Winter is Coming

[Yup]

Yes. I've worked with two single fathers who love and take of their children, while both mothers are alive and well and have little involvement with their kids.

I'm not sure if they were horrible husbands per-se but rather not the ideal husbands for these women.

I do know they are good fathers and are much better parents than the mothers that would leave these kids behind to start new lives.

Women that leave theirs families, specifically children behind deserve no respect imo.

Why women specifically. I'd say people who leave their kids behind get no respect and lets be honest it is men who do it tbe most. Personally....if my husband and i divorce i would give him custody of the children to raise. I would be present for my children but it is much easier for a man to remarry with kids than it is a woman.

 

[Yup]

Stop the deflection tacticts, i never at time in my post used you as example or compared you to anyone.

Im simply asking you, why do you continue to ignore the role women play in these scenarios.

I am not deflecting...i am speaking on a soecific aspect that i didnt feel the other threads addressed. You dont like it...create your own thread just like i have.

 

[Reflected]

I am just creating a scenario. Even a more subtle one would have done the job. But i wanted to illustrate my point
My point is...a relationship between a man and a woman spills over to the child no matter how much parents may try to shield it. Children want to see their parnts together and in love. It affects their psyche and how they perceive their relationships.

It is neglect of the woman but it shouldn't be a problem if the man isn't also neglecting his children. If there is infidelity and the children are aware of it, the father should sit down with his children and explain why what he did was wrong, he can then also explain to his children how the mechanics of a relationship work and fail. Either way, this topic is a little silly, this question can be asked about women too. Obviously not all women and men are the same.

 

[frush11]

I am not deflecting...i am speaking on a soecific aspect that i didnt feel the other threads addressed. You dont like it...create your own thread just like i have.

You cant speak on this subject without taking these women who are in these situation to tasks about thier choices.

Because, then, whats the point, other than just male bashing? If you cant discuss a subject in a complete and honest manner. Then dont discuss it all.

 

[Yup]

It is neglect of the woman but it shouldn't be a problem if the man isn't also neglecting his children. If there is infidelity and the children are aware of it, the father should sit down with his children and explain why what he did was wrong, he can then also explain to his children how the mechanics of a relationship work and fail. Either way, this topic is a little silly, this question can be asked about women too. Obviously not all women and men are the same.

This topic is no more silly than any thread that focuses on the "issues" that one sex experiences at the hand of the other. Than tlr would cease to exist.

Neglect of the parent by the other affects the child. A toxic relationship between parents affects how they raise their children.

 

[Yup]

You cant speak on this subject without taking these women who are in these situation to tasks about thier choices.

Because, then, whats the point, other than just male bashing? If you cant discuss a subject in a complete and honest manner. Then dont discuss it all.

I have every to discuss a subject in anyway i see fit and i dont need your authorization to do so. There are several threads speaking on the male experience. Again...i dont see you there. So clearly you have a bias on who you think shpukd be balance. Make your own thread and sray out of mine if i so offend your sensibilities.

 

[Reflected]

This topic is no more silly than any thread that focuses on the "issues" that one sex experiences at the hand of the other. Than tlr would cease to exist.

Neglect of the parent by the other affects the child. A toxic relationship between parents affects how they raise their children.

Two wrongs don't make a right. It's a matter of opinions at this point. In my opinion, a toxic relationship only affects the children when they are unaware of what is happening and that is why I think it's best to educate your children on the dynamics of a relationship.

 

[Yup]

Two wrongs don't make a right. It's a matter of opinions at this point. In my opinion, a toxic relationship only affects the children when they are unaware of what is happening and that is why I think it's best to educate your children on the dynamics of a relationship.

The bold: it is very disingenuous when stuff like this are only said in female created threads as a way to silence them.

I disagree. Even if you meant well...and you told the child what is happening it doesn't mean that the child is equip to handle it. Lets be honest a msn or woman that doesnt have maturity to carry a relationship would not gave the wherewithal to teach his child anything. Many people act irresponsibly and dont care for their conséquences until they need someone to take care for them in old age.

 

[Amun]

I'd say people who leave their kids behind get no respect

Obviously, but I'm speaking relatively of the women in that post, not comparatively or in general.


And are you saying that you'd give up your children to simply have a better chance of getting remarried?

 

[AllHolosEve]

Man whatever, you can be a good father... I wasnt married but my kids found out who REALLY took care of them & realized I only semi-tolerated & kept her around was because of my love for THEM... I mightve flipped at times but they learned to understand her actions were hurtin our family.. They also know I got them, if I have it, they have it, but their mom gets not a dime.... They also understand why I refused to wife her after over a decade together...

I didnt beat her but when she aint act right she got cut off... My kids understand she dug a hole... You can live together & have a spouse that refuses to act right, married or not... Dont automatically make you a bad Father.... Treat her how she acts...

 

[TEH]

It actually doesnt sorts itself out...because often children who swore they will never be like their fathers often began exhibiting the same patterns of behaviour. Keeping the cycle going...

When I say sorts itself out I'm talking about the fact that a bad husband can not get to be a good father (as good as he needs to be) because of the dissolution of the relationship. This creates a lane for men who are good husbands and good fathers, because children benefit when men are fulfilling both roles. However, the problem is that we humans never respond to needs of others as much as we respond to needs/ wants of our own.

 

[Yup]

Obviously, but I'm speaking relatively of the women in that post, not comparatively or in general.


And are you saying that you'd give up your children to simply have a better chance of getting remarried?

I never said give up. I would be active in my childrens lives and fulfill mt paeentak duties but i am not interested in raising children on my own and have a man send a check monthly. And i would want to pursue anothee relationship and its difficult to do this with kids. Not to mention the guilt i would feel.

 

[Reflected]

The bold: it is very disingenuous when stuff like this are only said in female created threads as a way to silence them.

I disagree. Even if you meant well...and you told the child what is happening it doesn't mean that the child is equip to handle it.

I agree but what kind of responses do you expect to see on a male dominated board? A male creating this same thread about women on a female dominated board would receive similar responses. In response to your last statement, I think it depends on the age of the child. If it hurts the relationship between the father and his child, so be it. Nothing in this world is perfect, relationships between men and women sure as hell aren't.

 

[Yup]

Man whatever, you can be a good father... I wasnt married but my kids found out who REALLY took care of them & realized I only semi-tolerated & kept her around was because of my love for THEM... I mightve flipped at times but they learned to understand her actions were hurtin our family.. They also know I got them, if I have it, they have it, but their mom gets not a dime.... They also understand why I refused to wife her after over a decade together...

I didnt beat her but when she aint act right she got cut off... My kids understand she dug a hole... You can live together & have a spouse that refuses to act right, married or not... Dont automatically make you a bad Father.... Treat her how she acts...

Sounds like a string of excuses. You are not your kids and dont understand how your dynamic with their mother affected them or how they perceive their relationships. You didnt wife but you had a string of kids with her. I dont know how thats a win considering these kids mean she will always be a part of your life. While a marriage without kids would mean you could have moved on without the attachments. Anyone can justify anything...at thenend of the day the true test is how your kids will navigate life.

 

[Yup]

I agree but what kind of responses do you expect to see on a male dominated board? A male creating this same thread about women on a female dominated board would receive similar responses. In response to your last statement, I think it depends on the age of the child. If it hurts the relationship between the father and his child, so be it. Nothing in this world is perfect, relationships between men and women sure as hell aren't.

So you agree that male created threads are a dime a dozen but want to give me a lesson?

Of course relationships arent perfect. One more reason to have children see their parents work through it. But sone things cannot be worked through...