Worst Date /Sexual Experiences

[Ronnie Lott]

took a chick out to dinner. left dinner i was like so where we going now :saywha:

she was like your house get her over there put a movie on we snuggled up in the couch start the demonic nibbles on her neck she put the face on slide my hand under her shirt shes like 1 min lemme use the bathroom real quick im like ok i figure she needs to freshen up so she goes im chilling on the couch fixing the pillows the right way and everything next thing i know i hear a deep breath followed by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0BBSN2g6e0

i was like :saywha: :saywha: :saywha:

she had the door open to im like close the door shes like the meal must have been bad im so embarrased

i had the face the whole time

she was done i was like ok lemme get u home she still wanted to fukk i was like nahh i cant go into that nuclear fallout zonee she was like ill showerrr i let her shower gave her a spare rag was like make sure u clean that ass for 10 mins straight no breaks

 

[wishbone]

so i've been dating this girl for a few weeks. she is by far one of the hottest girls i've ever dated. definitely top 3 of all time. like, i know how fortunate i am to be dating her right now.

anyways, she knows that i want to fukk her. like so bad. and she's been fukking with my head about it though. i haven't hit it yet, but gotten so damn close. like making out and under the clothes touching, but every time we almost get to doing it, she stops and keeps withholding from me. i think she gets off on my torture, but i'm cool with it.

then the other night happened. we went on a date and went back to her place afterward. in her ultimate move to fukk with me, she said "let me put on a show for you"; and started stripping. and got naked, she then got on her bed, and took out her dildo. it was fukking huge and black. anyways, she started fukking herself with it in front of me. it was so awesome. it was like those online videos, but in real person. i can't describe how sexy it was. needless to say, i had a raging boner and couldn't take it anymore.

i told her that she needed the real deal and went over to her on the bed. she then stopped me and said "i'll play with your toy.... if you play with my toy"; i was like, WTF? then she simultaneously put her lips on my dikk and put the dildo to my lips. "suck it"; she said. "i'll suck yours";. oh my god. it was weird. like, i was just so horny, and wanted her to suck my d1ck so bad, that i just went with it. then she started moving that sh1t in and out of my mouth, like, really mouth fukking me with a black dildo while she sucked my d1ck. i had a brief moment of "this shyts gay"; but i didnt want her to stop giving me head. before i knew it, i couldn't help it, and i came. with a dildo in my mouth.

Dog, thats the funniest thing i have heard in my life.
Thank you for sharing.

Did you try it again tho?

 

[opulence]

worst date: I met this guy I had been talking to for a few months online that I had planned to meet up with once I moved from Nyc to Atl...he told me he would show me around and he was really cool.....I drove thankfully...I did not know the area though so he directed me around...so he volunteered to take me to dinner and directs me where we need to go...so he wants to go to chilis...I am like whatever...I order pasta..and we are laughing and joking and he wanted to show me pics of his daughter on his phone...then as he is scrolling he passes me the phone and is like check out this pic...and its his dikc...so I pass him back the phone and tell him him not to play himself...then he starts whining about the tab when he gets the bill I was you are lucky I did not take you to a place I would eat at...major turn off...so he caught an attitude but I tried to keep the cool vibe going because despite the stupid move and him acting cheap he was a cool guy so I tried to just shrug it off...

so we leave the restaurant and we go to the movies and he was being cool...but then we leave and it was pretty late...I forgot where we were heading but he said he wanted to take me somewhere special but I started noticing although I did not know the area...things started looking familiar...so I told him it looks like we were going in circles...turns out we were... he was lost!

so Im like wtf? how are you going to take me somewhere and get us lost? at the time my car did not have a GPS in it so I was sitting there irritated like seriously? I just moved from BK I cannot help you and at this point we are just burning gas...we were near the airport and the area we were in it was suppppppppperrrrr dark like to the point where if I turned off my headlights you could not see the road...

so we started arguing and he confesses he needs glasses and he cannot see the signs good and he is sorry...Im like sorry?! smh how the fukc do we get back home cause I want to drop you off and go home...so after arguing for 15 mins we circle near the airport and I was like maybe I could stop there and find out how to get in the right direction...I slowed down for a speedbump and this Niigga hops out my car while I am still driving and curses me out telling me to get myself the fukc home by myself and he is tired of my shiit

Worst sexual experience: my first time having sex with this guy I was dating...we were being adventurous and we had sex outside in this random building in the BX...so he put on the condom struggled to get the tip and worked it in very slowly...He pumped once and I cringed it hurt so bad I wanted to stop he pumped twice and he stopped...I thought he heard someone coming so I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing we just need to leave....I look down at the condom and I see cum and I am like...you came after 2 pumps?! I was both relieved and amused... haha we are still friends though...we laugh about it to this day...

