Ya'll heard Beyonce new song, it's Pro Black as fukk b

Doobie Doo

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BEYONCE IS THE NEW BLACK: THE 10 BLACKEST MOMENTS IN BEYONCE’S “FORMATION” VIDEO
Damon Young, 2/6/16
formation.png

In 2014, Surrey NanoSystems, a tech company in England, debuted VantaBlack — a substance they claim is the Blackest Black ever seen.

The coating reflects so little light, three dimensions seem to disappear.” said Ben Jensen, founder of Surrey NanoSystems, in an interview with the New York Times.When you look at Vantablack on some wrinkled aluminum foil, it looks like a black, flat, featureless void, even with your eyes right up to it.

Perhaps VantaBlack is the Blackest substance ever created in a lab. But it cannot be the Blackest Black ever seen. Because, for it to truly be the Blackest Black, it would be thick, not flat. Thicker than hour-old Cream of Wheat, perhaps. And featurefull, not featureless. It would contain references to post-coital Cheddar Bay Biscuits. And Jackson family nostril width. It would include Big Freedia. And babies with baby haired Afros. And Black preachers rocking Ghostfaced-sized silver crosses over pinstriped suits. And random body rolling. And glorious titties in hallways and empty swimming pools. There would be allusions to #BlackLivesMatter. And mentions of Creole ancestries, even though we haven’t quite collectively decided if a “Creole ancestry” is a real thing. And Frank’s Hot Sauce floating in the bottom of thousand-dollar clutches. It would utterly flabbergast White people, and make Black people say things like “Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!!!!!”

It would be Beyonce’s “Formation” video, the Blackest Black thing these Black eyes have seen in a long-ass, Black-ass time. I could seriously sit here and list the 100 Blackest Things from this video. But since my family is having a family dinner at Red Lobster later this evening, I can’t spend that much time writing this, so 10 will have to do.

(Seriously. I’m totally not playing about Red Lobster. By the time you finish reading this, I will be on the way there. This was scheduled earlier today, and I’m actually considering cutting the list to four so I can get moving.)

1. Big Freedia doing Big Freedia things

Putting Big Freedia on a song is like casting Clifton Powell in a movie. It doesn’t even matter what the actual title is. Because any movie featuring him in any way should just be called “Black People Doing Some Black-Ass shyt.” Or, perhaps “Chitlins: Pt 2.”

2. “Y’all haters corny with that Illuminati mess”

The very first words out of Beyonce’s mouth were not-so-subtle shots at Hoteps. Perhaps she took the quiz.

3.I like my baby hair with baby hair and afros

This is Beyonce saying “But really, fukk you” to the people who’ve somehow formed their retched and preternaturally chapped lips to criticize the hair of Blue Ivy and, by proxy, any other Black baby with regular Black people hair and features.

4.I like my negro nose with Jackson 5 nostrils

There are approximately 270,000 different ways to unpack this line. But all I kept thing about is Big Freedia, and how having a wider nasal path makes the smell of cornbread and slow cooked collard greens even more glorious.

5. “You mix that Negro with that Creole make a Texas bama

Wait, aren’t Creole people Black? And wouldn’t that make them Negro too? And…you know what? Nevermind. That shyt was hot. I’m over thinking things here. I just need to free my mind and allow Beyonce to slay.

6. “I got hot sauce in my bag. Swag

Which is Blacker, carrying a bottle of Frank’s Hot Sauce in a purse or pocket everywhere, or carrying a deck of cards in a purse or pocket everywhere so you’ll always be prepared to play Spades? (I think the hot sauce is a smidgen Blacker, but I could be swayed the other way. It’s close, man.)

7. When he fukk me good I take his ass to Red Lobster

This line is the single Blackest thing I’ve ever heard in 2016. Because Blackness is, above all, truth. And there has never been better sex than pre and post Red Lobster sex. Not shower sex. Not cruise sex. Not spaceship sex. Not “it’s been six weeks since the baby was born” sex. Not even “thanks for the co-sign on the car loan” sex. Nothing. Cheddar Bay biscuits are Negro Catnip.

Also, related, she unwittingly just created a new way for dudes to nonverbally brag on our dikks. Because from this moment forward, if you see a couple at Red Lobster, the first thought will be “Damn. She’s taking him to Red Lobster — and he’s getting the Ultimate Feast! — so he must be making her squirt.”

8. This guy



9. Beyonce doing Beyonce things. On an empty police car. Underwater. In New Orleans.

A reminder of the importance, relevance, and vitality of #BlackLivesMatter. Because we all remember the thing that happened there 11 years ago that reminded everyone Black lives don’t.

