Essential The Mental Health Thread

[semicko82]

Just a vent:
I tried to do everything society told me to do be happy, but I end up more depressed at the end of the day.
I tried making new friends, but most are so narcissistic they can’t get their head out their a$$ for a few seconds to try to empathize with others.
People lie, cheat, lie. Same cycle over and over.
People say try to pursue a relationship, but most these women are either narcissistic or dirty as fukk ( figuratively and literally)

 

[semicko82]

I have so much to say and don't know where to start.

Guess I'll take it back to the start of last year. I've always been the type to be comfortable by myself as long as I had something to do like drawing or listening to music or playing games. But I started having anxiety attacks like crazy and when you combine that with severe loneliness due to living alone in the winter of all times, it made the anxiety attacks worse. So I made a decision to go live with my mom for a while to try and feel some sort of warmth again. I also decided that I should start putting myself out there and look for someone because it was made clear from my doc that my lack of socialization was one of the problems that led me to where I was.

So I was working out and felt energetic again and it was going fine up until feb-march of this year where I slowly started feeling lonely again. Everywhere I go for some reason, I always feel as if people are giving me dirty looks or just thinking negative stuff about me. Even when I go to work it's the same thing and no it's not a white dominated place, it's all black folks here so it's not racism. I'm also feeling that same negativity directed to me from my own mom so my loneliness just spiked up to where they were previously and it's just been slowly and steadily rising and I have no idea how to deal with it. What's weird is that people would always say, "don't worry you'll find someone" but in my head it always translates to "you're a piece of fukking shyt, merc. You're not gonna find anyone and if you do you're never make them happy either so fukk you, fukk YOU! fukk YOUUUUU MERC!.

In terms of support I have my music. That sometimes cheers me up. I completely stopped my art because my ambition dropped for it and games suck. I have my sister and my dad since the feelings from my mom aren't good. I also have this one lady who I work with every day. She's been one of the 3 people who I don't get negative vibes from and I'm super grateful that she's in my life right now because I genuinely don't know where I'd be if I didn't meet her. However I know everyone has their own problems so I refuse to let her in on everything I'm going through right now. She has some idea but not the whole thing so I'm just stuck trying to find my happiness again on my own but I don't know where the fukk to even start and it's messing with me to the point I'm just randomly getting emotional n tearing up before bed or in the shower. One time I almost broke down in the gym, that's when I knew I was fukked up. Luckily I haven't hit the point of suicide yet but those thoughts are looming in there too so eventually I think I might lose to that. I don't want too but I know myself enough to know if I don't find what I'm looking for I'm gonna be reckless and not give a fukk.

I think at the end of the day I just might need a hug from someone. Can't remember the last time I even got one. 5 or 6 years? I unno. So yea, that's my lonely tale. Hoping I find a method to get over it. Otherwise

How’s your relationship with our members of your family?

 

[Slic Ric]

Thanks fam. Same to you. Hoping you find peace. OCD makes even the best day feel like hell

lol people around me usually think OCD means that I like to have my clothes folded a certain way , or if I buy these new shoes I’ll be obsessed if there’s some sort of discoloration. Lol that shyt will literally drive you insane . I used to be at work obsessing over the smallest shyt , I’m
Not gonna lie this shyt has lowkey been an issue in my relationship. I keep obsessing if my girl is “ the one “! Everything was great in our relationship till she asked me if I loved her or if I see her as my wife in the future . That’s why I’m going to therapy .

Thankful for you brehs shedding light on an issue I've been dealing with since I was in the 6th grade man, its the most crippling shyt ever tbh. People like you said OCD is just you want to be clean & cant step on a crack, but it actually controls your entire mind 24/7 & just makes you think of the most irrational/ unrealistic shyt 24/7. I've always dealt with it but this COVID isolation has truly kicked it up to a point I dont even want to be around anyone anymore.

The worst part is you know its all in your head, but the OCD/thoughts just dont EVER leave. Not sure how you two handle it?

