Has Anyone Else Just Given Up And Lost Hope On Dating/Love?

[godkiller]

With all the great women I hear black women say are out here, how can OP or anyone "give up and lost hope in dating"? That can't be true.

 

[DatLBCGuy562]

I'm 34 and I quit dating at about age 28. It's a waste of my time. It felt like dumpster diving. I at least wanted a woman with her own place, own car, college educated, making a minimum of $50,000 a year annually, no kids. At my age that's impractical. At the very least you're gonna be taking on someone else's kid or kids. I probably should have been more diligent about finding a woman in my 20s.

I agree brother. Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from. That's all I was saying. When trying to date at a certain age, it's hard to find an equal match. I'm an educated, professional Black man. I need a woman who I can relate to and who is somewhat on my level. Someone who is mature and has her stuff together, mentally and financially. Someone who is not bitter, argumentative, or emotionally scarred. That's ALL the premise of the OP is/was.

Ypu have bitter bytches in here who see too much of themselves in my original post. You also have bytch nikkaz in here trying to cater and relate to the aforementioned bitter bytches. A real nikkaz gonna recognize a real nikka every single time. I appreciate everyone who has contributed their experiences and contributed positively to this thread. I have really gained some valuable information and new perspective from your takes. That's why I love this site. It's very therapeutic. Thanks breh

 

[BaldingSoHard]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I don't get into all of that which is cute/ugly because everything is beautiful its humans that make things ugly.

Now on what people consider ugly, a woman going to run her game to keep a man, what she lacks in looks she'll make up in other areas, but those areas could be superficial, she's just this way to keep you, but that not might be the real her, only you know the answer to that.

You're right I don't really know her that well yet tbh but you know how when you meet a girl and you let certain things slide or you ignore maybe red (or yellow) flags because of the potential? Well I haven't had to do that yet, which is nice.

 

[Marlostanfield.]

You're right I don't really know her that well yet tbh but you know how when you meet a girl and you let certain things slide or you ignore maybe red (or yellow) flags because of the potential? Well I haven't had to do that yet, which is nice.

Me personally, I'm well versed in psychology so I can see signs a mile away so I know who to avoid and I can spot the less so obvious signs. I'm not like Martin in thin line between love and hate where I see she crazy and still mess with her

Just saying ugly or cute, they can run game, but its up to you decide if she is or isn't or she's doing a real job catering to your ego.

All I'm saying is do a thorough evaluation homie always and never get attached because then you can't see reality for what it is

 

[godkiller]

Black men are expected ti date any old black women. We are not allowed to have standards.

Expecting hot black girls not to treat us like shyt is too much to ask.

In fact, according to many women, it's downright "misogynoir" when a professional black man wants a 8 or 9 level bottle girl type. It's OK for other groups of men not to entertain below a 8 when they make 70k+ but we must downscale.


We all have ti be content with levels of women no other race of man must eternally endure. Or so I'm told.

 

[Hersh]

stop looking... focus on urself and ur daughter... if I chick tries hard enough to get through to u.. she it brehs.. just stop looking

 

[kwazzy100]

I can't say I relate to you, OP. Well maybe I can, but the difference between you and me is that you're more grown with experience, plus the child.
While I never really had dated anyone before, most of the time I feel like the right chick for me aint out there. Sometimes I think to myself what if I was older. Will I have a family? What my partner will be like? Could I be able to take care of myself and others? But then again, I feel like realistically, Id be still single and just do me. There are times I wonder if Im really missing much from not being in a relationship, but then again, this thread for an example. People can be fickle. Even me at times. I can't deal with too much of that. I get annoyed easily, so me being with a woman wouldn't be wonderful as it seems. It must be really tough just go from one relationship, to another, to another, to another then still hope theres another woman out there that'll definitely stay. It takes a lot of effort.

But to you for being able to take care of yourself and your kid, OP. I know being a single parent can be hard.

 

[Suleiman Bey]

Black men are expected ti date any old black women. We are not allowed to have standards.

Expecting hot black girls not to treat us like shyt is too much to ask.

In fact, according to many women, it's downright "misogynoir" when a professional black man wants a 8 or 9 level bottle girl type. It's OK for other groups of men not to entertain below a 8 when they make 70k+ but we must downscale.


