Repped, Thank You, at least my work ain't going unnoticedlowkey the best thread in TLR right now
What happens in Florida stays in Florida (wishful thinking) (updated with fukkery)
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Florida lawmakers pass bill allowing more armed teachers
Associated Press
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) — Florida lawmakers have passed legislation that would allow more classroom teachers to carry guns in school, the latest response to last year’s mass shooting at a Parkland high school.
The Republican-led House voted 65-47 on Wednesday to send the bill to GOP Gov. Ron DeSantis, who is expected to sign it. The measure expands an existing school “guardian” program to allow any teacher to volunteer to carry a weapon if their local school district approves.
Teachers who want to carry guns would have to undergo police-style training and undergo psychiatric evaluation. Under current law, only teachers who also have another role, such as sports coach, are eligible to carry weapons on campus.
The bill comes after 17 people were killed by a rifle-toting shooter at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in February 2018.
Associated Press
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) — Florida lawmakers have passed legislation that would allow more classroom teachers to carry guns in school, the latest response to last year’s mass shooting at a Parkland high school.
The Republican-led House voted 65-47 on Wednesday to send the bill to GOP Gov. Ron DeSantis, who is expected to sign it. The measure expands an existing school “guardian” program to allow any teacher to volunteer to carry a weapon if their local school district approves.
Teachers who want to carry guns would have to undergo police-style training and undergo psychiatric evaluation. Under current law, only teachers who also have another role, such as sports coach, are eligible to carry weapons on campus.
The bill comes after 17 people were killed by a rifle-toting shooter at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in February 2018.
Investigation underway after foul odor leads to discovery of corpse in Miami Beach
MIAMI BEACH, FLA. (WSVN) - Police are investigating after a foul odor led to the discovery of a dead body in Miami Beach.
Miami Beach Police officers responded to an apartment building in the area of 15th Street and Michigan Avenue at approximately 6 p.m., Tuesday after a dead body was found.
“It’s like a scene out of ‘CSI: Miami,'” neighbor Sherry Abramson said. “It’s not something you would ever think happens in real life.”
One neighbor said the building had been under construction, which led residents to believe caused an increase in the rat population and the foul odor.
An employee of the leasing office entered one apartment to investigate the smell and found the dead body.
“One of the board members went in last night. She has the spare key,” Abramson said.
The board member called police and told others concerned in the community what she found.
“Officers arrived on scene and confirmed that we had a deceased individual,” Miami Beach Police spokesperson Shantell Mitchell said.
Mitchell said she could not discuss what happened because it remains under investigation.
“It’s a little terrifying being so close to it,” neighbor Erik Rodriguez said. “Perplexing because this is not the kind of area that you would hear about this in Miami.”
Neighbors said the scene included swords, blood written on the wall and a rotting, decomposing body.
“There’s writing on the walls in his blood. It was heinous,” Abramson said. “A gruesome, awful, hideous scene.”
“It smelled for the times I walked by for the past two or three weeks,” a passer-by said.
Investigators have not said if a suspect has been arrested or identified, but sources inside the department told 7News there is a person of interest connected to the case, but they do not know where the subject is.
Despite the alarming accounts by neighbors of a potentially grotesque killing and no word of any arrests, police said the complex is safe.
“We don’t have anything else related to anything like this, and we are working quickly to make sure that the crime scene is processed,” Mitchell said.
Sources close to the investigation told 7News that a samurai sword was involved in some way in the crime scene.
The cause of death remains unknown.
If you have any information on this death, call Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers at 305-471-TIPS. Remember, you can always remain anonymous, and you may be eligible for a $3,000 reward.
MIAMI BEACH, FLA. (WSVN) - Police are investigating after a foul odor led to the discovery of a dead body in Miami Beach.
Miami Beach Police officers responded to an apartment building in the area of 15th Street and Michigan Avenue at approximately 6 p.m., Tuesday after a dead body was found.
