Worst Date /Sexual Experiences

[WaveCapsByOscorp™]

i let her shower gave her a spare rag was like make sure u clean that ass for 10 mins straight no breaks

i had a bad date about a month ago. it wasn't anecdotal or funny or anything like that. the girl just pissed me off. had me going places i didn't want to go. and it wasn't like i didn't want to go there for good reason either. basically she wanted to go out this one street here where there's a ton of live music (not bourbon street) and i normally work on that street a lot. any time i go out there i'm usually in work mode and i end up running into at least 20-30 people i know. i mean, what type of date is that? if i wanted to talk with my other friends and hang out with them, i would have cooked at home and drank there then went out, not pay for a meal and have you tag along. i just don't like going out there on my days off. not to mention she wasn't that interesting (to me at least). the only reason we hooked up was because i was about to hook up with her other friend from atlanta one evening but my gig lasted long so she already went back to her spot and was leaving to go back to atlanta the next day. the girl i ended up going on a date with found me on facebook and sent me these messages about hanging out...

 

[mbewane]

When I was living in this city about an hour and a half from Paris I met this thick chick at some party, she was shaking it like crazy, I finally man up and chat a little with her, get some info from a friend...long story short, a couple weeks later she calls me on a friday afternoon asking me what I'm doing that evening, I say nothing she says well come over, I'm like ok, mind you I wasn't even at my place so I hop on a train to Paris (an hour and a half) and take another train because she lives in some god-forsaken banlieue, all in all I take like 3 hours to get there and I don't have any other clothes than what I'm wearing. I get there and she's like where are your clothes I'm like what clothes well to go to the club later on I say you never mentionned a club so I'm feeling shytty because she can't go out with her friends and I'm basically stuck there (too late to go back). So anyway we start chilling and watching a movie and it's going ok, then I proceed to heat it up end up in her bed, I undress her and she had like a BUSH down there, I'm like damn but the worst is she goes all stiff on me, like she wouldn't move at all I keep on trying to get her going but the girl is like paralyzed I'm like wtf I guess maybe she had had some traumatic experience but shyt ended up sleeping on the couch and taking the train back the next morning

 

[EffedUp]

That story sure didn't go anywhere

My bad...

 

[So-Chi]

no im not basic like that.


Another one: This was when I was dabbling in online dating. I was exchanging emails with this dude(who lived in Jacksonville) knowing fully well i didnt plan to meet him because he was a single dad of 2. This dude emails me saying "oh im going to be in ATL this weekend for work. wanna meet up for drinks" I figured why not....

We went to Benihana(dont laugh) and after dinner, i said thanks, nice meeting you, enjoy your weekend. On my way home this dude calls me and cusses me out. he says he came to ATL to meet me....wait, you said for WORK.
him: let's go to a club or something.
me: no thanks. I thought you said you were in the city for work
him: well yeah i said that but i was here to meet you
me: im sorry but im not interested
him: fukk you bytch. you made me drive all the way down here. for only dinner. you're a stupid selfish bytch.
i hang up and turned off my phone when he kept calling back to back. i wake up the next morning and i have FIFTEEN missed calls from him.

I dodged a bullet there

How did you have 15 missed calls if your phone was off?

 

[Peter Parker]

I met this chick once downtown who was in town for a small business owners convention and she tells me she lives 2 hours away. After a few weeks of talking/texting she convinces me to come see her. I thought why not and if it doesn't go well at least I'll be by the beach and can chill for the night. So I go there and of course its prom night so all the decent to good restaurants are packed with high school kids. So we go to an Ale House to get wings and afterwards we go walking on the beach. On the beach she's holding my hand a saying this is the best date she's ever had and all that. I'm like we only ate wings and walked on the beach. Instead of going back to her place she takes me to her salon and we're up in there kissing and talking. She really wants it but she says I don't want to rush anything. So I'm like its cool I don't want to pressure you and its getting late so I should get on the road. She locks up the shop and walks me to the car and we kiss one more time and she says I think we should go back go...I'm aight. She hops on top of me and I beat it up for like 20 mins. Afterwards she starts crying and becoming emotional...I'm like what did I do. She's like nothing, this is the best date I've had and the sex was so good and you're the first guy I been with since my divorce.

At this point I'm like I already know I got a stage 5 clinger on my hands. It took me months to get her off my back. One weekend she showed up at my apt with my favorite dish...a pan of lasagna

As long as she was sexy and didnt have kids, I dont see a problem with her being clingy like that

 

[Kings County]

I'm like damn but the worst is she goes all stiff on me, like she wouldn't move at all I keep on trying to get her going but the girl is like paralyzed I'm like wtf I guess maybe she had had some traumatic experience but shyt ended up sleeping on the couch and taking the train back the next morning

 

[young3000]

As long as she was sexy and didnt have kids, I dont see a problem with her being clingy like that

she had a kid and she was sexy. I still get texts from her talking about no other dude she goes out with compares to me and how she would drop anyone to be in a relationship with me

 

[Kings County]

How did you have 15 missed calls if your phone was off?

when u turn it back on it says how many calls u missed nikka still got a

 

[So-Chi]

when u turn it back on it says how many calls u missed nikka still got a

 

[Peter Parker]

she had a kid and she was sexy. I still get texts from her talking about no other dude she goes out with compares to me and how she would drop anyone to be in a relationship with me

What's her race and how many kids?

 

[young3000]

What's her race and how many kids?

white/Italian and 1 kid

 

[Peter Parker]

white/Italian and 1 kid

 

[L&HH]

when u turn it back on it says how many calls u missed nikka still got a

 

[Starburst]

no i said something like "are you seriously leaving me right now" and she said "yes i just want to be friends im not really into you and the dinner proved thats all we could be" something along those lines

this bytch even asked me if i wanted to join them partying lol. i just walked away and went home and went to bed early. ive seen her since but never talk to her even know she thinks shyts all good.

Sorry dude but I've been hard for the last two minutes at the bold part.

 

[Dada]

At this point I'm like I already know I got a stage 5 clinger on my hands. It took me months to get her off my back. One weekend she showed up at my apt with my favorite dish...a pan of lasagna

Did you go Garfield or pass on the lasagna?