Concerning VIolence
Decolonizer
Glad to see all the trolls getting their posts removed.
Black men, vulnerability and depression.
- Thread starter Prynce
- Start date
Paradise50
Superstar
Just had a long convo over the phone with my friend after reading this topic. We both got to vent, thanks to everyone
that's what's up...nothing wrong w/ having that real vent as black men. Letting go of that stress build up is therapeutic.
Just talk to a mental health counselor. They'll listen, and help you think things through. Hell, they're good at teaching different ways of thinking/coping. You don't have to go directly to a psychiatrist. That's literally a last resort thing when all else isn't working, or if you're having suicidal thoughts.
I grew up with both parents but my father had a rough childhood, he was pretty wild/bad so his mom sent him to live with his aunt/uncle in South Central LA during the late 60s / 70s. I joke about him being a founding member of the Crips because he knew Tookie, but he basically raised me not to show weakness because of how & where he grew up, as a result I don't really let anyone know how I'm feeling.
I'm open with my family to a certain point, I let them know I love them but outside of that people are always asking me if I'm good or not. I don't suffer from depression, I did go through it in the past because of a career I hated which led me to traveling a lot, but I'm pretty steady in how I feel. The only person I tell is my woman, and it took me forever to really open up to her, she knows I'm aloof and deals with it cause I can listen to other people's problems all day if I care about them. That aloofness is the worst too, because of the fact it's basically ended all my other relationships with women, I just reach a certain point where I'm like
and just don't feel like being in it anymore. I hope that doesn't happen with her, cause there's so much history and time, but I can't guarantee it because it's a personality flaw I have and I'm guessing it's from how I was raised.
I'm open with my family to a certain point, I let them know I love them but outside of that people are always asking me if I'm good or not. I don't suffer from depression, I did go through it in the past because of a career I hated which led me to traveling a lot, but I'm pretty steady in how I feel. The only person I tell is my woman, and it took me forever to really open up to her, she knows I'm aloof and deals with it cause I can listen to other people's problems all day if I care about them. That aloofness is the worst too, because of the fact it's basically ended all my other relationships with women, I just reach a certain point where I'm like
and just don't feel like being in it anymore. I hope that doesn't happen with her, cause there's so much history and time, but I can't guarantee it because it's a personality flaw I have and I'm guessing it's from how I was raised.
Please sharpen this an make a piece on it. Medium or other sites.One of the hardest things about being a black man are emotions and vulnerabilities. You can't appear weak to anybody other than maybe your mother(even then depending on your mother she might give you the).
If you show weakness with your boys you'll get clowned or a nikka might try you. If you weak around a female your a weak ass man and not a leader. Black men are in a literal catch 22. We live in a system and country that places centuries of truma on us and we have to deal with it but if we act like nomal human beings with emotions were weak and become food.
Just crazy to me people don't realize the pressure that is placed on black boys from a very young age. The expectation of being the man of the house, protector and provider is given to a lot of us before we're even old enough to understand what being a man is even about. Then most of us grow up with no fathers so we have to figure out how to be a man on our own. With nobody to even listen to us or help guide us through this thing we're up against.
A lot of black men just want understanding and to feel secure just like everbody else. But unfortunately we're not afforded that privilege.
A lot of people simply don't know how to be a man in a society that wasn't meant for us. A lot people have their ideas of what being a man is but the truth is in the black community we don't know.
So let's have a discussion brehs what are some struggle you have as a man?
For me I struggle with anxiety and mild depression. A lot of it stems from just being a kid trying to find his place in harsh environment and looking for acceptance from people I'm just not like. I'm a lot better and doing great for myself because of just being very fortunate in life. I am very lucky to have the opportunities in life and that has made me very happy recently. But I never forget how deep I was last summer in the blackest depression I've ever felt. But I learned a lot from that time. I can honestly say I'm a lot better in life and as a man because of that pain. I really found myself and learned that I have to be me.
So what about y'all?
