated and I moved out, it was like when you resign respectfully from a job, put in a two weeks and just bounce. We've got nothing in common, nothin to talk about. it just is what it is. If my life has any consolation then it shows that being a parent is more that just feeding, clothing, sheltering and be present. Sure I saw the nikka every day but other than just passin by him when we were under the same roof, the result of a lot of our interactions left a negative impact on me. I mean shyt, I saw the mailman 5 days a week and he would ask how I was doing, or the guy at the barbershop would say something like "man your growin up fast etc"
Its damn near too late. If I ever do have a kid, I wouldnt want them to meet my pops because shyt, they aint gonna know more about him than I am. Its just all fukked up.
Guilt is a muthafukka!!!
bein able to pay for sending ya folks on vacation is a good feeling. it's like a small token of appreciation for the 18 years of putting up with my shyt
