What Is The Motivation To A Married Man Having A 'Mistress' ?!

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

The 'family property' law Shirley used on V stiviano only exists in the USA. In all other countries the wife can not claim back what the husband has given to anyone.

Has your husband had a mistress before who he gave lots of money to? You sound bitter.

I live in the US. Why would I care about laws else where? Why would I be mad? Even if your scenario his happen I would have got our money back then divorced did ass and got half and then some. Then I would have used his money to live off and get a younger better looking man. That sounds like a mother fukkin win to me breh



You sound mad the law isn't there to help side hoes.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

nah. you're not a man lol so your opinion on this irrelevant. I wanted male opinions. Also you are missing my point, these women aren't discount side pieces, these men are going around the office talking about how much they love them and genuinely see these women as an alternate family.

if I earn 200k a year and give a woman 20k a year that isn't a small amount.

I personally don't see any motivation to spend so much on a woman who isn't my wife. Hence this question, men don't spend money like women, if I knew I could have a cheap side piece there is no way in hell, that I would buy a 'mistress' a million dollar apartment. Even if I was worth 40 million lol.

The excuse they give for spending so much is that they 'love' them and they genuinely see them as their '2nd wife'...not because it's 'cheap' these men aren't dumb theyre very aware of how much their spending but they think they need to.

Hence this thread on where this 'mistress' concept came from.These men are putting in effort into these relationships.

If you're giving another woman the same lifestyle you give your wife and in his case taking so much time out of your work to spend time with some young lady you 'love', yes, that's not a 'discount'.

If my opinion doesn't matter why did you write this long ass post?

Seriously you sound mad bothered but you clearly don't understand men if you can't understand why they would do something like this. It pretty obvious. They think what they are getting his worth the money. Simple as that.

And the love bit . Stop believing everything men say. If they could fukk those chicks for free they would. But it cost to be the boss. The love bit is infatuation. Garentee those dudes would choose their money, wife and everything else before those broads.

I personally know a chick who was in this situation. She was with a married dude for 5+ years. Got her a crazy nice condo and had her driving the newest Benz. Wife found out. She got kicked out condo and he left her with the Benz payments. She was a hairstylist and I remember her balling her eyes out between he customers.

Seriously it's just a hobby for these dudes. No more no less. It's not that deep.

 

[David_TheMan]

stupidity

If you wnat to sleep around i don't see the point in even getting married.

 

[Theraflu]

I live in the US. Why would I care about laws else where? Why would I be mad? Even if your scenario his happen I would have got our money back then divorced did ass and got half and then some. Then I would have used his money to live off and get a younger better looking man. That sounds like a mother fukkin win to me breh



You sound mad the law isn't there to help side hoes.

No offence but as a wife what your husband does with his money is none of your business. Infact, if you found out your husband had a long term mistress and your biggest concern was how much he was spending...i'd imagine you were a gold digger to think that and for that to be your first response. And it would explain why he devoted so much of his time building a life away from you.

Infact, you're deflecting from this thread. This thread is a MAN asking other MEN why they keep mistresses. you a woman is coming in here on some 'they're whores!' shyt...take that to lipstickalley. I'm not here to ask whether they're 'winning'

Your opinion as a woman that they're 'not winning' is the same female 'hoes aint winning!' argument...take it to the Kim K thread or somewhere relevant. You're deflecting my thread.

 

[360dagod]

If my opinion doesn't matter why did you write this long ass post?

Seriously you sound mad bothered but you clearly don't understand men if you can't understand why they would do something like this. It pretty obvious. They think what they are getting his worth the money. Simple as that.

And the love bit . Stop believing everything men say. If they could fukk those chicks for free they would. But it cost to be the boss. The love bit is infatuation. Garentee those dudes would choose their money, wife and everything else before those broads.

I personally know a chick who was in this situation. She was with a married dude for 5+ years. Got her a crazy nice condo and had her driving the newest Benz. Wife found out. She got kicked out condo and he left her with the Benz payments. She was a hairstylist and I remember her balling her eyes out between he customers.

Seriously it's just a hobby for these dudes. No more no less. It's not that deep.

That's just not true in that situation..

It was simply a case of keeping the franchise player happy..

You dont rock with a sidepiece for 5 plus years and say it was just a "hobby"

Im sure they both caught feelings and shared info about each others life...

The fact of the matter is wifey found out and he had to make the moves necessary to keep shyt from collapsing...

 

[Vandelay]

Not understanding why this was a question.

Especially if she's half the age. You got your wife and you may or may not respect that she held you down, but newer younger p*ssy. It's not really a comp. I'm not advocating it, but men like p*ssy...wtf lol.

Divorce after building that shyt is more problematic than keeping it on the low with someone who is cool with the agreement.

 

[Theraflu]

That's just not true in that situation..

It was simply a case of keeping the franchise player happy..

You dont rock with a sidepiece for 5 plus years and say it was just a "hobby"

Im sure they both caught feelings and shared info about each others life...

The fact of the matter is wifey found out and he had to make the moves necessary to keep shyt from collapsing...

That woman is delusional.

Married women can delude them selves but it is not a 'hobby' when you're seeing someone every week for 5 years, taking them on 5 vacations a year and spending millions on them, their IRA, their healthcare.

