Why Are Most Couples Breaking Up Right After Having A Baby?

[blues_funk_reggae]

Because people had children for selfish ass reasons
One being that they thought a baby could fix the deficiencies in their relationship
Ie Keep a nikka baby(a lot of you nikkas were products of this pairing. It shows in your post.)
Or one of the people involved in said relationship thought a child could fix a “void” in them
Pressured by their parents and peer group because everything on the surface looked like that couple had everything going for them
When in actuality that relationship was big trash at home
Postpartum sinks in and can test the fukk out of both individuals
Especially if breh is a stand up dude, increasyhis workload to provide but a woman doesn’t want to be home alone all by herself and feel like she’s doing it by herself(one reason for my divorce)
But most importantly,
People having children that had no business in the first place
That goes for both men and women

My boy went through this word for word in 2012. Was putting in crazy hours, wife started barking about "I'm doing it alone, you never around anymore" even though his checks went from $1400 to $2000. eventually accused him of cheating "You never pick up your phone, I know you seeing someone" man had to show his check stub to his wife with increased hours. Her chemicals were out of wack. Constantly going ham on this dude. I had to pick him up on the side of the road one day when he had a breakdown. Eventually shyt got right for them and I never heard about it anymore but she made his life a living hell for a minute.

I'm glad I don't have kids.

 

[god shamgod]

This chick at my job had a baby with a dude august ‘21, January ‘22 she was tryin to fukk

I asked her didn’t you just have a baby with a dude 5 months ago? She said “just cuz you have a baby with someone don’t mean you gotta be/fukk with them” that’s flat out irresponsible & ridiculous to me

 

[feelosofer]

A lot of couples have a baby in the hopes it will save the relationship. It won't.

 

[beenz]

A lot of times the woman stops putting out after the kid is here

 

[1thouwow]

A lot of times the woman stops putting out after the kid is here

Happen to u?

 

[1thouwow]

"Most" couples or "More" couples?

Show me the data

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2015/06/30/when-threes-not-the-charm-how-to-manage-the-higher-risk-of-divorce-when-baby-comes-along/

A fifth of parents break-up in the year after having a baby

New research has found a fifth of couples break up during the 12 months after welcoming their new arrival.

www.goodto.com

'Before the baby, we were equal.' Why so many couples break up in the year after having a baby.

What are the triggers?

www.mamamia.com.au

The Real Reason Why Couples Break Up After Having A Baby - The List

There's no shortage of things you can do to prepare before your baby's born. Parents Magazine advises getting most of the prep work done by your final month and "enjoy the calm before the storm." But, what happens once the "storm" arrives? Here's why couples break up after having a baby.

www.thelist.com

 

[HabitualChiller]

Lots of reasons but I think the main ones are

1. Relationship was struggling and they thought having a baby would bring them closer. In reality it magnifies whatever problems existed

2. Many men are mentally, emotionally, and financially unprepared for a child. You're no longer a priority - the child and by proxy the mother are. Meaning you get less attention from both, and that weird dynamic of semi-competition for the mother's attention becomes a problem for many men. Instead of talking about it they run away. Not to mention the financial aspect. Many couples don't do any preparation for the child, they just have it. And suddenly the man is the main bread winner, money that once went to leisure is going to the child/household, and then men start calculating future costs. And again instead of talking they run away.

I put most of the blame on men for the simple fact that in most cases, the breakup occurs while the baby is a still nursing or not even in kindergarten yet. The mother is really in no position to escape - sure you can put your child up for adoption but that's rare. The father can escape though, and often does.

That's really crazy to think about honestly. For unmarried men, we can deadass just walk the fukk off if the mom is a pain in the ass to deal with, give her the X amount of child support money that the court awards her, then try again with another woman.

Honestly never thought about it like that.

 

[DonRe]

I dont speak for women. But for me i had my first born 8 months into a relationship and it was tuff. I aint want it. But i wanted the relationship. And yeah it was tough after that. Getting accomustomed to a whole new dynmaic and circumstance.

But if your lucky you have a solid woman and your focus then becomes the well being and safety for the child. Nothing else matters. Like absolutely nothing. Not your sleep. Not your funds. Not your time or energy. At least in the first yr or so.

Eventually the shyt is a breeze and your relationship and the fukking becomes poppin again.

A lot of it for me was this wild and heavy burden i put on myself to be there at every step for my babygirl. Fatherhood, to me at least, is manhood. Its my number 1 job and responsibility.

 

[Maquina]

Lots of reasons but I think the main ones are

1. Relationship was struggling and they thought having a baby would bring them closer. In reality it magnifies whatever problems existed

2. Many men are mentally, emotionally, and financially unprepared for a child. You're no longer a priority - the child and by proxy the mother are. Meaning you get less attention from both, and that weird dynamic of semi-competition for the mother's attention becomes a problem for many men. Instead of talking about it they run away. Not to mention the financial aspect. Many couples don't do any preparation for the child, they just have it. And suddenly the man is the main bread winner, money that once went to leisure is going to the child/household, and then men start calculating future costs. And again instead of talking they run away.

I put most of the blame on men for the simple fact that in most cases, the breakup occurs while the baby is a still nursing or not even in kindergarten yet. The mother is really in no position to escape - sure you can put your child up for adoption but that's rare. The father can escape though, and often does.

1) I would say most babies are unplanned , at least from the fathers side. Women obviously are in full control and their reasoning may or may not make sense.

2). You first sentence alludes to that point. Men are typically not ready nor looking to have a baby. And are basicallly forced into it and stick around because they feel they have to.

Women obviously change - you said something factual. They will tend to give less attention to the man for obvious reasons. However the man is supposed to up the attentiveness- during a period where the woman is basically unattractive and fat, has raging hormones , and an attitude .

Once the child comes - typically it’s less sex, the vagina isn’t the same for years, and the responsibility to raise a child that you may not have wanted in the first place. Couple that with directing the family because certain women tend to make bad irrational decisions when left with responsibility (even when it comes to raising kids).

Definitely equal blame to go around - nowadays both men and women seek out their own happiness (which finds men leaving and women seeking out other relationships and bringing multiple men around their kids )

 

[LadyJ2]

Because men cheat 3rd trimester through post-partum.

 

[1thouwow]

I dont speak for women. But for me i had my first born 8 months into a relationship and it was tuff. I aint want it. But i wanted the relationship. And yeah it was tough after that. Getting accomustomed to a whole new dynmaic and circumstance.

But if your lucky you have a solid woman and your focus then becomes the well being and safety for the child. Nothing else matters. Like absolutely nothing. Not your sleep. Not your funds. Not your time or energy. At least in the first yr or so.

Eventually the shyt is a breeze and your relationship and the fukking becomes poppin again.

A lot of it for me was this wild and heavy burden i put on myself to be there at every step for my babygirl. Fatherhood, to me at least, is manhood. Its my number 1 job and responsibility.

What about baby #2

 

[Wiseborn]

Anybody else notice this?

It's usually because the woman wanted the baby and not the Man.

 

[kaldurahm]

Women are smart.

I have a Portuguese coworker who got his girl pregnant, girl dipped on his ass, just wanted a baby. Dude is salty as shyt . Have babies without commitment, brehs.

 

[3rdWorld]

They ain't built for this. Its hard work, theyre not grounded, weak commitment and options for the man.

 

[DonRe]

What about baby #2

Well
My second child isnt a breeze but you get the routine going again. It wasnt planned either but now you know you are built to weather the storm.

To be a father of value that ego and selfishness has to go.