Why do y'all talk bad about single moms but.....

[PartyHeart]

People provide uses to humanity beyond reproduction. You knew this, right? And when did anyone say that we can't expect men to take their part? I sure didn't. I just said that the lion's share of responsibility was on the woman because she has a much more "hands on" approach to being able to handle the issue of a child being taken to term. She can determine whether or not she takes the pill, uses a diaphragm, spermicidal sponge, etc. She can refuse sex to a man who refuses to wear a condom. That's his problem if he doesn't want to wear one, not hers. She also can take the morning after pill, or gawd forbid, get an abortion if she has to. A man is always being told, "After your nut goes off you have no rights!!" So since he has no rights, he has much less responsibility.

Useless in their interactions with women. Y'all can still build shyt though.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

You're not even arguing anymore. You're just desperately trying to save face and it shows.

...and why are you still trying to argue? Everything that can be said has already been said. Young, the conversation isn't even about us. The real question is "why are you so in your feelings about it?" Imma need you get a life if you think everyone gets mad at fonts. I've been cursed to high heaven on this board by a few people at a time. Sir you are gonna have to come a lot hard if you want in these feelings.

And with that said, I will end the convo to give you and your feelings a rest. Peace to you.

 

[mcdivit85]

Yes yes yes. I think they both should do that but in that case it would make it equal and we both know ya'll are not having that.

And do you believe that a woman should also use birth control on top of enforcing condom use to further prevent against an unplanned pregnancy?

Peace

 

[Gravity]

You came in mid argument with another poster who has said it in an attempt to cosign him but don't want to be associated with his viewpoint. lol. ok.

I don't give a damn about an argument that you were having with someone else. I quoted something that you specifically said and refuted it. You don't even have the courage to stand behind positions that you've taken.

I didn't equate a thing. I haven't even really espoused my opinion on the matter, I have simply highlighted the horrendous logic and hypocrisy of the coli males in the thread. I simply said if this is true then logically so is this. That being, if men can't be expected to control their urges and exercise good judgement as much as women because they have less responsibility as you yourself have just stated, then men certainly can't claim to have a reserved right to be in control or leader of women.

You're that poster called "southerbelle" or some shyt right? "She" is on this same weak shyt.

Logic plays no part in what you're saying. You're responding purely out of resentment and bitterness for black men. Thats why you have at least 15 posts in the last 2 pages without really directly taking a position and defending it. You stay playing these weak ass games on here. You may not have come out and directly stated your opinion, but it's palpable. You clearly think that black men are just as responsible for the single mother problem in the our community as black women are. You're just too p*ssy(pun intended) to admit it. Get some courage, this is just a discussion on the Internet. fukk you scared of?

Trying to equate the argument that women bear more responsibility for getting pregnant than the men who impregnate them with the argument that men are powerless or the argument that men can't control their urges and can't be expected to make better decisions is illogical. That leap makes no sense, but you make it because you don't have the smarts to do any better. You're not smart enough to intelligently refute my position so you're relegated to posting passive aggressively bytchy responses like this.

No one with any sense of logic can debate that, which is why you don't want to.

I'm capable of debating just about anything. The reason I'm not going to entertain that bullshyt about black men not being leaders is because it's a smoke screen you've created to try and cloud the issue. It's you who can't debate the topic at hand which is you have at least 15 posts without directly posting your opinion and defending it. Again, you're a coward I would have no problems running mental rings around you regardless of the topic, but it has to be one topic at a time.

Stop being so emotional.

Ok, when you stop being so bitter, bytchmade, and stupid ill stop being "emotional". Bet?

They are interrelated. If women must accept that men are just naturally going to sleep around with anything that moves and no one should attempt to hold them accountable for that, or as accountable as women, men are not equipped to lead. If that is your nature, you ain't no damn leader. And if its not your nature, men should be talking to men just as much as they attempt to talk to women. <<<<That is the point and that is not any damn smoke screen, that is the topic of discussion.