I know most women would prefer to hide from the fact that their dude can have another woman and she's their 'only gem' but the reality is...after 20+ years, it's very possible your husband is just there for the convienience of your children and no longer loves you in that way. So he has chosen to seek more elsewhere.

it's a sad truth for women but telling themselves it's a 'sex hobby' makes no sense. =

 

[Youseenmywork]

Yall know how many women on instagram are traveling the world on a married man's dime ? OP you late

 

[360dagod]

That woman is delusional.

Married women can delude them selves but it is not a 'hobby' when you're seeing someone every week for 5 years, taking them on 5 vacations a year and spending millions on them, their IRA, their healthcare.

I know most women would prefer to hide from the fact that their dude can have another woman and she's their 'only gem' but the reality is...after 20+ years, it's very possible your husband is just there for the convienience of your children and no longer loves you in that way. So he has chosen to seek more elsewhere.

it's a sad truth for women but telling themselves it's a 'sex hobby' makes no sense. =

My female friend explained this to me..Like even if he is doing something, she dosent want to find out or even have a suspicion...Women who have a brother/brothers know the deal on the low..Assuming their brother's get women like that..They just dont want to know..

I was reading this tantra book and it said in a nutshell that Western Marriage is basically one of a kind....

 

[Brandsdale]

So I work in banking and a common trend I've noticed is a lot of the older men (40's,50's) have 'mistresses' I'm not talking about just any old side chick, I mean my boss bought some random 25 year old chick a fukking 1 million pound apartment and they 'love' each other. He see's her as his legit 'mistress' aka 2nd wife.

He bought her a big ass apartment, is paying her ISA (I think in the US it's called IRA) and has taken her on like a wife or in the way I'd expect a man to look after his wife, her health care, everything and he gives her racks on racks every month

I've noticed this common pattern that these old dudes have these young women they claim are their 'girlfriends' and their 'mistresses' and they proceed to spend thousands and thousands kitting said person out and building a 2nd life with the chick ?!

WTF is the motivation for this ?!

If they want sex on tap can't they just hire a hooker or get a booty call or something? what is the need for all this tricking on the girl and giving her so much money ? Wouldn't a hooker be more efficient than all this ? Especially if they know that wifey can't find out

And what exactly is a mistress? my boss said it's different and he 'loves her' and he has a separate life with her

well then why can't he leave his wife ?

I just don't understand why anyone would put themselves through the drama of running 2 separate homes and having two separate women you are financially responsible for? There are easier ways to get sex no?

These dudes are spending alot of money on this shyt and legit see these girls as people they owe money and need to provide for


The other dude said he got a mistress AND he still bangs his wife 'i love my mistress, i am simply fond of my wife'

I've met a good number of men now in their 40's and 50's who are doing this same shyt in my office

What is the motivation of doing this ?!

If I was going to cheat wouldn't a simple no strings side piece or hooker be easier ?!

And if you've already got stress in your marriage why the hell would you take on a whole other woman's finances and responsibilities.

If getting caught was your problem wouldn't buying a chick a condo, giving her money every month and taking out money from your family home be an easier way to get caught

Is anyone familiar with this concept of man having this 'mistresses' aka 2nd wife? Is it common they're so expensive? and you take care of them like your main family...

I'm just not getting the point of all this

just pure fukkin greed. I heard of dudes cheatin on wives because they dont get sex at home but having a mistress is "having your cake and eat it too" kinda thing

nikkas need to start jerking off more often in a marriage if thats the case to get that post nut clarity. Its never worth it to go that far

 

[fscballin]

I don't get what's so hard to understand. Mistresses has been the way men have gotten down for the entire stretch of humanity. The idea of 1 monogamous relationship is fairly new. You look at tribes or even biblical times - men didn't just smash and dash all the time. They had multiple wives or mistresses that where essentially mini wives. You look at the behaviour of many Jamaican and African men - it's multiple families.

The allure is clear. I don't think men are built to have monogamous relationships like that but I don't think rampant casual sex comes natural to men either for many reasons. Spreading your seed or willy-nilly with women you don't care for isn't wise. Sex is better when you have great chemistry with someone and you build on it. It's very difficult for 1 person to meet all of your emotional demands too. For men, multiple wives is the thing that makes the most sense imo. Mistresses is the closest thing in the Western world.

Again, this treating side pieces with contempt is a relatively new phenomenon. It's natural for a man to look after women they love and provide for her. The wife literally owns half but the mistresses will get looked after too. Plus you don't want the mistress to rock the boat too much. Also, again I think it's natural for a man to want to spend time with women he is intimate with. Even if it's a secondary or even third.

A lot of men who have mistresses still love their wives, at least in their minds. but they love the side piece too and treat each with as much respect as they can considering their actions.


IMO it's the leaving the wife and marrying a younger model is the thing I don't understand unless the wife has become truly unbearable.

 

[old_timer]

Do you think if your wife knew about the "work wife" [I hate the idea of that] she would be ok with it?

I view the work wife scenario as cheating. No other man is going to get close enough to be my confidant ... That's my husband's position

And I just think it's straight disrespectful to our bond

..of course she knew

i hope your bond is strong enough to be all things for all seasons

 

[HeavyTheDon]

Actually marriage is a great investment. For about 36k, I have a maid, a cook, psychologist, good sex whenever, and a daycare provider for years to come. She also gave me a son to carry my name for another generation and that's priceless. Y'all knock it because a lot of you clowns waited too late playing the field and its slim pickings while I got the choice cut early on. Miserable fukks.... Smh

 

[MammaSaidKnockYouOut]

LOL @ 25,,,,,, My mistress will be 21!

 

[Surreal]

Why you worried what other people do?