Yep.
Black men always have the most rigged and superficial standards possible to be compared by. If we fall short by any metric, we are classified as "boring" just cause we don't do the same shyt as a celebrity.
Black Woman Blames White Universities For NOT Hooking Them Up With White MEN
- Thread starter TheAnointedOne
- Start date
Yep.
Black men always have the most rigged and superficial standards possible to be compared by. If we fall short by any metric, we are classified as "boring" just cause we don't do the same shyt as a celebrity.
TheAnointedOne
Superstar
That’s where it starts. Black families call you fast so you don’t learn to date while you’re under your parents’ roof. That’s exactly when you should start dating, experiencing puppy love, learning what is/isn’t appropriate or weird, so when you’re out in college you aren’t literally operating off of advice from stupid friends and social media.
Bumblebreh
Collecting honey and money
The replies in this thread are just as bad as the article.
Even Steve Harvey's simp azz tapped out. When you have the male enablers tap out, you jumped the shark on rational expectations. All that shyt, and you want that same high-end man to be loyal to a SINGLE overweight, emotional mess of a woman, AND not other broads?
I read this thread, and the lsa thread. And what is being said, ain’t even sad anymore. That gender war gonna gender war.
TheAnointedOne
Superstar
Good catch
At the height of national interest regarding police brutality against black men, this is what her focus was. Sexual and romantic relations with white men. They get passed around by cacs throughout university then at the end with no ring to show for it, they want to bark down black men's neck or reform as blickity black to catch a simp
She's deleting some pics off her IG. I think she's reading this thread.
Chrishaune
Veteran
I feel you, sis.
So…
You know I’ve shared my thoughts about issues in our community on BOTH SIDES quite liberally on this site so no one can say I’m a man hater or full on “pick me”, but the thing that Black girls are missing is the instruction from elder Black women.
The actual game regardless of race: lock down a productive man of whatever race before you’re no longer consider “young” (25/30/35 depending on culture).
Humanity values us when we are young, pretty and can get pregnant. That’s our peak value to society, because that’s our peak value to men who are strangers who may desire us. And this is a man’s world.
See how when some brehs get their money up, they say “Well my money gives me access to all the beautiful women who want me because of my money and success” ?
Well, being young and cute is us having our money up. That’s why fitness culture is a billion/trillion dollar industry. That’s why beauty is a trillion dollar industry. Everyone’s focused on chasing youth and beauty because that’s how society values women.
The only men who have ever seriously cared about my education were men who NEEDED a woman to help them. There are some dudes who want to be a power couple a la the Obamas, but keeping it- that’s so few people of any race.
When you have a young pretty daughter, no one is tripping off her education. You get an education because that’s the thing to do during your youth to occupy your time. It fills up an otherwise empty head (for both sexes) lol. You have an education so you aren’t a complete idiot raising your babies and can guide them through school, but that’s not what draws men to us.
Truth is, if the guys in your age bracket/school aren’t biting, you have to fix your look: drop weight, fix your style, maybe date a little older. <— That’s the advice older women used to give.
“There are no ugly women, just lazy women” (meaning you haven’t put the work in to improve your look). Because ultimately that’s what society values about us.
When you’re young and pretty, that’s when you strike. And if the guys who bite are successful, upwardly mobile, but aren’t your race- you just go for it.
WE don’t get the benefit of time that men get. Our families are supposed to have that talk with us.
I promise that talk isn’t happening in a lot of Black families. It didn’t happen in mine and I have a bunch of married older folks in my family.
Part of the reason I post on here when it comes to this topic is because I don’t think brehs understand that the “Black Family” isn’t actually guiding girls the way other races guide girls.
Like ol girl stated in the article “When Black girls go to school, it’s to secure our families”. WE have the world placed on our shoulders by the ppl who are supposed to be pushing us out of their house into our husband’s house.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with going to school. But the truth is equal focus is supposed to be placed on finding a man. THAT is the truth.
Other girls go to school to find a man. The “Mrs Degree” is how you attach yourself to a man who is going to make you a housewife. You find him before you’re out of school so you don’t actually have to work LOL
THAT is what OUR families don’t tell us.
There is a lot of trauma in our community and this is part of it.
Children aren’t supposed to be worried about their parents’ finances. Especially a girl-child.
