"the universe is listening; be careful what you say in it"

[aXiom]

This may just be the most powerful thread created since the coli was born.. don't sleep

 

[TheArchitect]

I'm sort of on the journey. The reason I say sort of is that psychedelics are VERY hard to come by where I'm at. The only advice I ever received was to "know the right white guy", but that hasn't helped.

The last time I took shrooms was amazing. It was like I "level'd" up, as someone stated earlier. I've been frantically looking for them ever since. Not one worry entered my head, and I was contemplating all kinds of deep things. I feel this would help me being that I had an EXTREMELY MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY DAMAGING childhood. I will post in detail about that in the following spoiler tag, for those who would care to read into that a little further.

Spoiler

A lot of parents don't respect the fact that a child's developmental phases are extremely critical for their mental health. I was basically one of those "lost children" that didn't have anyone to steer him the correct direction. My parents, I say, were the main cause of my "plight" in my younger days. i was pretty much told everything you don't have any business telling a child (things like your gonna be/area a failure, your nothing, etc.) or getting hit for the smallest infractions. I was never taught how to have self-esteem or confidence. Every time I would try and do something to gain that, I'd be stopped and/or criticized for it. I wasn't getting my ass beat at school, but people would take full advantage of my meekness. I never had anyone teach me to defend myself, further making me feel like I wasn't "worth it" or "inadequate" in some sort of way. The worse thing was i had such a love for martial arts, but I had NO ACCESS. I know for a fact had I been able to, things would of turned out different. It was like I was stuck between a rock and a hard world, with no way out. My other family was always states away, so I couldn't look to them for guidance. It was sort of like they knew what was going on, but they could do nothing but watch from afar and shake their heads. I was one of those kids who wouldn't overstay their welcome, but never really wanted to go home due to what awaited me. My only real salvation was my few REAL friends who still were cool with me and at least tried to tell me something, although when I would tell what's going on at home, no one could really say anything, or seemingly didn't really give a shyt. There were a couple of people who I never should of even started hanging with to begin with, but oh well. Now to this day, I rarely forgive or forget, due to what has happened before when I did....

Even females would try and get over and use me and play little games. shyt, I can't even honestly say I know what it's like to have a REAL gf or anything. I was the guy that would get turned down for whatever reason, just to see my "crush" hugged up with some other guy, or to find out that she likes/liked someone else. I've even damn near got set-up before. I even attempted suicide once (bout 16-17), but for some reason it didn't work. (i took a shytload of PM pills and decided to wake up wherever, until my manager called me and said I was supposed to work that day (which I'm sure I wasn't until this day, funny how things work out)...But I'll tell you what; if I had access to a gun I more than likely would not be typing this right now............I've had "girlfriends", but it was never anything worthwhile. My last "relationshyt" lasted almost a year, and it was NOT WORTHWHILE at all. I've never been with anyone I've liked or been even remotely attracted to. Man, I don't even know what it's like to ENJOY a woman's company. shyt, sometimes I don't think I ever will in any form. This is a huge part of what's made me so aloof towards women. and now, it's gotten to a point where I damn near feel as if it isn't even worth it.......

Pretty much, I was a ball of potential who always got used as a ball of trash to shoot trash can hoops with, or as a paperweight instead. I can say I've made a lot of progress, but I'm not where I need to be yet. However, I've almost accepted the fact that I will be more than likely walking my path by myself, and I'm almost fine with it, how disturbing it may sound.

I try to stay and think positive, but when your shyt's (mental set-up) is as damaged as mine, it get's extremely difficult.



Yeah, your boy's fukkED UP....

Basically right now due to being "very damaged goods". I feel like I'm playing catch-up. Not against anyone else, but my own personal growth. I kind of feel as if I shouldn't be even having these thoughts at this point (I'm 31), and I may have some sort of mental illness. I mean put it like this....I don't think I've ever had an honest "good day"; I'm THAT used to being down that it's almost normal...

Thing is, everytime I took shrooms or anything with psychedelic effects, all of this shyt I typed above became VOID, and I was actually "happy"...............................

 

[Ninjaz In Paris]

If ya'll want I can make a thread on how to properly take & use San Pedro Cacti, Salvia, etc for Inner Guidance... (pics, proper preparation methods, meditation method, proper shaman ingestion method, etc)

Anyone whose used an Entheogen before for Spiritual purposes understands it can be life changing...

 

[TheBeigeBomber]

I'm sort of on the journey. The reason I say sort of is that psychedelics are VERY hard to come by where I'm at. The only advice I ever received was to "know the right white guy", but that hasn't helped.

The last time I took shrooms was amazing. It was like I "level'd" up, as someone stated earlier. I've been frantically looking for them ever since. Not one worry entered my head, and I was contemplating all kinds of deep things. I feel this would help me being that I had an EXTREMELY MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY DAMAGING childhood. I will post in detail about that in the following spoiler tag, for those who would care to read into that a little further.

Spoiler

A lot of parents don't respect the fact that a child's developmental phases are extremely critical for their mental health. I was basically one of those "lost children" that didn't have anyone to steer him the correct direction. My parents, I say, were the main cause of my "plight" in my younger days. i was pretty much told everything you don't have any business telling a child (things like your gonna be/area a failure, your nothing, etc.) or getting hit for the smallest infractions. I was never taught how to have self-esteem or confidence. Every time I would try and do something to gain that, I'd be stopped and/or criticized for it. I wasn't getting my ass beat at school, but people would take full advantage of my meekness. I never had anyone teach me to defend myself, further making me feel like I wasn't "worth it" or "inadequate" in some sort of way. The worse thing was i had such a love for martial arts, but I had NO ACCESS. I know for a fact had I been able to, things would of turned out different. It was like I was stuck between a rock and a hard world, with no way out. My other family was always states away, so I couldn't look to them for guidance. It was sort of like they knew what was going on, but they could do nothing but watch from afar and shake their heads. I was one of those kids who wouldn't overstay their welcome, but never really wanted to go home due to what awaited me. My only real salvation was my few REAL friends who still were cool with me and at least tried to tell me something, although when I would tell what's going on at home, no one could really say anything, or seemingly didn't really give a shyt. There were a couple of people who I never should of even started hanging with to begin with, but oh well. Now to this day, I rarely forgive or forget, due to what has happened before when I did....