 

[Non Sequitur]

When I was in college This kid from sociology wanted the P.
So I entertained the thirst for a bit, he was fineeeee.
End of semester was near and I offered help with study guides for exams and what not.
Anything to get him in my house.
After a bottle or two I went in for the kill, He ripped my clothes off and got on top.


Only... As I laid there.... he was jackhammering me.
but.... not my p*ssy....

Just in between my thighs...

I was stuck, astonished, I wanted to laugh in his face so damn bad...
He started to talk dirty about how I loved him deep in my p*ssy.
I.. was ... WEAK. lmaooooo
After 6 mins of jackhammering he came.

I told him to pack his belongings, go home, and study by himself.

The disappointment was real that evening.

The is strong in this young padawan...

 

[Kings County]

......I made some remark like "not according to that reduced fare metrocard".

 

[Kings County]

worst date: I met this guy I had been talking to for a few months online that I had planned to meet up with once I moved from Nyc to Atl...he told me he would show me around and he was really cool.....I drove thankfully...I did not know the area though so he directed me around...so he volunteered to take me to dinner and directs me where we need to go...so he wants to go to chilis...I am like whatever...I order pasta..and we are laughing and joking and he wanted to show me pics of his daughter on his phone...then as he is scrolling he passes me the phone and is like check out this pic...and its his dikc...so I pass him back the phone and tell him him not to play himself...then he starts whining about the tab when he gets the bill I was you are lucky I did not take you to a place I would eat at...major turn off...so he caught an attitude but I tried to keep the cool vibe going because despite the stupid move and him acting cheap he was a cool guy so I tried to just shrug it off...

so we leave the restaurant and we go to the movies and he was being cool...but then we leave and it was pretty late...I forgot where we were heading but he said he wanted to take me somewhere special but I started noticing although I did not know the area...things started looking familiar...so I told him it looks like we were going in circles...turns out we were... he was lost!

so Im like wtf? how are you going to take me somewhere and get us lost? at the time my car did not have a GPS in it so I was sitting there irritated like seriously? I just moved from BK I cannot help you and at this point we are just burning gas...we were near the airport and the area we were in it was suppppppppperrrrr dark like to the point where if I turned off my headlights you could not see the road...

so we started arguing and he confesses he needs glasses and he cannot see the signs good and he is sorry...Im like sorry?! smh how the fukc do we get back home cause I want to drop you off and go home...so after arguing for 15 mins we circle near the airport and I was like maybe I could stop there and find out how to get in the right direction...I slowed down for a speedbump and this Niigga hops out my car while I am still driving and curses me out telling me to get myself the fukc home by myself and he is tired of my shiit

Worst sexual experience: my first time having sex with this guy I was dating...we were being adventurous and we had sex outside in this random building in the BX...so he put on the condom struggled to get the tip and worked it in very slowly...He pumped once and I cringed it hurt so bad I wanted to stop he pumped twice and he stopped...I thought he heard someone coming so I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing we just need to leave....I look down at the condom and I see cum and I am like...you came after 2 pumps?! I was both relieved and amused... haha we are still friends though...we laugh about it to this day...

classics

 

[re'up]

That story is kinda creepy, when the dude started driving around in the dark after the movies, to take you 'somewhere special', you weren't unnerved a little? I can't believe the date lasted past the iphone pic, plus Chillis, and complaining about the bill. The guy jumping out of the car is classic..

 

[1980sCokeFlow]

I was 18 and started talking to this chick off of a chatline and she sent me pics and she was REALLY good looking, she even sent some pics of her t*ts and they were big and purty. I noticed in a tit pic she sent me that her arm was pushing one of her t*ts really close to the other but I thought she was attemping to be sexy and paid it no mind. We talked for about 2 months and I noticed she wasn't really in a rush to meet up. One day I was just like fukk it, you ain't trying to meet me so we might as well stop talking. She was like cool and a week goes by and she calls and said she wanted to meet but we need to talk about something before we went out.