“It’s like a scene out of ‘CSI: Miami,'” neighbor Sherry Abramson said. “It’s not something you would ever think happens in real life.”
One neighbor said the building had been under construction, which led residents to believe caused an increase in the rat population and the foul odor.
An employee of the leasing office entered one apartment to investigate the smell and found the dead body.
“One of the board members went in last night. She has the spare key,” Abramson said.
The board member called police and told others concerned in the community what she found.
“Officers arrived on scene and confirmed that we had a deceased individual,” Miami Beach Police spokesperson Shantell Mitchell said.
Mitchell said she could not discuss what happened because it remains under investigation.
“It’s a little terrifying being so close to it,” neighbor Erik Rodriguez said. “Perplexing because this is not the kind of area that you would hear about this in Miami.”
Neighbors said the scene included swords, blood written on the wall and a rotting, decomposing body.
“There’s writing on the walls in his blood. It was heinous,” Abramson said. “A gruesome, awful, hideous scene.”
“It smelled for the times I walked by for the past two or three weeks,” a passer-by said.
Investigators have not said if a suspect has been arrested or identified, but sources inside the department told 7News there is a person of interest connected to the case, but they do not know where the subject is.
Despite the alarming accounts by neighbors of a potentially grotesque killing and no word of any arrests, police said the complex is safe.
“We don’t have anything else related to anything like this, and we are working quickly to make sure that the crime scene is processed,” Mitchell said.
Sources close to the investigation told 7News that a samurai sword was involved in some way in the crime scene.
The cause of death remains unknown.
If you have any information on this death, call Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers at 305-471-TIPS. Remember, you can always remain anonymous, and you may be eligible for a $3,000 reward.
Meth smoking Florida man attacks mattress in jealous rage
Courtesy: Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office
Associated Press
FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. (AP) — An apparently hallucinating Florida man used a bedpost to attack a mattress where he thought a man was hiding.
In a Facebook post, the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s office quotes the girlfriend of 37-year-old Felipe Oquendo as saying that he began acting erratically early Friday. The girlfriend told deputies Oquendo thought she was cheating on him with a man he thought he saw in the mattress at their Fort Walton Beach home.
She said Oquendo hit the mattress with a bed post, ripped it apart and locked the bedroom door. She was able to escape and call police.
The sheriff’s office says Oquendo later admitted to having smoked meth.
Jail records don’t list a lawyer for him.
Courtesy: Okaloosa County Sheriff's OfficeAssociated Press
FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. (AP) — An apparently hallucinating Florida man used a bedpost to attack a mattress where he thought a man was hiding.
In a Facebook post, the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s office quotes the girlfriend of 37-year-old Felipe Oquendo as saying that he began acting erratically early Friday. The girlfriend told deputies Oquendo thought she was cheating on him with a man he thought he saw in the mattress at their Fort Walton Beach home.
She said Oquendo hit the mattress with a bed post, ripped it apart and locked the bedroom door. She was able to escape and call police.
The sheriff’s office says Oquendo later admitted to having smoked meth.
Jail records don’t list a lawyer for him.
Burger King launches line of ‘Real Meals’ that let you choose your mood
Courtesy: Burger King
Johari Canty
MIAMI BEACH, FLA. (WSVN) - Burger King has launched a line of “unhappy meals” which let the customer choose exactly how they are feeling.
The fast food company announced the addition of five meals that come with a box that let the customer choose how they are feeling.
The boxes include “pissed,” “blue,” “salty,” “YAAAS,” and “DGAF.”
The meals all come with a Whopper, fries and a drink.
The campaign, while appearing to be a not-so-subtle dig at McDonald’s iconic Happy Meals, it is also a part of a larger effort to promote mental health awareness.
For the month of May, which is also Mental Health Awareness Month, the burger chain is partnering with Mental Health America.
The company hopes the initiative will remind customers that it’s okay to not be happy all the time.
The promotion is only available at select locations, including the Burger King at 1100 5th Street in Miami Beach.
