Coli females ask for a male perspective on relationships thread

[winb83]

This isn't SOHH though

 

[ANewClassic]

Seem like most of you all want a whore in the bed, homemaker, and a career woman who is subservient.

Replace subservient with submissive/mutually respectful of my bf and I can say I found a way to balance this
I enjoy doing all the things listed above so it's not that big of a stretch. I don't want a boring sex life, I enjoy cooking and I can't stand clutter, and I love my job.

 

[Xtraz2]

Because blind people shouldn't be leading blind people.



If I'm so much of one, why do you keep following me around? Press ignore and keep it move

becuz trolls shouldn't be trolling

this is troll patrol

 

[Sierra Mist]

General question to get some dialogue going.

What are some expectations of men now a days.

I ask this because from talking to my male friends and some of their expectations contradict themselves.

Seem like most of you all want a whore in the bed, homemaker, and a career woman who is subservient.

No one knows what they want, which is why it doesn't matter what you do at the end of the day. Someone might be attracted to you for some reason and then detest you for the same exact reason the next week. People are too fickle and temporary for me to take seriously.
Men want Kondoleezza Kardashian and women want Tupac Obama.

 

[BedRoomI'z]

No one knows what they want, which is why it doesn't matter what you do. Someone might be attracted to you for some reason and then detest you for the same exact reason the next week. people are too fickle and temporary for me to take seriously.

This it, right here.

Makes this statement a mantra and remember.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

No one knows what they want, which is why it doesn't matter what you do. Someone might be attracted to you for some reason and then detest you for the same exact reason the next week. people are too fickle and temporary for me to take seriously.

Don't usually agree with this fakkit but this here.

This is probably the more polite and "not make a nikka cry" version of what I'm saying.

No advice matters because people are all different, and there's no way for you to 100% predict human behavior and contrary to popular belief, most people don't even know themselves well enough in the first place to predict how someone perceives them anyway.

 

[Ezigbo Nwanyi]

You have different tiers of men who want different things obviously... but in general, a man would prefer a woman who supports them and can do the aforementioned things, just as a woman would like a man who can make them feel a certain way.

There is so much confusion these days because of politically-motivated societal conditioning, which is training us to desire things that are often in constrast with our natural state. Men typically want a woman that is supportive and can do things like the cooking and cleaning, while women want a strong man that can make her feel safe. Men typically do not desire to have a woman who plays the role of the man, while a woman does not want a man who plays the role of a woman. For example, in reference to a career point, men can appreciate a woman who has a nice career, but that isn't a trait that is as highly valued as a woman who can support and listen to her man. Men have been tasked with playing the role of the provider, so they do not typically seek that characteristic in a woman. Women, on the othre hand, would not value a man who cannot protect her and make her feel safe, because men are geared to be protectors.

In regards to the whore in the bed, men, just like women desire to be pleased sexually. They want a woman to be able to do that, but not do that to EVERYBODY. It's just like if a man took you to dinner, it would mean a lot more if he took just YOU to dinner and bought the expensive champagne... It would be meaningless if you later found out he took another girl to the exact same place the night before, said the exact same things he told you. That would be meaningless. EXCLUSIVITY is what really matters. You appreciate things way more if they are done in a quality way, but you know they are done just for you.

I appreciate the thorough response.

Your avi is refreshing. Feel free to post a pic in our ladies eye candy appreciation thread.

 

[Sierra Mist]

Damn nikkas I never even heard of have to use name calling even to cosign me?

 

[RugbyMan]

No one knows what they want, which is why it doesn't matter what you do at the end of the day. Someone might be attracted to you for some reason and then detest you for the same exact reason the next week. People are too fickle and temporary for me to take seriously.
Men want Kondoleezza Kardashian and women want Tupac Obama.

And I'd take this even further and say that most relationships are built on superficial bullshyt. Especially in America.

 

[FreshFromATL]

General question to get some dialogue going.

What are some expectations of men now a days.

I ask this because from talking to my male friends and some of their expectations contradict themselves.

Seem like most of you all want a whore in the bed, homemaker, and a career woman who is subservient.

 

[msims]

This isn't SOHH though

I just got that.

nikkas gonna be using that "Sohh" shyt forever, I guess.

