What's The Most Simp S*** You Ever Did (Simp Confessions)

[Bruce Wayne]

Tutored a yellowbone for free.

she boughr me food and wore lowcut shirts showing her titties as a form.of payment tho

My.simping days have not been achieved yet

The Least Bad 1 that I've read yet.

 

[Ohene]

The most simp shyt I ever heard was on an episode of the 5150 show. This nikka Corey said Chicago got hit with a bad snowstorm one year and this girl who he was talking to called him because her car was stuck in snow. So he shoots over there to dig out her car. While he's digging her whip out he leaves his car running so it's hot when it's time for him to cut. So when he finally gets done his car battery died and he asks the chick for a jump. Do you know this bytch responded with something to the effect of "I don't want you messing my car up" and drove off

Damn. I don't even know if that's simp shyt though...the girl is just a bytch

 

[yardman]

Damn. I don't even know if that's simp shyt though...the girl is just a bytch

He drove out to dig a car of female he was trying to fukk.

 

[xXOGLEGENDXx]

Jesus Christ

I did eventually get to fukk but before that I was the simpiest of simps

This girl who was my HS crush ended up going to the same college as me. Gawd she had big booty. She had a boyfriend and was a hoe at the same time. My friend told me he already smashed. She was telling me how she wanted to leave her boyfriend etc..

I told her I wanted to be with her and poured my heart out.

Her: "You know people talk about me and say I'm a hoe. How do you feel about that?"

Me: "Idc about other people. I know you and want to give you the world. You're the perfect woman for me."



She still never left her boyfriend, but when they would fight she would show up to my dorm and I'd let her spend the night. Would buy her food and give her gas money. Was a total of at least $300-500 over time using my student loan money. Would give her foot massages. Even gave this biitch my Netflix password. Each time she would leave and kiss me on the cheek and say,

"You're so sweet and good to me."

I even changed a flat tire for her brehs

So eventually I gave up and realized I was a hard simp and started slowly transitioning to the dark side. Cut her off and moved on. A year or so later she hits me up pouring her heart out to me telling me she missed me and how she missed out on a great guy etc..

Invited her over and finally smashed then threw her to the bushes.

I can't even really say I redeemed myself, because the amount of simping I did was just too cringe worthy.

 

[intruder]

I can't say it. Ya'll would clown me forever

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

I can't say it. Ya'll would clown me forever

it cant be worse than whats been posted already

 

[Krazy]

Go watch a film and eat with a chick, not make a move on her the whole night then later on in the texts I was like "Damn wished I made a move on you tonight"

Another one was during high school, this known dirt I became friendly with. Intentions were to smash but we ended up becoming friend's,missed my opportunity I palmed her off when she wanted me to come chill with her. Ended up as her "bestie" knew all her business who she was fukking, she was out here fukking everybody but me
Can't believe I entertained her bullshyt lmao, I ain't seen or heard from her in years she disappeared.
fukk I look like encouraging her hoeness when it didnt even benefit me smh

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

Her: "You know people talk about me and say I'm a hoe. How do you feel about that?"

yea that's a huge red flag

 

[WhereIsTheLove]

I'm HOH and GMB now, but I had to learn the hard way

I met this 18 year old bad chick.. She had a boyfriend, but she kept telling me things like..

"he doesn't treat me right"

"i want to leave" (I don't fall for that shyt no more..)

She'd sneak off to text me at night.. after a couple weeks of this, I'm hanging out with her at a party. somebody snitched, her bf showed up. he flipped out. came and threw all her shyt on the lawn.. in the projects too :mjlol

seeing her there crying with everything she owned all strewn about, I felt pity for her..

I told her she could live with me. I hadn't even smashed yet at that point

it was a disaster and cost me thousands of dollars and a year of my life.

sometimes I think my big heart will be the death of me

Stayed after she cheated never again

I was friend zoned back in my early 20's and ended up buying the chick a dress for her date with another guy. My simping days ended at that very moment

$500 Christmas gift for a girl I never smashed while in college ...and no I couldn't really afford it at the time

Used student loan money to pay a girl's rent.

The things we do for women

 

[Bruce Wayne]

@BlackPearl story time.

Chick had me and the other dude she was fukking over at her place.

Introduced the dude as her brother, which should've thrown up red flags because I remembered that she told me she only had two sisters. Anyway, we chillin..this broad starts whining about how her brother done gave this car so she can go to work and shyt (I was 19, she was 18) and how it needs some repairs to get it running and she broke..so I'm like..

Me: How much you need?

Dude: She needs $600.

Me:


Her: That's right...$600.


