Bitter Black Men: redefining manhood (long read)

[Benjamin Sisko]

I love nuyoricans too. My crushes in 1st grade and 10th grade were indian. Guess that makes me a bedwench.

Then write a fukking thread on indians on some indian board since u love them so much. Also @Napoleon is still here and some hidden desis post here also so why dont u do that instead of thinking u are down for the cause.

 

[CinnaSlim]

I don't think black men are emotionless. I just think we have to look at the emotions we express. Often times its anger, and rage as oppose to sadness. This, I think, is why you have black males killing other black males. Its out of anger. Black men are actually very emotional. Fatherless black males tend to be super emotional, and impulsive. We have to remember that anger is an emotion too. And that anger, combined with the environment that a lot of black males grow up in, is what leads to all this violence. Thats what I mean when I say that a lot of us are emotionally stunted--we only have a few (sometimes destructive) ways of expressing our emotions.

Exactly those emotions will come out one way or another. We want to make sure it's in a healthy way.

 

[Kano]

I grew up with a father and a mother. My father came here in the late 70s from Nigeria. got his second masters degree and his PhD. He worked two jobs ever since I could remember. Got up at 6 am and came back at 345 showered ate, played with us for a sec and bounced at 530 came back at 1230 am for roughly 18 years straight. My mother stayed at home and took care of 4 aggressive boys who always got into something we weren't supposed to. 3 hot meals a day every single day even when she was sick. I honestly am blessed to these two as my parents and they are still happily married for over 35+ years.

I was the oddball out of my homies, many came from single parent households. So growing up I had an appreciate for having both loving parents in my life. I honestly feel bad for the african American community. The household is the home base, of that is fractured then the remaining structure lacks integrity in some cases. I wish that it wasn't the norm.
African Americans have EVERYTHING here. I understand that there were major setbacks however Africans Americans should be way better off than they are today. Opportunities here are limitless compared to many countries in Africa. Such a travesty

 

[Medicate]

No for real, why are you mentioning me?

You got beautiful eyes fam......

 

[Frump]

i actually have huge trust issues

it can take me from anywhere from 3 months to a year to open to a single person, i'm working on it but constantly coming across a$$holes makes it tough

Same here and I used to be the opposite very open emotional loyal person but most people I've ever put my faith in and gotten close to has betrayed me in some way or just eventually not seemed to give a fukk about me anymore

When I found out most people are selfish a holes who simply didn't care as much as I did then I figured what's the point?

I can count on one hand the people I open up to and trust these days.I wish I could go back to my open caring sensitive ways but people haven't given me reason to

 

[KOOL-AID]

 

[Tim Dripcan]

I have been taught not to show emotion or act like a bytch by my family. A black man has to show no emotion and tough it out because in a family the man is the solid rock. When shyt hits the fan the wife and children are looking to the man to be the solid rock of stability. The man has to reassure the family even the darkest times. My pops never shows vunerablity except when he sats he loves my moms and me and my lil bro. Only time i saw him cry was when my grandma died in 1999. Since then he never cried. My grandfathers on both sides were tough old school country side haitians. So i have to keep the tradition.

I never open up even with females because i keep my guard up and dont trust these broads. I just keep shyt bottled up and i know that is unhealthy but hey this is what a man has to do. We are the providers, protectors and defenders of our people. There isnt time for emotion. We live in a ruthless cold world.

Yep, my family are from the islands, and this is how I was taught growing up. I was taught to never show emotions as a young man, and to take care of my business as a man despite my circumstances.

Only time I had ever saw my pops cried was when my grandfather passed away, after that I never saw my pops broke down. It's how I was raised growing up. It's not a healthy thing. I always keep my emotions bottle up and it's going to take me a while to change it. It's not easy especially for a black man. I always kept my guard up when a person wants to know something about me. I have trust issues.

 

[Medicate]

You're describing me to the letter. That's mainly where my bitterness and chip comes from. Wanting to be accepted by my own and never feeling that I was. It's hard to see myself letting that go even when success comes my way

It happens breh, but its way more deeper than what you think on the surface is happening. Folks been brainwashed against Nature and the way it works, because shyt is so artificial and fake out here, people don't understand how nature and spirituality go hand in hand.........Your nature can never be replaced.....you can fake it for only so long.

That's why I hate brainwashed folks, because all they have to do is just get in tune with their heart and inner self and you'll come out that coma......I tell my folks that shyt all the time, they still call me crazy and still arrogant as ever, but they feel me deep down.........

