Essential The Mental Health Thread
- Thread starter 360dagod
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just did a zoom support groupleft that shyt, took too long to get to the point
Maybe we should do a Coli zoom support group.
Travelnomad
Banned
Been fighting OCD and anxiety since I was probably in the First Grade. For about 6 years I've been having waves of unspeakable intrusive thoughts (one in particular that makes me beyond sick to my stomach). Finally scheduled an appointment with a CBT. I really didnt want to because I thought going this route basically validates the disorder. But I'm tired of this sadness and guilt and fear I feel everyday for repetative thoughts I know I would never in my worst nightmares action on. Bought to take my life back
. Pray for me brothers
Any update ? This shyt is fukking up my life . I’m thinking about getting in touch with a therapist
Gott these edibles to breeze through those harsh lows
Mastamimd
Ain't shyt
Think I'm gonna have to cop some, these meds aren't working anymore
I AM WARHOL
Veteran
Well since this, my father passed away last year suddenly at the fault of his physicians so I've been in a dark place. I still have my old and anxiety but its been put on the back burner to deal with this ptsd and grief
. I've been seeing a therapist for the last year. We've touch on the OCD stuff a few times but really it was just about acknowledging it's a symptom of wanting to be in control. I still get really bad, sick, messed up intrusive thoughts, but at the moment even my mind is like 
at what happened to my Dad
I happened to jump in this thread on the last page so I have no context on your history or what you battle, but no cap for depression weed/edibles > than prescription drugs, again only if the primary issue is general depression, not tied to a specific past trauma, etc. The prescriptions will pass drug screening tests but that's their only advantage.
Travelnomad
Banned
Well since this, my father passed away last year suddenly at the fault of his physicians so I've been in a dark place. I still have my old and anxiety but its been put on the back burner to deal with this ptsd and grief
Damn sorry about your father man , that shyt is the worst , those thoughts will have you questioning your whole life and decisions .
I’ll keep you in my prayers
I AM WARHOL
Veteran
Thanks fam. Same to you. Hoping you find peace. OCD makes even the best day feel like hell
I have so much to say and don't know where to start.
Guess I'll take it back to the start of last year. I've always been the type to be comfortable by myself as long as I had something to do like drawing or listening to music or playing games. But I started having anxiety attacks like crazy and when you combine that with severe loneliness due to living alone in the winter of all times, it made the anxiety attacks worse. So I made a decision to go live with my mom for a while to try and feel some sort of warmth again. I also decided that I should start putting myself out there and look for someone because it was made clear from my doc that my lack of socialization was one of the problems that led me to where I was.
So I was working out and felt energetic again and it was going fine up until feb-march of this year where I slowly started feeling lonely again. Everywhere I go for some reason, I always feel as if people are giving me dirty looks or just thinking negative stuff about me. Even when I go to work it's the same thing and no it's not a white dominated place, it's all black folks here so it's not racism. I'm also feeling that same negativity directed to me from my own mom so my loneliness just spiked up to where they were previously and it's just been slowly and steadily rising and I have no idea how to deal with it. What's weird is that people would always say, "don't worry you'll find someone" but in my head it always translates to "you're a piece of fukking shyt, merc. You're not gonna find anyone and if you do you're never make them happy either so fukk you, fukk YOU! fukk YOUUUUU MERC!.
In terms of support I have my music. That sometimes cheers me up. I completely stopped my art because my ambition dropped for it and games suck. I have my sister and my dad since the feelings from my mom aren't good. I also have this one lady who I work with every day. She's been one of the 3 people who I don't get negative vibes from and I'm super grateful that she's in my life right now because I genuinely don't know where I'd be if I didn't meet her. However I know everyone has their own problems so I refuse to let her in on everything I'm going through right now. She has some idea but not the whole thing so I'm just stuck trying to find my happiness again on my own but I don't know where the fukk to even start and it's messing with me to the point I'm just randomly getting emotional n tearing up before bed or in the shower. One time I almost broke down in the gym, that's when I knew I was fukked up. Luckily I haven't hit the point of suicide yet but those thoughts are looming in there too so eventually I think I might lose to that. I don't want too but I know myself enough to know if I don't find what I'm looking for I'm gonna be reckless and not give a fukk.
I think at the end of the day I just might need a hug from someone. Can't remember the last time I even got one. 5 or 6 years? I unno. So yea, that's my lonely tale. Hoping I find a method to get over it. Otherwise
Guess I'll take it back to the start of last year. I've always been the type to be comfortable by myself as long as I had something to do like drawing or listening to music or playing games. But I started having anxiety attacks like crazy and when you combine that with severe loneliness due to living alone in the winter of all times, it made the anxiety attacks worse. So I made a decision to go live with my mom for a while to try and feel some sort of warmth again. I also decided that I should start putting myself out there and look for someone because it was made clear from my doc that my lack of socialization was one of the problems that led me to where I was.
So I was working out and felt energetic again and it was going fine up until feb-march of this year where I slowly started feeling lonely again. Everywhere I go for some reason, I always feel as if people are giving me dirty looks or just thinking negative stuff about me. Even when I go to work it's the same thing and no it's not a white dominated place, it's all black folks here so it's not racism. I'm also feeling that same negativity directed to me from my own mom so my loneliness just spiked up to where they were previously and it's just been slowly and steadily rising and I have no idea how to deal with it. What's weird is that people would always say, "don't worry you'll find someone" but in my head it always translates to "you're a piece of fukking shyt, merc. You're not gonna find anyone and if you do you're never make them happy either so fukk you, fukk YOU! fukk YOUUUUU MERC!.
In terms of support I have my music. That sometimes cheers me up. I completely stopped my art because my ambition dropped for it and games suck. I have my sister and my dad since the feelings from my mom aren't good. I also have this one lady who I work with every day. She's been one of the 3 people who I don't get negative vibes from and I'm super grateful that she's in my life right now because I genuinely don't know where I'd be if I didn't meet her. However I know everyone has their own problems so I refuse to let her in on everything I'm going through right now. She has some idea but not the whole thing so I'm just stuck trying to find my happiness again on my own but I don't know where the fukk to even start and it's messing with me to the point I'm just randomly getting emotional n tearing up before bed or in the shower. One time I almost broke down in the gym, that's when I knew I was fukked up. Luckily I haven't hit the point of suicide yet but those thoughts are looming in there too so eventually I think I might lose to that. I don't want too but I know myself enough to know if I don't find what I'm looking for I'm gonna be reckless and not give a fukk.
I think at the end of the day I just might need a hug from someone. Can't remember the last time I even got one. 5 or 6 years? I unno. So yea, that's my lonely tale. Hoping I find a method to get over it. Otherwise
Travelnomad
Banned
lol people around me usually think OCD means that I like to have my clothes folded a certain way , or if I buy these new shoes I’ll be obsessed if there’s some sort of discoloration. Lol that shyt will literally drive you insane . I used to be at work obsessing over the smallest shyt , I’m
Not gonna lie this shyt has lowkey been an issue in my relationship. I keep obsessing if my girl is “ the one “! Everything was great in our relationship till she asked me if I loved her or if I see her as my wife in the future . That’s why I’m going to therapy .