Black men, vulnerability and depression.

[Dont@Me]

We're in a similar mind state, can't find a black male therapist within 100 miles of me, surrounded by white folks.

I try to speak to other black folks at work because I know they aren't on that dumb shyt, but the white coworkers be saying shyt under their breath if there's more than a few of us talking together. Disgusting man.

Might not mean much but you got my support homie, I keep going because it's all I know how to do anymore. The more I learn about what America has done and will do makes me want to live longer to spite em.

But even all that bravado doesn't hide the fact that sometimes I feel so overwhelmed, that I break into tears while driving to and from work

Thank you for replying.

the field of therapy is dominated by women. Males are hard enough to find. A BLACK male therapist is damned near IMPOSSIBLE. I wish we had more representation in that realm and I wonder why we don't.

I'd love to want to live longer to spite the people who hate me, but I'm just wondering if it's worth the amount of suffering i've already endured, plus more that is yet to come. I really don't know man. I've come too far to quit, but sometimes it does sound nice.

shyt is not healthy to be just randomly breaking out crying in your car. Why we gotta live like this? I want to bust out into tears of sadness or anger randomly as well and as usual, I just stuff it and gulp it down which isn't healthy either.

 

[Cel 510 kid ados forever]

It's a problem very few people in our community address

 

[Paradise50]

I work in Psych so I'm very open and understanding of a lot. If any of you all need someone to talk to then just PM me.

 

[videogamestashbox.com]

One of the hardest things about being a black man are emotions and vulnerabilities. You can't appear weak to anybody other than maybe your mother(even then depending on your mother she might give you the ).

If you show weakness with your boys you'll get clowned or a nikka might try you. If you weak around a female your a weak ass man and not a leader. Black men are in a literal catch 22. We live in a system and country that places centuries of truma on us and we have to deal with it but if we act like nomal human beings with emotions were weak and become food.

Just crazy to me people don't realize the pressure that is placed on black boys from a very young age. The expectation of being the man of the house, protector and provider is given to a lot of us before we're even old enough to understand what being a man is even about. Then most of us grow up with no fathers so we have to figure out how to be a man on our own. With nobody to even listen to us or help guide us through this thing we're up against.

A lot of black men just want understanding and to feel secure just like everbody else. But unfortunately we're not afforded that privilege.

A lot of people simply don't know how to be a man in a society that wasn't meant for us. A lot people have their ideas of what being a man is but the truth is in the black community we don't know.

So let's have a discussion brehs what are some struggle you have as a man?

For me I struggle with anxiety and mild depression. A lot of it stems from just being a kid trying to find his place in harsh environment and looking for acceptance from people I'm just not like. I'm a lot better and doing great for myself because of just being very fortunate in life. I am very lucky to have the opportunities in life and that has made me very happy recently. But I never forget how deep I was last summer in the blackest depression I've ever felt. But I learned a lot from that time. I can honestly say I'm a lot better in life and as a man because of that pain. I really found myself and learned that I have to be me.

So what about y'all?

(Time stamped for convenience)



"journal of the insane vol 1 No. 1"
(can't find it)

https://books.google.com/books?id=XFPFBQAAQBAJ&pg=PT36&dq=racism+and+psychology&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjy0-em08fWAhVByyYKHX8MBrkQ6AEIODAD#v=onepage&q=racism and psychology&f=false




​

 

[Wear My Dawg's Hat]

Finally a thread with some substance.

The most neglected individual in society is the black boy. Not only must he jump through leaps and bounds to avoid the cracks that society has already placed ahead of him, but he must also deny his individuality for the sake of "fitting" into a very destructive culture.

Is there another species on Earth expected to raise themselves from birth the way
the American black boy is expected to do so?

The American black boy is now born into adulthood. There is no longer a developmental process for him.

We address our boys as men: "Wassup, lil' man?" Moms boasting: "That's my lil' man..."

You can't fix a problem if you don't believe there is one there to begin with.

 

[Karb]

I've always hated opening up to people and talking about emotions. It's been years since I last tried that and I don't plan on doing it again.

Most people just give captain obvious responses to get on with their day and think they're actually doing something supportive from my experience or they simply don't care.

A lot of times I feel better about thinking on my own and I would be even more frustrated after talking to people since it felt like they just wasted my time. Maybe talking to a professional is better but the average person sucks at giving advice or helping with emotional support.

Maybe you dudes have people that actually give good advice and support, but every body doesn't have that luxury so that's why some people don't bother with opening up

How would you like someone to respond, breh? Serious question.

Should they just listen and try to relate?

