Essential The Official Coli Horror Film Thread: Discussion, Recommendations And Murder.

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

THE LORDS OF SALEM

The Good
Judy Geeson, Dee Wallace and Patricia Quinn as a trio of witches were the only good thing about this movie and maybe if the film focused on those three instead of Sheri Moon Zombie this film would have been less of a train wreck.

The Bad
Sheri Moon Zombie is a charisma free automaton with the acting chops of a dust bunny and a constant look of dumbfounded wonder on her face. Giving her the starring role in any movie is asinine and should be enough to get whatever funding a director has been given taken away from him. If Rob Zombie is going to be allowed to make his singularly horrendous visions of horror then someone needs to take over the casting decisions from him so that he stops shoving his talentless wife on the world.
And speaking of Mr. Zombie, he really needs to take a few film school classes and join a writer’s workshop because he has no idea how to direct a movie in any way that makes sense and even less of an idea of how to write a cohesive script. Taking the ideas in your head and shooting them without any rhyme or reason does not a good movie make, Robert. The guy is all self-indulgence all the time.

The Ugly
No one aside from her significant other and her gynecologist really needs to see Meg Foster in her birthday suit.

Final Verdict
This was a terrible movie that made little to no sense, featured almost nothing of any interest in it’s entire running time and featured a wretched performance by Sheri Moon Zombie. The only bright spots were the wickedly delightful performances by Geeson, Wallace and Quinn but there was not nearly enough of those three to make up for the rest of the garbage this movie is filled with.

THE LORDS OF SALEM gets 1 unamused Capt. Spaulding:

What in the 3 Devil's Rejects From Hell on Salem's Lot is this???!!!! Why would you do this and what for!!!!????

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

THE LORDS OF SALEM

The Good
Judy Geeson, Dee Wallace and Patricia Quinn as a trio of witches were the only good thing about this movie and maybe if the film focused on those three instead of Sheri Moon Zombie this film would have been less of a train wreck.

The Bad
Sheri Moon Zombie is a charisma free automaton with the acting chops of a dust bunny and a constant look of dumbfounded wonder on her face. Giving her the starring role in any movie is asinine and should be enough to get whatever funding a director has been given taken away from him. If Rob Zombie is going to be allowed to make his singularly horrendous visions of horror then someone needs to take over the casting decisions from him so that he stops shoving his talentless wife on the world.
And speaking of Mr. Zombie, he really needs to take a few film school classes and join a writer’s workshop because he has no idea how to direct a movie in any way that makes sense and even less of an idea of how to write a cohesive script. Taking the ideas in your head and shooting them without any rhyme or reason does not a good movie make, Robert. The guy is all self-indulgence all the time.

The Ugly
No one aside from her significant other and her gynecologist really needs to see Meg Foster in her birthday suit.

Final Verdict
This was a terrible movie that made little to no sense, featured almost nothing of any interest in it’s entire running time and featured a wretched performance by Sheri Moon Zombie. The only bright spots were the wickedly delightful performances by Geeson, Wallace and Quinn but there was not nearly enough of those three to make up for the rest of the garbage this movie is filled with.

THE LORDS OF SALEM gets 1 unamused Capt. Spaulding:

and you disrespected Captain Spaulding with a captain Spaulding smiley about his own movies that he starred in.
YOU WANTED WAR, LETS FIGHT!!! Consider yourself an enemy combatant, persona non grata of the thread.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

@Jello Biafra actually wrote a whole hate write up of Rob Zombie's movies - wtf??! That nobody asked for and no one requested. Random.
Time to pick his non-think piece apart piece by piece

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

 

[23Barrettcity]

Alright everyone- I’m watching this , got delayed but so far this is the best found footage horror that I’ve seen in a minute . I jump yelled 3 times, already ,46 mins in my little one came in the room like “mommy wtf is wrong with you.” expression.
Me-Nothing. Go back to bed.
@23barretcity this is a good watch so far. Of course it has the cliche “let’s all split up to cover more ground “ but it’s not bad at all. Interesting bc parts of the movie are shown from the point of the view of the detective investigating the case. It’s like Cold Case Files meets “The Strangers” . I feel like there is a twist coming up with one of the victims - police just pulled her record and she has criminal arrests including a manslaughter charge.