Courtesy: Burger KingJohari Canty
MIAMI BEACH, FLA. (WSVN) - Burger King has launched a line of “unhappy meals” which let the customer choose exactly how they are feeling.
The fast food company announced the addition of five meals that come with a box that let the customer choose how they are feeling.
The boxes include “pissed,” “blue,” “salty,” “YAAAS,” and “DGAF.”
The meals all come with a Whopper, fries and a drink.
The campaign, while appearing to be a not-so-subtle dig at McDonald’s iconic Happy Meals, it is also a part of a larger effort to promote mental health awareness.
For the month of May, which is also Mental Health Awareness Month, the burger chain is partnering with Mental Health America.
The company hopes the initiative will remind customers that it’s okay to not be happy all the time.
The promotion is only available at select locations, including the Burger King at 1100 5th Street in Miami Beach.
Sheriff: Florida man shot sleeping toddler with airsoft gun, forced her to wear shock collar
Courtesy: Escambia County Sheriff's Office
Johari Canty
ESCAMBIA COUNTY, FLA. (WSVN) — A Florida man accused of abusing his girlfriend’s 2-year-old daughter has been arrested.
Escambia County Sheriff’s Office deputies took 37-year-old Andrew Bennett Ross Celaius into custody.
Sheriff David Morgan said they began investigating Celaius after his girlfriend took her 2-year-old daughter to the hospital with what she believed was a ringworm infection.
Doctors there were quickly able to recognize signs of child abuse and notified deputies.
The sheriff added that detectives suspected sexual abuse as well. However, these reports have not been confirmed.
“We found systemic harassment, if not torture, of a 2-year-old child as this child tried to sleep. There are videos of the child sound asleep and then getting a half full bottle thrown on the child just to wake it up,” said Chief Deputy Chip Simmons. “Another time, this same child was sound asleep and this time a full bottle, thrown in an overhand type throw, right on the child clearly waking the child up and making the child cry.”
Simmons also said Celaius would shoot the sleeping girl with an airsoft gun.
However, Simmons said one of the more disturbing videos showed the child wearing a dog collar that would shock her.
“You can hear the sounds of the dog collar being activated and then the shrieking and the pain that the child has suffered as a result of this,” Simmons said. “At one point you also see the suspect with a flame; a bit of a torch and you can hear and see the child and the injuries as a result of those things. I’ve been in law enforcement for over 30 years, and when I looked at the evidence that we saw here, me and members of my staff were speechless.”
Deputies believe some of the abuse was captured on video and shared to other people. Additional charges are expected.
Celaius has been charged with multiple counts of child abuse and other crimes. The child’s mother was also arrested, at first. However, deputies said she is cooperating, and they do not believe she was aware of the abuse.
Investigators said that while in custody, Celaius contacted 36-year-old Eric Furnans, who destroyed evidence at Celaius’ request. Furnans now faces charges of destroying evidence.
Courtesy: Escambia County Sheriff's OfficeJohari Canty
ESCAMBIA COUNTY, FLA. (WSVN) — A Florida man accused of abusing his girlfriend’s 2-year-old daughter has been arrested.
Escambia County Sheriff’s Office deputies took 37-year-old Andrew Bennett Ross Celaius into custody.
Sheriff David Morgan said they began investigating Celaius after his girlfriend took her 2-year-old daughter to the hospital with what she believed was a ringworm infection.
Doctors there were quickly able to recognize signs of child abuse and notified deputies.
The sheriff added that detectives suspected sexual abuse as well. However, these reports have not been confirmed.
“We found systemic harassment, if not torture, of a 2-year-old child as this child tried to sleep. There are videos of the child sound asleep and then getting a half full bottle thrown on the child just to wake it up,” said Chief Deputy Chip Simmons. “Another time, this same child was sound asleep and this time a full bottle, thrown in an overhand type throw, right on the child clearly waking the child up and making the child cry.”
Simmons also said Celaius would shoot the sleeping girl with an airsoft gun.