Everyone else is also free to answer.

 

[Black Magisterialness]

One of the hardest things about being a black man are emotions and vulnerabilities. You can't appear weak to anybody other than maybe your mother(even then depending on your mother she might give you the ).

If you show weakness with your boys you'll get clowned or a nikka might try you. If you weak around a female your a weak ass man and not a leader. Black men are in a literal catch 22. We live in a system and country that places centuries of truma on us and we have to deal with it but if we act like nomal human beings with emotions were weak and become food.

Just crazy to me people don't realize the pressure that is placed on black boys from a very young age. The expectation of being the man of the house, protector and provider is given to a lot of us before we're even old enough to understand what being a man is even about. Then most of us grow up with no fathers so we have to figure out how to be a man on our own. With nobody to even listen to us or help guide us through this thing we're up against.

A lot of black men just want understanding and to feel secure just like everbody else. But unfortunately we're not afforded that privilege.

A lot of people simply don't know how to be a man in a society that wasn't meant for us. A lot people have their ideas of what being a man is but the truth is in the black community we don't know.

So let's have a discussion brehs what are some struggle you have as a man?

For me I struggle with anxiety and mild depression. A lot of it stems from just being a kid trying to find his place in harsh environment and looking for acceptance from people I'm just not like. I'm a lot better and doing great for myself because of just being very fortunate in life. I am very lucky to have the opportunities in life and that has made me very happy recently. But I never forget how deep I was last summer in the blackest depression I've ever felt. But I learned a lot from that time. I can honestly say I'm a lot better in life and as a man because of that pain. I really found myself and learned that I have to be me.

So what about y'all?

Its a serious issue with us, mayne. Something that drives alot of cats to kill or commit that.

Vulnerability requires trust and trust requires having people close to you. Part of where the break down begins is we have taken the emphasis off that closeness in all of our media. We don't talk about metal health, we don't talk about loss, we don't talk about pain in ways that allow people to express the full gamut of what they are emotionally going through. Losing your best friend, family member etc SHOULD be painful, you should be sad if they meant anything to you.

I think we confuse sometimes being "a man" with stoicism and emotional blankness. But that begins to manifest in negative ways the more you hold it in. Its why young men now fly off the handles and beat women up or shoot at nikkas because they have no tools to process these feelings. And they haven't been in the community for generations.

Its part of why no matter what I'm doing I gotta do something involving the youth. Let them know its ok to be sad, but know what sad is and WHY you feel that way and how you can channel and process those feelings....



I personally think ALL black people should try therapy. ALL. We have not only our current status as a people but also a genetic PTSD from the vestiges of slavery/white supremacy. We need to talk about that shyt in a setting where we aren't going to get gaslighted and told our feelings are invalid. Or that you being a little bytch about it.

 

[Solo ✧✦✧]

How would you like someone to respond, breh? Serious question.

Should they just listen and try to relate?

Everyone else is also free to answer.

They can give solutions or don't respond at all. I don't need to vent to people or be coddled like a child so just listening does nothing for me. I'd rather someone just say nothing instead of wasting my time with some basic response.

 

[Afro]

Thank you for replying.

the field of therapy is dominated by women. Males are hard enough to find. A BLACK male therapist is damned near IMPOSSIBLE. I wish we had more representation in that realm and I wonder why we don't.

I'd love to want to live longer to spite the people who hate me, but I'm just wondering if it's worth the amount of suffering i've already endured, plus more that is yet to come. I really don't know man. I've come too far to quit, but sometimes it does sound nice.

shyt is not healthy to be just randomly breaking out crying in your car. Why we gotta live like this? I want to bust out into tears of sadness or anger randomly as well and as usual, I just stuff it and gulp it down which isn't healthy either.

I just let it out now, it's not right to feel like this period.

But keeping it in will ensure you self destruct somewhere that you can't afford to.

My father works in the mental health field and used to work for the state. Said it was dominated by racists. They won't take you serious, white folk would rather see someone like them, etc etc.

Now it's dominated by white women and it's extremely disappointing. I tried starting a support group and got middle aged white dudes who didn't want to help pay for our meeting place (spent my own money for that shyt). Moment I asked for some fees ($5!) Suddenly they busy or broke.

I wanted black folk anyway but trying to advertise something like that on meet up.com would be difficult. I dunno .

 

[havoc]

Man I can relate to y'all and I'd always seek people like us out just to befriend them and give them hope because I know how it feels to be alone in this struggle.

