Why do so many men not take care of their kids?

[Chris.B]

LOL! Exactly! These chicks are the same ones who'll go to the zoo, stick their hands in the tiger's cage, and then look confused when he bites that shyt off.

I'm a church pianist/keyboardist so I know all too well about these ratchet ass women and the kind of men they prefer.

They usually find God (not that it's a bad thing) when they are 30 plus with a whole bunch of kids and stretch marks.
Also when they come up to sing they usually sing off key.

They love them some thugged out nikkas.

 

[Davin Black]

Guys the topic is why men don't want to take care of their kids it's not about picking a shytty person to have a baby with it's why a grown man does not love his own child, why he doesn't take care of them.


Y'all keep rehashing the same thing. Oh she shouldn't have picked him. DUHHH! But that's not my topic.

Answer A: men without means that are too selfish and have no sense of obligation
Answer B: men with means that are too selfish and have no sense of obligation

Conclusion: selfishness and no sense of obligation.

EDIT: My issue with the topic is this - these traits are well known, and hardly new. So my question is: what new insight do you expect to gain from the Coli of all places? That's not sarcasm or meant to be dismissive; the overwhelming majority of members here are men who will simply tell you to stop chasing worthless men, so...what are you looking for?

 

[marcuz]

sk a bunch a men who don't have kids; why don't some men take care of their children. Why don't you ask the men that are not taking care of their kids that questions?

BW like to ask bullshyt loaded questions like this. like a black girl you're dating, asking you why black men love white women so much.

then you have nikkas like these:

Low key... you're getting your answer in these replies.

nikkas hate to take responsibility for their own actions. Buncha absentee fathers and they blame the women. It pisses me off because the stigma stains the entire demographic of black men and I can't even defend it. I can't even say it's not true because far too often it is. It's embarrassing, despicable, and pitiful.

The only solace I have is knowing these aren't black men. Men are accountable. These guys are just big ass boys who need to grow up. Which raises the next question: Where are all the black men?

Great post. This thread is making me shake my head and look We as men are supposed to be lead our women. Miss me with the bu bu but bullshyt. Step up and be a leader, be a MAN and be in your fukking kids lives.

pretending like dudes on online forums are the deadbeat dads. shyt is funny but sad.

 

[mamba]

I'm a church pianist/keyboardist so I know all too well about these ratchet ass women and the kind of men they prefer.

They usually find God (not that it's a bad thing) when they are 30 plus with a whole bunch of kids and stretch marks.
Also when they come up to sing they usually sing off key.

They love them some thugged out nikkas.

Black women with baggage love the church. You can usually tell how much baggage a Black woman is carrying just buy peeping her church attendance. If she's a lifelong member of a church or some shyt, that doesn't count. She's probably OK.

But, if you find a bytch who "suddenly" starts getting churchy or bounces around from church to church, chances are she's a whore.

I bet your pastor gives those ratchets many private prayer sessions in the comfort of their homes.

My biggest mistake in life was not becoming a preacher. shyt is too easy, breh.

 

[KinksandCoils]

Answer A: men without means that are too selfish and have no sense of obligation
Answer B: men with means that are too selfish and have no sense of obligation

Conclusion: selfishness and no sense of obligation.

EDIT: My issue with the topic is this - these traits are well known, and hardly new. So my question is: what new insight do you expect to gain from the Coli of all places? That's not sarcasm or meant to be dismissive; the overwhelming majority of members here are men who will simply tell you to stop chasing worthless men, so...what are you looking for?

I asked a question I want an answer. A lot of things in threads are already known. U could ask that question in every thread.

 

[Born2BKing]

BW like to ask bullshyt loaded questions like this. like a black girl you're dating, asking you why black men love white women so much.

then you have nikkas like these:




pretending like dudes on online forums are the deadbeat dads. shyt is funny but sad.

I'm not saying any of these dudes are deadbeat dads. All I'm saying is I'm hearing too many excuses, when it's as simple as if you have kids take care of them. Same goes to women. fukk how the pregnancy happened. If you have kids, take care of them. I have a female cousin who sent her son off to live with her mother. Same goes to her, she a deadbeat and a fukking idiot. Just like the nikka who got her pregnant and dipped out.

