A serious thread for anyone who might be able to relate
- Thread starter Ohene
- Start date
HowardHughes
Still hiding
You parents fukked up breh :Floyd:
Just how african parents be breh. My dad would always ask me why I dont go to parties with him...mix with people or whatever not realizing that I was a product of their parenting
. Then when high school was ending he kinda insinuated that I should look into going to school in a different region (I already had them thoughts myself).
I do sometimes feel like I've cheated myself out of certain potential experiences though4 years of college have sped by and I don't feel like I've had a real college experience (at least not your prototypical college experience).
college is what you make it breh..I mean i definitely engaged in my fair share of fukkery and whatnot in my first 3 years but I always remembered that i have a full scholarship to keep so I had to keep my grades up....only one year is where I went absolutely ham which was my final year...I fulfilled the requirements of my full scholarship, I lost mad weight, I had 5 figures in the bank, and a car with no note. It was only right to live a little
. That year went by so fast 
And for those who can't relate, feel free to diss me, shame me, whatever you want cause it won't hold much effect at this point.
Background
Anyways, growing up I was a pretty sheltered dude. I had my friends, lived in a decent suburban neighbourhood and all that but my parents always promoted that all work no play attitude. It was all about school and helping around the crib in anyway. It goes all the way back to when I was in elementary school. I'd come home from school, sit at home and watch Hey Arnold or whatever, do my math homework, wait for Dragonball Z to come on and hit the bed. In some cases I'd also be forced to go to my mom's place of business once dad came home from work and help load shipping containers being exported overseas. During the summers when my "friends" might've been playing road hockey or out doing what kids do I was helping my mom sell Avon or Kente/Lace materials or run her shop. Weekends were the same with church being the cherry on top (to make matters worse the service was in a language I cant understand).
Basically what I'm saying is my childhood was pretty much stripped and I became an introvert with social anxiety. When high school and even late elementary school came it got to the point where if a classmate was holding a jam (party) or people were going out to do some social stuff I didn't feel comfortable in joining. Furthermore I just didnt feel like I fit in. Going to the movies, window shopping at the mall, going bowling, lying down on beach sand as a dark skinned nikka...I dont know; none of it had any appeal to me. All my nikkas cared about was gear and bagging hoes. I didnt have money for clothing and was stuck wearing hand me downs and because of the social anxiety didnt even feel the need to bag girls. Instead my forte was math, being creative, music, thinking of new ideas, learning about shyt and sadly I didnt know anybody on the same wavelength in my circle. Consequently for a long time I've felt like an Alien on this earth. It's no coincidence that my name is derived from the god of war whose name is that of another planet. I might as well be a martian.
The point of the thread
Now even with the anxiety though I've never held a grudge against my parents for rocketing me into this world from Mars, the planet that is my dad's nutsack. Even with a lack of belongingness and the stripping my childhood. After all, the contributions my brothers and I made make me feel good about myself and have instilled great values. One of these values is probably the only valuable thing that church taught me: the golden rule.
"Treat others as you want to be treated"
Even now as a 21 year old without the social anxiety I still cannot help but feel like I am stuck in a generation, a world where I dont belong. One of the reasons is a serious breach of the rule I listed above. I wont go into any details yet but on a daily basis I come into contact with people and seem to notice a great deal of selfishness, disrespect, cowardliness, connivance and a gang of other vices. I am not holier than thou but I just dont get it. A small string of events has gotten me to just say eff it...I'm going back into my shell and focusing on whats important.
Sometimes I honestly don't know why I am here. Does anybody else feel this way?It goes deeper but its hard to get it all out there.
Just airing out my thoughts.
1.Are you from Toronto?
2.Do you find yourself having a disdain for certain things because you can't fully enjoy it? like do you find yourself looking down on your boys that'll go to the mall and stunt because you might not have the gear to stunt because you are focused on an end game (a Higher Education, a Great Pying Job, and a good start in a loong life?)