However, Simmons said one of the more disturbing videos showed the child wearing a dog collar that would shock her.
“You can hear the sounds of the dog collar being activated and then the shrieking and the pain that the child has suffered as a result of this,” Simmons said. “At one point you also see the suspect with a flame; a bit of a torch and you can hear and see the child and the injuries as a result of those things. I’ve been in law enforcement for over 30 years, and when I looked at the evidence that we saw here, me and members of my staff were speechless.”
Deputies believe some of the abuse was captured on video and shared to other people. Additional charges are expected.
Celaius has been charged with multiple counts of child abuse and other crimes. The child’s mother was also arrested, at first. However, deputies said she is cooperating, and they do not believe she was aware of the abuse.
Investigators said that while in custody, Celaius contacted 36-year-old Eric Furnans, who destroyed evidence at Celaius’ request. Furnans now faces charges of destroying evidence.
TELL ME YA CHEESIN FAM?
I walk around a little edgy already
Florida teens stranded in the ocean pray for help, rescued by boat named ‘Amen’
Courtesy: Christ's Church Academy via Fox News
Johari Canty
VILANO BEACH, Fla. (WSVN) — Two Florida teens are safe and sound after they said their prayers for rescue were answered.
According to Fox 30, Tyler Smith and Heather Brown, both 17, skipped school for a beach senior skip day. The two friends swam offshore in Vilano Beach but became stranded about two miles off the coastline for about two hours.
The pair began to worry that they may not make it back since they did not have much strength and were helping each other stay afloat.
The two said that they then began to pray.
“I cried out, ‘If you really do have a plan for us, like, come on. Just bring something.'” Smith told Fox 30.
Shortly afterward, a boat named the “Amen” that had been sailing from South Florida to New Jersey saw the teens and came to their rescue.
“I started swimming towards it. I was like, ‘I’m going to get this boat. Just stay here. I’m going to get this boat. We are going to live.'” Brown said.
The men on the boat brought the teens on board and carried them safely to shore.
The two teens are crediting God and the men for saving their lives.
“There’s no other reason, no other explanation in the world other than God,” Smith said.
Courtesy: Christ's Church Academy via Fox NewsJohari Canty
VILANO BEACH, Fla. (WSVN) — Two Florida teens are safe and sound after they said their prayers for rescue were answered.
According to Fox 30, Tyler Smith and Heather Brown, both 17, skipped school for a beach senior skip day. The two friends swam offshore in Vilano Beach but became stranded about two miles off the coastline for about two hours.
The pair began to worry that they may not make it back since they did not have much strength and were helping each other stay afloat.
The two said that they then began to pray.
“I cried out, ‘If you really do have a plan for us, like, come on. Just bring something.'” Smith told Fox 30.
Shortly afterward, a boat named the “Amen” that had been sailing from South Florida to New Jersey saw the teens and came to their rescue.
“I started swimming towards it. I was like, ‘I’m going to get this boat. Just stay here. I’m going to get this boat. We are going to live.'” Brown said.
The men on the boat brought the teens on board and carried them safely to shore.
The two teens are crediting God and the men for saving their lives.
“There’s no other reason, no other explanation in the world other than God,” Smith said.
Florida suspect wore woman's wig to escape arrest
Posted: 3:03 PM, May 05, 2019Updated: 3:21 PM, May 05, 2019
VIERA, Fla. - A drug suspect on Florida's Space Coast tried to elude deputies setting up a perimeter around his house for a bust by bicycling away disguised in a woman's blond wig.
The Brevard County Sheriff's Office said they arrested Robert Walls despite his attempt at disguise.
The sheriff's office says in a statement that when agents caught up with Walls last Thursday to arrest him, he admitted that he was using the wig as a disguise to elude them.
The sheriff's office says he was wanted by a fugitive task force seeking suspects from a major drug investigation that led to arrest warrants for more than 100 defendants.
Online court records show no attorney listed for Walls. He faces charges of solicitation to sell a controlled substance and criminal conspiracy.