This is a straw man argument that I haven't made. I haven't said that men can't help sleeping around and that nobody should hold men who do accountable. That's an argument that you've created to justify your "....so therefore black men can't be leaders" bullshyt. I'll repeat my position once more for clarity. Women bear more responsibility for getting pregnant than the men who impregnate them. Yes that's a double standard but it's a valid double standard that was created by nature. You can't intelligently argue against that position so you keep trying to deflect.

The problem lies in men wanting to have it both ways when it fits them. Where they can set themselves up as these uncontrollable sexual beasts with no accountability beyond figuring out how to get laid (because they have less consequence to getting laid of course) but then feigning superior capability over women when it suits them. And YOU KNOW that you men are attempting to have it both ways which is why you are getting upset that I'm calling it out and trying to silence me smh lol

No, your problem is that you're an bitter coward who also happens to not be too intelligent. No reasonable man takes the position that you keep harping on. Any reasonable man will have no problem admitting that black men need to do a better job of controlling their urges, making better decisions, and take more responsibility for those decisions. Even still, none of that discounts the fact that a woman is more responsible for what happens to her and her body than anyone else is. You're projecting your bullshyt on men. You and women like you want it both ways which is why you have a problem with one certain aspect of this double standard and not the other. You and women like you don't see anything wrong with having more rights than men regarding children nor do you have a problem with a man not having any say on how you deal with the pregnancy. Yet, you all refuse to take accountability for that responsibility. If it's your body and nobody else has any day over what you do or don't do, then own up to that responsibility. A man can never be just as responsible for a woman getting pregnant as she does unless he has just as much say over what she does with her body as she is. That's common sense.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Useless in their interactions with women. Y'all can still build shyt though.

Jesus, by that logic women

...and why are you still trying to argue? Everything that can be said has already been said. Young, the conversation isn't even about us. The real question is "why are you so in your feelings about it?" Imma need you get a life if you think everyone gets mad at fonts. I've been cursed to high heaven on this board by a few people at a time. Sir you are gonna have to come a lot hard if you want in these feelings.

And with that said, I will end the convo to give you and your feelings a rest. Peace to you.

You set up straw men, couldn't address the question, and then changed what the issue was. Okay, go head and peace out.

 

[HollowPoints2]

What's backwards about abortion but not contraception? And yeah, abortions are hard, but do you know what's harder? A society full of people that have to grow up in broken homes and with broken families because women were forced to carry children to term at inopportune times in their lives. Nah, not about that and no system is 100% perfect. Abortion needs to be there as a safety net.

Abortion as a safety net?

What's so hard about raising the standards in the black community.

You want to maintain the status quo without any structure discipline or, accountability. Since when was it cool to use abortion as a form of birth control? Maybe you're too lazy to think of better solutions and ways to improve parenting in the black community, thus you except abortion as a tool to fix the problem.

So are you saying black people have no control over changing their behavior patterns? Instead of accepting things for what they are, you should strive for the best. That means raise the standards for what's acceptable behavior and what's not.

Stop being lazy and come up with concrete solutions to the problem,but that may require critical thinking that you seem to lack.

 

[philmonroe]

I have to respectfully disagree on some points here.

First, dudes do get burned by women who aint sh#t based on them having low self-esteem, poor upbringing, etc. But does that take away from the responsibility they would have if a child were born? No. Does that take away from the fact that they chose to have a child by a punk a## b#tch? No.

So, dudes would understand why. But dudes would still let him know why and how he messed up. They would clown the chick, but they would still clown the dude for picking her as well. Too many women just clown the deadbeat without clowning the woman for letting the deadbeat run up in her.

Second, no dude of sound mind is going to clown a woman who has high expectations for who she dates because that means she values her body, mind and time. BUT there is a difference between having high standards and having unrealistic standards.

What dudes have a problem with is woman who are nickels expecting to have dimes bow down and cater to her.