 

[Scott Larock]

Women usually are the ones who want out of a relationship.

Black men still face financial difficulties and a harder path entering corporate America.

Stress and lack
of money usually causes break up.

.0 This thread

Women get welfare and other assistance.

 

[marcuz]

I'm not saying any of these dudes are deadbeat dads. All I'm saying is I'm hearing too many excuses, when it's as simple as if you have kids take care of them. Same goes to women. fukk how the pregnancy happened. If you have kids, take care of them.

if it were really simple, it wouldn't be so problematic and hard to fix. you wagging your finger and saying "no excuses, take care of your kids" wont make these dudes become great parents.

when it comes to actual solutions over empty rhetoric, you have nothing.

 

[Born2BKing]

if it were really simple, it wouldn't be so problematic and hard to fix. you wagging your finger and saying "no excuses, take care of your kids" wont make these dudes become great parents.

when it comes to actual solutions over empty rhetoric, you have nothing.

That's why this thread was made though breh. I don't have answers and don't know if anyone here does. But I was looking forward to learning something in hear besides prevention of the pregnancies all together.

 

[marcuz]

That's why this thread was made though breh. I don't have answers and don't know if anyone here does. But I was looking forward to learning something in hear besides prevention of the pregnancies all together.

no, as @Teedot already noted. this thread was meant for everyone to all sing the same exact chorus. several of us have given out viable solutions to this problem and you can only respond with "b-but i thought men were the leaders"

as if leadership skills are an inherent masculine trait, and boys raised by women would even posses those characteristics.

 

[Born2BKing]

no, as @Teedot already noted. this thread was meant for everyone to all sing the same exact chorus. several of us have given out viable solutions to this problem and you can only respond with "b-but i thought men were the leaders"

as if leadership skills are an inherent masculine trait, and boys raised by women would even posses those characteristics.

I haven't seen any post pregnancy solutions from you. I'm talm more so about the children out there begging for attention from their absentee mother or father and not getting it. Can you point me to that point you made?

 

[Kenny West]

Men choose not to raise their kids because they don't wish to compromise their lifestyle. It may be because he don't wanna play house, maybe he doesn't want to be forcefully committed to his BM, maybe he just don't want shyt to change on his end.

I don't know how some of y'all nikkas do it. I don't even mean the deadbeats, I mean the ones who actually get to see their kids every now and then, pay the child support and spend some significant time with them. Still.....you got your kid out there with the mother most of the time.....you only see them like once a week or month on average....you missing all kinds of moments in their lives, all kinds of opportunities to teach them about life and the world yourself, and keeping other idiots from filling their heads with garbage......you don't know for sure if the mother's new man is a creep who might mess with your kid on the low, sexually or otherwise......

If I had a kid, that shyt would bother me. It's probably the only reason I MIGHT still get married someday......because unfortunately for men, marrying the chick seems to be the only guaranteed way to be able to live with the kids without any long-ass 'break periods' where the mother has them, since the courts otherwise automatically give the woman the kids unless she's a proven TERRIBLE mother ......in which case, even if you get custody, you still fukked up because you the one who seeded up that bytch and caused her to become your kids' mother.....

I know this thread is technically about the deadbeats who rarely take care of the kids/don't take care of them at all, but I just had to mention that because I don't understand how nikkas can even GET to that point. You got some clowns out there who LOVE playing Mr. Loverman and fukkin' a buncha chicks, and the hoes love him for it....but the numbers game eventually catch up with dude, and he learns that he got one of them pregnant through his escapades..... and decides "ain't nobody got time for that....she can handle that shyt ". Suddenly, that same chick ends up realizing the hard way that a real man is one that takes care of his kids once he makes them.....too bad she realized it AFTER she chose to let him hit

Both men and women know the risks of sex....even with condoms/other forms of protection, shyt happens. Any time you fukk anyone, you risk having a kid with them, even if it is highly unlikely based on whatever form of protection you're using. Men have to realize "hey, if I smash this chick and she somehow ends up having a baby for me.....I gotta take care of that and help raise it, even if me and the moms ain't compatible outside of bed" (this is exactly why I've NEVER fukked a chick without getting to know them for a while first and/or being in some sort of legit relationship with them....my body count is lower than most because of this, but I'm proud of it. At least I know I won't end up like one of them nikkas who got unattractive/annoying baby mamas, who they only fukked back in the day because the ass was fat, and they gave no fukks about what type of person/potential mother she was, and if they would still be cool if the relationship ended)