Where did you watch it ? I’m looking on the streaming site I usually use

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

Where die you watch it ? I’m looking on the streaming site I usually use

Shudder - I didn’t use kodi. I went straight to the source.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

Where die you watch it ? I’m looking on the streaming site I usually use

I hope this isn’t predictive. I’m not ready to go yet

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

THE LORDS OF SALEM

The Good
Judy Geeson, Dee Wallace and Patricia Quinn as a trio of witches were the only good thing about this movie and maybe if the film focused on those three instead of Sheri Moon Zombie this film would have been less of a train wreck.

The Bad
Sheri Moon Zombie is a charisma free automaton with the acting chops of a dust bunny and a constant look of dumbfounded wonder on her face. Giving her the starring role in any movie is asinine and should be enough to get whatever funding a director has been given taken away from him. If Rob Zombie is going to be allowed to make his singularly horrendous visions of horror then someone needs to take over the casting decisions from him so that he stops shoving his talentless wife on the world.
And speaking of Mr. Zombie, he really needs to take a few film school classes and join a writer’s workshop because he has no idea how to direct a movie in any way that makes sense and even less of an idea of how to write a cohesive script. Taking the ideas in your head and shooting them without any rhyme or reason does not a good movie make, Robert. The guy is all self-indulgence all the time.

The Ugly
No one aside from her significant other and her gynecologist really needs to see Meg Foster in her birthday suit.

Final Verdict
This was a terrible movie that made little to no sense, featured almost nothing of any interest in it’s entire running time and featured a wretched performance by Sheri Moon Zombie. The only bright spots were the wickedly delightful performances by Geeson, Wallace and Quinn but there was not nearly enough of those three to make up for the rest of the garbage this movie is filled with.

THE LORDS OF SALEM gets 1 unamused Capt. Spaulding:

Reserving my space to address this later.. point by refutable point.

 

[MartyMcFly]

This man @Jello Biafra watched a movie he know he doesn’t like knowing damn well he wouldn’t have a single good thing to say about it. All out of spite

That’s hateful

 

[cac poster]

Jello and Nicoles beef over rob zombie movies is hilarious Lmaoo

 

[cac poster]

THE LORDS OF SALEM

The Good
Judy Geeson, Dee Wallace and Patricia Quinn as a trio of witches were the only good thing about this movie and maybe if the film focused on those three instead of Sheri Moon Zombie this film would have been less of a train wreck.

The Bad
Sheri Moon Zombie is a charisma free automaton with the acting chops of a dust bunny and a constant look of dumbfounded wonder on her face. Giving her the starring role in any movie is asinine and should be enough to get whatever funding a director has been given taken away from him. If Rob Zombie is going to be allowed to make his singularly horrendous visions of horror then someone needs to take over the casting decisions from him so that he stops shoving his talentless wife on the world.
And speaking of Mr. Zombie, he really needs to take a few film school classes and join a writer’s workshop because he has no idea how to direct a movie in any way that makes sense and even less of an idea of how to write a cohesive script. Taking the ideas in your head and shooting them without any rhyme or reason does not a good movie make, Robert. The guy is all self-indulgence all the time.

The Ugly
No one aside from her significant other and her gynecologist really needs to see Meg Foster in her birthday suit.

Final Verdict
This was a terrible movie that made little to no sense, featured almost nothing of any interest in it’s entire running time and featured a wretched performance by Sheri Moon Zombie. The only bright spots were the wickedly delightful performances by Geeson, Wallace and Quinn but there was not nearly enough of those three to make up for the rest of the garbage this movie is filled with.

THE LORDS OF SALEM gets 1 unamused Capt. Spaulding:

fukkin dying lmaooooo

 

[23Barrettcity]

Shudder - I didn’t use kodi. I went straight to the source.

lol I got shudder smh been wasting my time looking elsewhere

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

fukkin dying lmaooooo

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

This man @Jello Biafra watched a movie he know he doesn’t like knowing damn well he wouldn’t have a single good thing to say about it. All out of spite

That’s hateful

I’m making it my personal mission to not comment or post in any threads in any parts of the forum on this site, until I address his post. I see that I need to focus.

 

[Sghost597]

Castle Rock season 2 is a huge improvement over season 1.

It's more traditional and just a whole lot less of it being pretentious and up its own ass being a low quality art house show.

I love a good art show, but season 1 was just boring ass.

Season 2 isn't scary, but it's atleast engaging and entertaining