The axe murderer
For I am death and I ride on a pale horse
Damn
There is a Chinese ramake of Anaconda
gonna watch
The Chinese sharktopus remake was actually decent
Essential The Official Coli Horror Film Thread: Discussion, Recommendations And Murder.
- Thread starter Dominic Brehetto
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The axe murderer
For I am death and I ride on a pale horse
Brandy?
storyteller
Superstar
Based on my enthusiasm for the movie Cure, I picked out another Kiyoshi Kurosawa crime/thrill/horror movie to check out, Creepy. It will stay in my memory as one of the most frustrating films I've seen in a very long time.
It's a super interesting premise that carried me through the movie's first half. We follow Takakura as he investigates an old case with strange circumstances on one hand, and on the other we watch his wife's increasingly strange interactions with the creepy neighbor. Then the movie takes on a Hitchcockian twist that changes the tone and energy of the whole thing. It becomes a straight horror movie. I should LOVE that.
But the reveal breaks the movie. The characters make some bizarre choices early, but they get increasingly dumber as the movie goes on. I don't just mean some plot-convenient decisions either. Everyone in this movie is a moron. The MC, his wife, the villain, the victims, the police, the pet dog....they're all stupid. Nothing they do makes much sense, and the story falls apart.
So, I got very hype for a Cure level mystery in the first half of this 2 hour and 10 minute journey...then spent the next hour rolling my eyes and pissed off. The sad thing is Kurosawa directs the hell out of this movie and the acting performances are GREAT! But the stupidity of the characters is so bad that it ruins everything.
I have to stamp this a "don't bother" because I don't think people want to spend 2 hours watching subtitles for a plot that falls apart this badly. But I'm going to list off some of the dumbness of the plot with major spoilers so that you never have to watch it to understand why I'm mad.
It's a super interesting premise that carried me through the movie's first half. We follow Takakura as he investigates an old case with strange circumstances on one hand, and on the other we watch his wife's increasingly strange interactions with the creepy neighbor. Then the movie takes on a Hitchcockian twist that changes the tone and energy of the whole thing. It becomes a straight horror movie. I should LOVE that.
But the reveal breaks the movie. The characters make some bizarre choices early, but they get increasingly dumber as the movie goes on. I don't just mean some plot-convenient decisions either. Everyone in this movie is a moron. The MC, his wife, the villain, the victims, the police, the pet dog....they're all stupid. Nothing they do makes much sense, and the story falls apart.
So, I got very hype for a Cure level mystery in the first half of this 2 hour and 10 minute journey...then spent the next hour rolling my eyes and pissed off. The sad thing is Kurosawa directs the hell out of this movie and the acting performances are GREAT! But the stupidity of the characters is so bad that it ruins everything.
I have to stamp this a "don't bother" because I don't think people want to spend 2 hours watching subtitles for a plot that falls apart this badly. But I'm going to list off some of the dumbness of the plot with major spoilers so that you never have to watch it to understand why I'm mad.
- The movie starts with Takakura, the MC, calling a serial killer's bluff and getting stabbed and forced into retirement.
- After we see this dude fail to properly analyze a criminal, we get a time skip and he's now teaching criminal psychiatry which feels pretty dumb.
- We also meet Takakura's wife, who doesn't get much characterization, and Nishino, the creepy neighbor who doesn't even hide what a creep he is.
- Even though the neighbor is obviously creepy, people let him into their homes, follow him into his, and never call him on it.
- Nishino (creepy neighbor) has a daughter that keeps warning everyone. She tells Takakura's wife not to follow him inside his home. Then she literally tells Takakura, "That weird dude isn't my dad." Takakura doesn't do much about it.
- While all this is happening, Takakura is helping a colleague investigate a murder from 6 years ago.
- The big horror reveal about the serial killer is that he vacuum seals his victims' bodies to hide them.
- Convenient Plot Twist alert! The creepy neighbor who moved next door to Takakura IS the serial killer. He invades homes, drugs the families inside the homes convinces them to kill each other, and then steals the patriarch's identity.
- Takakura's colleague prints out a picture of the actual neighbor. But instead of going to Takakura with the info, he knocks on the neighbor's door, sees that it's an impostor, and follows the guy inside...scene cut.
- Well, now the colleague's dead, as are some other bytchy neighbors who just finished telling Takakura that the creepy impostor is a monster (this is the best psychological analysis in the film, and it's done by a throwaway side character instead of the criminal psych expert).
- Nishino, the creepy neighbor, has been drugging Takakura's wife (we don't really know how). He also has his fake daughter's mom locked in a room, and makes the daughter drug her. Nishino also tries to get the daughter to shoot her own mother, but when she freezes, he grabs the gun and does it himself.
- Nishino's fake daughter runs into Takakura's apartment begging for help. Nishino bangs on the door like a psychopath, and Takakura yells something at him. Nishino uses a key to try to get into the apartment, and Takakura storms out and kicks his ass...which gets Takakura arrested because his wife gave Nishino the key to the house.
