After reading the article I didn’t necessarily interpret it the way some of you have. He’s advocating for bw to practice assortative mating, like other groups of women do. He mentions that too often bw would marry “down” just to marry a bm rather than marry out and that it’s of no real benefit when she does this, as marriage is meant to be a means to build wealth, legacy, etc, and these mismatched marriages do the opposite, hence the divorce rate (at least his framing).
So, he’s telling bw that if they have to choose between marrying a bm with less just to keep it black, versus marrying a man with the same as you or more, but he’s white, she should go for the wm.
My thoughts are that his take is a bit simplistic and ignores some obvious issues with IR marriages, including those between bw and wm. But I do believe that if one is to get married at all it should always be with someone your equally yoked with, it makes things much easier when you are.
I’m not sure what the right solution is when it comes to this topic because I’m not really on board with the “just marry white” advice that I see parroted to bw who want to marry. but I also can’t deny that the marriage rate is very low in our community:
What I do think is happening behind the scenes is that many bw have adopted a solution many don’t understand: opt out of the dating market and not marry anyone at all, finding satisfaction and peace in friendships, family and their careers, getting occasional dikk on the side lol.
Research has shown that bw as a collective are not as eager to marry as people assume they are, and many are content being single if they cannot marry the men they want. And many do not want to marry wm or bm who don’t meet their criteria (whatever that is).
I don’t care much for the loyalty and desirability arguments I’m seeing Brehs use in this thread though. For one, even as Brehs in this thread alledge that bw are disloyal and already sleep with wm in high numbers or would go for more wm if they thought they had a chance with wm, the same argument can be applied to Brehs too. If we’re keeping it real, but a lot don’t want to. Brehs are not anymore loyal to bw. They sleep, lust over and marry ww. They marry ww at twice the rate of bw marrying wm and lust over pawgs just as much as they say bw covet wm. I mean we got pawgset Brehs in this thread and y’all trying to talk about how bw secretly love white men and could if they would—while y’all have no issue being loyal to ya dikks and going for whoever you want without gaf how bw feel about it. So t’all are throwing stones from glasshouses in this thread. And let’s not forget that those studies show that bw rate bm high, but the same can’t be said about brehs—y’all rate others at the same rating as us or higher. So Foh with this talk of loyalty when many of you aren’t loyal yourselves.
As far as desirability goes, dating studies have also indicated that
every women but bw rate bm low, but that doesn’t stop bm from marrying, dating and sexing ww. So I’m sure if a bw really wanted to be with a wm, those surveys and studies would not stop her from it, the same way it ain’t stopping y’all from proposing.
finally, a bm wrote this article, not a bw, yet within pages Brehs started focusing on bw and blaming bw for what this man wrote. If some of you think that bw are undesirable to nonbm, that bw are disloyal, picky, etc etc, then him advocating for bw to marry out shouldn’t matter to y’all since as y’all have said wm won’t choose brehettes anyway.
about it happening with someone non-black. I want what my parents have in terms of black love, but it feels out of reach honestly. Dating younger isn't even appealing because stripper culture is so pervasive in that sub-25 demographic.
