Why do a lot of married men seem so miserable?

[maxamusa]

I can recognize the look now, they say women have the resting bytch face........father's have that keeping the family safe and thriving face..........it's not even so much as misery in most cases, it's the lack of down time posters ha e pointed out and maybe even a lack of a person to truly bend an ear with. Don't get me wrong, there truly are miserable people and it mostly be them fake smiling happy wife happy life bytches, but most times what I see is a dad deep in his thighs and feelings just keeping life moving

 

[Richard Glidewell]

Fixed

 

[Kasgoinjail]

I'm never getting married

 

[Gloxina]

Currently going through this. Got a 2 year old with my chick. She keeps begging to get married but I’m just not feeling it. Sex definitely blinded me. Mentally detached at this point and contemplating leaving…

Leave, you can always make more kids.

And this is why women need to be careful. Fall in love, turn into a babymomma and then when it gets hard your man says he can just go make other kids with another woman.

It’s funny how if a woman walks away from a marriage because things are hard, she gets blamed because women are the ones who always initiate the end and leave, etc, but if a man wants to walk away from a babymomma because it’s hard, everyone understands.




I’m not coming for you, breh, but this is the exact stuff I was talking about in them other threads.

If she was good enough to birth your first child, your family is worth saving.

Breh you got a toddler. Thats a tuff time for a relationship. It will pass.
Hang in there P. Your fam needs you; and you gotta be strong.


The grass is not greener. Unless wifey did some unforgivable shyt; work it out.

Finally, the voice of reason.

 

[BaggerofTea]

cool ass asian dude at my job decide to marry a woman who "ran with the boys" aka in the streets. s

Hasnt told him "I love you" in 20 years.



self explanatory if you ask me. a lot of dudes are wifing of just basic reciprocated attraction and fall easily for the machinations of certain women only in marriage for themselves.

 

[lib123]

Real talk...

Your relationship has to be grounded in friendship. The sexual chemistry needs to be good but....ideally the friend component is A+ while the sex is at least a solid B.

What usually happens is people marry the person where the sexual attraction/chemistry is A+ but your compatibility OUTSIDE of sex is like a C-

If you can't sit on the couch, eat pizza and watch Netflix or sports and just enjoy each other's company.....shyt won't last. A lot of folks be in lust instead of in love and can't separate the two. When you are truly with The One, you don't enjoy being without them for more than a few days. Life just doesn't feel as fun if they're not with you.

Big thing is couples should date longer and get past the honeymoon phase BEFORE marriage. Get the lusty, wanting to smash 7x/day shyt out the way. When you get down to smashing 1x or 2x/day or 5x/week etc., then you get a clear picture of what's real. Dated a lot of broads where we'd basically Netflix and Fukk from 7pm until 2am but I'd be happy when they left. With wifey, I wanted her to stay. That's the difference.

Interesting perspective. I’m relatively young but from what I’ve observed, don’t you think another factor can be that the man isn’t truly the woman’s 1st choice and he can sense that he was the fallback option? The woman was more interested in the idea or goal of getting married than the actual person she married? Like that Chris Rock joke.

 

[IsThatBrothaMouzone?]

Interesting perspective. I’m relatively young but from what I’ve observed, don’t you think another factor can be that the man isn’t truly the woman’s 1st choice and he can sense that he was the fallback option? The woman was more interested in the idea or goal of getting married than the actual person she married? Like that Chris Rock joke.

That happens quite a bit too.

Dude is a "5" but makes good money, knows how to dress and has figured things out. The female "7" been chasing ballers/handsome fuccbois etc., but they are out of her league and only used her for sex.

She wants to get married and FINALLY realizes she can't get a hot/sexy breh that's also educated (college or trade school) and gainfully employed. Those brehs either get snatched early or stay bachelor's until their 40s like Jeter. Most settle for the average or slightly below average breh that's strong in everything else but looks and sex appeal.