- One of the dead colleague's superiors believes Takakura when none of the other cops do. So he, by himself, lets Takakura out and they go to Nishino's place. But they split up.
- The superior falls in a hole, and Nishino shoots him up with an overdose of drugs...by the way, these drugs have different effects depending on what a scene needs.
- Takakura apologizes to his wife for issues that we never actually saw on screen. Then Nishino approaches with the dead cop's gun. But Takakura says "you make others do the killings, you won't shoot me," which is dumb because we saw him shoot someone earlier. But Nishino freezes and won't shoot the guy. So Takakura's wife walks over and...DRUGS TAKAKURA.
- Nishino instead of killing Takakura, takes this "found family" with him to scout for the next home to invade. He tells them their new impostor identities but decides that the dog has to die. Only he can't shoot the dog. So he gives Takakura the gun, to have him do the shooting.
- Takakura's like "GOT EEEM!" and shoots Nishino instead. The fake daughter runs off with the dog. Takakura hugs his screaming wife. And I have no idea WTF we're supposed to take away from any of this.
- After we see this dude fail to properly analyze a criminal, we get a time skip and he's now teaching criminal psychiatry which feels pretty dumb.
- We also meet Takakura's wife, who doesn't get much characterization, and Nishino, the creepy neighbor who doesn't even hide what a creep he is.
- Even though the neighbor is obviously creepy, people let him into their homes, follow him into his, and never call him on it.
- Nishino (creepy neighbor) has a daughter that keeps warning everyone. She tells Takakura's wife not to follow him inside his home. Then she literally tells Takakura, "That weird dude isn't my dad." Takakura doesn't do much about it.
- While all this is happening, Takakura is helping a colleague investigate a murder from 6 years ago.
- The big horror reveal about the serial killer is that he vacuum seals his victims' bodies to hide them.
- Convenient Plot Twist alert! The creepy neighbor who moved next door to Takakura IS the serial killer. He invades homes, drugs the families inside the homes convinces them to kill each other, and then steals the patriarch's identity.
- Takakura's colleague prints out a picture of the actual neighbor. But instead of going to Takakura with the info, he knocks on the neighbor's door, sees that it's an impostor, and follows the guy inside...scene cut.
- Well, now the colleague's dead, as are some other bytchy neighbors who just finished telling Takakura that the creepy impostor is a monster (this is the best psychological analysis in the film, and it's done by a throwaway side character instead of the criminal psych expert).
- Nishino, the creepy neighbor, has been drugging Takakura's wife (we don't really know how). He also has his fake daughter's mom locked in a room, and makes the daughter drug her. Nishino also tries to get the daughter to shoot her own mother, but when she freezes, he grabs the gun and does it himself.
- Nishino's fake daughter runs into Takakura's apartment begging for help. Nishino bangs on the door like a psychopath, and Takakura yells something at him. Nishino uses a key to try to get into the apartment, and Takakura storms out and kicks his ass...which gets Takakura arrested because his wife gave Nishino the key to the house.
- One of the dead colleague's superiors believes Takakura when none of the other cops do. So he, by himself, lets Takakura out and they go to Nishino's place. But they split up.
- The superior falls in a hole, and Nishino shoots him up with an overdose of drugs...by the way, these drugs have different effects depending on what a scene needs.
- Takakura apologizes to his wife for issues that we never actually saw on screen. Then Nishino approaches with the dead cop's gun. But Takakura says "you make others do the killings, you won't shoot me," which is dumb because we saw him shoot someone earlier. But Nishino freezes and won't shoot the guy. So Takakura's wife walks over and...DRUGS TAKAKURA.
- Nishino instead of killing Takakura, takes this "found family" with him to scout for the next home to invade. He tells them their new impostor identities but decides that the dog has to die. Only he can't shoot the dog. So he gives Takakura the gun, to have him do the shooting.
- Takakura's like "GOT EEEM!" and shoots Nishino instead. The fake daughter runs off with the dog. Takakura hugs his screaming wife. And I have no idea WTF we're supposed to take away from any of this.
The axe murderer
For I am death and I ride on a pale horse
Whats some of your favorite chilling lines in a horror movie? This one is straight classic 
Hellraiser 3
"There is a secret song at the center of the world....and it's sound ... It's like razors through flesh!".
Hellraiser 2
"And to think .... I hesitated."
Well damn near any early Hellraiser flick
"There is a secret song at the center of the world....and it's sound ... It's like razors through flesh!".
Hellraiser 2
"And to think .... I hesitated."
Well damn near any early Hellraiser flick
storyteller
Superstar
Whats some of your favorite chilling lines in a horror movie? This one is straight classic
First one that always comes to mind is the delivery on "wouldst thou like to live deliciously"
Session 9's final recording lived up to the build-up for me:
And here's an absolute iconic one "because you were home":
Deeper cut, "it's a problem that I'm working on father, all this bleeding..."
And one last one, Barry Keoghan got a best supporting actor nomination off this performance. I debated showing his first description of the rules, but that's really only chilling in retrospect. This is a part that hits from the very first viewing:
Duke Dixon
Superstar
Be my victim
We Have Such Sights To Show You
I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over... and the insect is awake.
