What are some bars in rap songs you found hilarious but weren't intended to be funny

[Yehuda]

I said this in another thread but Cormega saying his mugshot is praised in jail cells and drug spots

I mean imagine cats in Rikers Island like

 

[ILLMMORTAL]

1.Think it’s a game when it ain’t,I’m lettin you talk,but bytch I’ll knock yo lips off! Gotttdamn

2.Then I’ll grab ya grandma by her weave hair,and beat her ass with that wooden leg she wear!

3.I’ll plant this 10 and a half so deep ya azz that you’ll be looking like a fakkit on the rag!

All verses from THE NOTORIOUS WILLIE D OF THE GETO BOYS!!

 

[Billie Jean]

"U fukin with my loot when you late on yo child support,she always give me half of that, on my car note" project pat

 

[Erratic415]

“You ain’t playing Ice Cube out like no booger”

“What’s N-X-E-T”- Warren G

“We ain’t got the skills to be a data processor”- San Quinn. Data processing is not rocket science lol

“I run with intruders, looters and sharpshooters
Who spark buddahs and fukk thick bytches with large hooters”- Big L

It just makes me think of Al Bundy and his nudie bar NO MAAM crew.

 

[SilverSamurai]

Tony Yayo in I Run NY yelling like his life depended on it: "FAT JOE AIN'T A GANGSTA. YOU SCARED TO FLY"

"ILL HAVE JA RULE BURIED IN SOME HIGH HEEL PUMPS"

 

[Slurmz]

"Please no shoes in my loft, I'm not a dirty nikka" - Larry June

I picture dude looking at a broad like as she tries walk through with her shoes on.

 

[drugxglory]

Not a bar but when Mike Tyson tells Canibus in the intro of 2nd Round KO:

"Hey, Mike Tyson here, speakin' with the Canibus man over here
Yo, Canibus, your main objective out here is to do nothin' but
Eat, eat, eat, eat, emcees for lunch, breakfastz'

Mike confused "canibus/cannibis" for "cannibal."

nikkaz was probably too shook to correct Mike

 

[FreshAIG]

"And I don't care about Porsches and all that stuff
I'm fukked up, I didn't even make cake with Puff"

When Sheek was going at 50, that bar was always hilarious to me.

 

[FreshAIG]

Big L on Danger Zone had a few bars apart that made me laugh but he said them bars like he was dead serious

"I keep a cutie with a soft booty
Hoes be runnin' up, "Can I get your autograph, L?" No, bytch, I'm off duty"

"I keep the gear fresh, I keep the braids rugged
I never wear rubbers, bytch, if I get AIDS, fukk it"

 

[King Poetic]

Probably the most saddest diss songs ever

Lakey the kid Why track dissing nas

When he said

Why my seed is not well off like your daughter /why u copped a phantom while your man wears his walkman

Broke nikka lake expect nas to do his job as a parent

 

[Erratic415]

Big L on Danger Zone had a few bars apart that made me laugh but he said them bars like he was dead serious

"I keep a cutie with a soft booty
Hoes be runnin' up, "Can I get your autograph, L?" No, bytch, I'm off duty"

"I keep the gear fresh, I keep the braids rugged
I never wear rubbers, bytch, if I get AIDS, fukk it"

Probably my favorite track from him.

I also like his special AIDS awareness shoutout at the end of Devil’s Son

 

[FreshAIG]

Probably my favorite track from him.

Mine too

 

[NZA]

"I take sacks to the face whenever I can..." Numskull, I Got 5 On It

 

[5n0man]

School boy Q. Drugs Kill..
girl: yeah right!
Q: bytch I'm for real

This was originally a bizarre from D12 line, it was intended to be funny.

 

[Karank0]

Ante up! WHAT my whole family nuts!
Run into your stash house, tie granny up