 

[Travelnomad]

Thankful for you brehs shedding light on an issue I've been dealing with since I was in the 6th grade man, its the most crippling shyt ever tbh. People like you said OCD is just you want to be clean & cant step on a crack, but it actually controls your entire mind 24/7 & just makes you think of the most irrational/ unrealistic shyt 24/7. I've always dealt with it but this COVID isolation has truly kicked it up to a point I dont even want to be around anyone anymore.

The worst part is you know its all in your head, but the OCD/thoughts just dont EVER leave. Not sure how you two handle it?

Same I didn’t know I had this issue until Covid and my first real relationship . To be honest with you I’m gonna go see a therapist this January, someone that focus on ERP ( Exposure Response Prevention )

 

[Hejdå]

How’s your relationship with our members of your family?

I don't talk to them often. Just my dad, sister and mom.

 

[semicko82]

I don't talk to them often. Just my dad, sister and mom.

Your a lucky man you have some type of support system

 

[Rozay Oro]

fukk my life

 

[Monsanto]

I figured myself out. Took a long damn time, but I'm glad I'm here. A lot of work, meditation, and analysis required but it can be done and for me, had to be done.

Gonna talk to my therapist about my graduation sessions.

For those going through it now, the low point is necessary in rebuilding and aligning yourself to who you will and want to become. Hard to see at the time, I remember being stuck there for a good 6 months. The hole you fell in covering itself with more soil hiding your exit. Its still there. You have to build while inside.

Read. Find your emotions. Your doubts. Your confidence. Your insecurities. Then once you've found everything that you have become. Learn to be your own friend. Can you suffice or turn to that hole to hide when things don't go your way?

In a way, a large part of this process is building yourself for self-sufficiency. You'll find that you are enough, but you have to put the clues together like an investigator. A profile of who you are. Habits. History that and social environments that developed the parts of your personality, values and behaviours.

Keep striving brehs

 

[semicko82]

I figured myself out. Took a long damn time, but I'm glad I'm here. A lot of work, meditation, and analysis required but it can be done and for me, had to be done.

Gonna talk to my therapist about my graduation sessions.

For those going through it now, the low point is necessary in rebuilding and aligning yourself to who you will and want to become. Hard to see at the time, I remember being stuck there for a good 6 months. The hole you fell in covering itself with more soil hiding your exit. Its still there. You have to build while inside.

Read. Find your emotions. Your doubts. Your confidence. Your insecurities. Then once you've found everything that you have become. Learn to be your own friend. Can you suffice or turn to that hole to hide when things don't go your way?

In a way, a large part of this process is building yourself for self-sufficiency. You'll find that you are enough, but you have to put the clues together like an investigator. A profile of who you are. Habits. History that and social environments that developed the parts of your personality, values and behaviours.

Keep striving brehs

Dap and rep

 

[Boris Reznikov]

Can’t believe I missed this great thread. Some good advice in here. This is my situation currently....


Very shy
Anxiety
Fearing the future
Caring deeply what others think of me which means my mood is a lot of the time dependent on how they react to me
Anger and despair about my future one minute, ecstatic and full of joy about my great future the next minute
Extremely negative thinking about people which most of the time has no basis in reality
Very insecure about my looks. I do suffer some facial paralysis which becomes obvious when I’m speaking and it has crippled my self confidence and self esteem.

One thing that has helped me a lot is meditation, good diet, breathing exercises, a good sleep and most importantly a regular workout. When I do these things my mood and confidence goes up. Only problem is finding the consistency to keep doing them.

 

[Marc Spector]

Going through a realllllllll bad Self Loathing spell brehs. One of the worst ones. My confidence has never been this low.

I feel like I couldnt pay a bytch to look at me. shyt, Ive gotten so fat i can hardly stand to look at myself. Been working out though , fukked up yesterday and binged ate and drank but today I was on it.