 

[Rarely-Wrong Liggins]

Men want Kondoleezza Kardashian and women want Tupac Obama.

I said this same shyt earlier and got the face.

 

[Sierra Mist]

And I'd take this even further and say that most relationships are built on superficial bullshyt. Especially in America.

Yup. Guys, work out to get really buff, go to school so you can get a great job so more women find you attractive. Ladies, stay in shape, wear makeup and always have your hair and body on point so more men find you attractive. Play a bunch of "games" with each other instead of being straight forward and getting to know each other. Only show your love interests the positive side of you for a few weeks until you both decide a relationship can work out. Then show how much you love each other by spending money on a bunch of things, like Valentine's Day, dates, engagement rings and weddings above all else. Ironically, the more you have to put a monetary amount on how much you love someone, the less value your love actually has.

I said this same shyt earlier and got the face.

You can't save em all. I'm actually apathetic to the whole thing now.

 

[kevm3]

I've asked it on the other site and i'll ask it here:What role exactly do you ' the individual man' play in a relationship.

Honestly, a lot of how a man will react to you and what he brings to the table depends on the values of the man you are dealing with, how he perceives you and the treatment he receives from you.

Men usually just have a natural desire to be a protector and provider, but in this day and age, he withholds that because he often isn't rewarded for doing so. Why take a woman to dinner and buy her things when just last night she was in the club and took a dude home who got everything without spending a dime?

There used to be a concept of 'defending a woman's honor.' The key word in that equation is honor. A man used to fight over another man just flat out insulting a woman. These days, most men will refuse to do so because he will end up looking stupid. You can't defend the honor of someone who has none.

If you deal with an honorable man and possess honor yourself, then you can get a lot out of a man. However, if you're a roleplayer, you will find that how a man treats you will drastically deteriorate when he discovers what your intentions are.

An honorable man is one whose words match his actions and who actually reciprocates positive behavior. Honor is also defined by honesty, integrity (doing what you say), and engaging in ACTIONS that demonstrate your self-worth. You can't just go out doing everything for any man because you do have a lot of 'game-spitters' who just want every benefit they can get while giving as little in return as possible. Role-players are people who are one way for one person and then a completely other person for another in an attempt to procure a benefit. So if you are playing miss sweet untouched virgin for a man you want to be in a relationship while you are also superfreak for a man you just met in the club, once that is discovered you will gain a reputation and people will treat you accordingly.

Being CONSISTENT and valuing yourself is the key. Also, knowing the value of exclusivity is the key. Men have egos and when we discover another man is getting what you have for significantly less effort than what we're putting in, our whole behavior will change towards you. There were a lot of men that didn't trip at all about paying for dinner, taking their woman shopping, helping pay for her college, etc. These days they are called 'simps'. Why is that? Because a lot of these guys are putting in all of this effort while that same woman is cheating on that guy and rewarding a man who hasn't done any of that.

If men who treated women very well were actually rewarded with exclusivity, then a lot more men would do that. When it comes down to it, a man is results-oriented. We like to do what works and we like to be efficient. If we can get all you have to offer for as low a price as possible, that's what we're going to do. So ultimately, what you will get from a man depends on how you carry yourself, the value of what you have to give and the PRICE at which you are willing to give it. If all it takes for a man to sleep with you is hit you with some conversation and dress reasonably well, that's just the sort of behavior you will receive from a man. If you want a man that offers more, you simply have to preserve yourself and remain consistent. You have to REWARD the behavior you actually want. If you desire a man who is willing to protect you, show his affection towards you and all of that, you have to keep that price up across the board. You can't make one man do all of that to be in a relationship with you and then let another man get it for significantly less effort.

 

[FreshFromATL]

Just from a woman's perspective, just be happy with who you are as a person.
You don't have to look like one of these WorldStar broads to get a quality
mate. Matter of fact do the opposite of all the fukkery you see today and you
will be just fine. No matter if you land a mate or not, because truth be told, all of us are not meant to be in relationships or married , or any of that traditional
bs that the world likes to lord over a woman's head.

Make sure you pay attention to the person who really loves
you the most, you.