What's The Most Simp S*** You Ever Did (Simp Confessions)

[Xerces]

Early twenties

Some girl had gotten flowers from someone and a girl I was talking with, I overheard her respond with " I wish someone would buy me flowers"

So being the thoughtful person I am, the first time we went out, I got her flowers in her favorite color. She acted like she didn't give a crap


I'm not HOH, but I'm not a dummy either.

 

[TOAD99]

On page 2 and these stories are

Don't ever treat a girl better than how she treats you

Y'all needed better advice growing up

Only do nice shyt for your girl brehs not some hoe you're trynna smash

 

[GreenGhxst]

u dont eat p*ssy u aint hittin it right either #facts

throat cancer on the rise b, have fun speaking out of a straw breh

 

[Silkk]

So this got to 5 pages, need to go through it. First one was a coli classic

 

[International S.]

smh....here goes ...(deep breath)

I wanted this light skin joint (that was my thing at the time 15)
I mean really wanted her

would walk the bytch from the bus everyday
call her around 6 every night, 7 days a week
had a gut feeling I was a joke to her
so that summer I started flipping work...
we talked maybe twice the whole summer

towards the end of the summer my nikka had a party
she came looking for me and found me leaving the bathroom with a girl from across town
asked me to walk her and her friend meeka home so we could talk
(I hated meeka whenever I would be just about to smash redbone
she would show up and cockblock)

redbone then asks me for 400 for back to school shyther mom had recently lost her job, and I haven't heard from her because the phone was cut off...but she missed me soo much that she came to the projects to find me!

now in my mind im singing

Im gonna get some p*ssy, IIIIIII'm gonna get some p*ssyyyyy




I just wanted to bust them drawlz at least once
after I hit her with the bread she fa sho disappeared

nikkas started calling me a resthaven on the block My mind was fukked up for four months
she had decided to quit school and gotten pregnant by some nikka in the city
the 400 was used to get a pack for dude

I move down south and run into her friend meeka at a local club
she started beefing with her drunk sorority sister
I took her home and told her she could hit the couch and ill take her to RDU airport in the morning
we now have a son
we saw redbone at CIAA
(bag of laundry built side of the game these days)

 

[MeachTheMonster]

Just thought of another one.

Wasn't really a super simp act, but it was my lessen in simping and how not to do it.

Went on a college tour with my high school to Atlanta.

Whole time everybody is flirting. I pick out a chick, she seemingly likes me, and we kinda become partners through our tour. We get to a mall and I buy her ice cream. Was only a couple dollars, but I felt my gentelmanship solidified our budding relationship.

We get to the hotel and they put tape on our doors so we won't leave. She calls me and tells me she wants to "see" me. We could see there room out of our window across the balcony. So as the young daring dude that I am I whip my junk out and flash her from across the courtyard. Slap my junk on the window like

She tells her friends I was just a simp ass nikka that showed her my dikk and bought her some ice cream.

Next day we go to the mall, and she doesn't know that her friends told me what she said.

This bytch ask me to get her nails done. I told her "yeah let me go to the ATM"


I never come back, she has to pay for her own nails.

She finds me later asking what happened. I basically told her "fukk you, your girls told me what was real"

She spazzes out and ended up getting into a fight with some of the girls in her room.

I laughed my way home


This one event taught me everything I needed to know about females at that point in my life.







That was until I went on my simp mission to Columbus

 

[Xerces]

smh....here goes ...(deep breath)

I wanted this light skin joint (that was my thing at the time 15)
I mean really wanted her

would walk the bytch from the bus everyday
call her around 6 every night, 7 days a week
had a gut feeling I was a joke to her
so that summer I started flipping work...
we talked maybe twice the whole summer

towards the end of the summer my nikka had a party
she came looking for me and found me leaving the bathroom with a girl from across town
asked me to walk her and her friend meeka home so we could talk
(I hated meeka whenever I would be just about to smash redbone
she would show up and cockblock)

redbone then asks me for 400 for back to school shyther mom had recently lost her job, and I haven't heard from her because the phone was cut off...but she missed me soo much that she came to the projects to find me!

now in my mind im singing

Im gonna get some p*ssy, IIIIIII'm gonna get some p*ssyyyyy




I just wanted to bust them drawlz at least once
after I hit her with the bread she fa sho disappeared

nikkas started calling me a resthaven on the block My mind was fukked up for four months
she had decided to quit school and gotten pregnant by some nikka in the city
the 400 was used to get a pack for dude

I move down south and run into her friend meeka at a local club
she started beefing with her drunk sorority sister
I took her home and told her she could hit the couch and ill take her to RDU airport in the morning
we now have a son
we saw redbone at CIAA
(bag of laundry built side of the game these days)

So you and the woman you hated and thought was a cockblocker; you and her had a son?


That's a beautiful story my man! Funny how things end up ( no joke)

 

[International S.]

So you and the woman you hated and thought was a cockblocker; you and her had a son?


That's a beautiful story my man! Funny how things end up ( no joke)

yep...thats my ole lady these days

 

[Xerces]

yep...thats my ole lady these days

Good story, fella

 

[JQ Legend]

yep...thats my ole lady these days

Dope ending but u prolly still coulda smashed her friend if u strait up told her that 400 wasn't free

 

[Solano707]

@BlackPearl story time.

Chick had me and the other dude she was fukking over at her place.

Introduced the dude as her brother, which should've thrown up red flags because I remembered that she told me she only had two sisters. Anyway, we chillin..this broad starts whining about how her brother done gave this car so she can go to work and shyt (I was 19, she was 18) and how it needs some repairs to get it running and she broke..so I'm like..

Me: How much you need?

Dude: She needs $600.

Me:


Her: That's right...$600.


So I'm like where the car at? We go outside and it's a gotdamn Pontiac firebird, six speed sitting on some nice ass rims.

Me: When the hell you learn how to drive a stick?

Her: You know I know how to work a stick

Me: No...No, I don't know that.

Dude: She does though bro...very well


Me:


Anyway, I give this broad basically my check for two weeks to get "her" car fixed. She basically fell off the face of the earth for like three weeks..No replies to calls or pages. I'm out with my fellas at the theatre and I see the Pontiac with this nikka I saw at her house driving it. This nikka even got another broad with him in the whip..

This nikka sees me when him and his girl walk up to the booth and instantly starts

Me:

My boys looking at me and then him like .

Dude: I appreciate your help man...baby, say thank you to this man right here.

Girl: Thank you?

Me:


This wasn't the last time something like this happened to me

jesus chirst

 

[International S.]

Double

 

[International S.]

Dope ending but u prolly still coulda smashed her friend if u strait up told her that 400 wasn't free

bro i actually had to really scale down that post....shorty had no intentions on fukking with me....the new nikka dropped them off at the party
picked her up from the building I walked her to.

bytch finessed me
straight up....the phone was never turned off ...moms never lost her job
moms had put her out after she found out she was knocked up
I dont want it if its that expensive...

plus we were young ...p*ssy might have been subpar...and im paying almost half a rack for it..

every time I hear art of storytelling I get angry...I always remember that night

 

[semicko82]

Thread is already a classic My emotions went from toto

 

[BlaKcMoney]

fell hard for the chick i lost my virginity to....found out she was getting trains ran on her @ in multiple cities.....and i still took her back