Posted: 3:03 PM, May 05, 2019Updated: 3:21 PM, May 05, 2019
VIERA, Fla. - A drug suspect on Florida's Space Coast tried to elude deputies setting up a perimeter around his house for a bust by bicycling away disguised in a woman's blond wig.
The Brevard County Sheriff's Office said they arrested Robert Walls despite his attempt at disguise.
The sheriff's office says in a statement that when agents caught up with Walls last Thursday to arrest him, he admitted that he was using the wig as a disguise to elude them.
The sheriff's office says he was wanted by a fugitive task force seeking suspects from a major drug investigation that led to arrest warrants for more than 100 defendants.
Online court records show no attorney listed for Walls. He faces charges of solicitation to sell a controlled substance and criminal conspiracy.
Florida man charged with DUI on his lawn mower
HAINES CITY, Fla. - A Florida man arrested on DUI charges is nothing new, but when you add a lawn mower to the equation it becomes a true #FloridaMan story.
Police arrested Gary Wayne Anderson, 68, Saturday after he crashed his lawn mower into a Haines City police vehicle.
An officer was inside a local business when he heard a loud crash from outside. After walking outside, the officer found Anderson sitting atop a lawn mower with a trailer.
Anderson admitted to hitting the vehicle while riding his lawn mower and was given a field sobriety test, which he failed.
While at the police department, Anderson claimed to have been poisoned by police and demanded to be taken to the hospital. At the hospital, Anderson's blood-alcohol content was registered at .241, more than three times the legal limit.
Cocaine was also found in Anderson's blood, but he said the police put the cocaine there.
According to police, Anderson's driver's license has been suspended since 1978 and he has two prior DUI convictions.
HAINES CITY, Fla. - A Florida man arrested on DUI charges is nothing new, but when you add a lawn mower to the equation it becomes a true #FloridaMan story.
Police arrested Gary Wayne Anderson, 68, Saturday after he crashed his lawn mower into a Haines City police vehicle.
An officer was inside a local business when he heard a loud crash from outside. After walking outside, the officer found Anderson sitting atop a lawn mower with a trailer.
Anderson admitted to hitting the vehicle while riding his lawn mower and was given a field sobriety test, which he failed.
While at the police department, Anderson claimed to have been poisoned by police and demanded to be taken to the hospital. At the hospital, Anderson's blood-alcohol content was registered at .241, more than three times the legal limit.
Cocaine was also found in Anderson's blood, but he said the police put the cocaine there.
According to police, Anderson's driver's license has been suspended since 1978 and he has two prior DUI convictions.
Summer aint even here yet!!
Florida woman pulls alligator out of pants during traffic stop
CHARLOTTE COUNTY, Fla. - Here's a twist on the "Is that an alligator in your pocket, or..." line.
During a traffic stop Monday in Charlotte County, a Florida woman pulled a live alligator out of her pants when an officer asked if she had "anything else."
The Charlotte County Sheriff's Office posted a picture of the baby gator on its Facebook page.
A search also turned up 41 striped mud turtles inside the woman's vehicle.
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission is now investigating the woman.
Florida woman pulls alligator out of pants during traffic stop
CHARLOTTE COUNTY, Fla. - Here's a twist on the "Is that an alligator in your pocket, or..." line.
During a traffic stop Monday in Charlotte County, a Florida woman pulled a live alligator out of her pants when an officer asked if she had "anything else."
The Charlotte County Sheriff's Office posted a picture of the baby gator on its Facebook page.
A search also turned up 41 striped mud turtles inside the woman's vehicle.
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission is now investigating the woman.
Florida man says demons took over his body when he beat up pregnant girlfriend
by Gary Detman
Monday, May 6th 2019
Matthew Douglas. 26. claimed demons took over his body when he attacked his pregnant girlfriend. (Pasco Sheriff's Office)
HUDSON, Fla. (CBS12) — A man accused of beating up his pregnant girlfriend told investigators demons took over his body when it happened.
