Nice post. As someone who did tons of hallucinogens in my teens, I would reach a sort of superficial enlightenment that was short lived. Not real. Two years ago I decided to try them again in my 30s. This lead to a me feeling reborn and completely fearless of anxiety or the things that keep you from doing what your truly want to do. It was like my mind gave me a feeling of inner peace that although was caused by the substance, it provided a goal for personal discovery to reach without the psychoactive assistance. I was doing "heroic doses" of mushroom (see McKenna but 5g+) like weekly and would host for others. I went to an ayahuasca ceremony ran by peruvian shamans. They were frauds. Thats not the way.
I was going through a period where everyone thought I was becoming some sort of shaman. A bad trip was not possible. I was too dependent on the mushrooms however. Most people dont understand that these drugs/tools are not addictive and your mind comes to a point where it decides it has enough. Your desire to trip goes away. This happened when I ate 13 gs of dried shrooms and smoked dmt when I was already in the grid and I shot up to somewhere but felt myself leaving my body. I was definitely in two places at once. Outside of body I was given a tour another world/dimension by some beings I still dont fully understand. I do not have a history of mental illness and I actually work as a therapist and hold post grad degrees. This was not me triggering symptoms of mental illness.
As time went bye I continued to trip regularly but about 4 months ago, I just lost all desire to after a bizarre experience. I was just chilling and decided to smoke some dmt as I got this pipe that would allow you to "cross over" every time when I got it dialed down. Its not as easy as you think. So .4 mgs vaped later I shot up like a sling shot was greeted by these same red faced beings who were furious at me. I felt like I was trespassing in their world and that was what I felt it was communicating to me. I kind of did it out of boredom so it was like Im taking advantage of a powerful tool. They knew that or I projected that thought onto it. Smoking DMT is like 20 minutes of timelessness and alien worlds and visions. Its like seeing the answer sheet to a test but if you end up using it every time, you dont really learn that way. So I havent done anything for the past 4 months.
The thing with drugs like Shrooms and DMT is that they dont actually give you enlightenment, if they do its short lived. They give a glimpse of a new reality that is only temporary. It is your own duty to find your way back there without any assistance. This is where I am now and I am stuck. I dont believe it is as simple as positive subconscious projections. There is another level of something I still dont understand but it made me stray from atheism but not towards any religion. Pure humble acknowledgement that you will never know what is going on so dont fool yourself. However, there is nothing wrong with believing in projectig your reality, but get your ass to work still.
For those who have a hard time finding mushrooms check out this bookstore. I guarantee you will be content. It is a right of passage in understanding the universe and how it is way more powerful than your current idea of what it is. There is nothing to fear.
http://www.homesteadbook.com/store/ez-gro-mushroomkit-p-141.html
Those considering DMT, there is something to fear but in order to bypass the fear you must face it. It is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in my life.
The person in my avatar is Kilindi Iyi. He is an African martial arts master and takes 30 gram+ doses of mushrooms to battle on other realms. I know that sounds nuts but it is not. he is one of the most interesting people in the world. Aaliyah was his student.
Do look into him.
