Dating women over 30 is basically a job interview
- Thread starter Coli Bot
- Start date
Aren’t you about to have a kid?A woman who says she’s dating intentionally and treating a date like a job interview is not a woman looking for casual sex. People may not know if they want to be in a relationship with someone they are just getting to know, but they know if they definitely don’t, if they are open to moving in that direction, and if they are just looking for something casual. I agree that judging people by their actions is important. But it’s crazy to me that men aren’t shy about asking to slide in between a woman’s legs but play coy when asked point blank what they are looking for. Because most times men approach women, so it shouldn’t be that difficult to say what you’re looking for.
If sex is a sterile transactional object to you then you can choose to not deal with them, just like I bushed the women who liked to make it into a job interview. Actions and presentation will usually tell us a lot of what we want to know.
This comment sums up issues with great areas well.
There’s nothing wrong with asking questions and figuring things out, but when it becomes business like, I know I’m not going to take it seriously. She was probably reading bullshyt #relationshipgoals hash-tagged ig posts and is wearing this bullshyt mask to make it look like she has everything under control.
That shyt starts to sound like someone reading self-affirmations aloud. It starts to feel like they don’t know how to read people and now the rest of us have to suffer. It’s like a formal declaration of your baggage.
I’ve been in bad relationships before, but imagine how fast my girl’s vagina would have shriveled up if I started listing a dating manifesto of things I want, things I won’t put up with, things I have, and things I expect you to have on the first few dates. The same shyt happens from our point of view, you start to sound like a second job. women need to learn to spit a little game too lol.
We don’t all ask about sex up front, but even if we did, why react by doing something that’s probably going to be equally as fruitless. There’s plenty of single people with tact why not date them?
I can’t even lie, if my date starts reading me her commandments like Moses. My mind may zone out and probably go straight to sex, and if it’s even worth sitting through this unpleasant person’s bullshyt.
Marriage is an either or thing. Either you with it and all that comes with it or you arent. So it behooves a person that wants it to avoid those who dont or arent sure (really the same thing if we keepin it a stack). Doesnt make anybody a bad person. Just want different things. If more people were honest and upfront about what they want and stood on their principles we would have so much less drama and the gender wars would be over.
Not sure what you are referencing with the bolded.
Redwood
Superstar
It’s funny cause the couple women I know that are dating at 30 and 31 respectfully are saying the same thing about the menDating really seems like it sucks now
Folks have been saying this for the past 10 or 15 years now
I am happy for you two. Hope yall have a wonderful life together.
What if you werent dating intentionally though? Where would she be now? Wide open for a dude that aint about what she about.
Most dudes just looking to play around and get all the ass they can. So for a women who wants to settle to move like that with every dude would be a set up for failure.
Whats wrong with her saying it? Especially if you on the same tip? You think that you are you fiancé wouldnt be where yall are if she verbalized it?
Before I met her I dealt with three women who did that shyt. It wasn’t my first time experiencing it, but I had grown to the point where I wasn’t going to try to weasel my way past it.
One was completely out of her mind. The first time we talked on the phone she was kicking her ex out of the house. I stayed on the phone for several hours just to see what kind of wild shyt would happen next. I ended up ghosting.
The next I actually went on a couple of dates with, but for all she talked about being serious, she stayed at somebody’s nightclub or party. I just moved on because that wasn’t the kind of life I wanted. Plus she gave of all the signs of a scammer lol. I wouldn’t give her my last name or address lol.
The third was very verbal and firm about what she expected and wouldn’t put up with. She seemed cool otherwise. We dated for some months. I work an hour’s drive from my house, her apt was 40 minutes from my house without traffic. She wanted me to always stay the night at her place and got irritated when I refused. She also got mad that I’m not someone who’s constantly talking. She starting going off more and more about what she wouldn’t put up with and gave me an ultimatum. I accepted the ultimatum, wished her the best (I meant it), and went about my business.
One was completely out of her mind. The first time we talked on the phone she was kicking her ex out of the house. I stayed on the phone for several hours just to see what kind of wild shyt would happen next. I ended up ghosting.
The next I actually went on a couple of dates with, but for all she talked about being serious, she stayed at somebody’s nightclub or party. I just moved on because that wasn’t the kind of life I wanted. Plus she gave of all the signs of a scammer lol. I wouldn’t give her my last name or address lol.
The third was very verbal and firm about what she expected and wouldn’t put up with. She seemed cool otherwise. We dated for some months. I work an hour’s drive from my house, her apt was 40 minutes from my house without traffic. She wanted me to always stay the night at her place and got irritated when I refused. She also got mad that I’m not someone who’s constantly talking. She starting going off more and more about what she wouldn’t put up with and gave me an ultimatum. I accepted the ultimatum, wished her the best (I meant it), and went about my business.