@Sachs, Fifth Avenue
Overall I get where you're coming from pops..
you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. In my earliest years, as a child of African Immigrants (and the oldest child nonetheless) , the pressure to not be a western black person was immense and the pressure outside the home to fitin with your peers is immense. It creates a social bipolarity for you, if you're lucky, and downright social awkwardness for you if you're not. As time went on and i wasnt being watched like that anymore(due to other problems), like others in this thread, I just said fukk it and started banging. I just turned into somebody that gave no fukks about my own well being or the well being of others, and after the harsh consequences that had on my life, I've slowly had no choice but to just accept the reality of who I have become and who I am. All you can do at this point is accept yourself for who you are, accept your parents for who they are (which you've seemingly done), and try to get the best out of life. IF you don't feel like that doing all that extra social sheet, bun dat, because chacnes are once you get to a certain point in your life (marriage, children, career ect.) window shopping, clubbing, ect. is going to be seen as lame and childish if done too much. a
A man like me I can't lie, certain times I wanna go out with my homeboys and stunt like I did when I had da money and the lack of foresight to care about the consequences of how i got that money, but i realize i got to choose a different path. I might as well stay in the apartment i pay for, chill back, enjoy my obsession with sports, play the cut and get my one two beetches, and keep it moving till I accomplish the goals that I hope God will allow me to accomplish. IT makes tno sense for me to goclubbing like a waste yute and get turned down by the same girls who will show me mad play if I catch em on the ones in a different environment, simply because the club is an exhibition of false social status. Ill cstil chill wit my mandem, watch a game, take in a basketball/baseball game, come down every once in a while, but realizing who I am and what time has passed, and the trajectory of my life, I can't afford to be silly and try to chase an illusion that will lead to me biting the dust.
This is life, and This is how it goes. IT's the way God has set things in motion, and we just gotta accept it and KIM.
Overall I get where you're coming from pops..
you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. In my earliest years, as a child of African Immigrants (and the oldest child nonetheless) , the pressure to not be a western black person was immense and the pressure outside the home to fitin with your peers is immense. It creates a social bipolarity for you, if you're lucky, and downright social awkwardness for you if you're not. As time went on and i wasnt being watched like that anymore(due to other problems), like others in this thread, I just said fukk it and started banging. I just turned into somebody that gave no fukks about my own well being or the well being of others, and after the harsh consequences that had on my life, I've slowly had no choice but to just accept the reality of who I have become and who I am. All you can do at this point is accept yourself for who you are, accept your parents for who they are (which you've seemingly done), and try to get the best out of life. IF you don't feel like that doing all that extra social sheet, bun dat, because chacnes are once you get to a certain point in your life (marriage, children, career ect.) window shopping, clubbing, ect. is going to be seen as lame and childish if done too much. a
A man like me I can't lie, certain times I wanna go out with my homeboys and stunt like I did when I had da money and the lack of foresight to care about the consequences of how i got that money, but i realize i got to choose a different path. I might as well stay in the apartment i pay for, chill back, enjoy my obsession with sports, play the cut and get my one two beetches, and keep it moving till I accomplish the goals that I hope God will allow me to accomplish. IT makes tno sense for me to goclubbing like a waste yute and get turned down by the same girls who will show me mad play if I catch em on the ones in a different environment, simply because the club is an exhibition of false social status. Ill cstil chill wit my mandem, watch a game, take in a basketball/baseball game, come down every once in a while, but realizing who I am and what time has passed, and the trajectory of my life, I can't afford to be silly and try to chase an illusion that will lead to me biting the dust.
This is life, and This is how it goes. IT's the way God has set things in motion, and we just gotta accept it and KIM.
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Yup peep the reppin. You go to NYU by any chance?
And it isnt that, I have gear now. But a lot of the things most people like to do I find them trivial. When i do those activities it's like I'm doing it just to do it. The only incentive for me going to a mall or beach or whatever is macking on women
The things I do like to do personally require a lot of brainpower (ie: analyzing corporations for my portfolio) or I dont have the money to really do them yet (ie. building my portfolio though I've started, or learning how to play guitar). In due time though, I'm being patient. On the weekends sometimes I just dont have the energy to do such activities either after a long week of work. Cant wait til i'm done this internship and back at school though
.Yup peep the reppin. You go to NYU by any chance?
And it isnt that, I have gear now. But a lot of the things most people like to do I find them trivial. When i do those activities it's like I'm doing it just to do it. The only incentive for me going to a mall or beach or whatever is macking on women
The things I do like to do personally require a lot of brainpower (ie: analyzing corporations for my portfolio) or I dont have the money to really do them yet (ie. building my portfolio though I've started, or learning how to play guitar). In due time though, I'm being patient. On the weekends sometimes I just dont have the energy to do such activities either after a long week of work. Cant wait til i'm done this internship and back at school though
yea i seen the repping..where you from in the dot ..if by NYU you mean near yonge and union stations then yes..
what's your major? and im assuming you go to nyu?
yea i seen the repping..where you from in the dot ..if by NYU you mean near yonge and union stations then yes..
what's your major? and im assuming you go to nyu?
lmao nah i was wondering if you were a certain person from SOHH that my brother knows.