Thank you for sharing this.
I tell people, young black boys tend I grow up in a way where they aren't scared of anyone - it's a survival mechanic.
However, they are afraid of vulnerability. We need to encourage our boys and men to not suppress normal human feelings.
Great shyt.
I applaud you for making this thread .One of the hardest things about being a black man are emotions and vulnerabilities. You can't appear weak to anybody other than maybe your mother(even then depending on your mother she might give you the
If you show weakness with your boys you'll get clowned or a nikka might try you. If you weak around a female your a weak ass man and not a leader. Black men are in a literal catch 22. We live in a system and country that places centuries of truma on us and we have to deal with it but if we act like nomal human beings with emotions were weak and become food.
Just crazy to me people don't realize the pressure that is placed on black boys from a very young age. The expectation of being the man of the house, protector and provider is given to a lot of us before we're even old enough to understand what being a man is even about. Then most of us grow up with no fathers so we have to figure out how to be a man on our own. With nobody to even listen to us or help guide us through this thing we're up against.
A lot of black men just want understanding and to feel secure just like everbody else. But unfortunately we're not afforded that privilege.
A lot of people simply don't know how to be a man in a society that wasn't meant for us. A lot people have their ideas of what being a man is but the truth is in the black community we don't know.
So let's have a discussion brehs what are some struggle you have as a man?
For me I struggle with anxiety and mild depression. A lot of it stems from just being a kid trying to find his place in harsh environment and looking for acceptance from people I'm just not like. I'm a lot better and doing great for myself because of just being very fortunate in life. I am very lucky to have the opportunities in life and that has made me very happy recently. But I never forget how deep I was last summer in the blackest depression I've ever felt. But I learned a lot from that time. I can honestly say I'm a lot better in life and as a man because of that pain. I really found myself and learned that I have to be me.
So what about y'all?
Jean Jacket
NOPE
Follow examples of men that live with attention to results. We all live and die. To be immortal and true, our works live on through our survivors. Integrity and conviction of purpose are key elements of manhood.
SuperNintendo Chalmers
Send it to the friggin moon idiot
This thread proves why Black men need to nurture and develop spaces for true brotherhood and why mental health shiiod be taken seriously in our community.
We all go through and deal with a lot.
It reminds me of this quote from Bro. Malcom.
"We black men have a hard enough time in our own struggle for justice, and already have enough enemies as it is, to make the drastic mistake of attacking each other and adding more weight to an already unbearable load."
We all go through and deal with a lot.
It reminds me of this quote from Bro. Malcom.
"We black men have a hard enough time in our own struggle for justice, and already have enough enemies as it is, to make the drastic mistake of attacking each other and adding more weight to an already unbearable load."
I'll add my two cents 
My parents divorced when I was six and my dad went back to Philly. I had no family around other than my mom.
My mom cried every day/night for years. Meanwhile I'm trying to figure out why dad is around to play Mortal Kombat anymore
Long story short, mom retreated into herself and dad wasn't around for months at a time. When he showed, I would see him every other Saturday.
My parents both worked two jobs to chase "The Dream". That didn't leave much time for me. Word to @CashmereEsquire
So I was raised by the tv and had no one to talk to growing up. About anything.
I stopped hanging out with the kids on the block (they would come by to play, but I would tell em no. Then eventually I just stopped answering the door)
So I was dealing with depression for most of my life. Mom was emotionally distant, she would come home angry and take it out on me.
If I tried to stand up for myself, she would call dad and he would always take her side. I was repeatedly asked what the hell is wrong with me.
Dad told me all the time how I "looked weak" (mom sometimes made dinner and it was always small. If I was still hungry, "drink more water"), why is my face all messed up (had acne, found out it was Rosacea years later)
I started to hate everything, including myself.
Parents had alot of fights where my dad would say to my mom that she "fukked me up" and it's her fault I'm failing at school.
My daily routine was go to school, say few words, go home and play on whatever game console I had at the time. It was my only escape.