I've been fukked up since my parents would constantly argue in front of me. The environment was hostile and my mom even held a knife to my dads face once and as a youngin I shouted at my mom not to do it crying. I went from happy kid to depressed, quiet, and crying myself to sleep every night. I never in my life entertained the thought of marrying or starting a family so much that I eventually sabotaged every relationship I had probably because of my messed up household. My mom cheated on my dad in front of us and that's probably why I expect females to cheat and don't think much of it and even cheat on them first "just in case".

I had trouble embracing my individuality because I grew up in a predominately black community and I'd get called "gay" a lot for liking different music and playing instruments and being intelligent in class. I had low self esteem due to my household events and never really stood up for myself And was just withdrawn. I've seen over 10 therapists since 8 years old in my life and none of them helped me. Since elementary school, I'd get caught writing suicide notes and disturbing shyt and it was a silent cry for help, but my pops passed me along to other therapists but never talked to me himself. He was a great provider, but he never established that emotional bond with me and that's what I needed...not some random Jewish therapist. My dad got custody of me and my brother (whose relationship also diminished with me since I've been withdrawn), and my dad would work and I was raised by the internet pretty much after that.

I dropped out of college eventually and got into substance abuse and shooting heroin and any painkillers I can get into my arm. Most definitely the darkest times of my life and I've attempted to kill myself a few times.
I Was living alone like this for years. My dad got sick and was in the hospital. My mom was nearby but couldn't help. She felt a lot of regret for fukkin up my childhood.
I eventually couldn't afford the bills for the house and got kicked out because of my drug habit diminishing my funds and moved in with my mom who also eventually kicked me out and couldn't take it anymore. My only route was homelessness or rehab, so I went to rehab. After rehab, my mom still wouldn't accept me back home so I flew 10 hours away to another state and went to another rehab there and got clean. It was a predominately white community and i didn't know that, but it was covered by insurance and I was broke. I made it work and got a job and left sober living to live with a roommate.

Bought a car and all that good stuff, got a girlfriend who was my only confidant and she genuinely tried to help me with all my problems, but she couldn't solve me and we broke up. Now I'm seeking out black friends and a black community that try to better themselves because the few black people in this area don't even acknowledge each other and I'm sick of dealing with the struggles being the only black person around white people. Once again, I'm looking for a therapist, but a black male because I haven't had a black male figure to bond with in my life. I'm stuck depressed and always oscillating between suicide and progress.

I need consistency in my life. I need to do better, but the cycles in my life are always the same. I have no family around me, no one to completely relate to, and I don't know if i want to die or thrive brehs.

 

[SirReginald]

I'm at that point now. I've explained my depression story in detail before.

 

[Dont@Me]

I just let it out now, it's not right to feel like this period.

But keeping it in will ensure you self destruct somewhere that you can't afford to.

My father works in the mental health field and used to work for the state. Said it was dominated by racists. They won't take you serious, white folk would rather see someone like them, etc etc.

Now it's dominated by white women and it's extremely disappointing. I tried starting a support group and got middle aged white dudes who didn't want to help pay for our meeting place (spent my own money for that shyt). Moment I asked for some fees ($5!) Suddenly they busy or broke.

I wanted black folk anyway but trying to advertise something like that on meet up.com would be difficult. I dunno .

Black people really don't seem to have much support in the US.
My

I had to drive an hour and a half to find a black male therapist that I clicked with this week. I have to work some things out in my schedule to see him, but I'd like to regardless of the distance.

That's how I be feelin most days

 

[The Fade]

The nihilism is real brehs.

Sometimes feel like a walking void

 

[Rawtid]

A black man's problems are his own, his and his alone. Other black men don't care. 99.7% of our women don't care and if they think you are a chronic case eventually they will just tire of you.

I suffer through depression a lot. Woe is me. When you're depressed you often seek out other troubled people to "help" to give your own life some worth. But you're always going to be left holding the bag (not "the" bag either). These people are troubled for a reason so it's best to leave them to their own devices. If you're troubled yourself they will still view you as weak even if you are carrying them. There is no country for a troubled black male. We are just a problem and enemy to everyone. Such is life.

A lot of Black men CHOOSE not to share their issues with the people that legit care for them. Would rather deteriorate than be seen as emotionally vulnerable. People only care about what you allow them to care about. You front like you’re ok or refuse to discuss and you get what you get.

 

[Rarely-Wrong Liggins]

A lot of Black men CHOOSE not to share their issues with the people that legit care for them. Would rather deteriorate than be seen as emotionally vulnerable. People only care about what you allow them to care about. You front like you’re ok or refuse to discuss and you get what you get.

Yeah, that's the problem. You figured it out. Close the thread guys.