Women also have to think "OK, he look fine as hell, I bet he could dikk me down right .....but if I had his kid, would he take care of his, no matter what our relationship is in the future? ".....and that's where getting to KNOW him first before smashing, comes into play. Could he act like some good guy ready to play daddy, then heel-turn on you in the future after y'all have a kid? It's possible.....but not likely. Most of the nikkas who are deadbeats, you can tell from early on that's the kind of dude they're gonna be, based on their reputation and how they live their lives.....

Too many chicks are only fukkin' nikkas (and even intentionally gettin' pregnant by nikkas) because they're tall, good-looking or an exciting thug......then when reality sets in and they realize that kid they're having for him actually needs a daddy, THAT'S when they decide to consider looking for a man who's willing to fill that daddy role. Sure, the deadbeat is an ass for not taking care of his.....that shyt ain't even up for argument. But the women have to take some blame in that situation, too......

Good post. The problem is today contraceptives gives a sort of cognitive dissonance between sex and child birth. Sex is looked at as an activity separate from child rearing so people open themselves up for having a kid with the wrong person. Basically people (women especially) spend their most sexually active years chasing folks they know aint good for them because of a value shift from child rearing mate selection to sexual desirability mate selection.

But really this is a female's problem. Yes mate selection matters for dudes too but only if he's invested in the upbringing of the kid or interested in relationship. If the father of your kid isn't interested in either than your SOL, nothing a third party can say will make him change his mind. If women wish to avoid this the could just weed out men with these mindsets out their dating pool.

Instead you got chicks out here spending the majority of their sexually active years playing russian roulette with her womb. If you are the one who has to carry the kid in a 9 month potentially fatal pregnancy and are usually tasked with raising the kid, then yes you should be the proactive one in regards to securing commitment. Those are the breaks

 

[GZR]

Not to derail the thread but I have a question for you: What do you make of the women who seek sperm donors or just wanna have a baby with men that have no interest of being with them?

I have had 2 women ask me to father their children. These are women that were in their early to mid 30s on the "clock ticking" mode. Their approach was "I just want a child, you dont have to be involved". Now, im no pretty boy super model or self-proclaimed "Alpha-male" type. So if i could have females making these proposals to me how do i know that there arent as many other mofos getitng the same from clock ticking females?

Edit: And this is NOT counting the "if i'm not married or have a child by the time i'm 36 i want you to be my sperm donor" I have about 3 more of those

I know you're a black male, but I see this kind of thing once in a while with black women desiring a biracial baby. While the following woman says she's not fussed with race she's only posted pictures of biracial and white babies:
http://london.craigslist.co.uk/w4m/4625086210.html

There are lots of single black mothers walking around my part of town with biracial babies, but no-ones rushing to call white men deadbeats

The fact is a proportion of women choose to go it alone and get pregnant intentionally in suboptimal circumstances. #NoSympathy

 

[marcuz]

I haven't seen any post pregnancy solutions from you. I'm talm more so about the children out there begging for attention from their absentee mother or father and not getting it. Can you point me to that point you made?

to me, its too fukkin late post pregnancy. i'm not saying these dudes cant change, but the odds are stacked against them. it's a personal decision they have to make on their own. you cant "slut shame" deadbeats into being good parents, especially if they're still getting rewarded.

but hey, screw preventative measures, right? those are stupid and black woman bashing.

 

[marcuz]

I know you're a black male, but I see this kind of thing once in a while with black women desiring a biracial baby. While the following woman says she's not fussed with race she's only posted pictures of biracial and white babies:
http://london.craigslist.co.uk/w4m/4625086210.html

There are lots of single black mothers walking around my part of town with biracial babies, but no-ones rushing to call white men deadbeats

The fact is a proportion of women choose to go it alone and get pregnant intentionally in suboptimal circumstances. #NoSympathy

baby first, relationship second. they do it backwards and wonder why the results are all fukked up.