Jaded bitter people 
"You find him Attractive..but his NICENESS...BORES YOU"- Female Spoken Word artist
- Thread starter KENNY DA COOKER
- Start date
This is the same logic those women in those Baltimore housing projects was saying and u see what that lead to...
That's Why I tell u nice dudes don't even put these type of women on your radar...
But at least this woman was straight forward, so that let u make that detour before your ass crash
That's Why I tell u nice dudes don't even put these type of women on your radar...
But at least this woman was straight forward, so that let u make that detour before your ass crash
philmonroe
Superstar
I guess different strokes for different folks because it seems more like you acting like an a$$hole for no reason. Personally don't care if they know I'm with somebody I still act the same just want add any extra to lead them on. Situation number 1 I'd give her some basic stuff and left it at that or even if you want to add the girlfriend part to squash all the other stuff since you felt that way and kept it moving. Situation number 2 just tell her I'm with somebody and that be that. Situation number 3 asked her name introduced her to my girl and left it at that. Its almost always a way you can handle things without being a jerk about it. Low key I think it feeds your ego to be that way and for,that split second you feel like a girl that gets a lot of attention. No hate I just think outside of a few instances its really no need to try to make people feel bad for things like trying to talk to you esp when they don't know if you with that girl just cause she with you.Both, I can give 3 examples just this week past week.
1. Working out together at the gym, she was on the treadmill and I was.... as far away from a treadmill as a can get. One girl came up to me and started asking me questions and I was just like.. "they have trainers here, you can ask them" and put on my headphones.
2. We went to a party Friday night and as soon as she went to take a seat, Throw Dat ass in a Circle came on and some random girl started throwing it on me. I just shook my head, backed away and went to her.
3. At the event we went to, some girl I knew came up to me and was like, "its been such a long time, are you going to introduce me". But I forgot her name, so I was pretended not to hear her
I'm just not friendly to women in public when I'm around my girl. It doesn't feel natural
Eh see above I don't agree with great boundaries great ego maybe boundaries nah. Just my view from this limited stuff though since I don't know ole boy.
***mate
I like the way he handled the women in those particular scenarios though. You have to meet fire with fire - some of those interactions may have been innocent (in which case, yes, he could politely decline her advances. Afterall you can't fault someone for merely finding you attractive) and then you have the slick ladies i.e. treadmill-girl that you have to let her know what's up - no room for confusion.
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
There's a difference between a guy who is genuinely nice and a guy who is trying to get you to like him.
The first knows that if you don't like him, he'll be alright but he'll move on, the second has high expectations, and has already set up scenarios and fantasies that if you end up not liking him, he'll be hurt and disappointed. Basically, one accepts that everyone is not gonna click with him or like him and the second takes things personally.
The second type, can be attractive and usually my empathic nature draws me to them. I try to help them and get to know them but eventually I get drained from all the attention and love they desire that I am not ready to give them. When you love yourself enough to generate it, you won't have to search for it in other people. Relationships should not be two halves feeding off eachother, but two whole people coming together to share.
The first knows that if you don't like him, he'll be alright but he'll move on, the second has high expectations, and has already set up scenarios and fantasies that if you end up not liking him, he'll be hurt and disappointed. Basically, one accepts that everyone is not gonna click with him or like him and the second takes things personally.
The second type, can be attractive and usually my empathic nature draws me to them. I try to help them and get to know them but eventually I get drained from all the attention and love they desire that I am not ready to give them. When you love yourself enough to generate it, you won't have to search for it in other people. Relationships should not be two halves feeding off eachother, but two whole people coming together to share.
philmonroe
Superstar
I don't its wack to me but we are all different. Maybe you're insecure (please don't take it personal) maybe that's why you like it. This isn't a war its a person saying you're attractive and trying to talk to you. In all them cases the girl doesn't necessarily know he with his girl outside maybe the 3rd situation. Its no need to "fight fire with fire" esp when its the equivalent of killing a cockroach with a desert eagle.
I gave you alternative ways to handle each situation that didn't have to be so out there. You don't think what I said wouldn't have gotten the same results? You also seem to be talking out of both sides of your mouth by saying you can't fault somebody for being attracted to a person then saying be rude to them for it. It rarely has to be that people can sense what it is under normal conditions which the vast majority of interactions with people are.
All these bytchs lyin in this thread, aint no woman(of any race) want no nice man, they all want a thug psychopath nikka that will knock them upside the head, threaten them constantly, shyt talk them, force sex with them, and treat them like pure garbage. You see these hoes crying about criminals more than hardworking black men smh.
this is the hardest thing. And just finding new ways to challenge myself, like learning things and just getting out there. I believe in myself but I just need to get out of my head. because its just becoming stressful. My mental place of solace is becoming chaotic. But I believe I can accomplish things. If I lose weight first. That's the biggest thing that is bugging me.That will come with time. Sometimes putting yourself in challenging situations will reveal your true self.
I used to watch Elliot Hulse videos when I started working out, and he says some pretty outthere shyt, but he generally operates on the premise that resistance makes you stronger in all areas. It dawned on me that I have always excelled whenever I wanted something and challenged myself in order to get it - just like my father. When I want to learn about something, I face challenges. When I got back into piano, I took lessons again to challenge myself. When I wanted to gain more social awareness, I challenged myself to socialize and be myself a lot more. When I wanted to learn more about feminism and shyt like that which I'd have previously not cared about, I challenged myself and listened to things that I probably wouldn't feel good listening to, but challenged me to understand things from a wide perspective.
The truth is that you won't always be comfortable, and you have to find comfort in your discomfort at times. For me, my fallback was to focus on details and small shyt. I literally started to micromanage my social persona in my 20s until like last year, where I've now settled into a cadence that is quintessentially me. I don't know if it's the same for you. First thing I worked on was communication style. For instance, I naturally use a lot of unnecessarily long words, and I'm accommodating. I also get very passionate and expressive when I'm interested in talking to someone. To other people, I come across as a smart person with an interesting take on things. So that's kinda my niche and I build on that. Figure out the shyt people like about you when you talk to them and build on it. People won't notice your awkwardness as much.
One of the important things you gotta do aswell when communicating with people - especially women - is focus all on them. This was the hardest thing to learn, especialy as it seems counterintuitive to all the shyt above that I wrote, but showing interest and getting out of your head will automatically make you seem less awkward. Then it's easier to be the natural you. If you aren't interested in who they are and what they have to say though, don't try too hard to fake it though
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
Everyone is different. Some people can get away with relaxed boundaries other know themselves enough to create less space for chances. Just like some alcoholics are fine with their friends drinking around them and others like to stay away from bars and alcohol, period.
Everyone has a different pace.
IVS
Superstar
This is still the jungle brehs, we just dressed the sh!t up with concrete and metal, and threw on some more clothes, but this is still the jungle. All that nice sh!t is nice, but you have to know when to throw it out the window. Be a predator, pounce and say and do what you please sometimes. Channel your inner savage. You don't have to be nice all the time. Just be you. Dudes think being nice will attract woman to them or get them pu$$y, then they get mad because their niceness is not working lol.
No offense taken as you do not know me personally
However, you should note that I never said he had to be rude where it was not called for. OK?
Since we were not there, I used the term 'fight fire with fire' in the sense of if OP interpreted the ladies advances as overstepping his boundaries, in the presence of his lady, he dealt with them in that manner. That's all.
StickStickly
Superstar
Gross.