As A Man, If You Think That Females Should Approach.....Kill Yaself

[NobodyReally]

I'm not really into the whole gender role thing, but as far as this particular issue, I will say that it is bizarre to have a man just stare at you, obviously interested, but then not do anything. Just stand there. It puts the woman in the position of chasing, which decreases the odds of either party exchanging numbers.

 

[Neil Tyson]

Good times are had when the girl approaches first. IMO they're valued higher than the ones who don't.

 

[Bless't]

The only men I know who enjoy the pursuit are playas who are experienced in doing such.

I rarely hear respectable dudes claim to enjoy the pursuit. They are more into finding a good woman.

If a man is a good man and you trust your judgement you approaching him wont hurt.

A good man and a bad man will be the same whether he approaches you or you approach him.

There are many women out there so if a man didnt pursue you then that could also mean that he was busy or shy. Both of which isnt something that would discredit him from liking you and being a good man.

To me this is stressing the wrong thing. What should be priorities are good men and good women going together.

 

[The_Sheff]

It's weird because in most social settings I never see guys approaching women. Do u know how frustrating it is to stand at a bar or ever sit next to a guy in class or in the line at Walmart and have a great conversation, good vibes lots of smiles and Eye contact and dude lets you walk away without getting your #. Or a guy saying "let me give u my #". That's not how this works, that's not how any of this works. And if I'm really feeling the dude and say " so do u want my #"? And watch a wave of relief wash over his face. Like damn, u were scared to ask? I know rejection sucks but fellas if a woman is giving u eye contact, smiling, touching her hair or face (dead giveaway) and looking around all at the same damn time. Ask for the digits. She's feeling you! None of that look you up on Facebook or ig shyt either.

And here i was thinking smiling and giving eye contact was the normal thing to do during any conversation. Do you routinely have conversations with people that arent pleasant, have you frowned up, and looking around shiftily?

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Miss I personally know playas and they are the main ones who chase the most.

Everywhere I went with these dudes they chased women even at random times and such.

Non playas are a bit more reserved and dont approach as much women as playas.

A good man is a good man whether he approaches a girl or not lol.

This whole approaching matter has no effect on whether a man will be a good man or not.

As for the if a man approaches you then he thinks your worth it:

When a man sees you he doesnt even know you and when he approaches you he gets to know you and with the many aint shyt people out there he woudlnt be able to make a full judgement call to see if you are worth pursuing or not based on just looking at you and talking to you for a bit which makes me wonder why you stress wanting him approaching you so much other than the convenience of you not having to chase lol.

Yeah we have two very different experiences. But that's life. I've been around men my entire life. Those who don't approach set a standard that they don't want to take charge or even take initiative to go after something they desire. That lack of valuing the woman or unwillingness to even try to make the first step is what defines this generation of fukk bois and playas.

The mentality is as I said earlier. Get as much as possible from a woman while giving as less as possible. Such dudes also don't have a problem living off women or probably expect women to court them. Lol! They'll use feminism as an excuse to be emasculated just to play mind games to flip the script for a piece of ass.

But I digress, most good dudes I know who are in relationships didn't hesitate to approach and pursue what they wanted be it in life, in a woman or in anything.

I will also say this. I know a lotta passive-aggressive guys who don't want to put in any effort to pursue a woman. They may be good dudes but they have unrealistic expectations of women. Crippling shyness or anxiety about social interactions with women have caused them to completely avoid females altogether. So they want the woman to do all the work and when a dyme piece doesn't hunt them down and search them out, they become bitter or resentful of females.

Either way as a woman, none of those options seem appealing as someone I want to be my man. If he can't even be bothered to make the first move it doesn't inspire me to have a lot of confidence in him otherwise.

Sure there are exceptions. But he should also understand that there are other contenders. And a guy who takes a chance to get to know me is the one I will deal with if the spark is there.

But otherwise, who knows. As I said earlier different people do different things. If what ur doing works, then keep at it. I don't mind either way.

 

[Stone]

Honestly the only way I do this is through friends. Just going up to random folks on the street never really appealed to me.

I've seen some girls looking but, I always just chalked it up to random chance.

 

[Stone]

Yeah we have two very different experiences. But that's life. I've been around men my entire life. Those who don't approach set a standard that they don't want to take charge or even take initiative to go after something they desire. That lack of valuing the woman or unwillingness to even try to make the first step is what defines this generation of fukk bois and playas.

The mentality is as I said earlier. Get as much as possible from a woman while giving as less as possible. Such dudes also don't have a problem living off women or probably expect women to court them. Lol! They'll use feminism as an excuse to be emasculated just to play mind games to flip the script for a piece of ass.