The Pasco County Sheriff's Office arrested 26-year-old Matthew Joseph Douglas Saturday night on a charge of domestic aggravated battery on a pregnant woman.
Investigators said Douglas told his girlfriend to turn off the Xbox before bedtime. When she turned it back on, Douglas grabbed her around the neck, choked her, and shoved her backwards onto her bed.
Douglas, according to the arrest report, claimed he blacked out and that's what made him become physical with his girlfriend who is 18 weeks pregnant with their baby.
Douglas is being held at the Land O'Lakes Detention Facility. He had a warrant for his arrest for battery on a person 65 years or older.
by Gary Detman
Monday, May 6th 2019
Matthew Douglas. 26. claimed demons took over his body when he attacked his pregnant girlfriend. (Pasco Sheriff's Office)
HUDSON, Fla. (CBS12) — A man accused of beating up his pregnant girlfriend told investigators demons took over his body when it happened.
The Pasco County Sheriff's Office arrested 26-year-old Matthew Joseph Douglas Saturday night on a charge of domestic aggravated battery on a pregnant woman.
Investigators said Douglas told his girlfriend to turn off the Xbox before bedtime. When she turned it back on, Douglas grabbed her around the neck, choked her, and shoved her backwards onto her bed.
Douglas, according to the arrest report, claimed he blacked out and that's what made him become physical with his girlfriend who is 18 weeks pregnant with their baby.
Douglas is being held at the Land O'Lakes Detention Facility. He had a warrant for his arrest for battery on a person 65 years or older.
Florida man cites the First Amendment after getting arrested for ‘I Eat Ass’ sticker on truck
A Florida man is claiming his First Amendment rights were violated after he was arrested Sunday for sporting an “I Eat Ass” sticker on his truck, which is apparently a violation of the state’s obscenity law.
According to the Lake City Reporter, 23-year-old Dillon Shane Webb was pulled over on Highway 90 after an officer with the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office spotted his “I Eat Ass” sticker on the back of his Chevrolet truck.
From the Reporter:
The deputy claimed the sticker violates Florida Statute 847.011, which deals with possession and distribution of obscene material.
When the deputy confronted Webb and a passenger about the sticker, Webb said they were “just words,” according to the report.
The deputy asked Webb how “a parent of a small child would explain the meaning of the words,” to which Webb replied that it would be “up to the parent,” the report states.
The deputy issued Webb a notice to appear at the Columbia County Courthouse on May 23 before taking a photograph of the sticker to place into evidence.
In an effort to make the sticker slightly less offensive, the officer then instructed Webb to remove one of the letters. Webb refused and cited his First Amendment Right to announce to the world his love of eating ass.
Webb was then booked at the Columbia County Detention Facility. It's safe to say this case will get tossed.
A Florida man is claiming his First Amendment rights were violated after he was arrested Sunday for sporting an “I Eat Ass” sticker on his truck, which is apparently a violation of the state’s obscenity law.
According to the Lake City Reporter, 23-year-old Dillon Shane Webb was pulled over on Highway 90 after an officer with the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office spotted his “I Eat Ass” sticker on the back of his Chevrolet truck.
From the Reporter:
The deputy claimed the sticker violates Florida Statute 847.011, which deals with possession and distribution of obscene material.
When the deputy confronted Webb and a passenger about the sticker, Webb said they were “just words,” according to the report.
The deputy asked Webb how “a parent of a small child would explain the meaning of the words,” to which Webb replied that it would be “up to the parent,” the report states.
The deputy issued Webb a notice to appear at the Columbia County Courthouse on May 23 before taking a photograph of the sticker to place into evidence.
In an effort to make the sticker slightly less offensive, the officer then instructed Webb to remove one of the letters. Webb refused and cited his First Amendment Right to announce to the world his love of eating ass.
Webb was then booked at the Columbia County Detention Facility. It's safe to say this case will get tossed.