Coli Dating Experts: Decipher this email from this new chick I'm talking to. Bushes?

[Chelsea Bridge]

why these broads always want a nikka to think of all these ideas and shyt? a nikka just tryin to do some preliminary bullshyt til he can fukk. lets be real here. on top of doing all that, then the man expected to drive and pay.

I'm glad I dont have to deal with all that bullshyt.

men are perfectly content going to a bar or sports bar. but these broads wanna go here and there and do something new and exciting each time out

That's why she said you men are boring.

My BF took me zip lining, laser tag, hiking, skiing etc..

That's fun, you're boring.

 

[Stuntone]

@Stuntone

First off you come off insecure and like a hamster

Why are you asking about other dudes, and your convo has no, like.. Spark.

2. This broad is boring and comes off like she thinks she's valuable merchandise.

3. Y'all doing WAYYYY too much talking. Paragraphs deep and this is what, email? Cut the bull and shift into a new gear. Get things rolling. I quit reading that stale garbage halfway through.

You're headed for the friendzone unless you light a fire in this.

Here's a tip:

Spoiler

if what you say doesn't apply to one of these five smileys, trashbin it.

Spoiler

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Spoiler

I'm actually serious

Breh this is what you talk about with women??? You talking to a chick you wanna date... about dating??? My nikka for real??? My nikka tease her playfully, make her laugh, be a little arrogant about how great you are. It's EASY breh! I'm not even sure you CAN smash with this display of game. I'm not even trynna play you breh.

Ugh painful to read. The overuse of LOL was the sign for me...She's controlling but will blame you for not being man enough. She probably has the mind set that she's reclaimed her life after a dramatic weight loss and will think she deserves better to the point of crazy expectations.

If she's childless, was a party goer and hob nobber (with her girl who knows the promoters and notable VA men) why did she get so fat? Sounds like a rude thought but with all the dating, clubbin, active mountain climbing she either just has no self control and binged or is making herself seem more interesting than she is. She just wants someone to listen to her talk.

Long ass convo like that....she may have thrown you in the bushes. She probably wanted the D. You shoulda tried to get up after she said it was her birthday. But you keep that very friend like convo

She's cute tho. I'd smash. Nothing she said would make me even think of a relationship without chilling (read fukking) her for a while. She makes it seem that she cut all them dudes she was dating off. I think it's otherwise.

One thing that I've learned is that chicks who talk down on black professional men is that they feel as tho they can't keep them. You mean to tell me every professional dude she dated was wack, but the young deployed chap who was beating them guts was the real deal? And she going to do a photo shoot with him and his fiancé ?

Only one type of chick I know would do some type of shyt like that breh.

das what i'm saying...

irregardless of who or how she is, he frontin like he even has a chance...



your reply here should've been like that all sounds interesting, but ______ night of the week, round 8pm, me and you? and not dat mumbo jumbo shyt.

@Stuntone

First off you come off insecure and like a hamster

Why are you asking about other dudes, and your convo has no, like.. Spark.

2. This broad is boring and comes off like she thinks she's valuable merchandise.

3. Y'all doing WAYYYY too much talking. Paragraphs deep and this is what, email? Cut the bull and shift into a new gear. Get things rolling. I quit reading that stale garbage halfway through.

You're headed for the friendzone unless you light a fire in this.

Here's a tip:

Spoiler

if what you say doesn't apply to one of these five smileys, trashbin it.

Spoiler

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Spoiler

I'm actually serious

Chill, The only reason I'm emailing with her bcuz i'm at work and I can't have a cell here, And I'm on nightshift, she helps my shift go by quick..

The reason I'm not going hard and don't care is because my hands are full with the chicks I have now. I only have 3 days a week to kick it. I'm booked every fukkin weekend. I'm pushing hoez away and lying now to make room for my new chicks.
And this chick is a done deal if I want. She just knows I look nice and I'm tall. She don't my sh:t is legit. I just have to hear her bullshyt and play along. Once she sees my whip and crib. It's a wrap, always is. I've been down this road many of times.

I just like to hear the Coli's opinion.

 

[Ego Noir]

Chill, The only reason I'm emailing with her bciz .i'm at work and I can't have a cell here, that's And I'm on nightshift, she helps my shift go by quick..

The reason I'm not going hard and don't care is because my hands are full with the chicks I have now. I only have 3 days a week to kick it. I'm booked every fukkin weekend. I'm pushing hoez away and lying now to make room for my new chicks.
And this chick is a done deal if I want. She just knows I look nice and I'm tall. So don't I'm balling. I just have to hear her bullshyt and play along. Once she sees my whip and crib. It's a wrap, always is. I've been down this road many of times.

I just like to hear the Coli's opinion.

I understand all that but it's way too much talking. Way too much. About nothing much..