But I digress, most good dudes I know who are in relationships didn't hesitate to approach and pursue what they wanted be it in life, in a woman or in anything.

I will also say this. I know a lotta passive-aggressive guys who don't want to put in any effort to pursue a woman. They may be good dudes but they have unrealistic expectations of women. Crippling shyness or anxiety about social interactions with women have caused them to completely avoid females altogether. So they want the woman to do all the work and when a dyme piece doesn't hunt them down and search them out, they become bitter or resentful of females.

Either way as a woman, none of those options seem appealing as someone I want to be my man. If he can't even be bothered to make the first move it doesn't inspire me to have a lot of confidence in him otherwise.

Sure there are exceptions. But he should also understand that there are other contenders. And a guy who takes a chance to get to know me is the one I will deal with if the spark is there.

But otherwise, who knows. As I said earlier different people do different things. If what ur doing works, then keep at it. I don't mind either way.

+rep for the thoughtfulness in this post.

I think one of the problems I run into is that I just wait on the perfect situation where I have the perfect thing to say. I've come to to realize that shyt just doesn't work that way, and it's really just an excuse because I'm not really a fan of how my voice sounds and my current position in life isn't where I want it to be.

 

[Blackout]

Yeah we have two very different experiences. But that's life. I've been around men my entire life. Those who don't approach set a standard that they don't want to take charge or even take initiative to go after something they desire. That lack of valuing the woman or unwillingness to even try to make the first step is what defines this generation of fukk bois and playas.

The mentality is as I said earlier. Get as much as possible from a woman while giving as less as possible. Such dudes also don't have a problem living off women or probably expect women to court them. Lol! They'll use feminism as an excuse to be emasculated just to play mind games to flip the script for a piece of ass.

But I digress, most good dudes I know who are in relationships didn't hesitate to approach and pursue what they wanted be it in life, in a woman or in anything.

I will also say this. I know a lotta passive-aggressive guys who don't want to put in any effort to pursue a woman. They may be good dudes but they have unrealistic expectations of women. Crippling shyness or anxiety about social interactions with women have caused them to completely avoid females altogether. So they want the woman to do all the work and when a dyme piece doesn't hunt them down and search them out, they become bitter or resentful of females.

Either way as a woman, none of those options seem appealing as someone I want to be my man. If he can't even be bothered to make the first move it doesn't inspire me to have a lot of confidence in him otherwise.

Sure there are exceptions. But he should also understand that there are other contenders. And a guy who takes a chance to get to know me is the one I will deal with if the spark is there.

But otherwise, who knows. As I said earlier different people do different things. If what ur doing works, then keep at it. I don't mind either way.

That's the thing, approaching mainly shows that they want you physically not mentally.

To get to the mental point they must talk to you for a good while.

I'm not talking about men who refuse to approach either. I'm just saying that just because a man didn't approach you that doesn't mean that its a good indicator as to whether he is a good man or not.

He could just be tired of the bad women that he met and decided to approach women less for awhile

Or he didn't want to be called thirsty so he decided to approach women less.

Its not as deep as your making it out to be

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

+rep for the thoughtfulness in this post.

I think one of the problems I run into is that I just wait on the perfect situation where I have the perfect thing to say. I've come to to realize that shyt just doesn't work that way, and it's really just an excuse because I'm not really a fan of how my voice sounds and my current position in life isn't where I want it to be.

the problem is with the snotty ass attitude a lot of women have towards men who do approach them. Men are tired of the bullshyt or overly anxious about it because some chicks are bytches.

We've been socially conditioned to think men shouldnt have feelings or should just get over it. But I can only imagine that shyt gets old after a while.

So this isn't just one-sided. The way dudes approach is also not helping the good ones who have some sense. There a few knuckleheads out there who can get disrespectful.

But otherwise, I'd say just approach women who are giving u obvious signs. The prolonged eye-fukking, the bright smile that's a lil bigger for u.

Come to think of it, if women want men to continue to approach they need to be better are giving signals to dudes...
But that's a thread I'll post on a female forum to piss them off...lmao!

 

[filial_piety]

Yeah we have two very different experiences. But that's life. I've been around men my entire life. Those who don't approach set a standard that they don't want to take charge or even take initiative to go after something they desire. That lack of valuing the woman or unwillingness to even try to make the first step is what defines this generation of fukk bois and playas.

The mentality is as I said earlier. Get as much as possible from a woman while giving as less as possible. Such dudes also don't have a problem living off women or probably expect women to court them. Lol! They'll use feminism as an excuse to be emasculated just to play mind games to flip the script for a piece of ass.

