Y'all REALLY don't wanna get married brehs?

[chkmeout]

Post a link, because the latest number I'm seeing is 39%, with younger generations being even less likely to split.

The Divorce Rate Is Dropping. That May Not Actually Be Good News

And 39% vs 45% is not that much... still less than half.

man stfu gawd damn

 

[L. Deezy]

What about the rest who do have stuff to lose ?

The lawyers and tech brehs who spent 80 hours a week eating sh!t from cacs and being clowned by everybody because they didn't party enough?

The biz-owners whose lights got shut off and they were evicted and on the streets for a HOT minute with dry d!ck ?

The sons of immigrants who had to get that pressure from their parents to excel or be disowned ?

The finance/consultant brehs who never see their apartments due to travel ?



Why the f*ck would they risk paying off some girls student debt just so she can rinse all his money 7 years down the line because she can ?




F*ck outta here

I dont even know what you talking bout in here. Are you implying you have money??

 

[L. Deezy]

So, why do you still post here bruh? With how you're up in here sounding like a bird...your contribution wont be missed.

this place needs balance. Thats why I post...

Yall scared of marriage but end up slaves to child support.

backwards nyggas.. Y'all stay fighting the lesser fight.

As a married breh, Im more scared of Child Support laws

 

[SPACE IS FAKE]

Nah

 

[Cynic]

I dont even know what you talking bout in here. Are you implying you have money??

You talk about "most nikkas" too broke to lose a house etc..


What about those with assets and disposable income at risk ?

 

[MaxPain]

For a site that’s so against marriage you guys sure love to belittle, shame, and beat down women that aren’t married.

Cuz we’re toxic males duh

 

[Crude]

@Crude

1. You still are going to retire eventually you dont want to be sharing with someone you aren't with.

2. I currently know a guy with a really good job now that pays his ex wife alimony. He makes very good money, but I wouldn't call him rich. She got the house too. Nice two story new construction 5,000 square feet house with near the bayou.

3. Most guys dont even know their old lady is fooling with someone else and either never do or find out when its late.

 

[JerseyFinest!]

I always wanted to get married

but now at the age of 36 that want is becoming less and less.

I’ve literally watched all my boys that got married get divorced or damn near on the brink of it these last 10 yrs.

30 and up women are mad jaded and/or pressed for it, so after a month of causal dating they’re already asking “what are we”

Younger females I just don’t be having any mental connection with them, it’s all physical. Plus younger females play too many petty games, I just don’t be beat. Which seems to make them like me more, I still don’t be beat once I peep the games.

I be on my Virgo ish and extra picky. So I know I’m part of the blame.

But I definitely don’t want to be 60 still out here dating. It’s rough out here

 

[Dameon Farrow]

We need marriage and strong black families... If you don't get that, then...

You can't have shyt without strong families. But these dudes love to get on some kind of militant tip. Then accuse you of using militant like a bad word. That's why I don't take them seriously. They think they can have allllll this shyt without strong families. Never in history.....you know what nevermind.....

You're right you either understand it or you don't.

To this they'll say...But you don't have to get married. You dudes aren't fooling anybody. You're not trying to 'shack' either. You just wanna fukk and flee and then get on the Coli and talk down on folks because you're about 10% woke. Please.

And they really don't care about black females so stop that dead in its tracks!

If this doesn't apply to you kudos but the guilt parties know who they are.

 

[Mrhateeverything]

Been married once. Will never do it again.
I'm not good in relationships and they are easy to find but I realized they aren't for me. I never liked answering to no one , and like wise other then my kids don't like no one answering to me. I was in long term relationships from 18-31 , married for about 4-5 years .

All that building a legacy etc is nonsense. No one gives a damn if you married or not.
Dying alone argument - My pops was married to my moms for 40 years. She died like five years ago , and my dad has no interest in finding anyone else. We all die alone in the end .

Just don't see the benefits of it. Not cause I'm bitter , I don't hate women . My favorite people in my life besides my pops are all women. Just ain't for me , and alot of people shouldn't get married. You see girls and guys on they 3rd or 4th marriage.

That's just me tho. I don't give a damn what anyone else does. There ain't no movement that stopped me from wanting to remarry etc. Just personal preference

 

[Ya' Cousin Cleon]

brehs here is anti-black family, it couldn't be more clear in threads like these

with that said, me and my girl tying that knot in July been together 6 years, our reception finna crack

You can't have shyt without strong families. But these dudes love to get on some kind of militant tip. Then accuse you of using militant like a bad word. That's why I don't take them seriously. They think they can have allllll this shyt without strong families. Never in history.....you know what nevermind.....

You're right you either understand it or you don't.

To this they'll say...But you don't have to get married. You dudes aren't fooling anybody. You're not trying to 'shack' either. You just wanna fukk and flee and then get on the Coli and talk down on folks because you're about 10% woke. Please.

And they really don't care about black females so stop that dead in its tracks!

If this doesn't apply to you kudos but the guilt parties know who they are.