10. The Black kid in the Black hoodie dancing in front of the line of White police officers with their hands up.

Is it a coincidence that this song and this video and this scene were released the same weekend Trayvon Martin would have been 21? I don’t know. Probably. Who knows? I do know that the New York Times needs to run a retraction, because VantaBlack is now only the second Blackest Black ever seen.

Beyonce Is The New Black: The 10 Blackest Moments In Beyonce’s “Formation” Video | VSB
 

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This shyt ain't got nothing to do with no fukking BLM. Ya'll need to bush them fukks. That's a white supremacist network group.
 

agnosticlady

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Personally, I am not a fan of the song. No shade towards beyonce....I am just not feeling the song. Also I do not consider Beyonce to be Pro-black. Also @Colicat I think after Beyonce came out with Crazy in Love people started calling her mixed/creole. Before than people called her black. I remember an article speaking about celebrities over time and how their hairstyles changed over time. They criticized Beyonces braids, and curly kinky hair styles calling it "immature", "tacky", "weird", and her mostly straight hair now as cool, beautiful, and in style. I don't get when people say Creole. To me they are all black. My mother is lighter than Beyonce and she is black although people try to tell her that is mixed. Although Beyonce is a confident woman I do believe that she was affected by the white media. I could be wrong, but it reminds me of how there are certian black people who push pro-black or portray pro-black yet deep down you can tell they have self hate issues like @Londilon mentioned.

1000x7794.jpg



beyonce-knowles-picture-001.JPG



beyonce-knowles-picture-044.jpg
 

agnosticlady

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Yeah... I don't really buy it.

Bey will forever be blond and reject blackness in every other way so excuse me if I give her the side eye when she drops a few "pro black" lines in a song.

I feel like she's only doing it because that's what's popular these days.


She is trying to become bigger and spread her brand. Am I knocking her? No not at all, but I do not get genuine from the song. I am a fan of her music, but I am just not feeling this.
 

Londilon

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Ya'll really don't understand shyt but it's okay, I am ten years deep in this shyt. From year 1-4, I wouldn't have a clue why this video would be Black other than the stop shooting us part but for those in the know. This was a bigger f you than Rihianna's bytch betta have my money which was about reparations.
are you sure because she said it was about her lawyer owing her money
 

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are you sure because she said it was about her lawyer owing her money
She gonna say what she gonna say to the media. Look who buying the music. Think nikka, think. Ain't nobody saying shyt directly since Lauryn got blackballed.
 

agnosticlady

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Pro black but scared to show your hair texture and mention more than twice that you mixed with white. :mjlol:

I remember being a kid and seeing a hair dye commercial. I remember seeing Beyonce and wondering if she really has blonde hair. Then there was another commercial of her choosing makeup and it listed all of what she is "mixed" with.




 

yo moms

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beyonce is not pro black. she doesnt write her music. when you get to that level of pop everything you do is contrived and for an agenda.

she could give a fukk about black people shes a known narcisssist in real life. shes only with jay z for publicity. shes a known cheater and spoiled brat.

all shes good for is dancing around half naked. i mean why not do porn. thats all her music videos are. all of them. just go look.
 

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Personally, I am not a fan of the song. No shade towards beyonce....I am just not feeling the song. Also I do not consider Beyonce to be Pro-black. Also @Colicat I think after Beyonce came out with Crazy in Love people started calling her mixed/creole. Before than people called her black. I remember an article speaking about celebrities over time and how their hairstyles changed over time. They criticized Beyonces braids, and curly kinky hair styles calling it "immature", "tacky", "weird", and her mostly straight hair now as cool, beautiful, and in style. I don't get when people say Creole. To me they are all black. My mother is lighter than Beyonce and she is black although people try to tell her that is mixed. Although Beyonce is a confident woman I do believe that she was affected by the white media. I could be wrong, but it reminds me of how there are certian black people who push pro-black or portray pro-black yet deep down you can tell they have self hate issues like @Londilon mentioned.

1000x7794.jpg



beyonce-knowles-picture-001.JPG



beyonce-knowles-picture-044.jpg
We seen what team natural been doing over the last four years. Do we really want to go there again? We all know that hairstyles ain't got shyt to do with Pro Blackness at this point.
 

Supreme HD

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If bey really about that pro black life then I fully expect her to perform this shyt with pure blackness at the superbowl. :mjpls:
 
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