If there’s one thing about her that stood out to me, it was her confidence in herself, and her dealings with me. We both knew what we wanted and I’m pretty sure she was just as willing to bush, as I was, if she didn’t feel right.
We’re both people who are just as fine being by ourselves, as we are being with somebody. If I came with the bullshyt, I’m sure she’d have just moved on and went back to enjoying her life and/or some sneaky link.
There’s nothing wrong with expressing what you want, but when you make it feel like an interview then you’re probably just getting on your date’s nerves along with giving them the cheat code to say whatever you want to hear.
My woman friend moved to metro Atlanta from the west coast and she gets approached by guys immediately rattling off things like home ownership, what kind of car they drive, their salary, etc. They do it because it worked in the past and they STILL take advantage of the situation. My own sister was paranoid as hell about dating and the guy she’s with is devoted as hell. He SHOWED her his devotion over time.
If you’re completely depending on words to get to the next step you’re in for a world of hurt if you aren’t already able to discern predators from the jump. Atlanta is full of them, and they’re eating these women alive. Dudes are getting ate up too, because they’re so infatuated with “the vibe” and the looks.
In the big scheme of things none of us are special outside of the relationships we cultivate, none of us deserve anything, and nobody gives a fukk about us until we find somebody that shows us (through actions) that they do give a fukk. we’re brains riding around in meat gundams, just trying to satisfy whatever biological urge we have at the moment. All this other shyt is extra weight we place on our own shoulders because we feel like we need to play or put up with games to get a situation we saw somebody else enjoying.
My girl and I are both quiet unless we’re joking, and when nobody is looking, we’re nerds. We’re both relatively old and eventually you guys will get there too. You’ll stop caring if what you’re wearing is in tune with what’s hot, you’ll stop caring what your date drives, you’ll stop caring if they’re saying things the right way, you’ll stop caring about anything but enjoying the little time you have on this lava filled ball of dirt.
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Dudes contradicting themselves in an attempt to be a part of "as she should" gang. I was gonna write up a response but when you have an agenda like that there's no telling you any different. yall know damn well the only reason women decide to get serious like this is because their clock is ticking. if women were still desirable in older age like men there would be none of this.
Why would you randomly have a bunch of expectations that you didnt have 5 years ago. Its not some sort of grand reawakening lol. Time's up.
Why would you randomly have a bunch of expectations that you didnt have 5 years ago. Its not some sort of grand reawakening lol. Time's up.
It should be a natural and direct conversation. But one thing that seems to be true over time is that men will bring up sex either directly or through innuendos. And once you’re comfortable enough to talk sex, you’re comfortable enough to discuss who a person is, what they’re looking for, and what they’re about. If it’s uncomfortable then it isn’t a match. There’s plenty of women who will just go with the flow and are fine with keeping it casual.
We’ve become a community of having sex and even kids with people we know nothing about because people are comfortable enough to jump in the bed together but asking somebody a 5 five year plan is too personal. People are assed backwards.
My daddy is in his 70s and just married a woman in her 70s because she refused to live with someone she isn’t married to. I just went to a wedding of two over 40 year olds with their first marriage and neither have kids. People get married in 20s, 30s, 40s and even 50s. Gabouray Sibidi aka Precious even has a husband. The key to finding a husband is just being direct and intentional about it. It’s nothing more and nothing less at any age.
I can agree with all that. I’m just against the whole listing things out like it’s some magical protection spell against the dikk demon. Natural and progressive is always the way to go. Enjoy life as it comes, and don’t take ourselves too seriously. It can all be gone in a blink.
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Insensitive
Superstar
Some people who adopt that rhetoric aren't even about that five year plan, shyt, some don't even have a three month plan.
I've talked to "intentional" daters whose five year plan essentially amounts to "idk".
Many people who have been fukking up for 12+ years post high-school, don't suddenly become well adjusted, focused high achieving adults.
I feel like people haven't spent enough time in the field when I read these posts.
I've talked to "intentional" daters whose five year plan essentially amounts to "idk".
Many people who have been fukking up for 12+ years post high-school, don't suddenly become well adjusted, focused high achieving adults.
I feel like people haven't spent enough time in the field when I read these posts.
Rocket Scientist
Superstar
Women dont ask questions for conversation they ask questions to analyze and size you up. Yes there is a time you have to talk about careers,background but a 1st date is suppose to be light and suppose to flow.
I need this shìt here...no more no less...