Sensible woman with high standards:

- only dates men with a stable source of income, their own place, their own car, no kids
- only has sex once in a committed, monogamous relationship with the man she's dating
- expects a man to treat her with kindness, courtesy and respect...and she does the same for him
- won't date a man who's already dating others
- she has all the above and expects no more from the man than she expects of herself...she treats the man like she wants to be treated...so her standards guide her behavior just as much as his

Unrealistic woman with high standards:

- only dates men who make 100k or better, owns a 3BR house or more, their own European car, no kids...and he must be in impeccable shape
- only has sex once the dude takes her on enough expensive dates and/or gives her enough gifts
- expects a man to treat her like a lady but believes she's "strong and independent", so he needs to "be a man" and accept her mood swings
- dates other men but expects the dude to be all about her and cater his schedule to her. Oh, and treat her like she's Virgin Mary
- she has NONE of the above and expects way more than she can give even if sponsored by Visa, Nike and Google

Peace

We might not agree with the Bentley but this 1000% agree with props and saved me some keystrokes. Props

 

[PartyHeart]

I don't give a damn about an argument that you were having with someone else. I quoted something that you specifically said and refuted it. You don't even have the courage to stand behind positions that you've taken.

You're that poster called "southerbelle" or some shyt right? "She" is on this same weak shut.

Nope. She's a good poster though from what I remember.

Logic plays no part in what you're saying. You're responding purely out of resentment and bitterness for black men. Thats why you have at least 15 posts in the last 2 pages without really directly taking a position and defending it. You stay playing these weak ass games on here. You may not have come out and directly stated your opinion, but it's palpable. You clearly think that black men are just as responsible for the single mother problem in the our community as black women are.

You are correct. I absolutely do believe Black mea and women are equally responsible for creating children in undesirable circumstances. However if you want to know my true opinion I would take it further and say that after the baby is born Black men are overwhelming at fault because even as equally as stupid as two people are to create a child that they are not ready for, there is only one group of them who are running away from responsibility after the mistake has been made.

You're just too p*ssy(pun intended) to admit it. Get some courage, this is just a discussion on the Internet. fukk you scared of?

So emotional

Trying to equate the argument that women bear more responsibility for getting pregnant than the men who impregnate them with the argument that men are powerless or the argument that men can't control their urges and can't be expected to make better decisions is illogical. That leap makes no sense, but you make it because you don't have the smarts to do any better. You're not smart enough to intelligently refute my position so you're relegated to posting passive aggressively bytchy responses like this.

Explain how the 'leap' makes no sense. The thought is that men both should not be expected to be as sexually responsible as women because that is their nature and that they should not because they do not get pregnant. So explain to me how its a 'leap' to say a group with such little natural responsibility as you keep claiming should be handed the reigns over those who do? Why should what is essentially a child be trusted to ever do right, especially with others wellbeing at stake?

Can't have it both ways dear.

I'm capable of debating just about anything. The reason I'm not going to entertain that bullshyt about black men not being leaders is because it's a smoke screen you've created to try and cloud the issue. It's you who can't debate the topic at hand which is you have at least 15 posts without directly posting your opinion and defending it. Again, you're a coward I would have no problems running mental rings around you regardless of the topic, but it has to be one topic at a time.

Ok, when you stop being so bitter, bytchmade, and stupid ill stop being "emotional". Bet?

All these emotional, personal attacks...for why?

I have thoroughly uprooted the illogical nature of the points in this thread. You claim my points are the illogical ones but have said nothing to show how. Oh that's right, your disproving = you just angrily telling me whatever I say is irrelevant to this thread

This is a straw man argument that I haven't made. I haven't said that men can't help sleeping around and that nobody should hold men who do accountable. That's an argument that you've created to justify your "....so therefore black men can't be leaders" bullshyt. I'll repeat my position once more for clarity. Women bear more responsibility for getting pregnant than the men who impregnate them. Yes that's a double standard but it's a valid double standard that was created by nature. You can't intelligently argue against that position so you keep trying to deflect.

Since you are desperately seeking to know my viewpoint, let me just stop you here and tell you that what you assume to be an indisputable fact is certainly not. I do not believe women bear more responsibility for getting pregnant than men who impregnate them, because I am not stupid enough to believe the only factor to having children is the physical labor of 9 months of pregnancy and giving birth. The man, if he wants to see his child flourish, much like if the mother does, must work to ensure it attains the right sustenance. Also that the mother carrying the child is not overly stressed or worked to harm the baby. So in pregnancy men are responsible for providing the physical, emotional, financial, and general moral support and to be the helpmate to the woman.