 

[Westcoastnative]

I grew up with a father and a mother. My father came here in the late 70s from Nigeria. got his second masters degree and his PhD. He worked two jobs ever since I could remember. Got up at 6 am and came back at 345 showered ate, played with us for a sec and bounced at 530 came back at 1230 am for roughly 18 years straight. My mother stayed at home and took care of 4 aggressive boys who always got into something we weren't supposed to. 3 hot meals a day every single day even when she was sick. I honestly am blessed to these two as my parents and they are still happily married for over 35+ years.

I was the oddball out of my homies, many came from single parent households. So growing up I had an appreciate for having both loving parents in my life. I honestly feel bad for the african American community. The household is the home base, of that is fractured then the remaining structure lacks integrity in some cases. I wish that it wasn't the norm.
African Americans have EVERYTHING here. I understand that there were major setbacks however Africans Americans should be way better off than they are today. Opportunities here are limitless compared to many countries in Africa. Such a travesty

I agree.

Especially the bolded part. I come from a loving two parent household as well and I also have a better appreciation of having both of my parents.

 

[Matt504]

I grew up with a father and a mother. My father came here in the late 70s from Nigeria. got his second masters degree and his PhD. He worked two jobs ever since I could remember. Got up at 6 am and came back at 345 showered ate, played with us for a sec and bounced at 530 came back at 1230 am for roughly 18 years straight. My mother stayed at home and took care of 4 aggressive boys who always got into something we weren't supposed to. 3 hot meals a day every single day even when she was sick. I honestly am blessed to these two as my parents and they are still happily married for over 35+ years.

I was the oddball out of my homies, many came from single parent households. So growing up I had an appreciate for having both loving parents in my life. I honestly feel bad for the african American community. The household is the home base, of that is fractured then the remaining structure lacks integrity in some cases. I wish that it wasn't the norm.
African Americans have EVERYTHING here. I understand that there were major setbacks however Africans Americans should be way better off than they are today. Opportunities here are limitless compared to many countries in Africa. Such a travesty

I agree, everything is here for African Americans to have a better life but our communities have intentionally been destroyed and we have to go to extra lengths to reach those opportunities and the extra lengths are simply too much for many people, not impossible but to some extent improbable.

I liken it to telling someone they can have 1 million dollars if they get from Florida to Cuba, having a healthy family is like a boat, a healthy support system and you have a relatively decent chance of making it to Cuba if you have a map/GPS (guidance). Our situation as African Americans are given that very same shot at 1 million dollars but many of us come from dysfunctional families which isn't always the best support system, our boats have holes in them and many times as soon as we're able to get one hole patched up a leak springs up in a different part of the boat and we only have enough resources to cover only so many holes so in trying to reach Cuba, not only are we concerned with trying to keep the boat afloat, the signal for our GPS is spotty and we have other people who look just like us shooting at our boat because they're in the same predicament and feel as though if they can't reach Cuba, they don't want you reaching Cuba either so we'll all drown together.

 

[Blackout]

Being raised by only a mother has some bad effects on the son.

Thats all Im gonna say.

 

[Knuckles Red]

I agree, everything is here for African Americans to have a better life but our communities have intentionally been destroyed and we have to go to extra lengths to reach those opportunities and the extra lengths are simply too much for many people, not impossible but to some extent improbable.

I liken it to telling someone they can have 1 million dollars if they get from Florida to Cuba, having a healthy family is like a boat, a healthy support system and you have a relatively decent chance of making it to Cuba if you have a map/GPS (guidance). Our situation as African Americans are given that very same shot at 1 million dollars but many of us come from dysfunctional families which isn't always the best support system, our boats have holes in them and many times as soon as we're able to get one hole patched up a leak springs up in a different part of the boat and we only have enough resources to cover only so many holes so in trying to reach Cuba, not only are we concerned with trying to keep the boat afloat, the signal for our GPS is spotty and we have other people who look just like us shooting at our boat because their in the same predicament and feel as though if they can't reach Cuba, they don't want you reaching Cuba either so we'll all drown together.

Yeah, the last part of his comment made me feel some type of way. But your response is basically what I wanted to say.

 

[Medicate]

@At30wecashout @Medicate
I started to post this in TLR. Do you think I should've?

You good....this is actually an important topic, for those that can connect dots.....the rest of TLR is garbage anyway filled with cacs and c00ns talkin about nonsense.....let this take off how it is........

 

[underwaterboogiebaby]

Great topic!

 

[lightbearerchef]

I dont got a pops 2 talk 2. My big bro is more like a father figure. He gives brotherly & fatherly advice.