Even females would try and get over and use me and play little games. shyt, I can't even honestly say I know what it's like to have a REAL gf or anything. I was the guy that would get turned down for whatever reason, just to see my "crush" hugged up with some other guy, or to find out that she likes/liked someone else. I've even damn near got set-up before. I even attempted suicide once (bout 16-17), but for some reason it didn't work. (i took a shytload of PM pills and decided to wake up wherever, until my manager called me and said I was supposed to work that day (which I'm sure I wasn't until this day, funny how things work out)...But I'll tell you what; if I had access to a gun I more than likely would not be typing this right now............I've had "girlfriends", but it was never anything worthwhile. My last "relationshyt" lasted almost a year, and it was NOT WORTHWHILE at all. I've never been with anyone I've liked or been even remotely attracted to. Man, I don't even know what it's like to ENJOY a woman's company. shyt, sometimes I don't think I ever will in any form. This is a huge part of what's made me so aloof towards women. and now, it's gotten to a point where I damn near feel as if it isn't even worth it.......

Pretty much, I was a ball of potential who always got used as a ball of trash to shoot trash can hoops with, or as a paperweight instead. I can say I've made a lot of progress, but I'm not where I need to be yet. However, I've almost accepted the fact that I will be more than likely walking my path by myself, and I'm almost fine with it, how disturbing it may sound.

I try to stay and think positive, but when your shyt's (mental set-up) is as damaged as mine, it get's extremely difficult.



Yeah, your boy's fukkED UP....

Basically right now due to being "very damaged goods". I feel like I'm playing catch-up. Not against anyone else, but my own personal growth. I kind of feel as if I shouldn't be even having these thoughts at this point (I'm 31), and I may have some sort of mental illness. I mean put it like this....I don't think I've ever had an honest "good day"; I'm THAT used to being down that it's almost normal...

Thing is, everytime I took shrooms or anything with psychedelic effects, all of this shyt I typed above became VOID, and I was actually "happy"...............................

wow this hit me hard.

look at your depression as a gift. if i never went thu my depression i wouldnt be on this path right now. id be just as ignorant as ever. everthing happens for a reason. you werent meant to die that day.

you looked into mindfulness meditation? it teaches you to observe the thoughts and let them pass while having no impact on your emotions. you cant stop thoughts from coming up but you can recognise that they arent the real you. its the ego an illusion. if you do 20 minutes of mindfulnss meditation every day for just two weeks you brain chemistry changes. science has proven it.

do you do any sports? they are great because they take you out of your head and back into your body.

 

[TheBeigeBomber]

If ya'll want I can make a thread on how to properly take & use San Pedro Cacti, Salvia, etc for Inner Guidance... (pics, proper preparation methods, meditation method, proper shaman ingestion method, etc)

Anyone whose used an Entheogen before for Spiritual purposes understands it can be life changing...

magic mushrooms changed my life. i already made a thread on here after i took them. when i was meditating during the trip (before it got bad) i felt literal healing hands massaging my brain and healing me. it was the most incredible feeling ive ever had. i was laughing uncontrollably at how absurd my way of thinking was.

 

[Ninjaz In Paris]

magic mushrooms changed my life. i already made a thread on here after i took them. when i was meditating during the trip (before it got bad) i felt literal healing hands massaging my brain and healing me. it was the most incredible feeling ive ever had. i was laughing uncontrollably at how absurd my way of thinking was.

I cannot WAIT until I am "ready" for real DMT... I feel like my entire journey right now is leading me up to that moment of understanding & clarity...

 

[Pool_Shark]

so babies that die in a car accident weren't thinking positive enough? Starving kids aren't thinking positively about food enough? They deserve it cause they were bad in another life?

 

[GetInTheTruck]

"Liberation is the achievement of ones own nature "

 

[GetInTheTruck]

so babies that die in a car accident weren't thinking positive enough? Starving kids aren't thinking positively about food enough? They deserve it cause they were bad in another life?

What's worse, believing these things happen for a reason or no reason at all?

 

[Scientific Playa]

magic mushrooms changed my life. i already made a thread on here after i took them. when i was meditating during the trip (before it got bad) i felt literal healing hands massaging my brain and healing me. it was the most incredible feeling ive ever had. i was laughing uncontrollably at how absurd my way of thinking was.

British lecturer David Icke said something similar. he said years ago he took some type of hallucinogenic drink while on a fact finding trip to South America and it transported his mind to different dimensions.

 

[Mr.bocario]

Another reminder: having a positive attitude/mentality takes years to develop. Especially if you've been a negative person for most of your life

 

[Pool_Shark]

What's worse, believing these things happen for a reason or no reason at all?

believing they happen for a reason.

I got my theories on life and all that but those helpless people dying for no reason is the part I've had always had trouble making sense of.

 

[TooLazyToMakeUp1]

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned ?

Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains ?



Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

 

[GetInTheTruck]

believing they happen for a reason.

I got my theories on life and all that but those helpless people dying for no reason is the part I've had always had trouble making sense of.

Just living in this world is a punishment in and of itself. Grief and hardship exists even among the happiest of people. It is what it is.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

And here is your 1 star