Black men, vulnerability and depression.

[Rawtid]

Yeah, that's the problem. You figured it out. Close the thread guys.

You’re on the henny early.

 

[Rarely-Wrong Liggins]

You’re on the henny early.

I wish.

 

[ShadowBroker]

A lot of Black men CHOOSE not to share their issues with the people that legit care for them. Would rather deteriorate than be seen as emotionally vulnerable. People only care about what you allow them to care about. You front like you’re ok or refuse to discuss and you get what you get.

I think its a lot more than what youre saying tho. A lot of the Black men in this thread are saying they are being dismissed, not taken seriously, or overlooked when they express themselves or show vulnerability. That has led them to stifle their emotions which not only affects them but Black women as well. it should be a BWs concern to see that BM are mentally sound. Just like BW have our own issues in regards to how people perceive us to be "strong BW" and our mental health is never really considered, so do BM have an unfair burden placed upon them.

 

[Rawtid]

I think its a lot more than what youre saying tho. A lot of the Black men in this thread are saying they are being dismissed, not taken seriously, or overlooked when they express themselves or show vulnerability. That has led them to stifle their emotions which not only affects them but Black women as well. it should be a BWs concern to see that BM are mentally sound. Just like BW have our own issues in regards to how people perceive us to be "strong BW" and our mental health is never really considered, so do BM have an unfair burden placed upon them.

I agree with what you're saying and as a person that suffers from depression, it doesn't take very many people to disregard my feelings before I give up. I also had the blanket thought that no one cared and I should handle it myself. Depression has no cure so you have to CHOOSE everyday to do what's in your best mental interest and more often than not, it's releasing your vulnerability and discussing what's bothering you and you can't limit that to JUST a therapist or people in your circle.

 

[cocoabutter27]

Personal disclosure: I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in NC. I have had the honor of having black male clients of all ages. I agree, it is very difficult for them to open up and feel comfortable, but it can be done. Black men feel they have to wear a mask and keep it together, while literally dying inside. If you are suffering definitely try a therapist. If you are nervous about going to someone in your community, check out online therapy. But do something...you have to take care of yourself.

 

[SirReginald]

Man I can relate to y'all and I'd always seek people like us out just to befriend them and give them hope because I know how it feels to be alone in this struggle.

I've been fukked up since my parents would constantly argue in front of me. The environment was hostile and my mom even held a knife to my dads face once and as a youngin I shouted at my mom not to do it crying. I went from happy kid to depressed, quiet, and crying myself to sleep every night. I never in my life entertained the thought of marrying or starting a family so much that I eventually sabotaged every relationship I had probably because of my messed up household. My mom cheated on my dad in front of us and that's probably why I expect females to cheat and don't think much of it and even cheat on them first "just in case".

I had trouble embracing my individuality because I grew up in a predominately black community and I'd get called "gay" a lot for liking different music and playing instruments and being intelligent in class. I had low self esteem due to my household events and never really stood up for myself And was just withdrawn. I've seen over 10 therapists since 8 years old in my life and none of them helped me. Since elementary school, I'd get caught writing suicide notes and disturbing shyt and it was a silent cry for help, but my pops passed me along to other therapists but never talked to me himself. He was a great provider, but he never established that emotional bond with me and that's what I needed...not some random Jewish therapist. My dad got custody of me and my brother (whose relationship also diminished with me since I've been withdrawn), and my dad would work and I was raised by the internet pretty much after that.

I dropped out of college eventually and got into substance abuse and shooting heroin and any painkillers I can get into my arm. Most definitely the darkest times of my life and I've attempted to kill myself a few times.
I Was living alone like this for years. My dad got sick and was in the hospital. My mom was nearby but couldn't help. She felt a lot of regret for fukkin up my childhood.
I eventually couldn't afford the bills for the house and got kicked out because of my drug habit diminishing my funds and moved in with my mom who also eventually kicked me out and couldn't take it anymore. My only route was homelessness or rehab, so I went to rehab. After rehab, my mom still wouldn't accept me back home so I flew 10 hours away to another state and went to another rehab there and got clean. It was a predominately white community and i didn't know that, but it was covered by insurance and I was broke. I made it work and got a job and left sober living to live with a roommate.

Bought a car and all that good stuff, got a girlfriend who was my only confidant and she genuinely tried to help me with all my problems, but she couldn't solve me and we broke up. Now I'm seeking out black friends and a black community that try to better themselves because the few black people in this area don't even acknowledge each other and I'm sick of dealing with the struggles being the only black person around white people. Once again, I'm looking for a therapist, but a black male because I haven't had a black male figure to bond with in my life. I'm stuck depressed and always oscillating between suicide and progress.

I need consistency in my life. I need to do better, but the cycles in my life are always the same. I have no family around me, no one to completely relate to, and I don't know if i want to die or thrive brehs.

I'm at this point too breh. Especially, with seeking out the AA community and feeling shunned, but it's different for me.

 

[Paradise50]

Personal disclosure: I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in NC. I have had the honor of having black male clients of all ages. I agree, it is very difficult for them to open up and feel comfortable, but it can be done. Black men feel they have to wear a mask and keep it together, while literally dying inside. If you are suffering definitely try a therapist. If you are nervous about going to someone in your community, check out online therapy. But do something...you have to take care of yourself.

People don't realize how valuable just basic coping skills are. Many don't have them (ie: people constantly ranting/venting/complaining on fb)

 

[Dont@Me]

I'm at this point too breh. Especially, with seeking out the AA community and feeling shunned, but it's different for me.

Really feels like I don't completely fit in anywhere.

 

[Black Bolt]

Black people really don't seem to have much support in the US.
My

I had to drive an hour and a half to find a black male therapist that I clicked with this week. I have to work some things out in my schedule to see him, but I'd like to regardless of the distance.

That's how I be feelin most days

Just a suggestion but maybe you could Skype him every now and then on days you don't feel like making that drive

 

[Afro]

Black people really don't seem to have much support in the US.
My

I had to drive an hour and a half to find a black male therapist that I clicked with this week. I have to work some things out in my schedule to see him, but I'd like to regardless of the distance.

That's how I be feelin most days

Maybe I should look again,

Good luck on your journey

 

[Fandroid]

A lot of Black men CHOOSE not to share their issues with the people that legit care for them. Would rather deteriorate than be seen as emotionally vulnerable. People only care about what you allow them to care about. You front like you’re ok or refuse to discuss and you get what you get.

Meh. You don't get it.

Yeah, that's the problem. You figured it out. Close the thread guys.

 

[Rawtid]

Meh. You don't get it.

Nah, you don’t get it.

 

[Fandroid]

Nah, you don’t get it.

Nah, you sound like victim-blaming.

"It's their fault".

shyt's deeper than whatever you've conjured in your head.

 

[Blessings]

Well said!

 

[BlaKcMoney]

Seek the Most High, manage your money wisely, workout, read, stay fresh and things aren't as depressing

When you're broke everything is depressing