Probably won't talking to my "male parent" for a long time. I refuse to even acknowledge it's presence anymore. Hatred just doesn't cover it.
I didn't realize it until recently but he's spent his whole life basically belittling and bullying me. The nikka wouldn't even let me play football when I was a kid and never explained why (more on this in a second), and whenever I was getting punked out by kids at school, he would threaten to beat me up if I got in trouble. Told me to just go tell the teachers, but we all know how that shyt works. So I'd risk my lumps anyway just to keep my rep up at school.
I also didn't realize that my biggest bully, was never other kids but him. He'd never bother to explain anything to me even as I grew into adulthood, constantly treated me like a fukking baby (I'm in my 20s) and everytime you'd try to get to know him as a person, he'd just shut you down. Like there was no persona beyond "the father figure", shyt got me heated.
It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the physical threats and violence. That shyt came to an though when he was pissed off about my not having a job (I got laid off so I had to live with my parents for a bit). One night, dude just decides to touch off an incident over nothing (was bytching at me about the way I was making food). Was trying to be calm and explain the situation to him that I wasn't going to burn down his house because he was getting hyped that I might fukk up and burn the house down somehow (
).
I said, "Wait, I've never burned down the house in all my 21 years, why would I start now?" His response? "CAUSE IT'S MY HOSUE!" And that right there pretty much tells you all you need to know about our relationship. He never felt the need to explain himself on anything (I can understand this as a kid, but this shyt doesn't fly when you're older) and would constantly feel the need to assert his authority over you physically or verbally. If he wasn't doing that, then he would essentially baby talk you with nicknames that you'd give a fukking three year old. He never grew with me through the years, we (my brother and I) were always babies in his eyes. I didn't mind it at first, but as I've gornw through the years, I've realized how much of a problem I've got with it because it symbolizes just how much he goes out of his way to belittle you while not making any effort to get to know you as a pesron. Add into that, you were always in the wrong no matter what. Even when he was completely in the wrong, and you'd call him out on it, he'd beat you anyway for "talking back". In our house, it wasn't cursing that was wrong, saying "no" was just as bad (which is hyporitical as fukk considering that he'd curse like a sailor).
On this particular night, I'd had enough. So dude steps to me threatening to call the cops and threatening to throw me out of the house (over nothing, I might add), and the whole time, I'm looking at him like, "I would love to see you try.
"
My mom is watching from the sidelines, and she's siding with me because he knows that it was wrong for him to start this incident. Meanwhile, while this is going on, he turns to my mom and cries (yes, literally CRIES) to her about how I'm being disrespectful (yeah, nevermind the fact that this nikka started this shyt), so he finally steps to me for the last time threatening to kick my ass...now in previous years this might have worked, but a nikka got his swole on in the last five years. So I'm pushing about 235-240 pretty muscular and he's gotten
like most old men, and rather than do what he would expect me to do, or what he had gotten used to me doing as a kid, which was cowering in fear, I step back to him and say, "DO SOMETHIN THEN, bytch!
" I was mad heated and ready to throw and give him a little of what he's deserved all these years.
He again, backs off and starts crying about how I'm being disrespectful. shyt was plain hilarious, the logic in the situation.
Well, a few weeks later, I end up getting a job or two and moving out and we haven't spoken since. It's been about four months now.
As of yet, he's offered no apology, or even a "my bad" or even taken responsibilty for what happened. To him, it was about being "disrespespected" which is bullshyt considering that I didn't do shyt wrong in the first place. He'd have a point if I was some criminal, bringing trouble into his house, but that wasn't the case fo rme. I was just looking to lay low for a while until I got back on my feet, which I did.
Normally, my mom has to guide him into an apology whenever he goes overboard, but being fed up with his bullshyt, she left him on his own, and sure enough, he can't even admit that he fukked up. My mom put it best when she told me, "he probably thinks what he did was right".
Well, as it turns out, he was pissed about me not having a job (and trust me, I was trying...I'm no deadbeat), but rather than talk about it like normal people, dude always bottles things up, and then let's them loose in the worst possible way (yelling, insults, threats, physical beatings, intimidation, etc). Rather than talk about his disagreements sensibly, but that's never been his M.O.
It's really hard to describe this kind of logic and behavior, but I'm cool with just calling him retarded and leaving it at that.
So yeah, fukk him. I hope I never have to see an eye or an ear of that piece of shyt ever again. Good riddance.
is astounding
so my mom stayed with the 
