Essential The Official Football (Soccer) Thread - We are SO back, the Premier League returns!

[dem bath salts]

Da Gawd's Nicklas Bendtner's hair

 

[Clapsteel O'Neal]

Gay breh who likes to be a woman, not that much to figure out is it.

Don't play silly buggers with me kunty. I meant asking questions about the artificial puccies and shyt. My cousin has a 'vag' now. Hence, me checking myself and 1'ing that idea immediately

 

[Sinnerman]

 

[BOBN]

This breh

Should call him Arry Potter. Kids got tales

'One of my favourite signings, and not just from my Bournemouth days, was a striker called Carl Richards. I took him from Enfield and he was a real one-off. He was a big lad, and looked more like Carl Lewis. I bought Carl for £10,000, went to pick him up from Enfield and while he went in to say goodbye to his manager, he left me with his mate.

''What are you signing him for?' said this kid. 'I'm 10 times better than him. I've got 26 goals this season, he's only got 12. I'm different class than him. Why don't you sign me?' I was worried. 'I can't buy you, I'm buying him,' I told Carl's mate, 'but I'll keep an eye out for you, don't worry.'

'So we took Carl and he was absolutely useless. He could run, but that was about it. We played about six games, couldn't win one. Carl was terrible. After about four games of this, he came to see me. 'I've got a mate,' he said. 'He was asking if he could have a trial. He's a striker, like me.' 'And is he as good as you, Carl?' I asked, suspiciously. 'No, he's not as good as me,' he said, 'but he's decent.'

''Well, tell him not to f***ing bother then,' I snapped, and that was the end of it.

'The following Saturday, we went to play Crystal Palace. 'My mate, the one who wanted a trial, he's playing for Palace today,' said Carl. 'Oh good,' I thought. 'No problem there then.'

'Anyway, three goals later I realised Carl wasn't much of a scout, either. His mate's name? Ian Wright, who went on to score 238 league goals.'

What a cracking story. We can hear Harry cackling as he tells it, ending with a 'facking football, eh'.

Except, well, Carl Richards signed for Redknapp's Bournemouth in 1986, a whole year after Ian Wright had joined Crystal Palace. Oh and Palace didn't play Bournemouth until the 1987/88 season...by which time this 'unknown' Ian Wright was deep into his third, very successful season with the Eagles.

 

[Vilified not verified]

my nikka Walcott Keane looks like such a miserable b*stard.

 

[BOBN]

"Harts very arrogant, I would have dropped Hart 6 months ago"


Roy Keanes great tbh Everybody else

 

[nyknick]

Where would Ozil actually play if he was on United?

He would be on the bench thumb wrestling with Kagawa, only game he would play.

 

[Kunty McPhuck]

i was born that year

1991 right?

was he really as great as they say he was?

Yeah thats the knee year. From the time he started vs Czechs in March 90 till he done his knee he had everything. Gerrard and Lumps wish they had tekkers like Gazza.

 

[Kunty McPhuck]

"Harts very arrogant, I would have dropped Hart 6 months ago"


Roy Keanes great tbh Everybody else

And the best thing is Keane been sayin it for over a year too. #nobandwagon

 

[Kunty McPhuck]

Don't play silly buggers with me kunty. I meant asking questions about the artificial puccies and shyt. My cousin has a 'vag' now. Hence, me checking myself and 1'ing that idea immediately

Google buddy, google, thats what it is there for. To look that shyt up in the comfort of your own room

Dont care if he got a snatch now, at heart he still took it up the chuff before the split ass was made

 

[Liu Kang]

Giroud
Just wonderful.

 

[Liu Kang]

Giroud again.
Well Benzema won't be a starter again. He's had his chances, can't hate.

 

[Liu Kang]

WTF. We're leading 4/0.
Cabaye goal from 20 yards
I'm stunned
Nasty Nas playing like a word class player

 

[ℒℴѵℯJay ELECTUA]

why isn't this thread sticky?

yo gooney rooney ..damn man.

 

[Liu Kang]

Debuchy goal from a volley It's ridiculous now. 5/0.
Newcastle players shining