 

[you're NOT "n!ggas"]

I gotta catch up with everything yall said so far

To those asking what men get outta marriage... Uhhh a stronger community?
Generational wealth?
Do y'all have any interest in us prospering as a people??? If so, how the hell could you seriously ask what MEN (as in generally) get outta marriage?

You can't have shyt without strong families. But these dudes love to get on some kind of militant tip. Then accuse you of using militant like a bad word. That's why I don't take them seriously. They think they can have allllll this shyt without strong families. Never in history.....you know what nevermind.....

You're right you either understand it or you don't.

To this they'll say...But you don't have to get married. You dudes aren't fooling anybody. You're not trying to 'shack' either. You just wanna fukk and flee and then get on the Coli and talk down on folks because you're about 10% woke. Please.

And they really don't care about black females so stop that dead in its tracks!

If this doesn't apply to you kudos but the guilt parties know who they are.

Shots fired

 

[klientel]

Do all the GMB brehs plan to have kids at some point? If so, do you plan to just be a baby daddy forever? Do you not want to bring your kids up in a 2 parent household? Or do you plan on just shacking up?


Or are you looking forward to dying alone and nobody mourning you?

 

[Silky Johnson]

When I was younger I was GMB but nothing like going home to your family every day I can't imagine not seeing my son everyday, changing his diapers, watching him grow My brother had a kid with his ex gf and he only gets to see him every other weekend and paying child support

I came in here to say this. Props breh .

A lot of people have grown up in or around so many toxic, fukked up situations that you don't even know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. When you are born, you're dependent on your parents and some never evolve from that state. They grow up desperately seeking somebody else for their emotional, financial, spiritual well-being.

A good majority of people are able to achieve a state of independence. You have evolved to the point where you don't need the validation of others for your own well-being and you are not with the shyts when it comes to anything that can be perceived to put you back in the lower dependent state. This is why so many of yall are afraid of marriage. It's the " I can do bad all by myself" mentality. You definitely don't have time for people stuck on the dependent rung. However, this state leaves you without intimacy and lacking the companionship that has come to define the human experience.

The best marriages and partnerships are the ones that can sustain Interdependence. These are joints where two independent people form like voltron and become fully emotionally available and vulnerable with each other while maintaining their emotional & spiritual sovereignty. In other words, you can maintain a healthy WE without sacrificing what makes ME happy.

Interdependence Is Not Codependence
Interdependence is not the same thing as being codependent. A codependent person tends to rely heavily on others for their sense of self and well-being. There is no ability for that person to distinguish where they end and their partner begins, there is an enmeshed sense of responsibility to another person to meet their needs and/or for their partner to meet all of their needs to feel okay about who they are.


Traits of a codependent relationship include things like:2

• Poor/no boundaries
• People-pleasing behaviors
• Reactivity
• Unhealthy, ineffective communication
• Manipulation
• Difficulty with emotional intimacy
• Controlling behaviors
• Blaming each other
• Low self-esteem of one or both partners
• No personal interests or goals outside the relationship

Codependent relationships are not healthy and do not allow partners room to be themselves, to grow and to be autonomous. These unhealthy relationships involve one partner, or both, relying heavily on the other and the relationship for their sense of self, feelings of worthiness and overall emotional well-being. There are often feelings of guilt and shame for one or both partners when the relationship is not going well.


As therapist and codependency specialist, Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT describes, codependency involves "someone who has lost their core sense of self, so that his or her thinking and behavior revolves around someone or something external, including a person, a substance, or an activity, such as sex or gambling."


Why Interdependence Is Healthy for a Relationship
Interdependence involves a balance of self and others within the relationship, recognizing that both partners are working to be present and meet each other's physical and emotional needs in appropriate and meaningful ways. Partners are not demanding of one another and they do not look to their partner for feelings of worthiness. This gives each partner space to maintain a sense of self, room to move toward each other in times of need and the freedom to make these decisions without fear of what will happen in the relationship.

Characteristics of an Interdependent Relationship
A healthy, interdependent relationship can be recognized by some of the following:3

• Healthy boundaries
• Active listening
• Time for personal interests
• Clear communication
• Taking personal responsibility for behaviors
• Creating safety for each other to be vulnerable
• Engaging and responding to each other
• Healthy self-esteem
• Being open and approachable with each other

When partners feel cherished and valued, the relationship becomes a safe haven and a place where the couple can be interdependent. This means that they understand they are not alone in the relationship, can turn toward each other safely in times of need and feel secure that their partner will be present.

How to Build an Interdependent Relationship
The key to building an interdependent relationship is to be mindful of who you are from the beginning. Many times people are looking for or entering, relationships simply to avoid feeling alone, without any personal reflection of who they are, what they value, and their goals for the relationship. Taking time for this kind of personal reflection allows you to enter a new relationship with an awareness of self that is critical for the establishment of an interdependent relationship.

 

[Bless't]

Why is it that damn near EVERYONE who was once married but now divorced, say they will NEVER remarry?