Are we partly responsible for black women's self-hate issues?

[B-Rock Odrama]

black men treat light skin girls like they goddesses so you do the math

this is a myth/exaggeration..it depends on brother to brother...not all of us into lite brites like that. depite what cac media may sell u

 

[marcuz]

most black men have had grandmothers and mothers and sisters that wear wigs, perms, hair extensions, but y'all some how expect us to appreciate your natural hair. fukk outta here

 

[Matt504]

If you have daughters, wives, sisters etc., empower them, little by little we can chip away at it and become a largely proud Afrocentric race. Maybe I'm just reaching tho.

I see it as a brick wall that we're chipping away at, and sometimes we make great strides at knock big sections of that brick wall down, but as long as the brick layers are continually laying bricks, it will be a never ending battle to knock the wall down.

we can lift each other up as much as we want to, but it all begins to come undone the moment we tune into television shows that reinforce the ideals of white supremacy, enjoy the media, the destructive messages and imagery contained in them.

we allow our children to be indoctrinated with poisonous messages all day when they're watching the television. they learn what is beautiful, who is important, who's smart, who's dumb, and it overrides any positive messages you happen to give them every so often.

 

[Will Ross]

I don't think black men are wholly responsible in a malicious intent, but some may not know that's what they're doing. Women everywhere try to look good for men, and It's a known fact that black women are the least likely to date/marry outside their race so naturally black women look at black men to see what they like. So when we turn in the tv and see lighter skinned, looser hair on TV being placed on a pedestal the ones who don't fit that category (the majority) are gonna feel some type of way.

Even in the curly hair appreciation thread an overwhelming majority of those girls didn't have 4C hair so y'all can front like coli men don't do it themselves if you want too

Black women will date other races given the chance. You make it seem like the reason for black women not marrying other races has to do with a loyalty to black men. When it really the lack of opportunity. Black women that tend it be around a mixed crowed will choose white over black.

 

[Gravity]

The lack of responsibility and accountability placed on black women is really detrimental to our community. Black women really aren't held accountable for anything because absolving them from being responsible and telling them what they want to hear is big business.

 

[Dman414]

What role do black men play in sustaining black women's self-hatred issues?

And how could we help our sisters feel more beautiful?

None. listen to brother Katt williams "Ladies, you’ve got to be the shyt to you. Stop waiting on a nikka to verify if you’re the shyt or not. We’re tired of y’all blaming us for shyt we ain’t even in control of. You’ve done got with a nikka and now you talking about, “You fukked up my self esteem.” bytch, it’s called self esteem! How the fukk can I fukk up how you feel about you, simple bytch?"

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/kattwilliamsjokes.html

 

[marcuz]

at the end of the day, black women aren't going to appreciate their skin or hair until cacs tell them too.

 

[Elle Driver]

I don't think black men are wholly responsible in a malicious intent, but some may not know that's what they're doing. Women everywhere try to look good for men, and It's a known fact that black women are the least likely to date/marry outside their race so naturally black women look at black men to see what they like. So when we turn in the tv and see lighter skinned, looser hair on TV being placed on a pedestal the ones who don't fit that category (the majority) are gonna feel some type of way.

Even in the curly hair appreciation thread an overwhelming majority of those girls didn't have 4C hair so y'all can front like coli men don't do it themselves if you want too

I see it in those black hair care blogs, the majority of them have 3c "mixed girl" hair (which I do have and I can even acknowledge that it's ridiculous). It's just sad to see that shyt. The natural hair market is overwhelming cornered by women who are biracial or closer to that. And obviously black men buy into that shyt and show case them as well. You wonder why a lot of black men also like "East African" women It's for the same reason. Except, they're "acceptably" black; black enough for blacks, but acceptable to whites because of their phenotypes. You even hear it in songs, it almost sounds like a fetish.

 

[AAKing23]

i hate this excuse

what really came first, the guy going off and marrying the light skinned chick w/loose curls, or his mother wearing perm and fake hair in his home? i mean, we see girls walking around under 10 yrs old with perm and hair extensions, are they doing it because they're trying to look attractive for black men?

I even think that's not really true to that extent, alot of women nowadays seem to be more focused on impressing other women than they are men.


They know nikkas is gonna holla regardless of how they look

 

[Matt504]

I see it in those black hair care blogs, the majority of them have 3c "mixed girl" hair (which I do have and I can even acknowledge that it's ridiculous). It's just sad to see that shyt. The natural hair market is overwhelming cornered by women who are biracial or closer to that. And obviously black men buy into that shyt and show case them as well. You wonder why a lot of black men also like "East African" women It's for the same reason. Except, they're "acceptably" black; black enough for blacks, but acceptable to whites because of their phenotypes. You even hear it in songs, it almost sounds like a fetish.

it sounds like a fetish because that's EXACTLY what it is.

 

[Dman414]

A lot of mixed girls are pretty though and they are black technically speaking When halle berry is with a white man she's a black queen, when she's with a brother she's that lightskin bytch.

technically mixed girls are mixed. The greater question is why did CACs consider them black and not white. LOL a white man can have a baby with black woman and he will never call his daughter white LOL. what's up with that

 

[OliviaTwist]

i hate this excuse

what really came first, the guy going off and marrying the light skinned chick w/loose curls, or his mother wearing perm and fake hair in his home? i mean, we see girls walking around under 10 yrs old with perm and hair extensions, are they doing it because they're trying to look attractive for black men?

Before the mother permed her hair I guarantee you she got the idea that tightly coiled hair was unattractive, and that idea was reinstated by a black man. We can go back and forth all day about which came first but to deny that it's a cycle, and that black men play a role in that cycle is ignorant and a cop out. Just like black women have their own minds black men do too so stop always making black men victims to the system.

 

[King Poetic]

Black women have a lot of control in the media quiet as kept. There are black women in positions of power at a lot of these media outlets. When you see the countless number of reality shows that do nothing but reinforce an perpetuate negative stereotypes about black women you have to understand that there are black women behind the scenes producing these shows. Not to mention black women are the ones who watch the shows and make them popular. Same thing with music, there are a lot of black women in positions of power within urban radio who decide what does or doesn't get played. I'm just tired of blame game. Black men are not the all purpose scapegoat for black women. Black women need to start taking some personal responsibility.

BLACK MEN ALWAYS GET THE BLAME FOR EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG IN THE WORLD AND ESPECIALLY AMONG BLACK WOMEN...... PERFECT EXAMPLE IS WHEN U HEAR A BLACK WOMAN SAY WHEN THEY ARE ASK WHY CAN'T U FIND A MAN " nikkaS AIN'T shyt, THERE'S NO GOOD MEN OUT THERE, BLACK MEN ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE, BLACK MEN DON'T BRING NOTHING TO THE TABLE EXCEPT dikk ( YES SOME WOMEN DO SAY THAT ) AND BLACK MEN ARE SCARED OF COMMITMENT ....

I'm tired of GOOD BLACK MEN getting raped not only by white people but also by there own women....

blame somebody blame somebody like her

 

[Busted_Toes]

at the end of the day, black women aren't going to appreciate their skin or hair until cacs tell them too.

this, it's such a shame.

A CAC could make money with this hustle

 

[marcuz]

I even think that's not really true to that extent, alot of women nowadays seem to be more focused on impressing other women than they are men.


They know nikkas is gonna holla regardless of how they look

that's my point, they dont give a goddamn about the black mans opinion. they're way more focused on how they are viewed by white men and other women. they wanna push the blame off on the minority of celebrities that are w/non black women.