But I digress, most good dudes I know who are in relationships didn't hesitate to approach and pursue what they wanted be it in life, in a woman or in anything.

I will also say this. I know a lotta passive-aggressive guys who don't want to put in any effort to pursue a woman. They may be good dudes but they have unrealistic expectations of women. Crippling shyness or anxiety about social interactions with women have caused them to completely avoid females altogether. So they want the woman to do all the work and when a dyme piece doesn't hunt them down and search them out, they become bitter or resentful of females.

Either way as a woman, none of those options seem appealing as someone I want to be my man. If he can't even be bothered to make the first move it doesn't inspire me to have a lot of confidence in him otherwise.

Sure there are exceptions. But he should also understand that there are other contenders. And a guy who takes a chance to get to know me is the one I will deal with if the spark is there.

But otherwise, who knows. As I said earlier different people do different things. If what ur doing works, then keep at it. I don't mind either way.

I swear women will say and contrive anything rather than just admit that they are afraid of being rejected. The psuedo-science psycho babble is hilarious

THat being said, I'm all for either party approaching the other. If you find someone attractive, then I think it's ok to make the first move verbally.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

That's the thing, approaching mainly shows that they want you physically not mentally.

To get to the mental point they must talk to you for a good while.

I'm not talking about men who refuse to approach either. I'm just saying that just because a man didn't approach you that doesn't mean that its a good indicator as to whether he is a good man or not.

He could just be tired of the bad women that he met and decided to approach women less for awhile

Or he didn't want to be called thirsty so he decided to approach women less.

Its not as deep as your making it out to be

Yes. That's the point. Approaching is the physical starting point and there is nothing wrong with that. The mental comes later. But if dude doesn't even want to put in the effort to get that started, you'll never get anywhere.
But as I said b4. If not approaching works for u then do it. Do what you have success with. I support.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

I swear women will say and contrive anything rather than just admit that they are afraid of being rejected. The psuedo-science psycho babble is hilarious

THat being said, I'm all for either party approaching the other. If you find someone attractive, then I think it's ok to make the first move verbally.

It's deeper than that. But if u don't get it, I won't cast pearls b4 swine. The Jedi mind tricks don't really work on me. I like men who like to pursue. It works for me. I've never had a relationship where I had to seek out the dude. Honestly, I don't think I can take those guys seriously.
But like I told another poster, just get in where u fit in. No skin off my back. My man just didn't find it too hard to offer me his number and it took off from there. But then again, we're both traditional, so there u have it. Lol!

 

[live it to the limit]

And here i was thinking smiling and giving eye contact was the normal thing to do during any conversation. Do you routinely have conversations with people that arent pleasant, have you frowned up, and looking around shiftily?

Whaaaa. You can't tell the difference between flirting and having a normal convo? No I talk to my boss differently than I talk to a cutie at the bar.

 

[filial_piety]

It's deeper than that. But if u don't get it, I won't cast pearls b4 swine. The Jedi mind tricks don't really work on me. I like men who like to pursue. It works for me. I've never had a relationship where I had to seek out the dude. Honestly, I don't think I can take those guys seriously.
But like I told another poster, just get in where u fit in. No skin off my back. My man just didn't find it too hard to offer me his number and it took off from there. But then again, we're both traditional, so there u have it. Lol!

It's cool...it sounds like you (and not just you...I hear many other women espouse similar opinions) have found a way to convince yourself that a woman approaching a man is some sort of improper etiquette that defines a man's character--it's simply a justification for avoiding rejection imo. All this "if a man really wants it...he will go get it" is just nonsense, because by that rationale you can apply that to anyone in any situation and judge their success in life in general on that premise--however most of us won't because life is much more complicated than that for most women and men but for some odd reason this seems to hold water with women when it comes men initiating the attraction.

I honestly think the reason most women don't is simply fear of rejection...nothing more nothing less. From what I've seen ALL women will approach the right man. I've seen women swear that they would never approach a man...but when someone like Boris Kudjoe steps out...all of that flys out of the window. Why? Because it's worth the risk of rejection in their opinion.


Now IMO...it's fine if either party wants to wait to be approached--it's perfectly their right. I just think it's strange when women end up in unsatisfying relationships...and then can't for the life of them understand that if you limit yourself to being approached--you've pretty much limited the pool of men to choose from.

 

[Playa With Tha Passport]

Wow

I didn't know how weak some of you new dudes really were till i read this thread

Yo nikkas actually want a chick to approach you 1st ? And you not have to do anything ? Ya want the roles reversed?

Pull ya skirt back down
Grow a set men

I feel bad 4 the women that gotta pick a father or husband out this bunch