We all have ti be content with levels of women no other race of man must eternally endure. Or so I'm told.

other races teach their daughters to be wives. black women are not taught that.

anyway yes i have given up on love. I'm not picky but all the women who reciprocate my advances are "damaged" I can not be with a chick who can not birth my kids.

 

[DatLBCGuy562]

I can't say I relate to you, OP. Well maybe I can, but the difference between you and me is that you're more grown with experience, plus the child.
While I never really had dated anyone before, most of the time I feel like the right chick for me aint out there. Sometimes I think to myself what if I was older. Will I have a family? What my partner will be like? Could I be able to take care of myself and others? But then again, I feel like realistically, Id be still single and just do me. There are times I wonder if Im really missing much from not being in a relationship, but then again, this thread for an example. People can be fickle. Even me at times. I can't deal with too much of that. I get annoyed easily, so me being with a woman wouldn't be wonderful as it seems. It must be really tough just go from one relationship, to another, to another, to another then still hope theres another woman out there that'll definitely stay. It takes a lot of effort.

But to you for being able to take care of yourself and your kid, OP. I know being a single parent can be hard.

I'm not sure of your age breh, but take advantage of your youth and choose wisely when choosing a mate. Dating as an older breh is more difficult because all of the women in your age range have so much bitterness and emotional baggage due to all of their failed relationships and being involved with the wrong me. So they don't really know how to give or receive love properly because they're so hurt. That's my current dating issue. Finding a woman who is an optimist and not scarred by her dating past. Younger women, for the most part, aren't inflicted with these issues....

 

[UpAndComing]

I work at DCFS. I'm a social worker. In my spare time, I hit the gym, read, and watch movies. I don't really go out like that because I consistently work 70 plus hours a week and my job is physically and mentally exhausting. Why do you ask breh?

That 70 hr work schedule might have alot to do with it. That limits the amount of time you have to meet women. But on the bright side, you are a social worker, I'm guessing you meet new people everyday traveling around your city, or are you in the office mostly?

There could also be opportunities to meet women and cold approach in passing (grocery store, going to the bank, gas station, at the gym, etc etc)

 

[kwazzy100]

I'm not sure of your age breh, but take advantage of your youth and choose wisely when choosing a mate. Dating as an older breh is more difficult because all of the women in your age range have so much bitterness and emotional baggage due to all of their failed relationships and being involved with the wrong me. So they don't really know how to give or receive love properly because they're so hurt. That's my current dating issue. Finding a woman who is an optimist and not scarred by her dating past. Younger women, for the most part, aren't inflicted with these issues....

Im 23, breh. Women my age are either lookin for ruff necks or "mature" men.
While that's happening, even though Im young, I know should be a better man. No chick is really checking for an Asocial dude with no dating experience, awkward and no car. My chances could had been better in High School maybe

 

[SunZoo]

That 70 hr work schedule might have alot to do with it. That limits the amount of time you have to meet women. But on the bright side, you are a social worker, I'm guessing you meet new people everyday traveling around your city, or are you in the office mostly?

There could also be opportunities to meet women and cold approach in passing (grocery store, going to the bank, gas station, at the gym, etc etc)

I would imagine the nature of that job, dealing with troubled kids and families while fulfilling and puts you in a position to be of service can be tough on your psyche. 70 plus hours a week...when do you decompres/shake off the negativity that you inevitably encounter dealing with broken families?

 

[SunZoo]

Im 23, breh. Women my age are either lookin for ruff necks or "mature" men.
While that's happening, even though Im young, I know should be a better man. No chick is really checking for an Asocial dude with no dating experience, awkward and no car. My chances could had been better in High School maybe

Sounds like you're putting a hell of a lot of pressure on yourself.

 

[kwazzy100]

Sounds like you're putting a hell of a lot of pressure on yourself.

Yeah, maybe. I could be more, but I just think I haven't reached my goal yet if that makes sense.

 

[the bossman]

I at least wanted a woman with her own place, own car, college educated, making a minimum of $50,000 a year annually, no kids. At my age that's impractical.

bro this list basic as hell. if that's all you wanted you can find tens of thousands of black women (20s & 30s) that fit this profile right now in any popular black city (e.g. ATL, DMV, or Houston)