There's a shot clock on these type of things and you're just standing there dribbling.

Either drive to the hole (pun intended) or sub out and get back to it when you're intent on making things happen.

If you stand there still blabbling it just shows you lack balls to up the ante and she's going to get bored.

Then one day she types

Spoiler

youre like a brother to me

 

[Michael's Black Son]

Honestly, she's not cute enough to be worth any trouble. Unless you're getting the "this could be my wife" vibe, I'd advise hit and quit.

this. without even reading all that bullshyt i came to that conclusion by looking at her pics. hit a few times and keep it moving but she doesnt look like a "wife" to me.

 

[Stuntone]

I understand all that but it's way too much talking. Way too much. About nothing much..

There's a shot clock on these type of things and you're just standing there dribbling.

Either drive to the hole (pun intended) or sub out and get back to it when you're intent on making things happen.

If you stand there still blabbling it just shows you lack balls to up the ante and she's going to get bored.

Then one day she types

Spoiler

youre like a brother to me

Nah breh. I just met the chick Sunday. I've been working nights every night since. I'm just picking her brain and let time go by. I don't know how it is where you live, but this is the DMV. If you're a professional Black Male, you just play the successful with any of these "successful" sistas and you're in.

 

[Stuntone]

this. without even reading all that bullshyt i came to that conclusion by looking at her pics. hit a few times and keep it moving but she doesnt look like a "wife" to me.

I'm definitely not trying to wife her. Just same extra warmth for the winter.

 

[Michael's Black Son]

I'm definitely not trying to wife her. Just same extra warmth for the winter.

she seems okay but something in her face screams "annoying" to me. I'm sure she it would be no issue giving her the dack, but youre better off having whatever fun you can with her keeping it light

 

[ReggieFlare]

I understand all that but it's way too much talking. Way too much. About nothing much..

There's a shot clock on these type of things and you're just standing there dribbling.

Either drive to the hole (pun intended) or sub out and get back to it when you're intent on making things happen.

If you stand there still blabbling it just shows you lack balls to up the ante and she's going to get bored.

Then one day she types

Spoiler

youre like a brother to me

Nice analogy

 

[Stuntone]

she seems okay but something in her face screams "annoying" to me. I'm sure she it would be no issue giving her the dack, but youre better off having whatever fun you can with her keeping it light

Only problem, I can tell she wants the girlfriend treatment already. Spending all my time. I don't have much. And I'm dating a new very cooperative young mix chick.

 

[Bsmitty156]

Chill, The only reason I'm emailing with her bcuz i'm at work and I can't have a cell here, And I'm on nightshift, she helps my shift go by quick..

The reason I'm not going hard and don't care is because my hands are full with the chicks I have now. I only have 3 days a week to kick it. I'm booked every fukkin weekend. I'm pushing hoez away and lying now to make room for my new chicks.
And this chick is a done deal if I want. She just knows I look nice and I'm tall. She don't my sh:t is legit. I just have to hear her bullshyt and play along. Once she sees my whip and crib. It's a wrap, always is. I've been down this road many of times.

I just like to hear the Coli's opinion.

Your weakness will be your downfall. I know no one likes the word "dependence" but at this early stage your need for her shouldn't be an option. You need help to get through your shift faster? Read a magazine, write a short story, etc. Keep her guessing and make her wait til later. The instant responses at all hours of night probably empowers the controlling side of her. Put your immediate need of entertainment on hold.

 

[Michael's Black Son]

Only problem, I can tell she wants the girlfriend treatment already. Spending all my time. I don't have much. And I'm dating a new very cooperative young mix chick.

if youre not ready/dont want a GF then dont let it get to that point. you can be upfront with her and trust that she will respect that shyt or lead her on because you just wanna have fun and beat. but dont feel pressured just because it might seem like youre gonna miss out on something by not locking it down.

 

[Dwolf]

Spoiler

Me:
And how has dating been for you in the dc area?

Her:
I spend my weekends doing lots of random stuff or shooting weddings.

Dating in DC. Year one I always went out, met lots of guys, went one a few first dates but nothing more bc everyone was superficial and boring or just plain inappropriate. I ended up dating one younger guy until he deployed to Afghanistan. We are still friends but he's now engaged. I'm supposed to do his engagement photos actually lol. Amicable parting as all my former relationships tend to be. Year two I was in a relationship.... with a guy who had liked me before i even moved here. Well known guy from VA. It was interesting. And without divulging too much info it was enough to make me not want to date for a year. So the year just recently became up and I decided to ease back into it. It goes. I dont go out places where I meet too many men these days bc I'm not into that scene right now but I do tend to make connections just because I'm nice and talk to people. Folks always try to introduce me to people too. I figure when I meet him I'll know. I havent been too impressed lately bc everyone is "my car" this, "my salary" that blah blah. So boring. Lol
I think your perspective on dating here is different from mine because you are a guy. The ladies are very interesting and accomplished. The men are very boring and accomplished. LOL!