We Have Such Sights To Show You
I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over... and the insect is awake.
The axe murderer
For I am death and I ride on a pale horse
@Duke Dixon @abominable1 a line Hannibal said
"Amputate a man’s leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me Mom, when your little girl is on the slab where will it tickle you?”
That shyt
Lemme find that clip
"Amputate a man’s leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me Mom, when your little girl is on the slab where will it tickle you?”
That shyt
Lemme find that clip
The axe murderer
For I am death and I ride on a pale horse
Because you were home got me. They don't have many words but that? shyt
Yeah sacred dear in context is legit chilling when you watch it
Duke Dixon
Superstar
I watched these two movies earlier this week
The Beyond(1981)
They need Jesus and a sump pump
This movie was crazy. The scenes were all over the place and it did seem like a nightmare on film. The only thing I didn't like is that it turned into a zombie movie for a bit at the end. This is only the second Lucio Fulci movie I've seen so far. I plan on seeing his other big movies. Knowing that he had a big success with zombies it's understandable why the movie went there.
The gore is on 10 maybe 9 only because a couple things don't hold up.
I think I'll make a tier list of the Italian horror movies I've watched when the summer is over.
Baskin(2015)
AKA Turkish Hellraiser
I saw the trailer for this last year and couldn't remember what the name of it was for the longest. I finally watched it and thought it was ok. I think watching The Beyond right before sucked the air out of it for me. I wanted to see more crazy stuff at the end of the movie and unfortunately it under delivered for me.
I really did like the setup of the movie. You got to see the character of the cops at the beginning when they are the restaurant. The first scene when dude is a kid puts you into the movie. I didn't like the end of the movie. It's a common trope I've seen before in horror and I don't think it was needed here. I kinda like hwo many times the characters say hell in this movie and then they end up there
The Beyond(1981)
They need Jesus and a sump pump
This movie was crazy. The scenes were all over the place and it did seem like a nightmare on film. The only thing I didn't like is that it turned into a zombie movie for a bit at the end. This is only the second Lucio Fulci movie I've seen so far. I plan on seeing his other big movies. Knowing that he had a big success with zombies it's understandable why the movie went there.
The gore is on 10 maybe 9 only because a couple things don't hold up.
I think I'll make a tier list of the Italian horror movies I've watched when the summer is over.
Baskin(2015)
AKA Turkish Hellraiser
I saw the trailer for this last year and couldn't remember what the name of it was for the longest. I finally watched it and thought it was ok. I think watching The Beyond right before sucked the air out of it for me. I wanted to see more crazy stuff at the end of the movie and unfortunately it under delivered for me.
I really did like the setup of the movie. You got to see the character of the cops at the beginning when they are the restaurant. The first scene when dude is a kid puts you into the movie. I didn't like the end of the movie. It's a common trope I've seen before in horror and I don't think it was needed here. I kinda like hwo many times the characters say hell in this movie and then they end up there
Hannibal TV show had some prophetic shyt tooa line Hannibal said
"Amputate a man’s leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me Mom, when your little girl is on the slab where will it tickle you?”
That shyt
" I gave you a rare gift"
The axe murderer
For I am death and I ride on a pale horse
Man the fly is classic
"You're afraid to dive into the plasma pool, aren't you? You're afraid to be destroyed and recreated, aren't you? I'll bet you think that you woke me up about the flesh, don't you? But you only know society's straight line about the flesh. You can't penetrate beyond society's sick, gray, fear of the flesh. Drink deep, or taste not, the plasma spring! Y'see what I'm saying? And I'm not just talking about sex and penetration. I'm talking about penetration beyond the veil of the flesh! A deep penetrating dive into the plasma pool!"
What was the writer on
The axe murderer
For I am death and I ride on a pale horse
Didn't watch the beyond but was it crazier than baskin?I watched these two movies earlier this week
The Beyond(1981)
They need Jesus and a sump pump
This movie was crazy. The scenes were all over the place and it did seem like a nightmare on film. The only thing I didn't like is that it turned into a zombie movie for a bit at the end. This is only the second Lucio Fulci movie I've seen so far. I plan on seeing his other big movies. Knowing that he had a big success with zombies it's understandable why the movie went there.
The gore is on 10 maybe 9 only because a couple things don't hold up.
I think I'll make a tier list of the Italian horror movies I've watched when the summer is over.
Baskin(2015)
AKA Turkish Hellraiser
I saw the trailer for this last year and couldn't remember what the name of it was for the longest. I finally watched it and thought it was ok. I think watching The Beyond right before sucked the air out of it for me. I wanted to see more crazy stuff at the end of the movie and unfortunately it under delivered for me.
I really did like the setup of the movie. You got to see the character of the cops at the beginning when they are the restaurant. The first scene when dude is a kid puts you into the movie. I didn't like the end of the movie. It's a common trope I've seen before in horror and I don't think it was needed here. I kinda like hwo many times the characters say hell in this movie and then they end up there