What do you guys think about a woman having guy friends and a man having female friends while in a relationship?

[Dreamchaser]

How old is the OP? The only friends that I have that women are the ones that I known from college and that's been over ten years. I got women colleagues that I'm cool with but not friends. As you get older you got less time to make new friends and you ain't spending that time looking to make women friends.

 

[Arcavian]

You're right, I just gotta walk away and don't even think about it anymore.

I just wish she didn't y'know have me become invested in her. The first time when she blocked me after things didn't go well the first time, I was at peace because I wasn't invested emotionally since we were just exploring the possibility of dating, but then time around it feels different because she made it seem like we were going somewhere, platonically.

The thing about me felling obligated could be just my ego making myself believe that it's my job to fix shyt even when there's nothing to be fixed.

The thing I'm trying to learn is not to invest soo much into someone soo quickly, I have a good heart with pure intentions so I guess I become attached to a person so that's why this all kinda hit me.

I don't care about her having a man or nothing like that it's just I thought she'd care enough to respect how all this would make me feel, maybe she does but also trying to set boundaries. Like you said tho I need to just stop with her.

Im gonna show you how to move on, pay attention

you see all that text you wrote that I crossed out

its all bullshyt, stop thinking like that, it doesn't matter

no and, ifs or buts, when you know what you need to do, do it

 

[Sonny Bonds]

Wall of text

I've only read the first page so far. But considering how much you wrote about this situation, she was right to cut you off. Either she was waiting for you to make a move or she was just using you for validation until a better man came along.

Why text with a chick from sun up to sun down if you're not trying to get with her?

 

[Estarossa]

Sounds like she left the door open and you missed your chance. Cut her off breh…

She moved on and now she’s just reaching out to keep you as her backup. She’s stringing you along and breadcrumbing you my nígga.

Now you making sad topics on thecoli about how you miss your “friend”.

 

[Unbothered]

it don't matter who hit who up first. You showed a lack of interest but wanted exclusivity and expected it from a chick that wasn't yo girl you've known for a month. So she sets her boundaries, friendzones you and you accept it. Then she continues dating like she should and finds a dude she likes who she wants to be her man and you're bothered by the fact she cut it off?
If you were her new man would you be fine with her to keep hanging out and texting with a dude she was thinking bout smashing just 2 months ago?
You can't be serious.

I mean I just feel like what she did was cold-hearted.

I understand she got a man and all now, shyt I got a woman I'm talking to myself but it's the principles of it all. It's how she just switched up soo quickly that hit me, especially after everything she expressed.

If she didn't express those thoughts and feelings about me this wouldn't even be a topic of discussion because I would've moved on but the fact that she did all that knowing this is how it would be is crazy.

This is lonely simp babble breh. It's okay to feel a little disappointed you had to lose a friend but dawg you had to know this shyt was gonna be short lived. You don't need to be messaging a chick all day to relieve loneliness.
If you wanna do that go make a dating app profile and set your shyt to "looking for friends" "platonic first and see where it goes" and you'll find an endless supply of women who will text you all day long and never have to meet up with them

I'm not lonely, it's just I take friendships seriously and the way she led me on telling how she cares about me and that I'm special so it made me take it to heart because I thought it was legit especially after she claimed to me she wouldn't say anything she didn't mean, since she's an upfront type of person so I took her word for it but now it just feels like she lied and I guess that's my conscience or ego not wanting to accept she may have lied.

 

[Unbothered]

I've only read the first page so far. But considering how much you wrote about this situation, she was right to cut you off. Either she was waiting for you to make a move or she was just using you for validation until a better man came along.

Why text with a chick from sun up to sun down if you're not trying to get with her?

Well, because I liked her the first time we spoke before things went bad and happened to contacted me to rekindle she made it clear we can only be friends because of that situation, a part of me accepted the friendzone because I felt like I owed her that after me fuking up when she wanted to date me.

My conscience felt a bit guilty that I let her down and maybe just maybe I'm doing all this to be self-serving and it's not really about her but me.

 

[Jazzy B.]

My honest opinion:

It doesn't work out unless you've been friends with a girl/guy since childhood. But a lot of y'all blur the lines of friendship when your adults by calling someone a friend you've only known for a little while. As a grown man, unless that woman when to nursery school with you or ate dinner with your family on Sunday nights, then you guys aren't actually friends. Your a hook-up in waiting.

And I think if you're looking for a serious relationship in this day and age, I'd bypass anyone who calls somebody of the opposite sex a friend that they've known for 2 months. I'm sure her man was sideyeing the hell out of her when she said that and rightfully so.

That's GAME women love to run.