Me:
Yes, dating here is different. You have to be prepared and open to meeting some very interesting people. So you can't tell me who you were dating? What he's like a local celebrity or a rapper or something? I don't know many famous people frm Virginia.

Her:
I didn't say I couldn't tell you. And no he wasn't famous. Perhaps I should say he knew many people? Anywho, who he is is of no circumstance and I tend to not talk about my previous relationships because you take the things you learn and keep it moving.

Me:
Lol Oh ok. You really believe women are that much more interesting then men? I can't generalize or say what's the problem is. I don't have a lot of dating experience up here, I was in a long relationship as soon as I moved up here. I do hear a lot of complaining and finger-pointing coming from both side. I'm still shocked by how many single people are in this area, especially Black.

Her:
LOL!!! Honestly no I don't, but I was trying to explain the difference in our perspectives. Surprised by how many women there are in DC on match? It's a gold mine right? Yeah... on the flip side there's like no black men on match and a nice bit of white men who are like "ehhhh bump it I'll date a black girl" and so you see a lot of black women with white men in this area.

Why is it like that? I think there's a professional black man drought here (pure numbers) and a surplus of women who won't date a blue collar man for instance. My church has become a haven for women on the prowl in their best designer gear. It's funny. Personally, it will come for me. I'm not forcing it, I've never been a serial dater. I take breaks in between relationships because THAT'S when you really learn yourself. It's like taking the bar after you graduate from law school. LOL. The day I can find someone who wants to take pictures with me on a mountain after a three mile hike to see a waterfall and be content I think I will have success (something I want to do in April). Right now I can't find that in men I date. It is what it is, it doesn't make them bad, it doesn't make me a catch.

So I really should be at the gym and I'm just up e-mailing. I'm taking it easy for now. It's my birthday. :o)

Me:
Happy Birthday !!! That's funny about the women on the prowl at your church. My last job was like that, it was like happy hour @ The Park. Too funny! People get lonely up here. I feel like people aren't suppose to be alone. So what do the men you date want? Personally I'm open and flexible with people I date. I let them be themselves and see them for who they are.

Her:
LOL thanks. And I hate happy hour at park but I think it's because I was partying up here and at park since like 2009. I never had to wait in line because my girl knew all the promoters. Fun times but I'm tired of the scene here because it went from young and fresh to pretentious. I have also changed a lot. I used to be one of those designer girls, super long weave, teeny tiny dresses. And while I am working on getting my teeny tiny dress body back (I went from a size 16 to a size 6 in 2010) I am a much different person. As I should be. Everyone should evolve.

The men I come in contact with don't tend to take the reigns and think of things to do. I usually have to have all the ideas which I don't like because that's my role at work too. At a certain point I get tired of leading. I feel like as a lady sometimes I wouldn't mind being led if that makes sense. Anyway, I have a few male friends (who are just friends, usually frat) that I hang out with and we do random stuff like museum hop, go to wizards or nationals games, run around take pictures, go to the mountains and get cornered by bears (true story). That's what I like. I am a foodie too so I enjoy fine/creative dining. I really don't like going to the movies or watching movies with people I am trying to get to know. And if someone invites me to their home too soon I'll probably just stop speaking with them. Anywho, I allow people to be themselves but if it doesn't click with me I am not going to tell myself it does. And the clicking has to do with a short attention span. LOL



Coli, Bushes ? Or ignore her nonsense and smash?


See seems like that type that never admit her wrong doing and flaws. Let these DC women tell it, they're perfect catches and men aint shyt. A lot of times you have to ignore everything these chicks say and all their foolishness goes away.

Pics of how fat her ass is?

 

[Rich Spirit]

of what I thought of the conversation

 

[Stuntone]

Your weakness will be your downfall. I know no one likes the word "dependence" but at this early stage your need for her shouldn't be an option. You need help to get through your shift faster? Read a magazine, write a short story, etc. Keep her guessing and make her wait til later. The instant responses at all hours of night probably empowers the controlling side of her. Put your immediate need of entertainment on hold.

I don't think you understand. THIS IS DC. If you dress nice, have a nice car and crib. Ain't many of these "successful, strong" Black women you can't have. You just have to have patience to play along and let their BS roll off your shoulders. I've been here 8 years, I've done this dance dozens of times and it never feels.

1st date: Take her to get coffee and walk around the musuems for free
2nd date: Dave n Busters on the 2nd
3rd date: Movie, bar, crib. Smash

If not, fall back and let her miss you and realize she's lonely as sh:t. And she'll deliver the goods on the 4th or 5th.

 

[Arcavian]

Friendzoned ass convos