Follow up from the above list of movies that need remakes- my picks with comments
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre - YES (my top watch)
Along with Zack Snyder’s 2004
remake of Dawn of the Dead, the 2003 “re-imagining” of Tobe Hooper’s seminal 1974 classic The Texas Chain Saw Massacre proved to Hollywood that iconic horror brand names could be repackaged for maximum box office appeal while fending off naysayers who decried the potential desecration of the genre’s tentpoles. Fortunately, the 2003 Massacre was quite an effective film on its own, even if it didn’t quite match the nightmarish surrealism of the original.
Then again, few films have, including all seven other titles that fall under the Texas Chain Saw umbrella. Even Hooper’s own, long-delayed 1986 sequel is only intermittently gripping, while more recent misfires like 2013’s Texas Chainsaw 3D and 2017’s Leatherface have only continued to sully the brand. Now the franchise seems to be going the Halloween route. There’s
an alleged “direct” sequel to the original film, shot last year and directed by someone named David Blue Garcia, and it’s slated to be released by Netflix at a yet-to-be-determined date.
The Howling - NO!! (We’ve had enough werewolves and vampire movies, it’s overrsaturated sub genre)
Incredibly, The Howling is another horror series that somehow lasted for 30 years, encompassing eight films (not to mention the three novels by author Gary Brandner on which the movies are loosely based) that have almost all gone direct-to-video and bear little resemblance or relation to the much loved 1981 classic directed by Joe Dante and featuring
groundbreaking transformation effects by Rob Bottin.
The legendarily bad
Howling II…Your Sister is a Werewolf was the first and last more-or-less direct sequel to the Dante film. But since the franchise has been dormant since 2011, the time is probably ripe for a full-on remake/reboot rather than a direct sequel to the now 40-year-old original, although any new film can certainly make plentiful references to the Dante movie. It director Andy Muschietti was supposedly going to direct a remake for Netflix, although his current involvement with
DC’s The Flash has clearly set that aside for now, with no updates since early 2020.
Friday the 13th (YES!!! hopefully they will do so before my kids start having kids, sheeeeessh)
Yes, everyone has a favorite entry or two (or at least a guilty pleasure) in the long-running Friday the 13th saga, but this is a series that was running on fumes almost from the get-go. For Chrissakes, even the 1980 original isn’t exactly a great movie. Nonetheless, it’s renowned for its plentiful gore and that immortal, shocking ending. So returning to that ending could be interesting, particularly since the mythology of the original series has been nearly as snarled and convoluted as that of Halloween. So why not pretend that the (quick count) 11 succeeding films never happened? Pick up right where the first film left off and re-introduce Jason in a creative new fashion.
Children of the Corn (YES, just because, no explanation needed)
Who would have thought that Stephen King’s 1977 short story, originally published in Penthouse magazine and taking up a mere 30 pages or so in his classic Night Shift collection, would be the unholy progenitor of
one of the longest-running franchises in horror history? After some 37 years and 11 films, the highest rating any of the entries were able to muster on Rotten Tomatoes (if reviewed at all) was a measly 33 percent, and that was for the original, which was a lousy piece of junk to begin with.
We’re not going to even pretend we’ve watched any of these pictures beyond the first, and from what we understand, there’s little or no continuity among them anyway. Yet the original tale is creepy enough (if far from King’s best), so conceivably the whole thing could be rebooted from scratch and perhaps even given the kind of
folk-horror angle that has been back in fashion in recent times. Or since the original has nostalgic value, imagine coming back on the same town 40 years after “the children” took over and may have been replaced by other generations. No, it doesn’t make sense, but a screenwriter could hammer out the logistics. The name alone still has some kind of cache, after all. Someone’s been watching these things for nearly four decades!