So no, women are not 'more responsible' than men who impregnate them because I do not believe men are off the hook just because the baby isn't in their belly like you do. Maybe that would make sense if pregnancy weren't a fragile process or if babies were fully functional and could fend for themselves after coming out of the womb, but they can't. They need to be raised and it has been proven time and time again that the two parents are the ideal situation for this growth.

But since I knew saying all this would be absolutely pointless to convince any coli males who are overwhelming selfish, insecure, and short sighted that there is any validity in what most other communities actually believe (which is why other communities of men realize there is actually real weight on them too if they get a girl pregnant), I didn't even bother. I did however, bother with destroying the horrendous logic being espoused by coli males in here. Why? Its a slow news day

No, your problem is that you're an bitter coward who also happens to not be too intelligent. No reasonable man takes the position that you keep harping on. Any reasonable man will have no problem admitting that black men need to do a better job of controlling their urges, making better decisions, and take more responsibility for those decisions. Even still, none of that discounts the fact that a woman is more responsible for what happens to her and her body than anyone else is. You're projecting your bullshyt on men. You and women like you want it both ways which is why you have a problem with one certain aspect of this double standard and not the other.

Another huge paragraph of insults? This is seriously like the majority of your post. Either debate or I don't care about how you feel about me.

You and women like you don't see anything wrong with having more rights than men regarding children nor do you have a problem with a man not having any say on how you deal with the pregnancy. Yet, you all refuse to take accountability for that responsibility.

All lies.

If it's your body and nobody else has any day over what you do or don't do, then own up to that responsibility.

If we are talking about prevention, your body and sperm are required to conceive the child just as much as her body and egg. It is you who keeps trying to force more responsibility onto women prior to conception because of what happens after it.

A man can never be just as responsible for a woman getting pregnant as she does unless he has just as much say over what she does with her body as she is. That's common sense.

But we are talking about prevention so your point is nonsensical. You keep mixing up situations. First you are talking about what happens after conception occurs and the act of pregnancy itself making women more responsible, now you are telling me that a man is not as responsible as a woman in even getting a woman pregnant? How does that make sense when they both have to consent to sex for her to get pregnant in the first place? But you're telling me that your logic is sound?

 

[PartyHeart]

To sum up, you can't say "Hey I don't get pregnant so I'm not really responsible and shouldn't be involved in ensuring you don't get pregnant " and then when you actually plan for and want a family try to insert yourself as the most important party who 'leads' everything. You're either involved in the process and a responsible party at all times or you're not.

All I have to say. Just as I finish my work too.

 

[mamba]

I reserve my disgust for the baby mamas who think out of wedlock kids are ok and continue to contribute to the destruction of the black family by having multiple children by multiple men. If you have one kid because you were young and dumb, but that was it and you wised up, then you won't hear much from me. But you disgusting tramps who have like 2, 3, 4, + baby fathers DISGUST ME and I am a female, with no kids. You tramps act like any form of birth control is a foreign concept.

What also disgusts me is the unwarranted sense of entitlement. Many of you baby mamas think because you birthed some dude's baby, the world should stop for you and bow at your feet. bytch please. You think you deserve a good man after you have fkced the whole town and then reinvent yourselves as if that is somehow going to erase your hoe past. You get a little bit older and now you want stability so you start seeking out the simps with no kids so he can take care of your b*stard kids. That is what disgusts me about some of you. And then you have the NERVE to tell us single women with no kids to date your raggedy ass baby daddies if we want to have a man and tell us bullshyt that a baby mama is better than a woman with no kids. And some of you dumb ass men believe that bullshyt.