Now keep in mind, Im simultaneously trying to lose this weight, drink less, eat better and take better care of myself, kill my vices: like not watch porn/no fap (2 weeks solid on this), no online dating or fukking around on social media. I will in fact log off the coli for the foreseeable future on sunday. I disabled FB, created a positive vibes IG and deleted snap after realizing one of my situationships is probbly fukking somebody else and our thing has cooled off.

Alot of what im feeling just might be my brain coping with having the crutches taking away. BUt the crippling isolation of being alone for so long is really fukking with me too ( i moved last year during the summer to a far larger city than my hometown and have yet to make a single consistent friend/casual dating buddy).

Feel like im not learning the concepts of my engineering job either. Feeling im just drifting and half assing tasks.

i dunno just trying to work through this. might take a walk tomorrow after work or some shyt.

 

[BelowTheMasonDixon]

Going through a realllllllll bad Self Loathing spell brehs. One of the worst ones. My confidence has never been this low.

I feel like I couldnt pay a bytch to look at me. shyt, Ive gotten so fat i can hardly stand to look at myself. Been working out though , fukked up yesterday and binged ate and drank but today I was on it.

Now keep in mind, Im simultaneously trying to lose this weight, drink less, eat better and take better care of myself, kill my vices: like not watch porn/no fap (2 weeks solid on this), no online dating or fukking around on social media. I will in fact log off the coli for the foreseeable future on sunday. I disabled FB, created a positive vibes IG and deleted snap after realizing one of my situationships is probbly fukking somebody else and our thing has cooled off.

Alot of what im feeling just might be my brain coping with having the crutches taking away. BUt the crippling isolation of being alone for so long is really fukking with me too ( i moved last year during the summer to a far larger city than my hometown and have yet to make a single consistent friend/casual dating buddy).

Feel like im not learning the concepts of my engineering job either. Feeling im just drifting and half assing tasks.

i dunno just trying to work through this. might take a walk tomorrow after work or some shyt.

Man that's impossible. you got to take shyt one thing at a time. You ain't get hooked on all that shyt at the same time. Don't expect to be able to kick it at the same time. Just try to do one thing over three months and by 12 months you would have conquered 4 things.

 

[Child_Of_God]

Lately I’ve been feeling hella depressed cuz I will turn 28 in March and I’m still a virgin. The reason why I’m still a virgin is because I have anxiety and trust issues stemming from the abuse that I received from my father so it’s hard for me to open up to people unless I’ve known them for a while.

I do think about suicide sometimes because what’s the point of even living if you can’t even accomplish something that nearly everyone has manage to accomplish with little effort. I can’t even go out and meet any girls cuz of the pandemic and online dating is too superficial and dangerous. shyt honestly sucks right now and I just want the pain to go away.

 

[Child_Of_God]

If it wasn’t for my family and friends I would of ended this shyt already.

 

[Monsanto]

Lately I’ve been feeling hella depressed cuz I will turn 28 in March and I’m still a virgin. The reason why I’m still a virgin is because I have anxiety and trust issues stemming from the abuse that I received from my father so it’s hard for me to open up to people unless I’ve known them for a while.

I do think about suicide sometimes because what’s the point of even living if you can’t even accomplish something that nearly everyone has manage to accomplish with little effort. I can’t even go out and meet any girls cuz of the pandemic and online dating is too superficial and dangerous. shyt honestly sucks right now and I just want the pain to go away.

I'm going to suggest therapy for you.

The fact that you are able to point out the source of your trauma is a great start. Our childhood experiences and interactions with family members are some of the solid foundational pieces to us. You should talk to someone about those things.

I too couldn't trust relationships because of the divorce my parents had and the aftereffects that spiraled from that. Didn't want people to touch me or say "love you". I couldn't even say it when I knew I could.

So please don't give up, it will take some time, I know that may not be what you want to hear. These things built over a long period of time and will take some work to get over.

I assume you are in America, please make use of this number in the meantime:

1-800-784-2433