I was like," Please tell me you ain't a dude or something!?!?!?!" She laughed it off and told me no. I told her I didn't do secrets and told her I was about to hang up. She told me she would tell me part of the story and ended up telling me she had a twin and she would tell me the rest when I got there. She was sexy in the pics and I was thirsty so I didn't sweat it much.

Just so happens I got my brand new 05 Mustang that day and I hit her up and she told me to call her when I got to her hood and she would be outside waiting. I hit her and got the rest of the directions and pulled up on her like . She was standing outside with her sis and I was like they are gorgeous and they dressed really well. Super fashionable....

They walking to the whip and I was like because one had this automatic limp and had like a chicken wing arm that was stuck by her side but her forearm was kinda up under the tit.

At this point i'm like don't let it be that one. Her normal sis opened the passenger door and the disabled twin got in and me trying to be nice, I look at her and was like," What's good shawty." She looked at me and nodded her head and smiled. Oh, turns out that pic with the pushed in tit was because of her arm.

Her normal sis was like, "She's deaf, I have been talking for her" At this point I couldn't take it and literally said .... The disabled sis started crying and got out the car as best as she could and walked back to the porch.... There was more but that is the gist... I ended up dating the normal sis on the low for a few months until she started feeling bad and cut me off completely out of the blue.

 

[Brofato]

no im not basic like that.


Another one: This was when I was dabbling in online dating. I was exchanging emails with this dude(who lived in Jacksonville) knowing fully well i didnt plan to meet him because he was a single dad of 2. This dude emails me saying "oh im going to be in ATL this weekend for work. wanna meet up for drinks" I figured why not....

We went to Benihana(dont laugh) and after dinner, i said thanks, nice meeting you, enjoy your weekend. On my way home this dude calls me and cusses me out. he says he came to ATL to meet me....wait, you said for WORK.
him: let's go to a club or something.
me: no thanks. I thought you said you were in the city for work
him: well yeah i said that but i was here to meet you
me: im sorry but im not interested
him: fukk you bytch. you made me drive all the way down here. for only dinner. you're a stupid selfish bytch.
i hang up and turned off my phone when he kept calling back to back. i wake up the next morning and i have FIFTEEN missed calls from him.

I dodged a bullet there

You did sorta lead dude on. Not saying you owe him sex but you prolly should've stopped at the emails.

 

[EffedUp]

I was 18 and started talking to this chick off of a chatline and she sent me pics and she was REALLY good looking, she even sent some pics of her t*ts and they were big and purty. I noticed in a tit pic she sent me that her arm was pushing one of her t*ts really close to the other but I thought she was attemping to be sexy and paid it no mind. We talked for about 2 months and I noticed she wasn't really in a rush to meet up. One day I was just like fukk it, you ain't trying to meet me so we might as well stop talking. She was like cool and a week goes by and she calls and said she wanted to meet but we need to talk about something before we went out.

I was like," Please tell me you ain't a dude or something!?!?!?!" She laughed it off and told me no. I told her I didn't do secrets and told her I was about to hang up. She told me she would tell me part of the story and ended up telling me she had a twin and she would tell me the rest when I got there. She was sexy in the pics and I was thirsty so I didn't sweat it much.

Just so happens I got my brand new 05 Mustang that day and I hit her up and she told me to call her when I got to her hood and she would be outside waiting. I hit her and got the rest of the directions and pulled up on her like . She was standing outside with her sis and I was like they are gorgeous and they dressed really well. Super fashionable....

They walking to the whip and I was like because one had this automatic limp and had like a chicken wing arm that was stuck by her side but her forearm was kinda up under the tit.

At this point i'm like don't let it be that one. Her normal sis opened the passenger door and the disabled twin got in and me trying to be nice, I look at her and was like," What's good shawty." She looked at me and nodded her head and smiled. Oh, turns out that pic with the pushed in tit was because of her arm.

Her normal sis was like, "She's deaf, I have been talking for her" At this point I couldn't take it and literally said .... The disabled sis started crying and got out the car as best as she could and walked back to the porch.... There was more but that is the gist... I ended up dating the normal sis on the low for a few months until she started feeling bad and cut me off completely out of the blue.

