Admit simp crimes you've committed

[Mandizi]

when i was a senior in high school i had a crush on this fine ass mixed chick who was only a sophmore. she had just broken up with her boyfriend over christmas break so i decided i was gonna swoop in and get a valentine's day present. i stayed up until 1 a.m. after getting off of work making her a card on MS Paint.

when i gave it to her at school the next day shorty literally cried in my arms!! i just knew i was gonna get some p*ssy. after school, she gave me a ride home along with some other people and out of no where she just broke down crying talking about how she misses her ex and can't believe another girl (a girl who i previously simped on). shorty put her head in her lap and started crying while she was driving!! i had to hold the wheel to keep us alive.

after i finally convinced her to pull over, she called her ex, but she was so hysterical she couldn't talk to him. that's when she pulls out a notepad and starts writing shyt down that she wants me to tell him. i was actually the go-between for this bytch i was trying to smash and her ex. everytime dude saw me for the rest of the year he was like i never hit. she started fukking some freshman whiteboy literally days after it happened.

 

[Julius Skrrvin]

liggins....wtf man

 

[Rominati]

Sophomore year in college.

I never confirmed it. But I think I dropped a bytch off at the next nikkas crib. , shyt gives me chills just thinking about it

 

[JasonSJackson]

when i was a senior in high school i had a crush on this fine ass mixed chick who was only a sophmore. she had just broken up with her boyfriend over christmas break so i decided i was gonna swoop in and get a valentine's day present. i stayed up until 1 a.m. after getting off of work making her a card on MS Paint.

when i gave it to her at school the next day shorty literally cried in my arms!! i just knew i was gonna get some p*ssy. after school, she gave me a ride home along with some other people and out of no where she just broke down crying talking about how she misses her ex and can't believe another girl (a girl who i previously simped on). shorty put her head in her lap and started crying while she was driving!! i had to hold the wheel to keep us alive.

after i finally convinced her to pull over, she called her ex, but she was so hysterical she couldn't talk to him. that's when she pulls out a notepad and starts writing shyt down that she wants me to tell him. i was actually the go-between for this bytch i was trying to smash and her ex. everytime dude saw me for the rest of the year he was like i never hit. she started fukking some freshman whiteboy literally days after it happened.

 

[Ice Cold]

Damn some of these stories man.....

 

[aqualung]

minor traffic violations
online password...tricks (when dudes misbehave)

ETA:
Oh. Wait.
-->SIMP<-- crimes. (._. )
Women like me don't really do those, man. ( ._.)
Neither do eye reed gud.

 

[sixsixtwo]

Giving a fukk about them in the first place..

 

[Rich Spirit]

used a $50 American Express Gift card to buy a pair of shoes for a girl's birthday that i never smashed nor dated.

spent almost $100 on Edible Arrangements for this girl's birthday that i was talking to/hanging out for about 8 months. Only smashed 1 time smh. She then proceeds to "break things off" with me two weeks later.

gave a girl $100 so she can pay her light bill, she never paid me back and I wasn't smashing smh.

 

[Smashley]

sad stories

 

[Jesus]

Yet more.....

GODDAMN....SIMP OF THE YEAR

 

[Lil Wango]

I dropped my ex off at the airport so she could go see another nikka. I got some dome while driving on the way tho.

 

[screenname01]

one time this broad i was trying to fukk called me and said her and her friend was at home and they was hungry. i aint really have the money but i bought them hos a pizza and took it to them. they aint even offer me none of the pizza and i was kinda hungry too but it was cool because i knew was gon be getting some azz soon. anyway, the phone rings and the broad im trying to get at goes to answer it and tells me to "sssh" with her finger while shes talking. then she gets off the phone and tells me i gotta leave because that was her dad and hes gonna be home in 3 minutes. so i hurry up and haul azz outta there and she just gave me a weak azz peck on the lips. later on my cousin and my homeboy came to my house and they was like "man, we heard you was at shani's house this afternoon so we rode by there looking for you. when we went to the front door it was open and her and jamillah was sitting on the couch with two nyggas." so that was those nyggas calling when she rushed me outta there saying it was her dad. that ether still burns slow.

 

[JerkPork]

one time this broad i was trying to fukk called me and said her and her friend was at home and they was hungry. i aint really have the money but i bought them hos a pizza and took it to them. they aint even offer me none of the pizza and i was kinda hungry too but it was cool because i knew was gon be getting some azz soon. anyway, the phone rings and the broad im trying to get at goes to answer it and tells me to "sssh" with her finger while shes talking. then she gets off the phone and tells me i gotta leave because that was her dad and hes gonna be home in 3 minutes. so i hurry up and haul azz outta there and she just gave me a weak azz peck on the lips. later on my cousin and my homeboy came to my house and they was like "man, we heard you was at shani's house this afternoon so we rode by there looking for you. when we went to the front door it was open and her and jamillah was sitting on the couch with two nyggas." so that was those nyggas calling when she rushed me outta there saying it was her dad. that ether still burns slow.

Damn

 

[blackzeus]

I was in Tokyo one time, partying it up, was a table next to two eastern European chicks. I wanted to impress them, so I bought a bottle, and invited 'em over to my table. They moved over, we chatted it up, danced, and flirted. Then I was trying to close the hotter looking one, they both bounced It wasn't that bad, only $200, but still felt a certain way about it. I still got two numbers that night, one from a Jap chick, and the other Nigerian, but buying the bottle wasn't necessary for that. at buying bottles to impress b*tches. But hey, you win some you lose some

 

[Smashley]

one time this broad i was trying to fukk called me and said her and her friend was at home and they was hungry. i aint really have the money but i bought them hos a pizza and took it to them. they aint even offer me none of the pizza and i was kinda hungry too but it was cool because i knew was gon be getting some azz soon. anyway, the phone rings and the broad im trying to get at goes to answer it and tells me to "sssh" with her finger while shes talking. then she gets off the phone and tells me i gotta leave because that was her dad and hes gonna be home in 3 minutes. so i hurry up and haul azz outta there and she just gave me a weak azz peck on the lips. later on my cousin and my homeboy came to my house and they was like "man, we heard you was at shani's house this afternoon so we rode by there looking for you. when we went to the front door it was open and her and jamillah was sitting on the couch with two nyggas." so that was those nyggas calling when she rushed me outta there saying it was her dad. that ether still burns slow.

bytches ain't shyt