So I'm like where the car at? We go outside and it's a gotdamn Pontiac firebird, six speed sitting on some nice ass rims.

Me: When the hell you learn how to drive a stick?

Her: You know I know how to work a stick

Me: No...No, I don't know that.

Dude: She does though bro...very well


Me:


Anyway, I give this broad basically my check for two weeks to get "her" car fixed. She basically fell off the face of the earth for like three weeks..No replies to calls or pages. I'm out with my fellas at the theatre and I see the Pontiac with this nikka I saw at her house driving it. This nikka even got another broad with him in the whip..

This nikka sees me when him and his girl walk up to the booth and instantly starts

Me:

My boys looking at me and then him like .

Dude: I appreciate your help man...baby, say thank you to this man right here.

Girl: Thank you?

Me:


This wasn't the last time something like this happened to me

This fukking Hurts Breh OMFG

That's beyond a Simp somehow, that's an L welded and bolted on you Jesus Christ.

 

[xXOGLEGENDXx]

yea that's a huge red flag

I know breh. Even told her I loved her and she said,

"Thanks for telling me."

 

[Bruce Wayne]

@BlackPearl story time.

Chick had me and the other dude she was fukking over at her place.

Introduced the dude as her brother, which should've thrown up red flags because I remembered that she told me she only had two sisters. Anyway, we chillin..this broad starts whining about how her brother done gave this car so she can go to work and shyt (I was 19, she was 18) and how it needs some repairs to get it running and she broke..so I'm like..

Me: How much you need?

Dude: She needs $600.

Me:


Her: That's right...$600.


So I'm like where the car at? We go outside and it's a gotdamn Pontiac firebird, six speed sitting on some nice ass rims.

Me: When the hell you learn how to drive a stick?

Her: You know I know how to work a stick

Me: No...No, I don't know that.

Dude: She does though bro...very well


Me:


Anyway, I give this broad basically my check for two weeks to get "her" car fixed. She basically fell off the face of the earth for like three weeks..No replies to calls or pages. I'm out with my fellas at the theatre and I see the Pontiac with this nikka I saw at her house driving it. This nikka even got another broad with him in the whip..

This nikka sees me when him and his girl walk up to the booth and instantly starts

Me:

My boys looking at me and then him like .

Dude: I appreciate your help man...baby, say thank you to this man right here.

Girl: Thank you?

Me:


This wasn't the last time something like this happened to me

You need this +Rep more than I do.

 

[Brandsdale]

I really didn't learn my lesson until I was in my late 20s. By that time simping mostly consisted financial "gifts." In my "prime" (1997 - 2007) I was making a fool of myself in every simp category; pointless and embarrassing gestures, tricking, communication, emasculation, friend/brother zoned, lack of intimacy (sex, kissing, touching et al). Just a terrible time to be alive. Particularly during those first six years (97-03), whole middle and high school career a fukking wash. 2004 opened new doors for me but I was just so used to making bad decisions by that point I was blowing opportunities left and right. Talking about spiking the ball at the 1 yard line doing simp shyt. Wasn't really until 2007-08 that I started to smarten up. As the years went by it was just tricking that was an issue. And that's definitely nothing to be proud of.

im in my mid-20s and finally got most of it. Still some things in terms of playing the game i dont understand but it all comes with trial and error. I've been meeting women and having them ghost or not even answer the first initials texts which over time started to make me become a little more desensitized to the whole concept of getting burned and going through the mind games and shyt. lately ive been in a bad slump, but its fine because it helps me learn what my strengths are and what i could be dong better. I smoke frequently so I guess that kinda helps as a coping mechanism and enabled me to not care as much since that feeling of dissappointment and hurt washes it away a bit and depending on strands, it helped me come to realization of things with not only women, but life that I hadn't seen clearer before. (this isn't a PSA to smoke weed do as you will btw lol)

at this point all I could extract from that past 3 years with women is that:

-everything comes with trial and error
-ask a close friend for guidance (even the most slickest savages need to refer to a playbook for advice sometimes)
-dont come off as a pushover
-agression (agression=more hunger=more numbers you getting= better statistical chances= higher output of p*ssy)
-having your own place is ideal but if you cant afford or in school at the time, having a car REALLY helps
-be relaxed, dont stress shyt too much. Girls pickup on how carefree and confident you are
-find something thats unique about yourself and hone it. bytches love to find the dude in the room that stands out from the crowd

the game sucks, i hate it, but hey, we all gotta eat right?

 

[Poh SIti Dawn]

Prolly continue talking to a girl after our thing ended cuz she had to move away for school

 

[SleezyBigSlim]

I let this girl where my jacket in 11th grade and she never gave it back.