 

[Silkk]

I was 18 and started talking to this chick off of a chatline and she sent me pics and she was REALLY good looking, she even sent some pics of her t*ts and they were big and purty. I noticed in a tit pic she sent me that her arm was pushing one of her t*ts really close to the other but I thought she was attemping to be sexy and paid it no mind. We talked for about 2 months and I noticed she wasn't really in a rush to meet up. One day I was just like fukk it, you ain't trying to meet me so we might as well stop talking. She was like cool and a week goes by and she calls and said she wanted to meet but we need to talk about something before we went out.

I was like," Please tell me you ain't a dude or something!?!?!?!" She laughed it off and told me no. I told her I didn't do secrets and told her I was about to hang up. She told me she would tell me part of the story and ended up telling me she had a twin and she would tell me the rest when I got there. She was sexy in the pics and I was thirsty so I didn't sweat it much.

Just so happens I got my brand new 05 Mustang that day and I hit her up and she told me to call her when I got to her hood and she would be outside waiting. I hit her and got the rest of the directions and pulled up on her like . She was standing outside with her sis and I was like they are gorgeous and they dressed really well. Super fashionable....

They walking to the whip and I was like because one had this automatic limp and had like a chicken wing arm that was stuck by her side but her forearm was kinda up under the tit.

At this point i'm like don't let it be that one. Her normal sis opened the passenger door and the disabled twin got in and me trying to be nice, I look at her and was like," What's good shawty." She looked at me and nodded her head and smiled. Oh, turns out that pic with the pushed in tit was because of her arm.

Her normal sis was like, "She's deaf, I have been talking for her" At this point I couldn't take it and literally said .... The disabled sis started crying and got out the car as best as she could and walked back to the porch.... There was more but that is the gist... I ended up dating the normal sis on the low for a few months until she started feeling bad and cut me off completely out of the blue.

 

[Human Torch]

I was 18 and started talking to this chick off of a chatline and she sent me pics and she was REALLY good looking, she even sent some pics of her t*ts and they were big and purty. I noticed in a tit pic she sent me that her arm was pushing one of her t*ts really close to the other but I thought she was attemping to be sexy and paid it no mind. We talked for about 2 months and I noticed she wasn't really in a rush to meet up. One day I was just like fukk it, you ain't trying to meet me so we might as well stop talking. She was like cool and a week goes by and she calls and said she wanted to meet but we need to talk about something before we went out.

I was like," Please tell me you ain't a dude or something!?!?!?!" She laughed it off and told me no. I told her I didn't do secrets and told her I was about to hang up. She told me she would tell me part of the story and ended up telling me she had a twin and she would tell me the rest when I got there. She was sexy in the pics and I was thirsty so I didn't sweat it much.

Just so happens I got my brand new 05 Mustang that day and I hit her up and she told me to call her when I got to her hood and she would be outside waiting. I hit her and got the rest of the directions and pulled up on her like . She was standing outside with her sis and I was like they are gorgeous and they dressed really well. Super fashionable....

They walking to the whip and I was like because one had this automatic limp and had like a chicken wing arm that was stuck by her side but her forearm was kinda up under the tit.

At this point i'm like don't let it be that one. Her normal sis opened the passenger door and the disabled twin got in and me trying to be nice, I look at her and was like," What's good shawty." She looked at me and nodded her head and smiled. Oh, turns out that pic with the pushed in tit was because of her arm.

Her normal sis was like, "She's deaf, I have been talking for her" At this point I couldn't take it and literally said .... The disabled sis started crying and got out the car as best as she could and walked back to the porch.... There was more but that is the gist... I ended up dating the normal sis on the low for a few months until she started feeling bad and cut me off completely out of the blue.

 

[Uptown WaYo87]

That story sure didn't go anywhere

i was tight i read that shyt....i did NOT to expect to see your comment and all the daps

im glad i aint the only one cause at the end i was like

 

[Uptown WaYo87]

it wasnt me but..

my boy once told me he went to meet a girl off AOL back in the day, and when he got to her building she came out looking like PRECIOUS/BIG K.R.I.T so he pulled off before she was able to say hi to him

i always thought about how fukked up that mustve been for that fat bytch..she was prolly like the entire time

 

[b_low_brown]

it wasnt me but..

my boy once told me he went to meet a girl off AOL back in the day, and when he got to her building she came out looking like PRECIOUS/BIG K.R.I.T so he pulled off before she was able to say hi to him

i always thought about how fukked up that mustve been for that fat bytch..she was prolly like the entire time

nikka was like