It was also the primary way I communicated with people, I wasn't around alot of people (mom rarely left the house) so my social skills were
Dad remarried and when I would go over to his house, my stepbrother would bully me the entire time I was there. I even got beat for something HE did
I had "friends" but I was always the one people told everything to. I never had a friend like that myself, so I kept everything inside. Never knew what a dream was, had no goals, no aspirations.
I've been a loner forever now.
If you asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, my answer was nothing. I couldn't see myself living that long to be honest.
.
...
I can't tell you what drives me on.
I never felt love from my parents (they say "I love you" but it's always felt hollow to me), never had really good friends, never had a positive relationship with a woman, list goes on.
When you say you want to better yourself (I wanted to go to automotive school) and your mom laughs in your face telling you "You won't make it", you realize it really is just you out here.
These days shes having seizures and losing her memory. Dad says "take care of mom". He shows up to the hospital when I call em.
He can't look at her when shes like a zombie though. Like a coward.
Feel blessed if you have decent parents out here fam. Mine didn't prepare me for anything. They helped me when I absolutely needed it and I still love em,
But I had to start from the negatives in this race of life.
Guess I'm a struggler at heart
Had to vent
TL;DR I understand the pain.
My parents divorced when I was six and my dad went back to Philly. I had no family around other than my mom.
My mom cried every day/night for years. Meanwhile I'm trying to figure out why dad is around to play Mortal Kombat anymore
Long story short, mom retreated into herself and dad wasn't around for months at a time. When he showed, I would see him every other Saturday.
My parents both worked two jobs to chase "The Dream". That didn't leave much time for me. Word to @CashmereEsquire
So I was raised by the tv and had no one to talk to growing up. About anything.
I stopped hanging out with the kids on the block (they would come by to play, but I would tell em no. Then eventually I just stopped answering the door)
So I was dealing with depression for most of my life. Mom was emotionally distant, she would come home angry and take it out on me.
If I tried to stand up for myself, she would call dad and he would always take her side. I was repeatedly asked what the hell is wrong with me.
Dad told me all the time how I "looked weak" (mom sometimes made dinner and it was always small. If I was still hungry, "drink more water"), why is my face all messed up (had acne, found out it was Rosacea years later)
I started to hate everything, including myself.
Parents had alot of fights where my dad would say to my mom that she "fukked me up" and it's her fault I'm failing at school.
My daily routine was go to school, say few words, go home and play on whatever game console I had at the time. It was my only escape.
It was also the primary way I communicated with people, I wasn't around alot of people (mom rarely left the house) so my social skills were
Dad remarried and when I would go over to his house, my stepbrother would bully me the entire time I was there. I even got beat for something HE did
I had "friends" but I was always the one people told everything to. I never had a friend like that myself, so I kept everything inside. Never knew what a dream was, had no goals, no aspirations.
I've been a loner forever now.
If you asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, my answer was nothing. I couldn't see myself living that long to be honest.
....
I can't tell you what drives me on.
I never felt love from my parents (they say "I love you" but it's always felt hollow to me), never had really good friends, never had a positive relationship with a woman, list goes on.
When you say you want to better yourself (I wanted to go to automotive school) and your mom laughs in your face telling you "You won't make it", you realize it really is just you out here.
These days shes having seizures and losing her memory. Dad says "take care of mom". He shows up to the hospital when I call em.
He can't look at her when shes like a zombie though. Like a coward.
Feel blessed if you have decent parents out here fam. Mine didn't prepare me for anything. They helped me when I absolutely needed it and I still love em,
But I had to start from the negatives in this race of life.
Guess I'm a struggler at heart
Had to vent
TL;DR I understand the pain.
Concerned Citizen
HxH, LoSH 5YG, WW, DS9, IYKYK
Damn I wanna give all my black brothers in this thread a hug 
We gon make it brehs. Stay strong
We gon make it brehs. Stay strong
it is im actually glad