NOW- being pragmatic, yes you get your education because if your hubby dies, leaves you for someone else, etc that degree will keep you afloat and allow you to re-establish yourself. If you’re really smart you still maintain a career or find a way to work part time so you still have work experience to add to your CV if you need to find work down the line.
The difference between men and women is that a bum off the street can get his life together by 40 and find some woman who will accept his background. A young beautiful woman can have nothing and attach herself to damn near any man who thinks she’s pretty and her job is done (until it possibly ends).
Young broke men don’t have leverage and older women don’t have leverage. That’s the real, and that’s why families are supposed to tell their children.
Black girls don’t get the memo.
Now- we also need young Black men who are on track with all the other racial groups who are ready to propose at younger ages as well!!!
Add in racist hiring practices, drugs/crack in the 80s, public assistance, men wrapped up in the drug/crime game, men in jail, young men chasing sports and entertainment instead of practical employment goals, young men not being focused on family building and endlessly playing the dating game (having a “rotation” of women), young men not coming from families that can help them become established at an earlier age, horrible influences of Hiphop culture, horrible influences of pimp culture (because men LOOOOOVE all that iceberg slim, pimp imagery shyt) etc.
Like, the guys in my fam were all educated Black men who bought homes @ 30. Their parents gave them those down payments as gifts! You can’t be set like that by 28/30 on your own unless you really grind and hit the ground running after doing STEM or getting into a good trade after high school.
But as a young woman- your concern is the best man for the job. Hopefully he’s Black, but if they don’t find you attractive go with who does find you attractive.
The Black nerdy girls who got the memo just got with white or Asian nerds.
The problem is black folks trying to fit into a European dominated society that doesn't value you. I see black women at jobs used as guard dogs everyday. Is that attractive to black men, NOPE. Black men see it for what it is. This woman isn't my ally. She's an agent of chaos for the destruction of the community.
What should have happened beyond Civil Rights was a focus on building pockets of black communities that had sustainable industry to keep the community afloat. At this point the community is dead, because it can't support itself, and a lot of this was done on purpose by the government, CIA, FBI, etc. Most black people are truly going to have to look at getting out of this country if they want their descendants to survive and thrive with people that look like them. Working for European controlled companies or Asian controlled companies is not the way. African descendant people are a naturally agricultural people. That's why we were brought here. When you get away from what GOD naturally put inside of you, you are doing something that will lead you astray.
Most black men grew up attracted to black women, but over the years found out black American women's standards don't fit their view of life. They want to live like Europeans when we know you won't have the same experience as Europeans in this country. They chase that at PWIs and ignore the black brothas at those same PWIs trying to make a way for themselves. Instead of making it known to those brothas that they want a relationship with them, they sit back most of the time and expect these young men to decipher their silence.
Yeah, black families didn't prepare their young people like they needed to, but we have to think about why that happens. Most black fathers are pushed out of the house. Most black women don't emphasize finding a black husband young. You said this above yourself. Then you have a culture of women who don't want to be told what to do in their sexual life. They don't view arranged situations positively, when that can keep them from being alone for the majority of their life above 30....When in actuality before you leave high school, a majority of people should have been introduced to the person they can potentially marry. You're supposed to build together.
Yea I don’t know why she put that out there. Tell the world your parents’ child is getting used for sex[Craine, who dated intra- and interracially, said she had several experiences where she would casually date men who would tell her they weren't looking for something serious, only to see them in a relationship with a non-Black woman later. "They pretty much only wanted sex when it came to me," she said.]
@Gloxina I appreciate the reply but I honestly didn't read it all. We can have the conversation privately if you'd like but honestly the same talking points and relationships dynamics that work for other groups of women don’t necessarily apply to bw. Again we can talk about it privately if you want. If not, I leave it there.
I love most of what you’re saying. But the bold is where the problems start. Why does everything come down to telling women what to do? Women live and navigate through this world and have learned that many men are not serious and aren’t marriage minded. So women can’t shoulder all the blame, and men can also be told what to do in their sexual life and to practice more discipline. They don’t have to smash every woman they come across. They act insulted if women refuse sex but then turn around and judge women for having sex. And this is the reason many women choose to do what they want. Because men will do them and have something to say regardless