A woman will call a man who propositions her and her friends at the club or the bar with drinks "a friend" to lower your guard


That's why you always gotta ask them where they met the male friends and as you said how long they've known them for and what activities they did.

If they met this male at any sort of club, party, late night event, IG the friend is a male that's interested in her which SHE KNOWS and she better tell them to if she wants a relationship.

 

[Sonny Bonds]

Well, because I liked her the first time we spoke before things went bad and once we rekindled a part of me accepted the friendzone because I felt like I owed her that after me fuking up when she wanted to date me.

My conscience felt a bit guilty that I let her down and maybe just maybe I'm doing all this to be self-serving and it's not really about her but me.

The fact that you two were texting so much was a sign that you were back on. Learn from the experience.

We've all messed up before.

 

[Arcavian]

One other thing, she may have told you WHATEVER
but she has the right to change her mind, THE NEXT DAY
this is not your conscience that you need to deal with
Its you EGO, YOU ARE OWED NOTHING


the game is the game thanks for playing

 

[cyndaquil]

I've only read the first page so far. But considering how much you wrote about this situation, she was right to cut you off. Either she was waiting for you to make a move or she was just using you for validation until a better man came along.

Why text with a chick from sun up to sun down if you're not trying to get with her?

Funny thing is I had a chick like who acted like OP I had to cut off recently. She didn't like me dating around (we knew each other less than a month) and put her on the back burner a lot cuz i have other priorities. Told her I'm just coming out of a long relationship so not looking for that right now. Chick wanted weekday dates and shyt nah weekend only. Was upset i didn't text her everyday. I told her all this upfront. She gave me head and a hand job without me asking or really trying on second date. After that then she started tryna play games to get my attention, manipulate me into being jealous, etc.
I was gonna friendzone her myself but I knew it was best to just cut her off.

I mean I just feel like what she did was cold-hearted.

I understand she got a man and all now, shyt I got a woman I'm talking to myself but it's the principles of it all. It's how she just switched up soo quickly that hit me, especially after everything she expressed.

If she didn't express those thoughts and feelings about me this wouldn't even be a topic of discussion because I would've moved on but the fact that she did all that knowing this is how it would be is crazy.

I'm not lonely, it's just I take friendships seriously and the way she led me on telling how she cares about me and that I'm special so it made me take it to heart because I thought it was legit especially after she claimed to me she wouldn't say anything she didn't mean, since she's an upfront type of person so I took her word for it but now it just feels like she lied and I guess that's my conscience or ego not wanting to accept she may have lied.

Your friendship was legit and she was upfront and genuine. Yall can be friends but if she gotta choose between your friendship and her new boyfriend she gonna choose him everytime my guy. To women friends are a lot more replaceable. I've seen women stop being friends with someone they been friends with for 10 years and then go make a new friend that same weekend. Let it go. Be happy she found somebody if she was truly your friend.

 

[Unbothered]

Your friendship was legit and she was upfront and genuine. Yall can be friends but if she gotta choose between your friendship and her new boyfriend she gonna choose him everytime my guy. To women friends are a lot more replaceable. I've seen women stop being friends with someone they been friends with for 10 years and then go make a new friend that same weekend. Let it go. Be happy she found somebody if she was truly your friend.

I've told her that I'm happy for her, but y'know what bothers me,? It's the fact that her attitude changed towards me, she's not as friendly and kind as she was before. I could deal with us not talking or texting as much but I'd expect for whenever I do briefly hit her up to at least be kind and treat me with some respect in terms of understanding how this affects me.

She doesn't even let me talk on the phone for a minute or two to get my point across; she just hurries me off the phone now and I'm not sure if that's because she has conflicted feelings or tryna satisfy the guy she's with, and I feel like that's disrespectful and made me feel this way in response to all of this.

 

[timeless]

That's GAME women love to run.

A woman will call a man who propositions her and her friends at the club or the bar with drinks "a friend" to lower your guard


That's why you always gotta ask them where they met the male friends and as you said how long they've known them for and what activities they did.

If they met this male at any sort of club, party, late night event, IG the friend is a male that's interested in her which SHE KNOWS and she better tell them to if she wants a relationship.

A serious woman would do this, but since she still hitting up OP that means she playing both sides. It's obvious she doesn't see him as a "friend" but as a replacement.

 

[Gains]

nothing wrong as long as boundaries are respected

 

[DJ Paul's Arm]

Those male friends are just “dikks in a glass case”

 

[ItsPeople]

Im gonna show you how to move on, pay attention

you see all that text you wrote that I crossed out

its all bullshyt, stop thinking like that, it doesn't matter

no and, ifs or buts, when you know what you need to do, do it

Lmao