Men understand "leagues" better than women. We will aim for a hottie but it's more like a hailmary....just kicking the tires to see what happens. Women be legit thinking a male "9" is within reach when they're a "6".

Why? Because a female "9" isn't really messing with a male "6" but a male "9" will happily smash a female "6" on a pump & dump.

 

[Strapped]

Females spend too much

 

[lib123]

It seems like a lot of older guys feel stuck in life in general. I’m still relatively young but 2004 doesn’t seem like 20 years ago. I’d imagine it’s gut wrenching for a lot of guys who were 24 in 2004 and 44 now and haven’t reached goals they set back then.

 

[Ohene]

And this is why women need to be careful. Fall in love, turn into a babymomma and then when it gets hard your man says he can just go make other kids with another woman.

It’s funny how if a woman walks away from a marriage because things are hard, she gets blamed because women are the ones who always initiate the end and leave, etc, but if a man wants to walk away from a babymomma because it’s hard, everyone understands.




I’m not coming for you, breh, but this is the exact stuff I was talking about in them other threads.

If she was good enough to birth your first child, your family is worth saving.






Finally, the voice of reason.

I agree with the first part of your message but ppl rarely understand when a dad wants to give up

 

[Hacksaw Jim Thuggin]

Just breaking it down from my point of view a lot of dudes marry for the putang. While a woman does for social acceptance.

Once both satisfy their ego the women resent the man for being p*ssy whipped.

But what do I know.

i think theres a lot of truth to this....

getting over the lust for women will really open your eyes to their nature....

nothing bothers a woman more than you not being under the spell of her sexuality

 

[Belize King]

I'm never getting married

Why not? Speak on it?

I think most black men don’t go into their 20’s thinking about getting married. We trying to get money, knock everything down, and feed/house ourselves.

Lord willing we don’t seed up any women in that time.

30’s is where adulthood truly beings. I think you can find a god fearing, pragmatic, emotionally intelligent black man willing to see you for who you are. I might be hard but you have to be open.

I bumped into my Wife at 29. I wasn’t looking at all. I was only going to be in town for 18 months. We found each other and are still together 9 years later and going strong. I love her for who she is but she still decided to work on herself. It benefited our relationship. I’m working on myself as well. Together we are intentional with our relationship and children. I’m blessed to have a woman willing to put the work in. Many men don’t have that unfortunately.

We are in a microwave, selfish society now. It’s me before anything else. If you find a selfless person, that’s a great start to consider it they can be a future partner.

 

[Kasgoinjail]

@Belize King i may just have watched far too much Murder Mystery, however
I may be humble now

I just intend to be wealthy at some point in life

I don't want no one killing me for life insurance


I learned my lesson from so called friends in 2020

 

[WaveMolecules]

just had a kid with my wife.

feel sorry for miserable marriages.

 

[Ohene]

Thing is that nowadays, the average attractive woman is such a headcase that as a man you get tired of juggling them. I find the issue is one or a mix of these usually:

• Garbage ass communication skills - ignoring messages, not initiating contact, taking long to respond, being passive aggressive, boring conversations
• Poor conflict resolution - Being passive aggressive, tryna manipulate you with their emotions, silent treatment, very fickle and run at the first sight of conflict
• Entitlement - Having crazy expectations (i.e., i'm too good for the cheesecake factory, pay my bills, send me flowers etc., guy has to pay for everything)
• Trauma Responses/Baggage - daddy issues, been raped, been beaten, been cheated on, using all these psychological terms their therapists taught them and it affects their ability to just be in a regular relationship with you. They fear for their safety, dont trust you and generally have attachment issues.

And they are only getting worse. You will meet and talk to a woman and it feels like youre watching a tiktok or IG reel with all the nonsense they regurgitate. As a result, it's more efficient and peaceful a lot of the time to just have one solid chick and hold it down. On the flip side, women be knowing and switch up once you decide to hold em down

dudes is stuck between a rock and a hard place right now.