Oh and these trifling ass men need to stop raw dogging every chick they see with a fat ass and then complain when she gets pregnant. WTF did you think was going to happen when you nutted up in her you dumb ass mofo? A lot of these dumb ass males with kids teeter on mild retardation. That's the only explanation I can give as to why there are so many fatherless households. Nothing and no one should keep your from caring for your child, whether you wanted that child or not. You simple ass muthafuggas want all the pleasures sex brings, but want NONE of the responsibility that comes with engaging in the act. Just like a damn child. A little boy. And then when your asses get old, you also start talking about you want a good woman. Mofo, you don't deserve a good woman because you were bypassing the good woman for Fertile Myrtle and thinking with your dcks.

And before anyone comes in here with that "A baby mama must have taken your man, etc." No one took my man. I'm just able to see the BS for what it is.

 

[RiffRaff]

All I'm gonna say is, if women on a national scale were more selective in who they chose to procreate with you would see a shift that featured less absentee fathers. Even some of the would be deadbeats/aint shyt dudes would change their ways and approaches if they saw women universally weren't fukking with them anymore given their current behavior.

Now on the opposite side of the spectrum women have to realize the deadbeat is a piece of shyt, he won't magically change if he can still get what he wants. A deadbeat being more selective in the women he sleeps with is still a deadbeat. This doesn't excuse his actions, it's just an inconvenient truth.

I don't look at this like a blame game, but I do look at it as something women are responsible for the change they want to see in regards to single mothers. The sooner women adjust the better everyone else will be. I know some of the females on the board don't want to hear that but it leads to the best overall outcome.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Abortion as a safety net?

What's so hard about raising the standards in the black community.

You want to maintain the status quo without any structure discipline or, accountability. Since when was it cool to use abortion as a form of birth control? Maybe you're too lazy to think of better solutions and ways to improve parenting in the black community, thus you except abortion as a tool to fix the problem.

So are you saying black people have no control over changing their behavior patterns? Instead of accepting things for what they are, you should strive for the best. That means raise the standards for what's acceptable behavior and what's not.

Stop being lazy and come up with concrete solutions to the problem,but that may require critical thinking that you seem to lack.

Yes, abortion as a safety net.

This isn't about lowering standards for the black community or any community, it's about being realistic about the fact that not everyone is going to be able to use birth control 100% effectively.

No, I'm not saying that black people, or any people have no control over their behavioral patterns. To insinuate that I am is very disingenuous and asinine. Making abortion unavailable wouldn't do anything to raise standards and would only increase the amount of illegal abortions.

Stop being stupid and come up with a real counterpoint.

 

[FTBS]

I am fukking at that quote.


No. That's according to you. You said men have no problem with the situation (a lie but lets pretend) since they keep doing it because they're not the ones who are carrying the child. I told you that despite women having to carry the child they are still doing it so following the same logic you just used for men, they are cool with the situation and have thoroughly accepted your proposition that all men (or the majority, now that you have changed to that) aren't shyt and you can't expect anything from them either way.

And I can tell the difference, I have a good man. He would laugh at the bullshyt y'all are saying in here.

Good for you. Maybe you should put some of your sisters up on game.

I've never heard a man complain about how he's struggling while NOT taking care of a child. That's a false equivalence. You can't just make up stuff that has no basis in reality for the sake of argument. There are more natural consequences for women not being cautious when it comes to sex. There is no way around that. I haven't changed anything, it's not my fault that you were so focused on polemics that you failed to recognize and understand a generalization when you saw it. Women should be more careful in terms of who they allow to enter their bodies (especially raw), period. There is no (logical, based in reality) argument against that.

 

[FTBS]

They arent the majority getting these women pregnant then buncing.

Could you rephrase that? Not sure what you are getting at here.

 

[FTBS]

To sum up, you can't say "Hey I don't get pregnant so I'm not really responsible and shouldn't be involved in ensuring you don't get pregnant " and then when you actually plan for and want a family try to insert yourself as the most important party who 'leads' everything. You're either involved in the process and a responsible party at all times or you're not.

All I have to say. Just as I finish my work too.

The guys doing number 1 aren't looking to do number 2. You can't compare the two. That doesn't even make sense.

BTW the kids should be the most important party and yeah the man (if he's about that man life) should be leading the way. If he's not about that man life you as a female shouldn't even be messing with him.