I got to McMaster, majoring in Finance but I'm trying to transfer to Queens Commerce or the Richard Ivey school of Business before next semester.
O.iatlhawksfan
Devoted Joel Embiid hater
I lived a life similar to yours. You need to have an optimistic outlook as a introverted person
You're 21.
1. Don't screw up your life. It's not as bad as you think. It could be worse.
2. You'll find out what you want to do and you'll meet people who like the same thing. Not everyone is into bagging ho's and getting wasted.
3. You are beyond peer pressure now, which is great. I didn't drink and still don't. I don't care to get wasted or high. I don't go to clubs. Not my thing, and I didn't go to clubs back when I was younger either. I did try to get involved in stuff I liked whether I was good or bad, at least I tried it out. Tennis, ice hockey, ballroom dance, fencing, kendo, power lifting, music, golf, motorcycling, etc.
4. I'm still a nerd of sorts. I'm less introverted and sometimes more extroverted, depending on the circumstances. I'm awful at public speaking.
1. Don't screw up your life. It's not as bad as you think. It could be worse.
2. You'll find out what you want to do and you'll meet people who like the same thing. Not everyone is into bagging ho's and getting wasted.
3. You are beyond peer pressure now, which is great. I didn't drink and still don't. I don't care to get wasted or high. I don't go to clubs. Not my thing, and I didn't go to clubs back when I was younger either. I did try to get involved in stuff I liked whether I was good or bad, at least I tried it out. Tennis, ice hockey, ballroom dance, fencing, kendo, power lifting, music, golf, motorcycling, etc.
4. I'm still a nerd of sorts. I'm less introverted and sometimes more extroverted, depending on the circumstances. I'm awful at public speaking.
JasonSJackson
Jah Sun Ma'at Ra
You come off as a self absorbed a$$hole that lives life thinking you are a victim, that your parents are to blame all the while never choosing to see, acknowledge or take any responsibility for the part you played in your previous experiences or your current situation. I see you as being a person who always has a story where you are the victim that you vent to tell the people you feel you are close to, never seeing the fault you have in any of them.
I think that while you say (and may on the surface actually believe) that you dont feel you are better then others i believe you do actually feel this way. It seems like you have confused your self absorption with intelligence/wisdom or something......but its not the case
You are not as smart as you think you are, others are not as stupid. Live in the present.
I think that while you say (and may on the surface actually believe) that you dont feel you are better then others i believe you do actually feel this way. It seems like you have confused your self absorption with intelligence/wisdom or something......but its not the case
You are not as smart as you think you are, others are not as stupid. Live in the present.
Atsym Sknyfs
Superstar
TS ... when's your birthday... I don't fully believe in that sign sh!t but I know to many people who do some things thats associated with signs and it usually fits...
BTW, I'm been told the same thing. I'm arrogant, serious, etc ... Now that I'm 40 most of the same people call me landlord or boss ... LOL
BTW, I'm been told the same thing. I'm arrogant, serious, etc ... Now that I'm 40 most of the same people call me landlord or boss ... LOL
NubianVitruvian
Retired
i feelz ya bruh. Your at the age were you have to cut your ties to the past, and begin putting your dent into life, carving out who you are in this world... lmfaoo i should'nt have played this sad violin music.
but yeah, you sound JUST like me last few years. But honestly, fukk it get money, when your sitting on a large bank account, you call the shots. Your going to use your creativity to set you free and all that jazz.
Trust, Im a self taught tattoo artist about to start at my first shop. Always wondering why my rents couldnt make a better life for me and my lifes goal is to do better for my kids and live my life to the fullest (despite my laziness). Trust bruh, in the long run your kosher.
The fact that you even can look at your life with this level of objectivity means something. You are one of this generation that sees throught the b/s of society, economy etc. Make it work for you. The future is borne of the past, but don't let it be the same
but yeah, you sound JUST like me last few years. But honestly, fukk it get money, when your sitting on a large bank account, you call the shots. Your going to use your creativity to set you free and all that jazz.
Trust, Im a self taught tattoo artist about to start at my first shop. Always wondering why my rents couldnt make a better life for me and my lifes goal is to do better for my kids and live my life to the fullest (despite my laziness). Trust bruh, in the long run your kosher.
The fact that you even can look at your life with this level of objectivity means something. You are one of this generation that sees throught the b/s of society, economy etc. Make it work for you. The future is borne of the past, but don't let it be the same
Don't change you are what you are, if it makes you happy. I'm content in my life, I always said I'd be perfectly happy being a recluse, cut off from civilization stacking my bread. I agrre with what tony bromo said hop on a plane to Cuba for a week, you'll come back a new man.
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